Bulgaria had always been...diffrent. Diffrent in a bad way, he did not ask for the type of life he now owned. He never asked for his life to be saved by the Strawberry-Blond haired vampire that had saved him all those years ago.
He also did not mean to fall in love with said Vampire. It had been an accident, well he liked to tell himself that. But it was more like fate for the quiet brunnette. He loved the other with all of his heart, he would do 'anything' for Vladimir.
Wheater it was letting him have his blood. Needed a shoulder to cry on when the relationships turned bad or violent. You name it, the Bulgarian had always been there for the Romanian Vampire.
It broke his heart seeing the other with other countries, even people. All he ever wanted was for his feelings to be requainted. For him to belong somewhere.
He needed love, he missed and yearned for the suttle touches, the discreet kisses, and the pain and pleasure of being called 'someones' that was what he wanted.
Nothing more and nothing less. Only a place to belong and live as well as love, when Romania did kiss him, he would whisper how he was such a good Italian. He would whisper Lovino's name even as the two were passionatly kissing or embracing.
Nikolai always pretended and yearned for the time spent alone with the other. But he wanted to be himself...and not who Vladimir thought he was. Not Lovino with the perfect hair, not lovino with the olive green eyes. And certaintly Lovino who had left Vlad when he had found out what Vladimir really was.
It had broke the Bulgarian's heart seeing his friend wounded from the breakup. He was only his and yearned to be. But he guessed that Pretending was enough...for now