Story 1: Maybe or maybe not?

One-sided love is surely unbearable, is it not?

It was a usual afternoon in the Sanctuary, early autumn breezes brought within the sweet aroma of alstonia flowers, tiny milky white petals fell quietly, a perfectly calm and peaceful atmosphere to be noted. However, maybe it was not saved for everyone.

Sitting under the twin sala trees in his garden, the Virgo Saint sighed at his umpteenth failed attempt to meditate. Slowly opened his eyes, he quietly contemplate the beautiful petal rain. Shaka usually sought solace in the delicate flowers but at the moment, even the empyrean scene before his eyes could not make him feel any better.

He could not concentrate.

Shaka stared blankly at the sky above, it was almost sunset, the sky had changed into a pinkish hue. 'So beautiful' he thought, 'the color is as of his silky hair'.

'Ah...'

The blonde startled, realised that he was thinking of a certain Aries. 'Not again.' he murmured to himself in annoyance, the Aries Gold Saint was definitely the last one he wanted to think of. After all, he had fed up with all his thoughts about him. It was Mu all the time, his porcelain skin, his emerald eyes, his dulcet voice, his gentle smile, his sweet and charming scent, everything of Mu made him sick.

Totally gave up in meditating, Shaka lied down lazily on the grass, feeling ashamed of his helplessness. He could not hold back his thoughts about Mu, and was entirely out of control of his own mind. He saw Mu in every of his dreams, it was as if he could not pass a single second not thinking about him. Just lying here and thinking of Mu, it could last forever he knew that, but he could not do anything about it. Since when had he become so miserable, the Virgo could not remember. It was already too late when he finally realised that he had such strong feelings toward Mu. And even worse that it seemed to be one-sided. It was an incurable disease, Shaka could feel it slowly killing him inside, smothering him with deadly sweetness. Never in his life could he imagine that he, the one who was praised as the man closest to God would be so devastated because of a single person.

-x-

Today was especially more devastating to Shaka, as it was the day when Mu finally came back to the Sanctuary after a two-month mission in Tibet. He could feel the other man's gentle cosmo even before he stepped into the Aries temple. Since morning, many other Gold saints had come down to greet Mu. The Aries was loved by everyone, it was too obvious, after all he was such a gentle and kind man. The other Gold Saint even asked if Shaka would like to join them, everyone knew he and Mu were close friends, but the blond Saint just simply declined. He might not be able to hold himself if he saw Mu right now, it would be better if he just stayed in the Virgo temple, meditated and tried to avoid the thoughts of the Aries. But just when Shaka thought he had finally been left alone, Aldebaran came up to persuade him.

'Do you want to come down for a moment, Shaka? We're having a small party at Mu's place and we would love to have you there.' Said the Taurus.

'I'm sure you can still have fun, or whatever you wish to have, without me.' Shaka replied frankly, totally uninterested.

'Well, Mu would wish to see you.' Aldebaran persisted.

Shaka's heart skipped a beat when he heard Mu's name but he still remained cold. 'That is kind of him but I'm afraid it's my meditating time. You may say to him that I'm sorry. Goodbye, Aldebaran.'

'Don't be like that, it wouldn't kill you if you skip your schedule for a few hours. Mu really wants you to come.' Aldebaran sighed at the man's stubbornness. The Taurus gentleman knew there was something special between his two comrades, the Virgo man was just too proud to admit it.

Shaka, however, did not reply. He turned his back to Aldebaran and pretended to meditate. After a few minutes, he heard the Taurus's steps as he walked out of the Virgo temple.

-x-

It was evently that Shaka quickly regretted his decision after that. Of course he wanted to see Mu so badly but it would just make the situation worse. He needed to erase his unrequited feelings toward the Aries, or at least tried not to make it grow stronger. That way, maybe they would still be friends, maybe.

Still remaning at the same spot since Aldebaran left, Shaka sank too deeply into his own thoughts that he did not notice a certain Aries had come into his temple and approached him.

'Shaka.' Mu called softly.

Shaka was surprised at Mu's sudden appearance. He opened his eyes and blinked rapidly at the man, trying to find a reason for his unnoticing of Mu's coming.

'M..Mu...' He finally found his voice. 'Since when that y-'

'Are you alright? I heard Aldebaran said that you were sick? How do you feel now?' Mu cut out, looked absolutely worried as he leaned forward to touch Shaka's forehead.

Astonished by the touch, Shaka unintentionally slapped Mu's hand away. He immediately regretted but he still kept the perfect poker face. Closed his eyes again, the Virgo coldly said.

'I'm fine. I just need to be alone.' He emphasized the last word intentionally.

Mu was stunned at Shaka's strange behavior, but he still remained calm and gentle.

'I see. Actually I want to give you some souvenirs from Tibet. I will leave it here then. It's herbal tea so maybe it could make you feel better.' Mu paused for a few seconds, waiting for a response from Shaka.

Nothing.

'Alright, I will head back to Aries temple now, just call me if you need anything, rest well.' Mu smiled softly as he waved goodbye to Shaka and left.

It was no more than a five-minute conversation, but a real heartache to Shaka. The blond let out a long sigh when he was sure the Aries had left. Reached out for the carefully wrapped little box, Shaka opened his eyes again as he slowly unwrapped his present. This was herbal tea, like Mu said, the special type from Tibet, along with a lavender silk handkerchief, embroidered with Tibetan cloud patterns in a darker violet color. Mu was as thoughtful as always, little did he know that his gentleness actually killed Shaka inside.

'You are so cruel, you know...' Shaka chuckled a simple caring act of Mu could raise his hope up. Probably he would never be able to get out of this maze. But still, Mu was so gentle, so sweet.

Shaka deeply regretted his action, Mu was still his friend, was he not? And he was kind enough to bring him present. He should not have done that. Maybe he should apologize. Yes, it was only a simple action toward a friend, just a mere apologize, and a thanks for the present. Just that, nothing more, he would come to the Aries temple tonight to talk to Mu, a brief conversation and then he would leave immediately. It was not that he wanted to see Mu or tried to find an excuse to talk to him. He just needed to.

-x-

Later that night, Shaka was walking down the stairs that linked the Taurus temple and the Aries temple when he came cross Aldebaran who was walking in the opposite direction.

'Hey, Shaka!' The big guy greeted cheerfully. 'Looking for Mu?'

'Hello Aldebaran. Yes, I want to say thanks for the present.'

'Ahaha, yes yes, the herbal tea right? It's really good. Mu just brewed some for me at his temple, he even taught me how to brew it in the right way.' Aldebaran said as he waved a little box in front of Shaka, it looked just like the box Mu gave to him earlier. 'Camus likes it too, and you know that he always prefers coffee. Well then, Mu's at his temple, see you later, Shaka.' The taller guy grinned happily and waved at Shaka, did not see that the blond was dumbfounded by what he had said.

So Mu had presents for everyone, not just for him. Shaka thought bitterly. Obviously, like every other Gold Saint, he was a friend, nothing more than that.

Filled with disappointment, the Virgo Saint considered heading back to his temple without seeing his Aries comrade, but as he turned his head, he heard a familiar voice.

'Master Shaka, what are you doing here? Are you looking for my master?' It was Kiki.

'No Kiki, I'm just-'

'Master, master Shaka is looking for you!' Before Shaka could finish the sentence, Kiki ran back to Aries temple, not noticed the man's words.

Fantastic, now how would he face Mu?

'Shaka, do you need anything?' Mu asked softly, he looked a bit surprised. Apparently, he had not expected Shaka would come here after the small incident at the Virgo temple.

'Nothing in particular, I just remembered that I forgot to say thank you. And I apologize for my behavior earlier.' Shaka sounded perfectly calm.

'It's fine, I don't mind it. I was also uninvited anyways.'

'Very well then, I'm heading back now. Good night.' That was it, mission accomplished. Just that, no more no less. Shaka turned around and increased his pace, did not even wait for Mu's reply.

'Shaka, wait!' Mu suddenly called out.

'Yes?'

'I just want to ask, do you like it?' Mu said as he slightly looked down, which he found so silly because Shaka did not even open his eyes.

'Like what, excuse me?'

'The present.'

'Oh, I actually haven't tried it but I will. I like tea.'

'Not the tea, the handkerchief.' Mu's voice sounded almost like a whisper.

'Ah... it's nice too.' Shaka paused a bit before continuing. 'The silk feels nice and the patterns are beautiful, those things must be quite expensive, thank you.'

'I didn't buy it, I made it myself.'

'Huh?' Shaka blinked, could not help opening his eyes and looking directly at the Tibetan saint. 'You spent your time making twelve handmade handkerchieves for us?'

'No, I made just one,' Mu said 'for you.'

Shaka was speechless. His brain was trying to analyzing what Mu had said. The Aries said he made just one, for him only. The blond opened his mouth, tried to say something but no words came out. For several minutes, the two just stood still and stared at each other awkwardly.

'I need to go back now, you should get some rest too. Good night.' Finally Mu broke the silence. He said quickly and ran back to his temple, left behind a still dumbfounded Shaka.

-x-

Shaka still stared at the Aries temple long after Mu had left. Pulled out the handkerchief that he kept with him, Shaka brought it to his lips and kissed it lightly.

'Mu,' He whispered, 'does it mean I can hope for something deeper between us in the future?'

Author's note: In my culture, giving a self-embroidered handkerchief can be considered a secret love confession. Just saying.