A/N: 'Sup, guys? This is supposed to be pure crack, but then I ended up throwing a tiny bit of SasuNaruSasu in there soyeah. I can't with the SNS; they are my life, seriously. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Not much. Got a bit of swearing in there soyeah :)

"Teme! Get the hell away from me!" Naruto growled, low and deep, trying his utmost best to gain an inch of space between himself and Sasuke.

"If I could, don't you think I'd have done it by now?" Sasuke deadpanned, subtly trying to inch away from Naruto as well. How they managed to get stuck in this position still bewildered him beyond imagination. Then there was the matter of the irritating devils surrounding them.

"Ring a ring a roses

A pocket full of posies

Atishoo, atishoo,

And we all fall down!"

Laughter rang out across the playground, the kids seemingly oblivious to the struggling pair tied up in the middle of their circle.

"Again! Again!" One of the little monsters shouted out, standing up once more. The others soon followed suit, linking their hands together and once again forming the make-shift circle.

"Maybe if we reasoned with them they'd let us go?" Naruto asked uncertainly, having given up on his struggle with a huff.

"Tch, they won't listen, the little brats," Sasuke spat out, eyes deadly as he directed his gaze at each of the little children surrounding them.

"Well I don't see you coming up with other ideas," Naruto grounded out, trying in vain to direct his glare at Sasuke, head twisted awkwardly to the side. Sasuke refused to grace that comment with an answer, opting instead to direct his glare elsewhere.

"Oi, teme, are you pouting?" Naruto teased, having noticed the small pout adorning Sasuke's mouth.

Sasuke's silence seemed to be enough of an answer to Naruto's question, causing him to let out a guffaw from his position.

"Oh man, that's rich! Sasuke freakin' Uchiha, pouting because he got bested by a couple of six-year-olds," Naruto continued on, oblivious to the sudden halt of the children's game.

"You're one to talk. If I remember correctly, you were the first to get captured," Sasuke retorted, a hint of a smirk lining his face.

"Teme," Naruto huffed out, his cheeks puffed out in a comical fashion.

"Dobe." Naruto pouted even more, refusing to make a smidgeon of an eye contact with Sasuke.

Suddenly, the children all plopped down around Sasuke and Naruto an turned curious eyes on them.

"Hey, mister," one said to Naruto as he crawled over and began tugging at his pants, "Are you and your boyfriend fighting?"

"Er, uh, boyfriend?" Naruto stammered out, his face a cross between confused and slightly alarmed.

"Yeah!" Another child exclaimed, "My mommy said that people in re-re-rationships fight some of the time but then they make up afterwards."

"And then they eat each other's face off!"

"Uh, w-what?" Naruto stuttered out, his face slowly turning a bright red colour. Sasuke, for his part, seemed content on staring elsewhere, his mouth a twisted mix between a smirk and a grimace.

"Eww! They shouldn't do that. Kissing is gross," one of the girls seated to Sasuke's left stated, her friends' heads nodding in agreement.

"Uh, hang on; why on earth would you think me and this bast-er-Sasuke are a couple!?" Naruto nearly screamed out. Him and Sasuke? A couple? Hah! Kids these days, really.

"Because! Because you and S'ke are always together forever and ever, and you always stare at each other."

"Yeah, and Teacher Sakura says you care for each other loads!" The children all murmured their agreement.

"Sakura said that?" Naruto and Sasuke both repeated at the same time, a strange note seeping into their voices.

Then, the school bell rang, signalling that lunch time was over. The kids immediately bolted off towards their classrooms, glee alight in their faces. Silence reigned over the playground for a few moments, the two men deep in thought.

Naruto was the first to break the silence.

"Weirdest lunch ever, eh, Teme?"

"Hn," Sasuke replied, ever the talkative one.

"They actually thought we were together," Naruto nervously laughed, his voice echoing out in the empty playground. Sasuke remained silent, leaving Naruto's statement to die out.

"Heh, it's actually starting to get cold out here," Naruto commented, about to raise his arms in order to tug his jacket closer to his body. Belatedly he remembered two things: One, he was still tied up, and two, he was tied up and left alone with Jerk-Face behind him. Mentally he cursed his entire being. And the little brats. It was their fault to begin with anyway, he reasoned.

Naruto started to wiggle and tug at the constraints, wondering how the little devils managed to tie the knot so-damn-tight. "Hey, Teme, can you get yourself loose?"

"..."

"Oi! Stupid, can you at least help me!?"

"Would it really be that weird?" Sasuke questioned quietly.

"What? C'mon, help me out here! My butt is starting to freeze off!" Naruto exclaimed, still trying his best to shrug the constraints off.

"Would us being together really be that far-fetched?" Sasuke repeated, stronger this time.

Startled by the firm voice, Naruto stammered off, "I-I don't know, would it?" When Sasuke didn't reply immediately, Naruto twisted his head to the side, watching his profile intently.

"Tch, stupid, what are you staring at?" Sasuke seemed to spit out, shaking his head as if to get rid of unwanted thoughts.

Naruto let out a huff. "You're so damned complicated," he said, turning his head back around. The wind picked up once more, making Naruto shiver.

"Idiot, you should've worn thicker clothes," Sasuke reprimanded, an odd glint alight in his eyes.

"Like hell. I didn't know that we're going to be stuck out here for this long! How did this even happen?" Naruto grumbled.

"Naruto!" A feminine voice called out.

"Sakura? Sakura, over here!" Naruto shouted, hoping his voice would reach Sakura.

"Naru- there you are!" Sakura sighed in relief. Then, bewilderment crossed her features as she noticed their current predicament.

"It's a long story," Naruto answered her unasked question, resignation seeping out of his body like overflowing water.

"Just get us out of here," Sasuke grounded out, his body numb from his prolonged seated position. Sakura was about to lean down and untie the boys when a new voice joined the group, startling her back.

"Well, well, well. I didn't realise you boys are into bondage."

"Kakashi! This is a children's school! Watch your language, for crying out loud," Sakura scolded out, her fists tightened at her sides as she recovered from her shock.

"We are not into bondage, for fuck's sake, Kakashi," Sasuke hissed out, a deadly glare directed at the newest arrival.

"And where the hell have you been, huh, Kakashi?" Sakura enquired, venom seeping into the question. "You were supposed to be helping me with the kids earlier on."

"Ah, well, you see, Sakura," Kakashi began, absentmindedly scratching his jaw, "There was this old lady that needed help crossing the road, so, being the gentleman that I am, I helped her out. But then she also mentioned wanting to do her groceries and one thing led to another..."

"Bullshit."

"Ah-ah, watch your language, Ms Sakura. This is a children's school, remember?" Kakashi teased, reiterating Sakura's earlier words. Sakura began to mentally count backwards from ten, hoping to control her rising temper. 'Ten, nine, eight...'

"You know what, you're right," Sakura suddenly said, her stance switching to that of perfect innocence. "This is a children's school - "

"Mhm..."

" - filled with messy, messy children - "

"Uh, Sakura...?"

" - which you are going to help me clean. Now," Sakura all but growled out, dragging Kakashi towards the school by the ear.

Sasuke and Naruto, who - for the most part - mutedly watched Kakashi and Sakura's entire interaction, breathed a sigh of relief, glad that the dark aura that seemed to emanate from Sakura was gone. They waited a beat; then another; and another before Naruto realised, belatedly, two things once more: One, Sakura and Kakashi just left, and two, he was still tied up with Sasuke.

"Hey Sakura," Naruto started out, dread seeping into his voice.

"Kakashi?" He tried again, louder this time.

"Sakura! Kakashi!" He yelled, desperation colouring his voice.

~~oOo~~

"Kakashi?" Sakura asked, looking up from the piles of paper littering her desk.

"Hmm?" Kakashi hummed, his face buried behind a worn-out, orange book.

"Did we forget something?" Kakashi looked up briefly, humming once more in thought.

"No, I don't think so," he replied after a beat.

"Oh, okay." Sakura then bowed her head and went back to work.

~~oOo~~

"ANYBODY!?"