I was sprawled out on my bed panting heavily with my hair stuck to my face slick with sweat. God I was hot! We'll not in that sense at the moment. An according to the many of men that have had me breathing this heavily on my bed also begs to differ. I mean I was literally hot. Like panting, covered in sweat, gasping for air. I had just finished my six mile run through the woods and it was hard as hell. I strip off my yoga pants and sports bra before hoping in the shower.

The cold water washes away the grime that settled on my skin while in the woods. I have always taken cold showers as long as I can remember. There was something about the way it chills your skin that is surprisingly soothing. My family thought it was odd and told me I belonged in the Artic with the penguins. I smile at the thought of my family. Mom and dad downstairs listening to music on one of my moms only days off. Ashley, me and Jacob would be in the living room watching a movie for the thousandth time with my niece Sarah and her mom, my older sister Jessica. Our dog going ballistic in the living room because he loved Jessica, I mean everyone loved her. It was Jess.

That's when things were the easiest. I didn't appreciate them then. I didn't appreciate the time together or the little things that made great memories but I wish I had. I wish I was a better daughter. I wish I spent more time with them. I wish I could show my dad that I was listening to his advice and make him proud. I wish I could see my mothers beautiful smile. I wish I could see my niece grow up, my sister graduate tech school, my brother finally get the girl he's been chasing after since he could talk. I wish I could remember my last words before we all got into the car. I wish and pray for a lot of things but there's no point. Why wish for something that can't ever happen. Why wish for people who aren't even here. Why wish for the dead.

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I get out the shower an wrap a towel around myself before exiting my bathroom. I walk out into the living room/dining room/ kitchen of my little apartment. It's not huge but as of now it's home. After the "accident" I suffered major survivors guilt. It pushed me to do some crazy things, like putting a gun to my head and tying to jump of the Memorial Bridge before someone caught my right in time. If not I'd guess I'd floating somewhere in the Mississippi River or have half my face missing in the bottom of a grave.

I couldn't stay in my home town, my old house, old school, so I left an never looked back. I had family there but couldn't face them. How could I look at them knowing it wasn't right that only I survived an the rest didn't. There was some disagreeing at first but technically I was a ward of the state and was put in the system at age fifteen. I requested I go far, far away from there, which is how I ended up in Beacon Hills California. The town was small, population a little over 400 hundred people. I was sixteen now and legally wasn't an adult but was allowed to stay by myself as long as I called my social worker every week. It was October 18th, the first day at my new school, the first day of my new life. I called my social worker yesterday and she told me that I'm on my own for the first day and that all my paperwork was filled out. All I have to do is get my schedule, then my books an I'll be on my way. I look into my cracked mirror at my outfit.

My long brown hair was wavy, framing my heart shaped face. My body is small but built due to all the dance and Martial Arts classes I took as a kid. I am wearing a red fitted v neck with black leather skinny jeans. I slip my feet into my favorite pair of heeled booties and apply my lipstick to match my top. I put on my leather jacket, grab my fringe bag and the keys to my black Ascari before walking out the door. I absolutely love my car! I bought it this past month with some of my settlement money from the crash. Both my parents were esteemed lawyers so when they died I got all the money that was for Jacob, Sarah, Jessica and Ashley as well as the house, cars and everything else. When I moved I sold most of it and now I am what you could call loaded. I practically skip to my car while smiling as I rev the engine. I roll down my windows and blare Blink 182 before speeding down the road to the place where I will spend the next 3 years of my life, I hope.