Downward Spiral

by CrimsonRaine87

Circumstances arise to create complications between Anders and Fenris, driving an even bigger wedge between them. Could the return of a woman from Anders's past and Fenris's encounter with a lovely tavern woman be the end for them? Sequel to The Best Kind. Mature content. 2/1/14: Now complete.

1. Chapter 1

The long-awaited sequel to The Best Kind!

Warning!: Guy on guy action again! So once again, if you're not into that you might wanna mosey along. Contains more mature content, assault, violence and lotsa drama. It's my second attempt at erotica, so bear with me if it's still newb level ^_^; I was a little reserved in the first story, but I tried to be more dirty in this one.

Some game facts and dialogue in the story may be a little off base or incorrect cause I'm just making some chit up. It's fiction after all, lol. Anyway, enjoy.

{*} = short passage of time or change of events in the same passage.

---

Downward Spiral

Anders's mind felt hazy as he walked through the door to his clinic. Perhaps he'd had too much to drink at the Hanged Man? He felt unsure for some reason. He was rubbing his temple when he came to a stop upon noticing a figure standing in front of the desk at the front of his clinic. Fenris was leaning on his hands and looking down at the desktop where Anders's manifesto sat. He seemed to be reading it intently and didn't notice Anders's return. Anders hesitated a moment, then began to casually approach Fenris.

"What are you doing, elf?" he asked. It's true Fenris came to the clinic pretty often over the past few months, but he'd never hang around in plain sight to wait for Anders. The elf preferred not to be seen.

Fenris turned his head to look at Anders and straightened himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. This caught my eye and I couldn't help taking a look. It's very deep, moving even. I can't deny you make some good points. I suppose I never thought of the injustices mages suffered, only the injustices they dealt."

Anders folded his arms and tilted his head a little, giving the elf a small smirk. "You don't say?" he asked with sarcasm. "I never would have guessed, you seem to like mages so much after all."

Fenris gave Anders a half-smile, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "I suppose I deserve that. I don't hide my dislike for mages, after all. But after being with you all this time and reading your words, I think..." He glanced to the side, an unsure expression on his face.

Anders unfolded his arms. "What?" he asked, starting to get an uneasy feeling.

Fenris looked back at Anders and moved closer; he suddenly caressed Anders's cheek, catching the mage off guard with the affectionate gesture. "I feel like my view on things is changing. I've hated mages for so long, but I never stopped to think about what they go through outside of Tevinter where they have no rights. I never stopped to think about what you go through. You're my lover, yet I never support you or your cause. You have been fighting alone for mages' rights all this time, and I have been giving you nothing but grief. I want to change things, for our sake..." He stroked Anders's cheek with his thumb.

Anders swallowed hard and blushed lightly as Fenris looked at him with those beautiful elven eyes. The elf held his cheek and leaned in kissing his lips softly. He put a hand on the mage's hip and pressed their bodies together. Anders felt light-headed as he returned the elf's kiss, wrapping his arms around Fenris's waist and held him tightly against his body. They started kissing passionately, panting softly and swirling their tongues together.

Fenris broke off the kiss and kissed along the side of Anders's neck up to his ear. "Do you want me?" he murmured, his voice changing to a more seductive tone.

"Yeah..." Anders said softly.

"Do you need me?" Fenris asked with that same seductive voice.

"Yes..." the mage responded.

"Then take me, and give yourself to me as well..." Fenris whispered in Anders's ear causing a shiver to run down his spine.

He rubbed his hands up the elf's tight stomach to his chest and whispered into his long pointed ear. "I will..."

Anders's hands suddenly began to crackle with electricity. "...take you out."

Lightening erupted from his hands and burst through Fenris's chest sending the elf flying back several feet screaming. He crashed onto the floor of the clinic on his back, a gaping hole in his chest crackling lightly with electricity.

Fenris grabbed his chest coughing up blood and gasped for breath looking up at Anders with wide eyes, a look of shock and betrayal on his face. "W-why...?"

The look on the elf's face made Anders pause, but he quickly composed himself, taking a few steps forward and folded his arms. "If you're going to impersonate someone, you should at least do a good job of it...demon."

The figure on the ground before Anders scowled in anger and flashed with a bright light as it began changing shape. After the light faded, a desire demon lay on the ground looking up at Anders in place of Fenris. She gripped the wound in her chest as it bled heavily. "So it wasn't enough..." she said in a hollow voice. "Perhaps I should have gathered more information before attempting my possession." She coughed again, blood running down from the corner of her lips.

Anders smirked. "I'm rather glad you didn't. Nice try attempting to disorient me, but I can usually tell when I'm in the Fade." He wasn't going to admit he didn't realize it at first, of course. "You're no good at impersonations, though. It takes more than looks and a half ass personality imitation. The elf isn't the affectionate type, nor would he be sympathetic toward mages. And he certainly wouldn't call me 'lover', as it implies romantic feelings. But more importantly, he was a slave and never received an education. He can't read."

Anders had found out about the elf's illiteracy by chance. Fenris had discovered a letter in his room and had to inquire about the contents because he couldn't read it himself. He admitted the fact reluctantly, seeming embarrassed. Fenris said it was only curiosity, but due to the feminine handwriting it was obviously from a woman, and the elf may have suspected that it was some sort of love letter. Anders told him it was a thank you letter from a grateful mother whose sick son he had healed. The elf's jealousy was kind of cute sometimes, somehow it made Anders feel wanted. Well, wanted in a different way than usual.

The desire demon gritted her teeth and scowled fiercely. "I was too hasty, I wanted to take you before it was too late."

Anders frowned, losing his smug expression and narrowed his eyes at her. "What are you talking about?" he asked, unfolding his arms.

The desire demon grinned weakly, adopting his lost smug look. "You know what I mean... The corrupted spirit that inhabits you, you're slowly losing yourself to him. He continues to grow stronger, becoming a greater part of you more and more as time passes. Your 'good deed' will be...your downfall..." She began struggling to breathe and lay back closing her eyes on the verge of death. "No one can save you, Grey Warden mage...you are...doomed..."

She exhaled her final breath and was gone. Her body began growing transparent until it disappeared, leaving only a pool of blood on the ground where she had been laying.

Anders hung his head and closed his eyes, no longer feeling triumphant. The demon had been right. Justice was growing to be a bigger part of him, and he himself was growing ever closer to his end as a Grey Warden with each passing year. If Justice didn't take over him first, he would reach his Calling. And then...

"No one can save me..." Anders murmured with a heavy heart, repeating the demon's words.

"She almost had you." A deep, menacing sounding voice said, seeming to appear from nowhere.

Anders sighed heavily. "Give me some credit, would you?" He turned to face the owner of the voice.

Justice stood looking at Anders with those sharp, glowing blue eyes, his arms folded and the usual look of anger on his face. He had Anders's own appearance with only slight differences. "If demons are trying to use that elf against you it means he's trouble."

Anders rubbed his forehead. "Not this again, Justice." he said in exasperation.

"It's true!" Justice's voice boomed. "This elf is a distraction, he will corrupt you! He will get in the way of your duty toward the mages you are to help!"

Anders was growing tired of this conversation, but there was no persuading the spirit. "It's just sex, I'm not going to change anything for him. So relax already."

"Is it?" Justice suddenly said, stepping closer to Anders. "Is it only meaningless sex, nothing more?"

Anders looked at Justice, his chest suddenly feeling tight. "O-of course. The elf and I...there's nothing there. We just do it for the enjoyment, not because there are any feelings between us." That's what he told himself at least, but sometimes the elf stirred up uncomfortable feelings in him.

And Anders didn't like it.

"I don't understand how you can carry out this act of depraved debauchery so shamelessly." Justice said with a disapproving tone.

"That's probably because you've never had sex." Anders muttered absentmindedly. He realized afterwards that it was an awkward comment to make to a virtuous spirit, and Justice frowned deeply with a look of discomfort.

"There were memories inside of Kristoph, of him and Aura when..." Justice cleared his throat and quickly changed the subject. "But spirits do not indulge in acts of mindless lust. Those are the actions of demons. I mustn't have interest in such a thing." His self-righteous tone had returned; the spirit really was a straight arrow.

Anders shook his head. "You're reading into it way too much, Justice. Sex is sex, it doesn't have to involve feelings for your partner. The elf and I aren't like Kristoph and his wife, it's just not the same."

Kristoph and Aura had loved each other deeply, but outside of sex Anders and Fenris were still rivals. They had opposing views and feelings that created animosity between them often, and it would take more than great sex to change that.

But the Fenris Anders shared moments of passion and ecstasy with was an almost different person, one that created conflicting feelings inside of Anders. He tried not to think about it though.

Justice narrowed his eyes. "Don't forget, Anders, I am you... We share one mind and body. Remember that." Without another word, Justice turned and started walking away, suddenly vanishing and leaving Anders standing alone in silence.

"You're wrong," Anders said softly, even though Justice wasn't there anymore. "I'm alone. That's how it must be. It's my fate..."

He didn't want to be there anymore, he wanted to wake up. Anders closed his eyes and willed himself awake, exiting the Fade.

---

Anders's eyes opened quickly and he took a deep breath through his nose then slowly exhaled and closed his eyes again. Why couldn't he have more pleasant dreams like he used to? Ever since he became a Grey Warden they were often dark and miserable. But that wasn't a Grey Warden dream. He put a hand over his eyes and lay in the still silence for a moment.

"How do you expect me to sleep if you keep tossing like that?" A sleepy voice grumbled.

Anders lifted his head and looked down at the head of white hair rested on his chest, the tip of a pointed, dark-skinned ear poking out through the soft strands. Anders laid his head back again, sighing quietly. "Sorry, just an unpleasant dream."

"You seem to have those often, mage." Fenris murmured.

Anders picked his head up again quickly. "What? How do you know that?"

Fenris shrugged lightly. "You get restless, and you talk in your sleep sometimes. You speak of dark things... Something about calling, the Deep Roads, darkspawn and archdemons, and something about an architect."

Anders sat up abruptly making Fenris sit up as well. "What do you know about the Architect?" he asked with a hard tone in his voice.

Fenris looked at him startled. "Nothing, you don't say much. I mean, other than wanting him to stop, as if they're doing something to you, but you don't really say what is." He hesitated a moment, then asked cautiously, "Who is this person?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Anders answered quickly, looking away. He really didn't want to talk about the horrible experience, but there was also the matter that it was Grey Warden business. The truth was they wanted to keep the identity of the Architect a secret from anyone outside of their order, and it was probably for the best. Though Anders was no longer with them, he respected their wishes in that matter. He still remembered the first encounter with the Architect; he had captured him, the Warden Commander, and a couple of other comrades and made them prisoners. He experimented on them, used them, took their blood. Anders still had nightmares about the painful experience. He cringed at the thought of what their fate would have been had Velanna's sister, Seranni, not help them escape.

Anders tossed the blanket aside and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, turning his back on the elf and signifying that the conversation was over. He bent over and picked up his pants off the floor where he had dropped them the night before. As he was putting them on, he tried changing the subject. "I need to get going, I have things to do." He put on his boots then stood pulling his pants up and grabbed his shirt.

Fenris started dressing as well, pulling his pants on and picked up his top. "More 'mage revolution' stuff?" he asked with a grin, not needing to see the mage's face to know he annoyed him.

Anders turned around, putting his coat on. "Would you quit saying it like that, you damn elf!" he snapped.

Fenris chuckled lightly, attaching his gauntlets. He got amusement out of teasing the mage. "You're almost cute when you're annoyed, mage."

Anders walked to the door and opened it. "Sometimes I think you're not cute at all, you bothersome bastard." he muttered. He heard another amused chuckle from the elf as he lifted the board that hid his bedroom door and walked out with Fenris close behind him. When they neared the desk at the front of the clinic Fenris came to a halt.

"What's this?" he asked curiously.

Anders turned to see Fenris looking at his manifesto. He felt an unsettling sense of déjà vu. The image of dream Fenris flashed in his mind, a bloody mess with a look of pain and betrayal on his face. The dream seemed to have a bigger effect on him than he thought. He shook off the feeling, reminding himself that it wasn't real.

Anders gave the elf a wry smile to conceal his feelings. "I'm writing an adventure novel about a brave and handsome mage who fights for justice and has an annoying, horny elf for a sidekick." He had no intention of telling the elf the true contents of his writings, he'd surely receive some criticism for his beliefs and he wasn't in the mood for another argument.

"Hmmph, brave and handsome mage, huh? Certainly sounds like fiction to me." Fenris said with a smirk.

Anders should have expected that. He frowned in irritation. "I was just getting to the elf's death scene where the mage sets him on fire after the elf annoys him one too many times."

Fenris grabbed Anders's arm and pulled him aside, pushing him up against the desk and pressed his body against the mage's. "Like you'd kill me, mage. What would you do without me?" he murmured with a grin. He kissed Anders's neck and sucked on it lightly, drawing a small groan from the mage.

Anders tilted his head as Fenris's lips caressed his sensitive spot. "Mm...probably get some peace for a change..." he muttered. They had sex frequently, almost everyday. The elf's sex drive was active, but Anders couldn't complain, and he couldn't deny that the sex was great.

Fenris held Anders's waist and pressed their hips together, rubbing up against him. He moved his lips to Anders's and kissed him deeply, slipping his tongue into the mage's mouth. The two men made soft groans and pants in their hot, sensual kiss, pressing and rubbing their hardening groins together. Fenris thrust his hips against the mage's more, and their sounds of ecstasy began to grow.

Anders suddenly pulled out of the kiss and tried to catch his breath. "Wait, this isn't a good place to do this."

Fenris grinned mischievously. "That's what you said about that alley in Lowtown, but you seemed to enjoy it just fine."

Anders frowned. "Yeah, and I'm pretty sure we traumatized Aveline's guards woman."

Fenris shrugged casually. "It'll teach her to stick her nose where it doesn't belong."

"Because investigating strange noises isn't part of her job." Anders replied sarcastically.

Fenris chuckled lightly, taking hold of Anders's cheek and spoke into the mage's ear, his lips brushing against the skin. "But it made you more excited, didn't it?" he asked in a low, sexy voice. "Getting caught in the act like that. Being seen bent over and getting rammed from behind..."

Anders swallowed hard and turned his head, trying to hide his reddening face. "D-don't be an idiot, elf. It was embarrassing!"

Fenris chuckled and turned the Anders's face back to him. "Admit it, you're just a slutty, kinky little mage. But I wouldn't have you any other way..." He leaned in to kiss Anders again, then suddenly froze in place.

"What?" Anders asked.

There was sudden stomping on the wooden steps outside the clinic that Fenris had obviously heard coming with his elven ears. He jerked away from Anders quickly just before the door to the clinic swung open and three men ran in panting in exertion. They wore the robes of mages, but were obviously not from the Circle.

"Anders, we have a problem!" one of them said in a panic.

Anders pushed off the desk looking at the three men startled. "Calm down, what's wrong?" he asked, grateful that he wore baggy pants and a coat so hopefully none of them would notice his raging erection.

One of the others looked like he was about to say something but halted when he saw Fenris. He was partially sitting on the edge of the desk with one leg crossed over the other, trying to hide his own hard member. He had a displeased look on his face; the elf didn't like being interrupted.

The young mage seemed reluctant to say anything in front of a stranger, especially one with such a scary expression on his face. Anders glanced at Fenris then back to the other mages. "Don't worry, he's just..." Anders hesitated, realizing he wasn't sure how to introduce the elf. "Uh, he's...an acquaintance. Another one of Hawke's companions."

Fenris frowned and looked at him arching an eyebrow, seeming critical of the weak excuse for an introduction. Anders cleared his throat, trying to ignore him, then motioned the other mages to the back of the clinic. He knew it wouldn't matter if they put some distance between them and the elf, though. Fenris had great hearing after all, and would most likely be able to hear them even in the back. But it would probably make the others feel better to get further away from him before discussing the situation.

Fenris turned and stood with his back to the other men, feigning interest in the papers on Anders's desk so it seemed like he wasn't paying attention. He felt some dissatisfaction with the mage's introduction of him, though he wasn't sure what else he could have said. They weren't friends really, and lovers sounded too romantic for their situation. The title was normally used for couples who had feelings for each other, and they were simply screwing around for fun. He supposed the mage didn't want to use the term 'sex partner' either. Perhaps 'acquaintance' was sufficient after all.

Despite coming to that conclusion, the term 'lovers' drifted back into Fenris's mind. A curious thought, but he quickly tried to suppress it and focus on listening in on the mages' conversation.

"Ok, what's going on?" Anders asked once they were near the back of the clinic. The look of distress on the others' faces was causing nervous knots in his stomach.

"It's Lenora," the youngest mage of the group said. "they're going to make her Tranquil!"

Anders's eyes widened, he felt the color drain from his face. "What? They can't do that! She passed her Harrowing back when we were kids in Ferelden. They have no right to make her Tranquil!"

"But that was when we were in the Ferelden Circle." the young mage said. "Things are different in this Maker forsaken Void. Ser Alrik is more vigilant than any templar over there, and determined to make us all into drooling, empty shells."

Anders tightened his hands into fists and scowled angrily, the lost color in his face returning as red. "Alrik..." he growled through clenched teeth. "That was the bastard who made Karl Tranquil." He would never forget what had been done to his friend and one time lover. Even after all these years the pain hadn't subsided, and it probably never would. He was forced to kill someone dear to him in order to free them from the misery of being a Tranquil; a fate often considered worse than death to mages. If Anders had just reached him sooner...

Anders pushed the memory aside and tried to focus on the current situation. "How did this happen? What did she do that could have caught anyone's attention? She's a good mage, she's never done anything wrong."

The young mage hung his head, trembling lightly with anger. "That paranoid bitch, Meredith, she had the tower mages' belongings searched unexpectedly the other day to look for evidence of any 'wrongdoing' or 'conspiracy'. They found Lenora's love letters..."

Anders became tense with anger. "That's it? Love letters?" he asked in disbelief. "Because she loves someone she has to be made Tranquil and void of all feeling and emotion? Isn't it enough that our freedom and rights are taken from us? They would also take away our right to have feelings for someone else as well?! We can't live free lives, we can't get married and have families, and we can't have feelings for someone. It's bullshit!"

The young mage shook his head. "Those bastards think if a Circle mage has feelings for someone outside the tower they'll try to escape to be with them, and if they were desperate enough they'd even turn to blood magic to do so."

Anders scowled in resentment. "Are they really so ignorant? Those fools are just looking for any excuse they can find! They would deny mages every comfort they could get to make the Circle the least bit bearable. Lenora doesn't deserve to be punished for simply looking for some consolation provided by those letters!"

Fenris turned his head to look over his shoulder at that point and glanced at the group out of the corner of his eye. Anders was getting more and more worked up over this woman by the second. Why was the mage so upset about her being punished for being in love? And who was she exchanging love letters with? He looked back down at the papers on the desk in front of him and recalled the time he saw a letter in Anders's room that had obviously been written by a woman. The mage said it was from a mother whose son he had helped, meaning it was someone who was already married with a family, but Fenris had no way of knowing if that were true. After all, he couldn't read it himself to verify.

Fenris tensed his fingers on the desk, causing the tips of his gauntlets to dig into the faded wood. Why should he even care? What did it matter to him? He and the mage didn't mean anything to each other, there was nothing between them. It was simply meaningless sex, mindless passion and nothing more. So why should it bother him if there might be someone the mage actually had feelings for? But if that were the situation, what did it mean for him? Fenris was starting to feel ill for some reason, but continued listening in on the conversation.

"What do we do?" one of the other mages asked. "We can't just let this happen to her!"

Anders folded his arms, a grim expression on his face. "Isn't it obvious? We're getting her out of there. We're going to help her escape by any means necessary."

Fenris's body became tense, his eyes widened. Was he serious? Was he really going to try and break a mage out of the Circle?

"Our inside informant said we have less than a week before they brand her." the third mage said. "We have to figure something out, and fast."

Anders nodded in agreement. "Go get the others together, I'll catch up to you guys in a bit."

The others nodded and started to leave as Anders headed for his room. Fenris turned to watch them as the group started to pass by. One glanced at him, seeming to look below the belt as if checking for something, then quickly looked forward again. Fenris noticed and groaned inwardly. Perhaps he hadn't concealed his erection well enough after all.

The mage who had looked at him whispered to the younger one, probably thinking Fenris couldn't hear, "Hey, Andru, is Anders, uh...you know? I thought he liked women..."

The young mage, obviously named Andru, looked at him. "What? Oh. Um, he isn't, not really. Sex is sex, you know? We are from the Ferelden Circle, remember?"

"Ohh..." the other two said in unison, as if that explained everything.

Fenris shook his head in disbelief. Was the Ferelden Circle really that famous for its debauchery? A Circle tower full of horny, perverted mages? If Anders was any indication, then it might not be so farfetched.

The men left the clinic closing the door behind them and Fenris was glad for their departure. At the sound of Anders's bedroom door opening he looked over to the see the mage walking out with his staff at his back. Anders didn't even look at him as he started to walk by. "Might as well go home, elf. I have business to attend to."

Fenris grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. "You're not seriously going to break a mage out of the Circle, are you? It's insane!"

Anders glared at Fenris and yanked his arm away. "I won't leave her there, they have no right to turn her into some emotionless drone! Alrik is going too far, he won't have his way again! He already took Karl from me, I'll be damned if he takes Lenora too!"

Fenris remembered the mage, Karl. He remembered Anders killing him at the other man's desperate plea made during a brief moment of freedom from the Tranquil state. Fenris never thought about how painful it must have been for Anders until now. The mage must not want to go through that again.

"Who is Lenora?" Fenris finally asked, giving in to his nagging curiosity.

Anders's angered glare slowly transitioned into a sad look of nostalgia. "She's someone important to me; we were in the Ferelden Circle together. I looked out for her when she first came to the tower as a kid. She was a frightened, mistreated young girl who hadn't known kindness since her parents found out she was a mage. They treated her awfully and neglected her, keeping her at home instead of turning her in to the Circle for Maker knows whatever reason. If a neighbor hadn't reported her to the templars..."

Anders sighed, shaking his head. "I took it upon myself to take care of her and protect her, seeing as how we had similar beginnings. We became close, and I always regretted leaving her behind after I got out. Karl too. I knew he'd take care of her in my place, but it wasn't enough to ease my conscience. Now she's alone, and about to suffer the same fate as Karl. I failed to save him, but I won't fail this time..." His voice trembled slightly as he spoke.

Fenris felt a strange discomfort at the mage's words, at his adoration for this woman, but brushed it aside. "It's suicidal, mage. All these foolish things you do with this mage underground is bound to get you killed. Are you really willing to take that chance?"

Anders looked at the elf angrily again, a hint of conviction in his eyes. "If I can do any good for these mistreated, persecuted mages I would gladly die for it!"

"You really are an idiot!" Fenris shouted. "You can't tell when someone is a blood mage, they look just like everyone else! Only they pose a greater threat than anyone! Are you willing to risk releasing a blood mage? And what about your comrades? What if they're blood mages trying to break their brethren out?"

Anders took a step forward, glaring at Fenris, but the elf stood his ground. "I trust the mages I associate with." he said sternly. "All they want is to live their lives freely and have the same rights as everyone else! If they can just have that, then mages wouldn't need blood magic! There are just as many dangerous people out there who aren't mages, if not more! So why are mages the ones targeted even if they've done nothing wrong? Plenty of people kill without using magic. Look at you, for example. You kill people yourself without needing some demon to make you do it. What's your excuse?"

That struck a chord, and what truly angered Fenris about it was that the mage didn't even think about the reason. He clenched his fists, the sharp points of his gauntlets threatening to pierce the skin of his palms. "I am fighting to protect myself, to save myself from Danarius! If I don't kill those damn slave hunters they would capture me and bring me back to him! What else am I supposed to do!?"

Anders folded his arms giving the elf an incredulous look. "Is that so? Well, what about being a mercenary for a living? The people you kill aren't trying to capture you."

Fenris looked away, a hint of shame on his face. "I...know nothing else. I have no memories of my past, so all I've known is what I was made to do as Danarius's slave and bodyguard. Fighting and killing are the only skills I have."

Anders slowly unfolded his arms, his expression softening. Now he felt like an ass. Perhaps he was as harsh on Fenris as the elf was on mages. They really couldn't understand each other it seemed. If they could, then maybe they wouldn't fight as much as they did. Maybe they wouldn't have hated each other for years. Maybe they could even...

Anders shook his head, pushing the thought aside. He looked at Fenris, his anger subsiding. "And all I've known is unfair treatment and persecution that I don't deserve. All I want is to do what I can for mages with what time I have left to live."

At the look of surprise and confusion on the elf's face at that last part, Anders realized he probably shouldn't have let that slip.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Fenris asked.

Anders looked down and turned away from the elf, walking forward a few steps. He folded his arms and held his chin as if contemplating something. After a moment, he turned back and walked up to the elf again, unfolding his arms. "Do you know how a Grey Warden becomes a Grey Warden?" he suddenly asked.

Fenris was caught off guard by the strange question. "Not really, no." he answered, unsure of what the question had to do with anything.

"They drink darkspawn blood and take the taint into themselves."

Fenris's eyes widened, he felt his stomach turn. "That...that's madness! Drinking darkspawn blood is suicide! It's no different from poison!"

"Not if they can survive it." Anders responded. "Surviving the Joining means becoming immune to the darkspawn's corruption; that's why Grey Wardens are the best at fighting them. But the immunity doesn't last forever. Eventually, the taint becomes too much for their bodies to handle. Eventually, it will kill the warden..."

Fenris stared at Anders in shock, unsure of what to say. He had never thought about what the price was for becoming a Grey Warden. It seemed the price was death. It was no wonder why the details of the order were kept secret. And the mage had just shared with him possibly the greatest one.

Anders turned to lean against the desk looking down, he didn't want to look at Fenris's face. If the elf showed any sign that he was unconcerned or uncaring of his plight, Anders felt it might actually hurt. He gripped the edge of the desk tightly, staring at the ground. "There comes a time in every Grey Warden's life when he reaches something known as the 'Calling'. They have terrible nightmares about darkspawn and the Deep Roads, worse than any other time in their life as a Grey Warden. That means their time has come. When that happens they go to Orzamar, to the Deep Roads, where they continue fighting darkspawn until they fall in battle. If they don't die, they eventually succumb to darkspawn corruption. They're barely even people anymore." he said softly.

Anders closed his eyes. "That is my fate as a Grey Warden, and if I'm lucky I have a little more than 20 years left at most. I want to spend what time I have left helping others instead of living selfishly. Justice was the one who convinced me it was the right thing to do. When I really started to think about it, I realized he was right. That's why I've taken on this mission. It's the only reason I have to live in this life that is doomed to end so miserably." It made Anders's heart ache to talk about his fate. He tried not to think about the future as best he could.

"Is that why you think no one can save you?" Fenris suddenly asked.

Anders turned to face the elf in surprise. "What? How do you-?"

"I told you, you talk in your sleep." Fenris responded. "I didn't understand what you meant by that, I thought it was just part of your bad dream, but I think I understand now." Actually, all of the things the mage talked about in his sleep made sense now. To his surprise, Fenris actually felt bad for Anders. He had no future to look forward to; his fate wasn't entirely uncertain, and it was a bleak one indeed. It almost made Fenris feel remorseful for some reason.

Fenris cleared his throat lightly, feeling awkward. "I'm...sorry to hear what you're going through. It really is an unfortunate fate. I don't think you deserve it."

At the look of somewhat amused surprise on Anders's face, Fenris grew agitated. "W-what? Don't give me that look! I'm not heartless, mage. I can feel sympathy too, you know!"

Anders give the elf a small smile, though it almost looked sad. "Even for someone you hate?"

Fenris glanced to the side, feeling a strange discomfort in his chest at that question. "Give me some credit, mage. I wouldn't wish that sort of fate on you simply because we're rivals." he muttered.

Fenris didn't like the awkward feeling in the atmosphere, it was becoming too uncomfortable. Wanting to change things, he suddenly moved closer to Anders taking hold of the back of his head and brought their faces closer together. "But if there's anything I don't hate about you, it's definitely the hot sex." He kissed Anders deeply, taking hold of the mage's hip then slid his hand behind him to grab his ass and gave it a little squeeze.

Anders groaned softly in the kiss pushing his hips against Fenris's. He gripped the elf's back, ignoring the sharp jab of his armor against his chest as they pressed their bodies together harder. They began making out more passionately, their arousal growing greater by the second.

Anders quickly broke out of the kiss and pushed Fenris away shaking his head. "No, stop." he panted softly.

Fenris frowned in disappointment. It had been more of a maneuver to try and change the subject, but maybe it was a bit too selfish. He had no idea how to be comforting, and it was difficult to be genuinely affectionate when he was unsure of how to do so. It was an awkward situation for a mistreated ex slave who had never been treated kindly.

"I have to go, they're waiting for me." Anders murmured, looking away from Fenris. Having nothing else to say, he turned and quickly walked to the clinic door. Anders grabbed the handle then hesitated. "Actually," he said quietly, not opening the door yet. "I'm not going to have time for this anymore. I think we should stop."

Fenris's jaw nearly dropped. "What?" he asked in disbelief.

Anders wouldn't face the elf, he felt he might lose his nerve if he did. "We had fun, but it was bound to end eventually. Don't worry, elf, you're pretty handsome, so you won't have any problem finding a new partner to satisfy that overly active sex drive of yours." Anders turned his head to glance over his shoulder with a little smirk, concealing his true feelings. "I'm sure Isabela would be happy to oblige."

Fenris frowned, not amused by the mage's joke. "You're mad if you think I'd stoop to that whore, mage."

Anders shrugged. "Well, like I said, you'll find someone easily I'm sure." He turned away again and opened the door. "Later, elf."

Without giving Fenris a chance to respond or object, Anders left and closed the door behind him. The elf stood alone feeling a mixture of surprise, frustration and confusion. Was the mage actually serious? Did he think to end things so easily? For months they had been in this physical relationship, spending more time together now than they had in the past three years combined. Now he was calling it off just like that? And the mage's sex drive was just as active as his own. He had some nerve implying Fenris was the only one.

But when he stopped to think about it, Fenris realized he came to Anders's place more than Anders went to his, and most of the time Fenris was the one to initiate the sex. He got a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, had the mage simply been obliging him all this time?

Fenris stared at the ground feeling anger overtake all other emotions. He didn't need a partner who was simply humoring him, he didn't need that annoying mage at all. He was perfectly capable of finding a much more suitable partner. After all, there were plenty of women he could bed, if he so desired. Fenris was well aware of his handsome appearance, and well aware of the number of women who had their eyes on him. All he had to do was find one that caught his interest.

Except no woman ever really caught Fenris's attention before. The mage had been the first and only person he ever desired since they first started having sex. He'd never even had an interest in sex before the first night they spent together, and now he desired it often.

Or was it Anders he desired?

Fenris sighed in exasperation, putting a hand over his face. He shook his head, feeling like he needed a drink. He wanted to be numb again. Perhaps he'd do it in the comfort of his own home, just to be safe.

Fenris walked to the door and swung it open, exiting the clinic without even bothering to shut it behind him. He left Darktown, heading for Hightown and his large, empty, lonely mansion.

---

It had been a few days since Fenris came around the clinic, and Anders had been too busy to go to the tavern where the group gathered to hang out. He hadn't seen Fenris at all in almost a week. Anders felt a little surprised the elf had actually listened to him about not coming anymore. Normally he'd pay no mind to anything the mage said; he seemed to be the one in charge in the relationship. Maybe Fenris didn't really care about ending things after all. Maybe the sexual relationship between them didn't matter to him as much as Anders had thought. Maybe he didn't matter to him. But if that were the case, why did Fenris get jealous over him at times? Perhaps Anders read into it too much. Maybe the elf saw him only as a possession, a toy he didn't want anyone else to play with. For some reason, Anders was both angered and saddened by the thought. Did he want to mean something more to Fenris?

No, that couldn't be. It was a foolish thought, and he didn't have time for such foolishness.

Anders sat at his desk working on his manifesto again. Ever since the dream with the desire demon he'd felt uncomfortable with it. The demon had known its contents, learned about it to use it in her attempt to deceive him, and Anders didn't like it. It felt unclean somehow, so he spent what free time he had rewriting it. It was pretty much the same message though, just worded differently with a few new additions.

While he was working, the door to the clinic opened. Anders finished the sentence he'd been writing then looked over to see who had entered. He stood quickly in surprise, nearly knocking over the chair he'd been sitting in.

Fenris stood in the doorway, but it wasn't the elf's presence that surprised Anders, it was his appearance. He had blood splattered on his clothes, though it obviously wasn't his, and his right thigh was poorly bandaged with a torn cloth. A large bloodstain was spread out on the front where the wound bled through. He had a slight limp as he walked in. "Little help here, mage?" he asked, trying to conceal the obvious pain he felt when he walked on his injured leg.

"What happened?" Anders asked, assisting the elf to a table where he had him sit so he could examine his thigh.

Fenris sat on the edge of the table with his legs hanging over the side while Anders began undoing his poor attempt at dressing the wound. "Bandits. I ran into a group on my way back from the Dalish camp. I didn't see the archer and got hit."

"What were you doing at the Dalish camp?" Anders asked, tearing Fenris's pants and widening the hole the arrow had caused so he could get a better look. It was caked in dried blood now and needed cleaning.

"I was running an errand for Varric. He ordered some special bolts for his crossbow from that craftsman and someone needed to go get them. Seeing as how I would have made better time walking there than the dwarf, I went for him." Fenris leaned back on his hands watching the mage as he went to work. Anders grabbed some material from a kit by the table and began cleaning the wound. Fenris winced at the sting from the cleaning solution, sucking air sharply through his teeth and making a hissing noise. When Anders puckered his lips to blow on the wound and soothe the burning, Fenris felt a small tingle of desire to feel the mage's lips comforting a different area of his body. He glanced aside and suppressed the feeling quickly, lest the urge he felt in his groin become obvious.

"I can't believe you were actually caught off-guard, elf. I expected better from you." Anders said with a playfully mocking tone. He finished cleaning the wound; the heavy bleeding was mostly over now.

Fenris shrugged. "He was concealed in a tree, and I was too distracted by the other three attacking me to notice him. Fortunately, though, I didn't have to worry about him after the first shot; the fool lost his balance and fell off the branch he'd been standing on. Broke his neck when he hit the ground."

Anders chuckled lightly. "You got lucky, elf. Unfortunately you weren't so lucky in removing the arrow." Now that the wound was clean, Anders was able to examine it more clearly. In Fenris's attempt to yank the arrow out, a part of it had broken off and was still embedded in his thigh. Anders looked at the wound with an expression of contemplation on his face. He started murmuring to himself, as if thinking out loud. "It's lodged about two or three inches below the surface, so if I numb the area then make an incision here to widen the opening, I could probably extract it using-"

"That will take forever, just let me do it." Fenris said impatiently. Anders blinked, looking back up at him in confusion. Without warning, Fenris's lyrium markings suddenly began glowing with a bright blue light. He slowly phased his fingers through his flesh and into his thigh. Using his thumb and forefinger to grip the broken shaft of the arrow, Fenris slowly pulled it out, gritting his teeth and letting out a grunt of pain. He yanked the blood soaked arrowhead from his thigh as the blue light faded and his hand became solid again.

"See? Easy." he said casually, tossing the broken piece aside. Despite his cool demeanor, his voice had a hint of pain in it.

"Well, that's one way of doing it." Anders remarked. "I'll finish it then." He put his hand over Fenris's wound and a ball of white blue light began glowing in the palm of his hand. Before he could apply the healing power to the injury, Fenris suddenly grabbed his wrist, catching the mage by surprise.

"Wait." the elf ordered.

Anders lost his concentration and the ball of light disappeared. "What?" he asked startled.

Fenris looked at Anders with a grim expression on his face, his hand still gripping the mage's wrist. "Treat it normally." he said sternly.

Anders looked at him in disbelief. "You're joking, it's just healing magic! You can't seriously-"

"I said no magic, mage." Fenris almost sounded angry now.

Anders narrowed his eyes. "Why did you come see me if you don't want me to heal you?"

Fenris stared at Anders for a moment in silence, then looked away with a frown. "I just...don't know anyone else who has any medical skill. That's all. I wouldn't be here otherwise."

Anders's expression softened as he looked at the elf's profile. That response didn't seem entirely true. Or that wasn't the only reason he came to his clinic, but Fenris wasn't good at being honest about his feelings. Anders let out a sigh then nodded. "Alright, but it's going to take longer to heal, and the pain will last longer as well."

Fenris released Anders's wrist. "I'll manage." he said bluntly.

Anders shook his head and took bandages out of his kit then began wrapping Fenris's wound. "You're really stubborn, elf. You're going to have to remember to take care of this or else it could get infected."

Just as Anders finished bandaging Fenris's leg, the elf grabbed the front of his coat and pulled him forward bringing his lips close to the mage's ear. "Perhaps I'll need a nurse to take care of me..." he murmured with a grin.

Anders swallowed hard, feeling Fenris's warm breath on his ear. He suppressed the shudder of excitement that deep, seductive voice caused. "Uh, I..."

Fenris suddenly wrapped his legs around Anders's waist and pulled the mage against him. He gripped a handful of sandy blonde hair and planted a deep, firm kiss on the mage's lips.

Anders was caught off guard by the elf's sudden action and became caught up in the kiss for a moment, the feel of those familiar lips igniting his desire. He felt the elf's tongue probe his lips and slip into his mouth brushing over his own tongue.

Suddenly, for the third time, Anders grabbed Fenris's shoulders and pulled back. "Wait, we can't."

Fenris frowned in frustration at being rejected yet again. "What now? Don't tell me you really planned on stopping our romps in the sheets, mage. Is it the location again? We'll just go in your room then."

Anders stepped back, making Fenris let go of him. "No, we can't go in there right now." There was a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Fenris slid himself off the table folding his arms and raised an eyebrow. "What, you have something to hide, mage? Don't tell me you've got yourself a woman in there or something."

Anders scratched the back of his head, glancing aside. "Uh, actually I-"

The sound of a door opening interrupted him and both men turned to look at the back of the clinic where Anders's room was. The board moved aside and Fenris's eyes widened slightly when a young woman stepped out, rubbing her eye sleepily. She looked as though she had just woken up.

She had a slightly dark complexion, a little lighter than Fenris's, with dark, wavy brown hair that hung to her mid back and big brown eyes. She looked a little younger than Anders, mid 20's or so, and was kind of short. But most noticeable to Fenris was that she wore the robe of a mage.

"I thought I heard voices." she said with a yawn.

Anders moved past Fenris and approached her. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. How are you feeling?"

She brushed some of her dark hair back from her face. "I'm ok. I don't think I've slept so well since I was little."

Anders chuckled lightly. "Well, you were pretty exhausted. I guess last night got a little rough. Sorry about that."

The woman shook her head smiling. "No, it's ok. My bum kind of hurts, though."

The two laughed and Fenris simply stared. He felt a lump form in his throat that he couldn't seem to swallow down. The mage had actually found a new partner already. Or maybe he'd had her all along but was simply separated from her. And now that they were reunited, he didn't need Fenris anymore. This woman could only be one person.

Fenris cleared his throat, directing Anders's and the woman's attention back to him.

"Oh, right." Anders said, as though he'd actually forgotten about the elf. He walked the woman over to where Fenris was standing. "This is Fenris, he's another one of Hawke's comrades."

Fenris's fingers curled slowly, turning his hands into fists. It was an introduction worse than the first one he'd used. Worst of all, the mage seemed oblivious to the offense it caused him.

The young woman had to look up to meet Fenris's eyes due to their difference in height. Upon seeing her up close he had to admit she was lovely, but her looks couldn't distract him from his feelings of displeasure.

Anders put a hand on her shoulder. "And this is Lenora."

"I suspected as much." Fenris stated. His voice came out a little harsher than he meant.

There was a brief look of surprise in her eyes before she quickly smiled up at him. "I didn't know I was famous." Her voice had a hint of nervousness in it.

Fenris folded his arms. "A Circle mage breaking out of the Gallows would make anyone famous."

The nervousness she had tried to conceal surfaced and she glanced down wringing her hands anxiously. "I-I hadn't planned on it, really. Even when Karl told me about the plan to get out with Anders's help I declined. Of course I would have liked to, things are...difficult in the Circle. But I was too scared, so I decided to stay. The letters I received always helped give me some comfort, but those same letters were going to doom me to a life of Tranquility. It wasn't fair! I was going to be punished just because I was in love with someone. And worse yet Karl was gone. Having him with me like in the Ferelden Circle helped put me at ease because I had someone close to rely on. But then he...he..." She sniffled, tears forming in her eyes as her small body began to tremble. "I didn't want to end up like him! I didn't want to be Tranquil! I'd rather..."

Anders took her by the shoulders and turned her to him, looking down into her eyes. "You don't have to worry about that anymore, Lenora. You're safe now, ok? My clinic is the safest place for you for the time being, it's a good place to hide. I'll look out for you, just like I did in the Ferelden Circle. So don't worry anymore, ok?" He smiled warmly at her, resting his hand on her head and stroked it gently.

The sadness and nervousness in Lenora's eyes seemed to melt away at the mage's words. She nodded, wiping her eyes and her smile returned. "Thanks, Anders." She hugged him tightly with her head rested on his chest.

Fenris felt an unexplainable pang in his chest when he looked at the two being affectionate, but he wasn't sure if it was jealousy or envy. Being a slave, he was never shown kindness or any kind of affection like the two of them shared. The closest he ever got to affection in his current life was the after sex 'cuddling' with the mage, and he mostly slept through that part. The sex was pretty exhausting, after all. But now that this girl was here, there would be no more of that.

Fenris cleared his throat again, and for the second time was looked at as if his presence had been forgotten. "You know it's madness to harbor an escaped mage, right? They templars will be looking for her."

Anders turned to him folding his arms with a frown, the look of kindness disappearing from his face. "And they won't find her here." he responded, sounding sure of himself. "As long as everyone keeps their mouths shut, that is." he added pointedly.

The look in the mage's eyes implied that the person he was probably referring to was Fenris himself, and the elf felt anger at the unspoken accusation. Anders's past treatment and feelings towards the elf were beginning to filter through.

"If you've got something to say to me, mage, then say it." Fenris said sternly.

Anders shrugged his shoulders casually. "All I'm saying is you're the only one besides the underground who knows she's here, and none of them would say anything. If the templars showed up on my doorstep looking to take her back..."

Fenris clenched his fists in anger. "You think me some sort of snitch, mage?" he asked with a scowl.

Lenora looked between the two men worriedly. She took hold of Anders's sleeve and gave it a light tug. "A-Anders, you shouldn't accuse him like that. Why would he betray you? You're friends, right?"

Anders didn't take his eyes off Fenris. "I can't exactly say that, no. We're associated through mutual friends."

Fenris felt another pang in his chest.

Lenora's eyes flickered to Fenris then back to Anders. "But it's still unfair to him. Maybe you should have a little more faith."

Fenris couldn't help feeling irritated that the mage needed to be told by a complete stranger to trust him. For some reason, it almost hurt that he was being suspected in the first place.

Anders let out a soft sigh. "Maybe...but we have to be careful. After all, he hates mages."

Lenora looked back at Fenris with big eyes and took a step behind Anders looking almost frightened, possibly remembering the cruel treatment she received from her mage hating parents. It did nothing to help Fenris's growing anger, but his anger wasn't toward her.

Fenris's hand shot out and grabbed the front of Anders's coat, but the mage didn't so much as flinch. "Quit making me out to be a villain, mage!" he growled. "I have no reason to turn the girl in, so don't throw accusations around so carelessly!"

The tension in the air was growing, and Lenora fidgeted nervously. She gulped lightly, then tugged on Anders's coat again. "See? He said he won't say anything, so please, don't fight. Just give Fenris a chance." she pleaded. Lenora seemed to believe in Fenris more than Anders himself. And it infuriated him.

"I'm not cruel, mage." Fenris continued. "Besides, if you were caught harboring an escaped mage you'd be executed!"

Anders looked startled and Fenris nearly bit his tongue for letting that slip. His anger lessened and he released his grip on the mage's coat. The way he looked at Fenris was as if he was actually surprised that the elf didn't want him to be killed, and for some reason Fenris felt more annoyed by that than the accusation. In the past, he really wouldn't have cared. But now...

Fenris glanced aside, not wanting to see that expression anymore. "Don't get me wrong, I simply do not wish to cause Hawke any grief." he stated. "He likes you, for some reason, and I'd probably never hear the end of it if I got you killed."

Anders stared at Fenris for a moment with a scrutinizing look. "Right, of course." he said quietly. He hardly sounded convinced by the excuse, but he didn't pursue the matter.

An awkward moment of silence followed; no one knew what to say next. A loud grumbling sound suddenly cut through the tense atmosphere and the two men looked at Lenora. She quickly grabbed her stomach, her face turning red with embarrassment. "I...guess I'm a little hungry. I haven't eaten since supper last night." she laughed nervously.

Anders's smile returned. "Let's get you something to eat then. Now that you're up, I'm sure Andru and the others will want to see you."

Fenris took that as his cue to go, there was no reason for him to be there anymore. He turned away and began to limp out, silently cursing the pain from his wound that prevented him from moving faster.

"Wait, elf."

Fenris turned back at the sound of Anders's voice. The mage trotted up to him and held out a small jar. "Here, it's a balm for your wound. Since you won't just let me heal you at least use something to help yourself."

Fenris glanced down at the jar then back up at Anders. He was about to reject the mage's offer, but thought otherwise. He'd probably get a lecture or something if he said no. He slowly took the jar and noticed Anders seemed a little relieved. He'd probably been expecting some sort of resistance from the elf.

Fenris placed the jar in one of the pouches on his belt. "Fine, if it will keep you from nagging."

Anders folded his arms. "And be sure to actually take care of your wound. If you come back here with an infection I'll just amputate your leg."

Fenris snorted. "Hmmph, cut off my leg, mage, and I'll really shove my foot up your ass."

Lenora, having obviously heard the joke from where she was standing, grabbed her mouth trying to stifle her giggles, unsuccessfully. Anders turned his head to look over his shoulder at her and Fenris took the chance to lean in close to his ear and whispered, "Not that you aren't used to me shoving something up your ass..." He made sure to keep his face concealed from Lenora as he spoke, and gave the mage's earlobe and playful bite.

Anders's head whipped back to Fenris, his face turning red. He suddenly grabbed the elf's arm and started dragging him out of the clinic quickly. "E-excuse us a moment, Lenora."

Anders shut the door behind them and turned on Fenris, his face still flushed. "Are you mad? Don't do that sort of thing in front of other people!"

Fenris folded his arms looking at the mage with sharp eyes. "Is there a reason you don't want her to know about us?" Even though he asked, he already had an idea of what the answer was.

"It's just awkward." Anders said slowly, as if trying to make a point. "And besides, you're the one who doesn't want to be too open around others." he added.

That was true, and it made sense, but somehow the answer didn't satisfy Fenris. He wanted to hear it straight from the mage himself, if that woman was the reason he was simply tossing him aside like a toy he'd grown tired of playing with.

Anders sighed. "Look, I told you I don't have time for fooling around anymore. I have Lenora here now and I can't just screw with you anytime the mood hits you. Now, if there's nothing else, I really should get going. And you need to rest your leg, so just go home." He turned to walk away, but Fenris suddenly grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

"Blow me, mage."

Anders stood frozen in place for a moment, then slowly turned back to look at the elf. His face was blank, as if he had no idea what kind of expression he should have. "You can't be serious..."

Fenris gripped Anders's wrist and dragged him over to a dark corner backing him into it and blocked the mage in with his body. "Do it and I'll go." he said in a low voice.

If he could get that much, then he could go. Leaving now at the mage's order would mean he was obeying a command, just like when he was a slave. He knew it wasn't Anders's intention, but because of his past Fenris couldn't help the uneasy feeling it gave him. He didn't want to feel used, and he didn't want to just be pushed aside for another. It wasn't for the sexual gratification, if he could use the mage just once more then he could choose to walk away himself.

Even if it wasn't what he wanted.

Despite the dim lighting in the corner, Fenris could tell the mage's face was getting red again. "L-Lenora's waiting..." There was a hint of hesitation in his voice, as if he couldn't decide whether he wanted to or not. He actually seemed to be considering it.

Fenris hooked a finger around the chain on the front of Anders's coat and pulled him forward leaning down and kissing the mage's neck. He ran his tongue up to his ear and murmured, "Do a good job and I'll be quick."

Anders swallowed hard and stood silent for a moment as if thinking on the situation. He finally heaved a sigh of resignation. "Fine." he said in exasperation. "Maker, elf, you really are trouble."

Fenris didn't respond with words, but a deep, firm kiss, grabbing Anders behind the head and clutching his hair. He pressed his hips into the mage's and rubbed against him feeling the tingling desire return to his groin. Fenris let out a groan in the kiss when he felt the mage's hand reach between them and suddenly grasp his hardening manhood, fondling it through his pants.

Anders pulled back panting softly and pressed his face against Fenris's neck, sucking on it as he reached down the elf's pants and grasped his growing erection, stroking it roughly and making it grow bigger and harder in his hand. He got down on his knees and opened Fenris's pants, taking his dick out and gripped the base, giving the underside a long, slow lick drawing another sexy groan from the elf.

Anders stroked and pleasured the elf's hard erection with his hand and mouth, skillfully working both to heighten the other man's excitement. Fenris shuddered lightly, relishing the sensation of the warm tongue and soft lips he hadn't felt in almost a week. He rested his forehead against the wall and held the mage's head, watching as he licked and kissed his erection almost eagerly. Anders tilted his head, caressing the side of the elf's dick with his lips and curled his tongue along the bottom, running his tongue and lips up to the head. He wrapped his lips around the tip and teased it with his tongue.

Fenris licked his lips panting heavily then pulled Anders's hair to make him lean his head back and look up at him. "You seem awfully eager, mage. Did you miss sucking me off?" he asked with a teasing grin.

Anders's annoyed glare couldn't mask his embarrassment. "Shut up, elf! I'm just trying to be quick! Don't make me bite your-mmf!"

Fenris silenced Anders by pushing his dick deep into the mage's open mouth and began thrusting his hips groaning softly. "Mm...I wouldn't do that if I were you." he warned. "I might yell, people may come to see what's going on, including Lenora. I wonder what she'd think if she saw you sucking me off..."

Anders gripped Fenris's hips tightly letting out a little groan as the elf made him take his dick deep and hard. He did a good job of keeping his teeth to himself after that. Fenris eased up with his hips and allowed the mage to take him at his own pace. Anders took hold of the base of the elf's erection and started sucking him roughly and moving his head slowly at first, taking him deep into his mouth until the head pressed against the back of his throat. Fenris let out a moan of pleasure and closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of the mage's hot mouth enveloping his hard, throbbing dick.

Anders began moving his head faster and sucking harder, drawing more intense moans from Fenris. He gripped and stroked the base, moving and rubbing his tongue on the swollen member filling his mouth. Fenris's erection throbbed harder with excitement as his rising climax grew closer. He began thrusting his hips into the mage's mouth again, panting heavily. It felt like his dick was about to burst, but he struggled to hold it back, wanting to enjoy the feeling a little longer.

Finally, he couldn't hold it in anymore. "I'm almost...ahhh!" Fenris pulled Anders's head all the way onto his dick and released everything down his throat. He shuddered from the intense waves of pleasure that gripped him. Anders gulped hard swallowing the entire load before sucking Fenris clean and slowly pulled back.

Anders panted heavily trying to catch his breath and stood, using his sleeve to wipe his mouth. "Well, feel better?" he asked breathlessly.

Fenris couldn't exactly say that, it didn't feel like enough to him. But there was no way the mage would go all the way with the girl waiting for him in the clinic. He simply shrugged his shoulders, not revealing his feelings. "It'll suffice, I suppose." he said with a smirk, tucking himself back into his pants. It wasn't what he really wanted to say, but the elf had trouble expressing himself sometimes. Without the aid of alcohol, at least.

Anders looked agitated and shook his head. "Honestly, elf, I think there's no satisfying that sex drive of yours." he muttered. He started to walk away, but seemed to experiencing some discomfort while walking. It wasn't hard to figure out what the problem was. Fenris suddenly grabbed his arm and yanked him back, shoving him back up against the wall and pinned him.

Anders looked at him startled. "What are you doing?"

"Shut up." Fenris ordered and buried his face against Anders's neck, sucking on his sensitive spot and reached down, grasping the bulge in the mage's pants and fondled it roughly. Anders let out a groan and grabbed Fenris's arms trying to push him back but the elf only became more persistent.

"W-wait..." Anders squirmed, but his struggling didn't last long. He gave in pretty easily to the elf's touch.

Fenris loosened the mage's pants and reached in grabbing his erection and pulled it out, stroking it hard. He grabbed Anders behind the head with his other hand and pressed his lips to the mage's, slipping his tongue in and deepening their kiss.

Anders moaned in the kiss as Fenris started jerking him off, giving his dick a squeeze and rubbing his thumb over the head. He could feel the semen starting to leak from the tip already. Fenris pulled out of the kiss slipping his tongue back out and whispered into Anders's ear, "Want me to make you come, mage?" He bit the lobe gently and flicked his tongue on the flesh between his teeth.

Anders panted and groaned softly, nodding his head with his eyes closed. "Hurry, I can't wait..." he pleaded.

Fenris ran his tongue over his lips feeling a shiver of excitement run through his body. He loved it when the mage begged. He got down on his knees gripping the base and ran his tongue over the tip tasting the mage's semen. Fenris wrapped his lips around the head and sucked on it while stroking the shaft.

Anders let out a groan leaning his head back and held Fenris's head, burying his fingers in his soft, white hair. Fenris went down farther on the mage drawing another soft moan from his lips. He began moving his head and Anders's squirmed slightly, moving his hips to the elf's slow, steady rhythm. As Fenris began going faster, he heard the mage groan again, but this one sounded muffled. He lifted his eyes to see Anders's lips pressed together as if trying to stifle his sounds of pleasure.

Fenris wouldn't allow it.

He picked up the speed and pressed his lips tighter, hearing a louder muffled moan. He could feel the mage's erection pulsing harder, indicating he was getting close already. Fenris suddenly squeezed the base and heard the mage let out a gasp.

"Ah!" Anders gripped Fenris's hair tightly and hunched over. "Bastard...!" he growled through clenched teeth.

Fenris almost grinned around the mage's dick as he continued to pleasure it while suppressing the growing climax. He gave a tighter squeeze and heard Anders finally let out a loud moan.

"L-let go..." Anders panted heavily. "I'm coming!" He stopped stifling himself and let his sweet voice out as his moans grew more intense.

Fenris finally granted the mage mercy and released his dick just as the mage let out a cry of pleasure and came inside Fenris's mouth. His hot semen spilled down the elf's throat as Fenris swallowed it all. He sucked Anders clean and slowly pulled back, licking his lips. Fenris looked back up at Anders and grinned mischievously. "Seems like you missed getting sucked off almost as much as you missed sucking me off, mage."

"Shut up, elf." Anders muttered, still trying to catch his breath.

Fenris put the mage's softening dick away and stood, putting a hand on the wall next to Anders's head and leaned in close taking hold of his chin with his other hand. "You can't seriously want to stop this..." he said, tilting his head and leaning in to kiss Anders.

Anders suddenly turned his head away from Fenris, preventing the kiss. "I have to go. We've been out here too long as it is." he said, closing his pants up again.

Fenris scowled lightly at being denied, but stepped aside to let the mage pass. He stood facing away as Anders walked by. The mage halted and they stood with their backs to each other, standing in silence. It seemed like Anders wanted to say something but wasn't sure how.

"It's not that I don't enjoy it anymore or anything like that," he finally said. "but with Lenora here I'm going to be busy taking care of her."

Fenris didn't care for that phrasing.

Anders turned to face Fenris but the elf kept his back to him. The mage hesitated a moment before speaking again. "This shouldn't have started to begin with..." he said softly.

Fenris's eyes widened slightly, he felt a chill through his body at those words. Did the mage regret having anything to do with him? And why did it even matter to him? If he and Anders didn't really like each other and merely screwed around for fun, why did Fenris not want to let go? What was it that he wanted to hold on to exactly? The chill in his body left him longing for the feeling of warm arms wrapped around him. Maybe what he really wanted was...

"Are you listening, elf?"

Fenris was startled from his thoughts and turned around to face Anders. The mage eyed him for a moment. "Did you hear me?" he asked.

Fenris hadn't even realized he was still talking. He didn't want Anders to know the discomfort he was feeling from his words. He simply shrugged his shoulders casually, giving the mage a small smirk. "The things you say are so uninteresting I tend to tune you out sometimes." he lied.

Anders heaved a sigh putting a hand over his face and shook his head. "I don't know why I bother. I should probably just let that leg rot off."

It took Fenris a moment to remember the throbbing pain in his thigh. He had been too distracted by a different, more enjoyable feeling to notice it. "What about it?" he asked.

Anders folded his arms. "I said to use that balm often, it'll help. Let me take another look at it in a few days or so."

Fenris placed a hand on his hip and raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were going to be too busy for me."

Anders shrugged lightly. "More like too busy to satisfy that insatiable sexual appetite of yours. I feel like if you could screw me 24 hours a day you probably would."

Fenris ignored his pain and moved forward, looking down into Anders's eyes. He lifted the mage's chin bringing his face close. "And who is the cause of my insatiable hunger?" he murmured, bringing their lips close together. He could feel the mage's warm breath against his lips as he took shallow breaths. Fenris heard Anders swallow hard and was about to plant another kiss on him when the sound of a door opening startled them both and Anders jerked away from him.

Fenris nearly cursed out loud in frustration.

Lenora carefully poked her head out and looked at the two men with a hint of concern on her face. "Is everything ok?" she asked cautiously. Anders's remark about Fenris hating mages must have left an impression on her if she was so nervous about them being alone for an extended period of time. It caused Fenris some irritation, but it was more at the mage than her for saying anything in the first place.

Anders looked at her and gave her a reassuring smile. "Everything's fine, we're just talking." he answered. Lenora looked visibly relieved at his words and smiled again.

"Actually, he was giving me a blowjob." Fenris remarked nonchalantly, as if it were a normal thing to say.

"Fenris!" Anders shouted looking back at the elf, his face turning red again.

Lenora gave a visible start, her big brown eyes going wide for a moment as she stared at Fenris in surprise. She pursed her lips together, the corners of her mouth twitching, then grabbed her mouth and burst into a giggling fit.

Anders sighed heavily, closing his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose shaking his head.

After a few moments, Lenora finally calmed down enough to talk again and took some breaths. "He's funny, Anders. He's kind of like you."

"No, he's not!"/"No, I'm not!"

Lenora only giggled harder at their shouts of unison. "You're so compatible. Are you sure you're not friends?" she asked with a playful smile.

"Lenora!" Anders admonished.

The feelings of nervousness she seemed to feel toward Fenris earlier appeared to have dissipated already. Somehow Fenris couldn't bring himself to really dislike this woman. She seemed happy and kind for someone who endured years of hardship, and was even friendly and understanding toward a stranger who was said to hate her kind. But most importantly, she was someone who made the mage happy. She was everything Fenris wasn't.

"Lenora, go back inside where you can't be troublesome." Anders ordered with a playful tone in his voice. "I'll be in there in a minute."

Lenora nodded to him then looked over at Fenris. "Bye, Fenris, it was nice meeting you." she said with a genuine smile.

She was even cuter when she smiled so sweetly, and it made Fenris feel awkward. After his earlier behavior, her politeness and kind nature made him feel like some kind of rude brute. "Yes, uh, nice to meet you too." he replied, feeling a little embarrassed.

There seemed to be a flicker of happiness in her eyes at the returned pleasantry before she turned and went back into the clinic.

Anders had a faint smile on his face as he shook his head looking at the door she had gone through. When he looked back at Fenris it faded. They stood in silence now, neither one sure of what to say next.

"Well, I better get going." Anders finally said. "Just make sure to take care of your wound."

He turned away from Fenris again and the elf felt his muscles tensing with a strange sense of dismay that he didn't understand. There was a tightness in his chest as he stared at the mage's back, knowing he was being left behind again like that time in Seheron. Except this time, he didn't want to be left behind.

Before he realized what he was doing, Fenris suddenly reached out and grabbed Anders's coat sleeve. He surprised himself with this act, and wasn't sure what to say when the mage turned around to look at him.

"What?" Anders asked expectantly.

Fenris froze in indecision. What could he say? He wasn't good at revealing his feelings, and he felt foolish that he was even bothered at all. But he was. How could he tell the mage this? And what would he think of it?

The uncomfortable feeling in Fenris's chest began growing, so much that it was starting to ache. He hung his head, clutching Anders's sleeve. "I-I...this pain..." he said hesitantly. "I can't...take it..." he finally managed to force out. Was he being too selfish? But sex with the mage was the only thing that brought him a sense of comfort he'd never really experienced before. Being wrapped up in an embrace of pleasure, lost in ecstasy, he found himself forgetting his past pain and present troubles when he became absorbed by those passionate kisses and warm touch. After all he'd been through, didn't he deserve something?

But even if he was being selfish, there was something he definitely wasn't being: himself. What had become of him over these past few months? Fenris couldn't even look at Anders as he awaited the mage's response.

"Why didn't you just say so?" Anders asked with a sigh. "Honestly, elf, you need to be more honest."

Fenris looked up quickly, somewhat surprised. He'd been expecting some sort of annoying remark about being needy or too sexually obsessed. Did the mage understand his feelings after all? He almost felt a sense of relief.

"If it's too painful, then just let me heal it."

Fenris blinked and let go of Anders's sleeve. "What?" he asked in confusion, his relief quickly vanishing.

"If your wound is hurting too much then let me use healing magic on it. Things will be much easier that way." Anders said.

Fenris simply stared at the mage in stunned silence. Of course he misunderstood, it would have been too easy otherwise. Now he felt even more like a fool. He never should have said anything in the first place. He should have just walked away, he should have just let go. There was no point in clearing up the misunderstanding, the mage had moved on.

Now it was his turn to do so as well.

"That is what you meant, isn't it?" Anders asked, a look of doubt starting to show in his eyes.

Fenris had to come up with an answer before Anders grew suspicious. If he told the mage it wasn't what he was talking about then he would have to explain and make a bigger fool of himself. But if he confirmed Anders's thoughts, it meant the mage would use magic on him. The elf had two choices: tell the mage what he really meant and reveal his feelings, or be touched by the thing he hated most.

Fenris hated complications.

"Yes, it was." he finally said. "It would be...difficult, fighting with a wound like this. I cannot have my performance in battle compromised." It wasn't a complete lie, the pain did make it difficult for him to move. He relied on speed as well as strength, and one would not be as effective without the other.

Anders studied Fenris for a moment, then nodded and walked forward. "Alright, just relax. Don't think of it as magic, think of it as fast acting medicine that heals almost instantly."

"Just shut up and do it, mage." Fenris muttered in irritation.

He became tense when Anders approached and the mage hesitated a moment, then reached forward and wrapped an arm around the elf's back pulling him against himself. Fenris swallowed, but allowed the comforting embrace and grasped the mage's sides. He felt childish for being so nervous over simple healing magic, ridiculous even. It wasn't the evil blood magic that had left its scars on his mind and memories, and this wasn't a wicked blood mage who sold his soul to a demon for power. It was just the annoying mage that Hawke liked having around for some reason and proved to be useful every now and then. Fenris closed his eyes and pressed his face against the mage's shoulder.

That's right, it's just Anders.

While still holding Fenris with one arm, Anders placed the hand of his other arm over the elf's injured thigh and the white blue ball of light began to glow in his palm. Fenris felt the soothing warmth of the healing light on his wound and felt the pain starting to subside. The warmth covered his entire right thigh, and Fenris could even feel the wound starting to close up. His tense muscles slowly relaxed and he felt a sense of relief when the warmth faded almost as quickly as it had appeared. It was over sooner than he thought.

The light disappeared from Anders's hand and he stepped back removing his arm from around Fenris. "How does it feel?"

Fenris shifted his weight to his right leg and put pressure on it, finding he felt no pain in his thigh when he did so. "It feels fine."

"Well, it was a small wound so it was quick and easy to heal."

Fenris cleared his throat. "Thanks, mage..."

Now they stood in awkward silence again. Departing was never this difficult before, there was always the assurance that they'd meet again every time. But now that the assurance wasn't there anymore, Fenris felt insecure. In the beginning of their adventures, all he wanted was to get away from the mage, but now that he'd grown accustomed to his constant presence, it felt strange having to go back to his solitary lifestyle. He was hardly alone anymore, not like before when he kept mostly to himself and only associated with the others for missions and the occasional game night. He really wasn't himself anymore, and it felt completely wrong.

Anders finally broke the uncomfortable silence. "I have to get going, for real this time. Tell Varric 'hi' for me."

Fenris had forgotten he was supposed to go to the Hanged Man to deliver the dwarf's bolts for his crossbow. It was a good thing the mage reminded him, it would have been irritating to head all the way to his mansion in Hightown just to discover he'd have to go all the way back to Lowtown to deliver them.

"If I must." Fenris said with a sigh, as if it were some sort of bother. He hid his childish insecurity behind playful sarcasm. Anders rolled his eyes and turned to walk away, but Fenris didn't stop him this time.

"Bye, elf." Anders said without looking back. He walked back to the door and entered the clinic, leaving Fenris alone again.

Fenris let out a soft sigh then walked away, heading to Darktown's exit. Maybe he was over thinking things. He always got by on his own just fine before, all he needed to do was get back into the normal state of things and everything would be fine again. Surely these foolish attachment issues would pass. But if worse came to worse, as the mage had said, he'd have no difficulty finding a new partner.

Perhaps he would test the waters after all.

---

When Fenris entered Varric's quarters the dwarf was sitting at his table working intently on something he was writing and didn't notice the elf's arrival. He stared at the page for a moment, then frowned with dissatisfaction and scratched out what he had written. He looked deep in thought for a moment, then wrote something new and smiled, looking satisfied with the change.

Fenris approached the table and reached behind his back grabbing a neatly wrapped bundle that had been tucked into his belt. "Got your order, dwarf." he said, startling Varric.

Varric jumped then looked up at Fenris. "Great Ancestors, Elf! Don't sneak up on-" He stopped mid-sentence upon noticing Fenris's bandaged leg. "Whoa, what happened? Are you ok?" he asked with concern.

Fenris looked down at his thigh, he hadn't removed the bandage yet. He looked back at Varric and shrugged. "It's fine. I got attacked by bandits on the way back to Kirkwall, but the mage took care of my wound. I just forgot to take the bandage off."

Varric put the story he was writing away in a small chest and set it aside. "Shit, Elf. I didn't think you'd get-" Again, Varric stopped in mid-sentence, processing what Fenris had just said. He sat back in his chair raising his eyebrows in exaggerated surprise. "You let Blondie heal you? Wow, you really have warmed up to him."

Fenris became slightly flustered and tossed Varric the bundle of bolts. "Don't be foolish, dwarf! I just...the pain was a hindrance! Some of us actually move around in battle instead of standing in one spot pulling a trigger, you know."

Varric chuckled, unaffected by the elf's words, and caught the bundle. He grinned playfully at Fenris. "Relax, Elf, I'm just messing with you. I knew there was a good reason for it..." His tone, however, suggested subtle sarcasm. He wasn't fully buying the elf's claims.

"Anyway," he said, unwrapping the bolts and examining them. "Thanks for the help. As promised, I'll go ahead and drop the coin you owe me so we're even." He reached down over the side of his chair and picked up his crossbow which was leaning against it. "Bianca says 'thank you', too."

Fenris looked at the crossbow Varric placed on the table. "Your crossbow is...thanking me?"

Varric looked up at him smiling. "Of course, she's not rude you know!" he chuckled softly. He could never resist bullshitting others. It was probably due to his storyteller personality. Most of the stories he told held little to no truth in them, and his fabrications often made their way into normal conversation.

Fenris shook his head lightly and walked over to the table taking a seat near the end close to Varric. "You're welcome, Bianca." he responded, humoring the dwarf.

Varric looked up from loading the bolts into Bianca. "You sticking around?"

Fenris shrugged. "Is it a problem?"

Varric shook his head. "Not at all, I'm just a little surprised. You usually keep to yourself and all."

"I know, I just...feel like talking to someone." Fenris kept his eyes down, watching Varric load his crossbow. He didn't usually have 'talks' with the others, and it felt too awkward to look at the dwarf directly.

Varric smiled as he loaded the last bolt into Bianca. "Really? I'm honored you'd come talk to me, Elf."

"I don't know where Hawke is."

"Well, I was honored..." Varric mumbled.

Fenris gave the dwarf a small smile. "I'm kidding."

Varric chuckled softly setting Bianca back down on the floor leaning against his chair again. "Yeah, you seem to do that a little more often than usual now."

Fenris furrowed his eyebrows looking puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Varric gave a light shrug leaning forward and placed his arms on the table, interlacing his fingers. "Well, since you and Blondie became...'friends'...you have a better attitude than before. You're not nearly as broody."

"I don't brood."

Varric grinned playfully. "Not anymore. Guess all that uh, attention, puts you in a good mood."

Fenris started to push up from his seat. "Alright, I'm leaving."

"Sit down, I'm just messing with you, Elf!" Varric laughed. Fenris settled back into his seat and Varric took on a more serious tone. "So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Fenris wasn't entirely sure where to start. Deciding to talk was sort of a spur of the moment idea. It'd probably be best to start with the main thing that bothered him. "Actually, the 'attention' giving is pretty much over."

Varric looked serious, a rare occurrence. "What? What happened?"

"Well, have you heard about the young mage woman who escaped the Gallows?" Fenris asked.

"Elf, with my spy network I know about things before they happen."

Fenris chuckled lightly then looked down as he continued. "Well, her name is Lenora. She was a Ferelden mage who was sent to Kirkwall. She was going to be made Tranquil because of some love letters that were discovered in her belongings. It was meant to prevent her from trying to escape the Circle to be with the person she was exchanging the letters with, though she hadn't actually planned on it."

Varric looked taken aback by the elf's information. "How do you know all that? I don't even have all those details."

Fenris looked back up at Varric. "Because she is a friend of the mage, and he told me about her. They were in the Ferelden Circle together when they were younger and were...close. She's with him now."

"Oh." Varric said, leaning back in his chair. "I see..." He seemed to be putting the pieces together, and for some reason looked unhappy about the matter. "Then he and his buddies were the ones that broke her out last night. I heard it'd been a close call, but they made it out ok."

They had just broken her out the night before and the two of them had sex on the same night? No wonder she had been so tired. And the mage called Fenris's sex drive overactive. He frowned deeply and Varric seemed to sense the elf's displeasure.

"Are you disappointed?" he asked.

Fenris had expected a more joking tone in the dwarf's voice, but Varric had asked the question seriously. He was actually feeling bad for him. Did Fenris look that bothered over the matter? The elf shook his head. "No, I just...it was a bit unexpected is all." That wasn't the entire truth. If he wanted to really talk with the dwarf he'd need to say more.

Fenris adjusted himself in his seat, feeling uncomfortable, but it wasn't his sitting position that was causing his discomfort. "Actually, I'm not sure what I feel exactly. It's difficult to say. How does one understand things they never felt before?"

Varric took a deep breath then let it out through his nose. He steepled his fingers together and looked deep in thought, as if trying to figure out what to say. "Sometimes, we just can't make sense of things, Elf. The mind is a tricky thing, and not everyone can figure out how it works. When you try to hide or suppress your feelings, even the ones you don't understand, it can really mess you up and confuse you. And it's worse when you feel something for someone..." Varric stared straight ahead, a distant look in his eyes as if his mind was on something, or someone, else. Fenris got the feeling Varric wasn't talking about his situation.

"Who is Bianca?"

Varric looked at Fenris, seeming startled by the sudden question. He quickly hid behind a playful smile and reached beside his chair to pat his crossbow. "Come on, Elf, don't tell me you forgot about Bianca already. You'll hurt her feelings!"

Fenris simply looked at Varric with a serious expression and the dwarf sighed quietly, losing his smile. "Not today, Elf. Someday, maybe, but not today."

Fenris nodded. "I understand."

Varric gave the elf a smile of gratitude. "Thanks, Fenris." He rarely used real names with anyone he had given a nickname to. It was a sign of how serious he was at the moment. "So," Varric continued, changing the subject. "what about you? What are your feelings?"

Fenris looked down, an expression of discomfort and indecision on his face. He wanted to explain things, but he wasn't sure how. Plus it was an awkward feeling telling the dwarf about his emotions. His inhibitions were a burden to him sometimes.

Varric smiled, sensing Fenris's difficulty, and grabbed a cup and bottle of whiskey that was sitting on the table. "How about a drink, Elf? That usually helps relax you." He poured a cup and held it out toward the elf.

Fenris held up a hand and shook his head. "No, thanks. I'm good."

Varric shrugged and brought the cup to his lips starting to take a sip.

"Besides, if I get too drunk I might wake up in bed with you next."

In mid-swallow and mid-sip, Varric's eyes widened and he spit out his drink, dropping the cup and spilling its contents on the table. He began coughing and gasping for breath, and Fenris couldn't help a small grin of amusement.

"Holy shit, Elf! Don't do that to me!" Varric cried hitting his fist against his chest and coughed again.

Fenris chuckled lightly as a woman walked up to the table and began cleaning up Varric's mess. The dwarf finally caught his breath and looked up at her. "Sorry about that, Edwina. I-" He stopped short, staring at the woman. It wasn't Edwina.

She had medium length hair that was a golden orange color and hung in loose curls. A light speckling of freckles dotted the area below jade green eyes and across her nose. Red painted lips stood out in contrast to her pale skin. The low neckline of her dark green dress revealed ample cleavage of her perky breasts.

Varric stared at her for a moment, his mouth open, before he regained himself; he quickly shook his head and cleared his throat. "Uh, sorry. I was expecting Edwina."

The woman smiled sweetly. "Edwina's sick, I'm taking over her shift for her until she gets better." she replied, speaking with a thick Kirkwall accent. "I'm her cousin, Anna. But some folks call me Ginger."

"Because of your red hair?" Varric asked.

Anna gave a little shrug of her shoulders. "That...and because I'm so sweet." She giggled with a playful smile on her red lips.

"I bet you are..." Varric murmured with a little grin and a distracted look on his face. He quickly cleared his throat and regained his senses once more. "Uh, anyway, sorry about the mess."

She finished cleaning the table off with a towel. "No worries, hon. My shift's just about over and it's the last mess of the day. I'm quite grateful it's not urine or vomit."

Varric chuckled. "Glad I could make your day. I'm Varric, by the way."

"Nice to meet you. I've heard a good bit about you." Anna grinned lightly at him.

"If it's anything bad, it's a lie." Varric said quickly.

Anna chuckled then looked over at Fenris. "And this is?"

Fenris didn't seem to be paying attention. He sat with his elbows on the table and his fingers laced together. He had the lower half of his face rested against his hands and was looking down at the table. He didn't seem all that interested in joining the conversation.

Varric looked at the elf with a frown then spoke up, his voice a little loud. "This is Broody, the elf. You'll have to excuse him, he tends to have brooding fits when he's sad."

Fenris lifted his head and cast a glare at the dwarf. "I don't brood." he said sternly. That probably did count as brooding though, but he wasn't going to admit it. He looked up at Anna finally. "It's Fenris."

She gave him a charming smile. "Nice to meet you, too. You look a little troubled, something wrong?"

Fenris glanced to the side. "It...it's nothing. No need to be concerned." he murmured. If talking to his own companions was difficult, then talking to a complete stranger would probably be even harder.

Though she still had a smile on her face, there was a momentary look of curious concern in her eyes. For a moment, she almost seemed to be reading him. It passed quickly though and she nodded, her playful mannerism returning. "Alright, sorry to bug you, hon. Anyway, I better get going. It's Nella's turn to deal with these drunk perverts. But if you need anything, anything at all, just let me know." Though she looked at both men, her gaze lingered longer on Fenris.

Varric looked at her puzzled. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

Anna gave him a little grin. "Yeah, but I don't have to stop...servicing, outside of the tavern."

Varric gulped lightly, his face turning slightly flushed. "Uh, g-good to know." he said with a hint of awkwardness in his voice. He adjusted himself in his seat, seeming to press his thighs more firmly together. "A-anyway, it was nice meeting you."

"Nice to meet you too, darling." She looked over at Fenris. "A real pleasure."

Fenris got a strange feeling under her not so subtle gaze; it felt as if those jade eyes were looking right through him, into him. He simply nodded to her, a stoic look on his face. "Likewise."

Anna watched him for a short moment, the serious look briefly returning to her eyes. She then turned and started to leave. "Hope to see you boys again soon." she called back. She had a little sway in her hips as she walked away, drawing attention to her nicely shaped bottom.

Varric stared after her for a moment then shook his head trying to keep his mind clear of inappropriate thoughts. He caught everything that was there in her words, and who it was really directed at. Not that he minded, but he wished she hadn't been so...intriguing. He finally looked back at Fenris to see the elf's reaction.

Fenris's eyes were cast toward the doorway where she had walked out. His face had no expression, but his eyes held a hint of mild curiosity. Varric couldn't help finding it amusing and decided to have some fun at the elf's expense. He folded his arms and looked at Fenris expectantly. "Well?"

Fenris looked back at the dwarf. "What?"

Varric motioned to the door with his head. "What are you waiting for? Get going!"

Fenris blinked. "What? You...want me to leave?"

Varric smacked his hand over his face. "Come on, Elf. You'd have to be blind to not see that girl was completely interested in you! She obviously wants you to follow her. It's crazy to ignore a babe like that!"

Fenris folded his arms. "If you find her so attractive, why don't you go for it?"

Varric feigned some surprise. "What kind of guy do you take me for? I'm a one woman kind of man, Elf! And Bianca gets very jealous."

"You know, you can't have sex with a crossbow, Varric."

Varric shrugged. "You just have to be creative."

Fenris just stared at him. "I...did not need to hear that." he muttered.

Varric snickered mischievously, but it was cut short when Fenris suddenly stood up. "What, did I scare you off, Elf?" he asked.

Fenris walked away from the table without looking back at Varric. "No, I think I'm in the mood for something sweet..."

Varric's jaw dropped in surprise as he stared at the elf's back. He hadn't thought Fenris would actually go for it. In fact, he had been joking because he was almost certain the elf would brush the matter off. Varric was starting to get a bad feeling about this, and he didn't like getting bad feelings.

"By the way, the mage says 'hi'." Fenris stated before exiting Varric's room and leaving the stunned dwarf sitting slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

"Shit, maybe I shouldn't have said anything." Varric murmured to himself. "If Blondie and Elf both get themselves women, then..."

Even if feelings weren't involved, the sex between Anders and Fenris was the only thing that quelled the animosity between them. Despite still arguing over matters that they had differing views on, everyone knew it always ended the same way. For years the rivalry between the two men caused Hawke grief because two of his closest friends didn't get along, and he often had to get in the middle before things turned violent. He was finally getting a break from all the tension, but now...

Varric put a hand over his face letting out a heavy sigh and leaned back in his chair. What was going to happen now? Would things remain slightly civil between them, or go back to the way they were before? Varric hated not knowing the answer. There was nothing to do but wait and see how things turned out.

But he had a feeling they wouldn't be good.

{*}

After saying her good byes to Corff and the other tavern staff, Anna headed to the door and grabbed the handle, about to open it. Suddenly, a hand covered in a silver gauntlet shot past her from behind and was planted firmly against the door, preventing her from opening it. She turned her head in surprise and met a pair of light green, almond shaped eyes.

Fenris leaned over Anna looking down at her. "Need an escort?" he asked in a low voice.

Anna blinked, looking up at him with a startled expression as if she hadn't been expecting him. Then a flirtatious smile spread across her soft red lips. "Why, I believe I do need an escort."

Fenris opened the door for her. "Ladies first..." he grinned lightly with a mischievous look in his eyes.

Anna chuckled softly and sauntered out. "Mm, such a gentleman..." she said with a sultry tone.

The elf followed her out and shut the door to the tavern behind him.

---

Fenris lay on his back in bed with one bare arm under his head and the other on his stomach. His armor was off and his vest undone. He lay staring up at the bedroom ceiling.

But it wasn't his own bedroom he was in.

Anna positioned herself down by Fenris's hips and worked his pants open removing his half erect manhood. She ran her tongue over the head then began licking and kissing the shaft all over, causing it to grow thicker and harder. She slid her warm wet tongue along the shaft from base to tip then wrapped her soft lips around the top, swirling her tongue around the head.

Fenris closed his eyes and took a deep breath letting it back out with a little groan. He reached down with the hand that was on his stomach and held Anna's head as she went down on his erection and took it all the way into her mouth. She began moving her head slowly with a steady rhythm taking him deep, her soft lips wrapped tightly around Fenris's hard dick. Her mouth seemed to be smaller than the mage's, making for a more snug, pleasurable fit.

Fenris groaned softly and arched his back letting out soft pants as she began picking up speed, creating greater friction from her tight mouth. Her long curly hair hung down over her shoulders and head brushing on the skin of his abdomen and creating a tickling sensation each time she moved her head up and down. Fenris's excitement grew and he removed the hand from beneath his head and grasped her hair with both hands. His moans grew more intense and he leaned his head back closing his eyes and savoring the sweet sensation of her hot, tight mouth. He licked his lips and gripped her hair, gently making her move faster, being careful not to get too rough with her like he was with the mage. She sucked lightly, her warm wet tongue pressed tightly against the hard throbbing base.

After a few moments, Anna suddenly pulled up and released Fenris's dick without finishing him off. Fenris opened his eyes and he picked up his head quickly to look at her, but before he could say anything she turned around swinging a leg over him and positioned herself so her lower body was over his face. She reached down between her legs and spread the wet, pink flesh of her pussy that was on the verge of dripping. "Lick me," she pleaded with a sexy voice. "use your tongue on my pussy."

Well, this was new.

Fenris blinked and stared up at the soft pink lips and clitoris in an almost clueless manner. He hadn't thought about how oral sex was done on a woman. Her somewhat vague instructions was all he had to go on. As Anna got back to work on sucking him off, Fenris leaned in and ran his tongue between her wet pussy lips, spreading them with his thumbs and flicking his tongue on the clit. He rubbed and pressed his tongue on it then sucked it lightly, eliciting a soft groan of pleasure from her that he could actually feel on his dick. The sensation caused him to let out a moan and he started sucking on her clit harder upon discovering the pleasure it created.

Fenris inserted one of the thumbs he was spreading her pussy with deep into her hole, feeling the wetness of her insides. The more he pleasured and played with it, the wetter her pussy became as the clear juices began to drip from her hole. It flowed down onto his tongue and he licked it up, finding it tasted different from the mage's semen.

Fenris inwardly scolded himself for thinking of the mage at a time like this.

Anna distracted him from his thoughts when she once again stopped sucking his dick before his climax, and once again surprised him with a new trick he'd never experienced before as she wrapped her large, soft breasts around his wet, throbbing dick and began rubbing them up and down the entire length of his erection. Fenris leaned his head back moaning but continued fingering her hot wet pussy as her moans grew louder. She bent her head down and sucked the tip of his dick while roughly stroking it with her breasts.

Fenris felt light-headed as his climax grew closer. He slid his finger back out of her pussy and shoved his tongue in in its place. She moaned and panted moving her hips and pressing down onto his tongue and lips. He could tell she was getting close as well. Fenris pushed his tongue in deeply, moving it around while stimulating her clitoris with his thumb. His dick throbbed with its oncoming orgasm and he began thrusting his hips with her movements. Fenris's muscles grew tense and he let out a moan of pleasure, coming hard in Anna's mouth. She immediately swallowed the whole load and continued her own moans and groans of ecstasy as she rocked her hips harder.

She pulled up from Fenris's dick trying to catch her breath between moans. "I'm coming! I'm co-ahhh!" She threw her head back with a cry of pleasure upon reaching her own orgasm, her small body shuddered and trembled as it was racked with pleasure. Fenris pulled his tongue out and laid his head back closing his eyes and panting heavily as Anna rested her own head on his thigh. The two lay in silence for a moment and tried to catch their breaths.

After a brief rest, Anna pushed herself up and crawled forward lifting her hips in the air and looked back to Fenris. "Hurry," she said anxiously. "I can't wait anymore, put it in me." She spread her legs invitingly, fully revealing her wet pussy.

Fenris got up on his knees behind her starting to pull his pants down, then remembered the bandage wrapped around his thigh which kept them from going any further. Too impatient to deal with the matter, he settled for simply pushing them down far enough to be out of the way. As he took hold of Anna's voluptuous hips and began to position himself, the memory of another voice surfaced in his mind.

"Don't tease me, elf..." it pleaded impatiently. "Hurry up and give it to me..."

Fenris closed his eyes trying to push the memory out of his mind, then shoved his dick all the way inside of Anna. She let out a combined gasp of surprise and moan of pleasure but made no complaints about the abrupt action. Fenris moaned softly and began thrusting slowly at first, getting a good feel of her pussy. The differences felt amazing. Her hot insides were wet and slick, making his dick slide more easily. Her soft inner muscles were snug and almost felt cushiony in comparison to the inside of the mage's ass. Fenris felt them squeeze and contract each time he pushed into her and began thrusting his hips faster, gripping her hips tightly.

Anna panted and groaned with pleasure, her supple breasts bounced with each thrust Fenris made. He leaned over, driving his dick into her deeper and reached beneath her, grabbing one of her soft breasts and fondled it, teasing the nipple with his finger. He slid his other hand down over her hip to her pussy, rubbing and massaging the soaking wet clit. Anna moaned loudly clutching the bed sheets and Fenris felt her muscles tense and tighten around his dick.

"Ohh...you're so good...!" she moaned.

Fenris blushed lightly, his first time with a woman was going better than he could have imagined. He began picking up speed, squeezing her breast tighter and thrust his hips hard and fast as he bent over her, kissing and sucking her neck from behind. His fingers and dick became soaked with the hot juices that dripped from her tight hole. Fenris groaned and panted breathlessly hearing her moans and cries of sexual thrill intensify. He could feel himself getting closer and struggled to hold it in until she came.

"Oh, Maker! I'm coming!" she cried. Anna let out a passionate cry of pleasure arching her back and her pussy squeezed his dick tightly as she climaxed. Her clear cum dripped from her pussy and onto the bed sheets as her whole body shuddered with waves of pleasure. Fenris was on the verge of his own climax when Anna suddenly spoke up.

"Careful, it's not one of my safe days." she said through her pants.

It took Fenris a moment to realize what she meant and he quickly yanked himself out, grabbing the base of his throbbing erection to hold back his orgasm. He took her arm with the other hand and pulled her around on her knees to face him, putting his dick to her mouth and slid it in. Anna immediately began sucking him off fast and brought him to his climax almost right away. Fenris leaned his head back and let out a moan, filling her mouth with his hot semen. She gulped it all down and cleaned his dick before taking it back out.

Fenris panted in exhaustion and pulled his pants back up before lying down again and closed his eyes. Anna crawled up to lie on her side next to him with her head on his shoulder and rested a hand on his chest. "Mm, that was great." she said with a sigh of satisfaction.

Fenris became tense, not used to anyone but the mage touching him, then put an arm around her and slowly relaxed. He was almost relaxed enough to fall asleep.

Then he felt a finger tracing his markings.

Anna trailed her finger along the lyrium patterns on his chest. "These are beautiful. Where did-"

Fenris suddenly sat up making her fall off him. "There's somewhere I need to go." he said quickly while getting out of bed and stood with his back to her as he began fastening his vest again.

Anna sat up quickly and looked up at him in concern. "I-is it something I did?" she asked worriedly

"It's nothing." he said bluntly, not bothering to look at her. He could feel her eyes on him though, and turned to look over his shoulder at her. She sat staring up at him looking hurt and sad at the same time. Fenris began to feel guilty then sighed, turning around to face her. "I'm sorry. The history behind these markings is...unpleasant, to say the least. I prefer to forget that they are there." he said softly.

Anna seemed slightly relieved when he showed no anger toward her then nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry I upset you."

Fenris shook his head. "It isn't your fault, I hadn't thought to tell you. I was used to my other partner knowing."

There was a sudden spark of curiosity in those jade eyes when he mentioned a partner. "So you had another lover? I take it you two aren't together anymore?" she asked, seeming interested in the matter.

Fenris almost corrected her on the term 'lover', but didn't feel like going through the whole explanation of things and merely let it slide. "No, we aren't. There was someone else. They had been separated through...certain circumstances, but were recently reunited. I simply stepped aside. It was probably for the best."

Anna's eyebrows lowered and she had a look of sympathy on her face. "Oh, I'm sorry. I know how difficult it is to separate from your love." she said softly, a nostalgic look in her eyes.

"We weren't in love." Fenris said quickly. "We were just screwing around for fun, we didn't feel anything for each other. Outside of sex we were still rivals and fought all the time. So if he wants-"

"He?" Anna asked with a look of intrigue.

Fenris froze with embarrassment at that slip. "Uh, it's not like...we aren't...I-I'm not gay! I like women just fine! I think I prefer you over him, actually." He was pretty certain that was the case. The sexual attraction he felt toward this beautiful woman in front of him was great, and there were more exciting things to do with her that couldn't be done with Anders. Fenris didn't need that annoying mage after all.

Anna giggled and smiled up at Fenris. "Relax, sweetie. It's not as black and white as that. If the sex is fun it doesn't matter if it's with a man or woman. It's not the sex that matters, but the feelings." Her playful expression slowly turned into one that was a little more serious. "And there were no feelings...right?"

Fenris grew uncomfortable with the way she looked at him. It was almost as if she was reading him somehow, and the tone in her voice suggested that maybe she was aware of something he wasn't aware of himself.

Fenris looked to the side, unable to look into her eyes anymore. "No, we don't like each other except for sex. The way we feel about certain things are completely different, and we simply cannot agree with each other. I'll never accept his views." Fenris's fingers curled into loose fists and he closed his eyes. "He is the very thing I hate most." he said quietly.

Anna watched him silently for a moment, a sad but caring look on her face. "He is something you hate," she said softly. "but is it him you hate?"

Fenris didn't know what to say to that. He'd hated Anders for years, wanted to just kill him on multiple occasions, wished Hawke didn't care for him so much. But lately, Fenris wanted him. His touch, his kiss, his embrace...

Fenris shook his head, pushing thoughts of the mage aside. "I just...wanted caring attention, that's all. As a slave I was never-"

"Slave?" Anna asked wide-eyed. "Oh, Fenris, I'm so-"

Fenris quickly cut her off. "Please, I dislike being pitied. So, don't apologize."

She blinked. "O-oh, sorry..."

They were both silent for a moment then started laughing. The laughter passed after a couple of seconds and Fenris let out a sigh as he became serious again. He turned to sit on the edge of the bed with his back to her and leaned forward resting his forearms on his thighs and laced his fingers together. "How does one know what an emotion feels like when they've never experienced or felt it before? I mean, what is 'love'?" He'd asked Varric a similar question, but wondered if Anna could provide a more satisfying answer.

"Hmm..." Anna closed her eyes and became contemplative, as if trying to think of a way to explain. She suddenly dropped back on the bed and lay on her back, keeping her eyes closed and spread her arms out. Fenris turned his torso to look at her, trying to figure out what she was doing.

"Love is like...floating." she said with a little smile. "Your heart swells, and you're lifted into the sky, floating on cloud nine. Happiness is what keeps you afloat, and only sadness and heartbreak will bring you down. But as long as that love is there and your heart filled with joy, you'll never drop." She spoke wistfully, but at the same time almost seemed sad. Was she floating for someone? Or had she already fallen?

Anna opened her eyes and propped herself up on her elbows, looking up at Fenris. "What about you? What do you feel?"

Fenris turned back around and hung his head, leaning forward again. He closed his eyes and concentrated deeply on what he felt.

"Falling." he replied softly.

Anna looked at him sadly, but kept silent as she listened intently to his words.

Fenris kept his eyes closed. "Like falling into an abyss, surrounded by nothing but darkness. Spiraling out of control." He could almost see it: an image of himself falling head first into endless darkness, unable to gain control of himself.

Fenris had to open his eyes, he could almost feel the vertigo from the fall making him dizzy.

Anna sat up all the way and put an arm around him from behind, resting her head against his back. "It's fear." she said softly.

Fenris grew tense, but not from her touch. He'd never thought about such a thing. He only turned away from his emotions, believing that they only caused weakness. But he doubted that thought was untrue.

"What are you afraid of, Fenris?" Anna asked.

"I...I don't know."

Why was he even talking to her about this? He wasn't entirely sure. Something about this woman was comforting, as if he could speak to her freely. She seemed caring and sincere, nothing like the women he associated with. Fenris couldn't help but wonder if the seduction was a means of getting him to speak to her. She did seem concerned about what was troubling him back at the Hanged Man, and the way she had looked at him, it seemed like it was more than mild curiosity that drove her.

Fenris closed his eyes and couldn't help but smile in amusement. Women could be frighteningly crafty sometimes.

"Well, maybe you're afraid to love." Anna said, interrupting his thoughts. "What if that man-"

"I don't and won't love the mage." Fenris said coldly. He couldn't do it. No, he wouldn't do it. He would never love a mage and abomination.

"Mage?" she asked in surprise, letting go of him and sitting back. "You mean an apostate?"

Fenris nearly smacked himself on the forehead. Once again he had spoken too carelessly. Perhaps she was a little too easy to talk to. He turned to face her, feeling it necessary to defend the mage for some reason. "Yes, he's an apostate, but he is no blood mage. In fact, he's always rambling and whining about how not all mages are evil and that only blood mages are trouble and talking about mages' rights and other nonsense like that. It's annoying, really. Maddening even."

Anna only smiled, not looking the least bit troubled. "Relax, sweetie, I have no problem with mages. But a man and an apostate...you really are a naughty boy." she grinned.

Fenris's face turned red with embarrassment and he cleared his throat, scratching the back of his head. "Well, I hadn't planned on having him for a partner, i-it just happened. I mean, I was kind of really drunk and...the sex was pretty good, so we just kept going... If it weren't for that stupid mage I probably would never have uh, you know... I had never even thought about it, so..." His rambling trailed off. Fenris sighed in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes and shutting them tightly. He was a foolish mess, and he couldn't even blame it on alcohol this time. Fenris really wished he would return to his old self again already.

Anna giggled. "You're adorable when you're embarrassed, you know. No wonder even men find you sexually appealing. Even one you argue...with..." Her smiled faded, and a look of realization replaced her amused expression. "Oh..." she said softly.

Fenris turned away from her, he could tell she had figured it out.

"Mages. That's what you hate most, isn't it? And why you don't want to get closer to him."

Fenris closed his eyes with a deep frown on his face. "I know not all mages are evil, I know there are those who never submit to demons and live their whole lives without using blood magic or hurting others. But I just can't look at them differently. They are all cursed by the Maker. They're very existence is a sin. Tevinter is proof of that. The things I saw and experienced when I lived there with my master..." Fenris took a deep breath and tried to control his trembling voice. "It's unforgivable." he murmured in disgust. Fenris could never forget that evil, and he could never forgive mages because of it. But that damn Anders...he caused Fenris doubt sometimes. And he absolutely couldn't stand it.

Anna moved to sit beside him and put her head on his shoulder leaning against him and closed her eyes. "I understand. But it's sad that you are falling instead of floating. Even if you get hurt in the end, the feeling is worth it."

Again, Fenris got the feeling the person he was speaking with was talking about a situation different from his own. He was certain she was thinking of someone else, just as Varric had been. But he wouldn't ask as he'd done with the dwarf. If she wanted to talk about it, she would.

Anna suddenly looked at him and smiled. "Maybe all you need is someone to take your mind off your troubles." Her sweet smile turned into a seductive one. "If you know what I mean..."

Fenris chuckled lightly. "Indeed."

She was right, he just needed a change in things. Then he'd forget about that annoying mage and all the frustration he caused. Maybe he could even return to his normal self again.

But then what would become of him and Anders?

Before any thoughts could come to mind, the feel of Anna's breasts pressing against his arm distracted him. He looked over to her seeing her lean in closer with a mischievous look on her face. "So...still leaving?"

Fenris gave a light shrug with a nonchalant expression. "Perhaps..." He suddenly pushed her back on the bed and crawled over her grinning. "After another round or two."

Anna giggled and rubbed his abs up to his firm chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. "We can go as many rounds as you'd like, hon."

Fenris pressed his face to her neck, kissing and sucking her fair, porcelain skin lightly then rolled over onto his back while pulling her with him so she was on top. They embraced and caressed each other, their sexual excitement rising again as they prepared for another round of hot, passionate sex.

---

There was no sound, the silence was almost deafening. He had no thoughts as he stayed submerged in silent darkness. It wasn't long before his chest began to ache, his lungs burning with a desperate plea for air. Fenris finally pushed up, breaking the surface of his bath water and took a deep breath, easing the pain in his air deprived lungs. He opened his eyes and pushed his wet hair back from his face then rested his arms on either side of the tub, leaning his head back to rest on the rim and closed his eyes again.

Three times. He and Anna had sex three times, and still he didn't feel satisfied. But it wasn't sexual satisfaction he lacked. In fact, he wasn't sure what it was exactly. For some reason, Fenris felt like something was missing, though what it was he didn't know. It felt empty somehow. He felt empty. Maybe it would pass though. After all, he and Anna had only just met. Perhaps he just needed time to get used to his new partner. He didn't know her the way he knew the mage.

Fenris opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. What was Anders doing anyway? Fenris couldn't help but wonder. Was he with that woman, doing the things they once did? Would he even think about him anymore, or had he simply pushed Fenris from his mind?

Fenris realized what he was thinking then growled loudly in irritation and rubbed his face with his hands. What did it even matter? Why would he even wonder about such a thing? The mage found himself a woman and moved on. So what? Fenris didn't care about that stupid mage anyway. With his annoying rants about mages' rights, constant complaining about unfair treatment, dumb mage revolution ideas...sweet lips, tight ass, hard, throbbing co-

Fenris blinked and stood up quickly. His thoughts almost went too far. He got out of the tub and grabbed a towel, starting to dry himself off. He really needed a distraction, maybe someone had a job for him. Killing something would surely help take his mind off things.

Before he could start dressing, he heard a knock at his front door and froze. Visitors weren't very common for him. He moved to the bathroom door and slowly opened it, poking his head out and strained his ears to listen for movement or a voice.

"Fenris, are you home?" a familiar voice called out.

Fenris relaxed and let out a sigh. "Door's open, Hawke." he called back.

He heard the front door open and the sound of Hawke's footsteps as the other man entered the mansion. Fenris picked up his pants that Anna had mended the hole in and called from the bathroom, "Give me a minute, I'm dressing."

"Alright."

Fenris could hear Hawke make his way upstairs to his bedroom and finished putting his clothes on then walked upstairs, vigorously drying his hair with a towel. By the time he entered his bedroom, Hawke was already sitting in a chair at the table. Fenris hung the towel around his neck and took a seat in the chair at the head of the table.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked, already having an idea as to why Hawke was there.

Hawke had a bothered look on his face. "I heard from Varric about what happened this morning."

Fenris raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what did you hear from the storytelling dwarf?" he asked in amusement. Varric liked to embellish his stories, if not make them up completely, but Fenris figured with a situation like this he wouldn't bullshit with Hawke.

Hawke folded his arms. "A troubling occurrence. Anders broke a Circle mage out of the Gallows, one he knew back at the Ferelden Circle before she was sent to Kirkwall. Now he's together with her again, and you two have stopped your relationship."

Fenris looked away from Hawke, leaning back in his chair. "Would you people quit talking like we were some kind of loving couple? It was sex! It's not as if we actually cared about each other or anything."

"Then why did you continue for so long?"

Fenris looked back at Hawke quickly, caught off guard by his question. "Well, because it was...enjoyable, of course. Otherwise, I..."

Hawke's hard expression softened. "If it was just for the enjoyment, you could have found someone else, right? If you hate Anders so much then why not find another partner? It would have been pretty much the same, wouldn't it?"

Fenris became silent for a moment. His eyes shifted to the side as he tried to think of an answer. Finally, he gave Hawke a devious smile. "It wouldn't have been as fun dominating someone other than that annoying mage. It was much more exciting making him submit to me and take it up the-"

"Alright, alright." Hawke quickly interrupted then sighed. "I guess I should have expected an answer like that..."

Fenris folded his arms. "And what kind of answer were you expecting? Did you want me to admit I'm secretly in love with the abomination? What is it with you people? Do you like the man on man thing or something?"

Hawke scratched the back of his head uneasily. "N-no, just...it was kind of nice when you two weren't at each others' throats all the time."

Fenris grinned. "We were at each others' throats still, just in a considerably different way. If it weren't for that collar of his you would have seen my marks..."

Hawke waved his hands. "Ok, ok! I get it."

Fenris found teasing people much more amusing than he used to ever since he started with the mage. He never realized how shy Hawke was about sexual matters. Now that he thought about it, he never knew Hawke to be in any kind of relationship with a woman. He always seemed busy with other matters.

"Hawke, could it be you're a virgin?" he asked with a teasing smile.

Hawke's face grew red and his eyes widened. "W-what? What does that-?"

"Maybe you should get laid."

"Fenris!"

Fenris let out a laugh. "Calm yourself, I'm just joking. Although, I'm told I'm pretty good in bed. If you ever feel like-"

"Ok, I'm done here." Hawke quickly stood. "I get it, you don't want me to bug you about the matter."

Fenris chuckled lightly. "Hm, you figured it out pretty quickly. I didn't even get to try and seduce you."

Hawke put a hand over his face and heaved a little sigh. "And all I wanted was for the fighting to stay over." he muttered.

Fenris's smile faded and he looked up at Hawke seriously again. "What?"

Hawke lowered his hand and looked back at Fenris. "You guys don't fight like you used to anymore. It was kind of nice, and I was even relieved. You know you're both dear friends, seeing you two go at each other like that was painful. I was afraid that...I would one day have to choose between you." he said sadly.

Fenris stared at Hawke, starting to feel some guilt. Was that how he felt? He'd never thought about it until now. Fenris had always been so caught up in his anger and dislike for the mage that he never stopped to think about what it was doing to Hawke. If he'd known he was hurting his friend that way, then...

"I'm sorry." Fenris said, closing his eyes. "If that's what the concern is really about then I'll try not to fight with the mage like before. For your sake, Hawke."

Hawke smiled with a look of relief in his eyes. "Thanks, Fenris. I appreciate it." He hesitated a moment, glancing down, then looked back up at the elf again. "Why do you want it in the first place?" he asked curiously. "I mean, you never showed even the slightest interest in sex before. You always shot down Isabela's advances, and pretty much ignored all women who showed any sign of attraction toward you. So why did you keep up a relationship with Anders? Is it only for the pleasure?"

Fenris leaned forward with his arms on his thighs, staring at the ground. "You've always had your family, haven't you, Hawke?" he asked, not looking up at the other man.

Hawke looked confused by the question. "Well, yeah. Why?"

"Then you've never known loneliness, or the absence of warmth and comfort." Fenris replied with a hint of melancholy in his voice.

Hawke frowned as he stared at Fenris. He'd never thought about that before. He always had his mother, father, Bethany and Carver. But one by one they were disappearing. First his father, then Carver and Bethany...

Sickening memories began to surface, echoing voices from years ago.

"You soulless bastards!"

"Carver!"

"How could you let him charge off like that? Your little brother! My little boy..."

{*}

"You'll take care of it, won't you, Brother?"

"How can I kill my own sister?"

"Because she's asking you to."

Hawke closed his eyes, forcing the memories from his mind.

Fenris sensed Hawke's distress and began to panic, realizing his mistake. How could he have been so foolish? "Hawke, I'm sorry. I-"

Hawke held up a hand and shook his head. He opened his eyes and gave Fenris a small smile, but there was still a sense of sadness about him. "It's ok, really. I know you didn't mean anything by it. But I think I understand what you mean. Maybe I took such a thing for granted. I just...I wish it didn't take losing them to make me realize it. I guess you never know how much something really means to you until it's gone."

Fenris leaned back in his chair again, thinking on Hawke's words. Did he have anything that mattered to him that much? Would it take losing it to discover what it was? He valued Hawke's friendship a great deal, but doubted it was the same.

Hawke turned and started to exit Fenris's room. "I'll talk to you later, let you know if I need your help with any missions or something. I'm going to go see Anders and find out what's going on with him."

Fenris looked up at Hawke quickly. "You're going to see the mage?" he asked, with a little too much interest. He frowned then snorted through his nose. "I'm sure he's just fine. He has Lenora now, after all..."

Hawke turned back to Fenris with a startled look on his face. He suddenly smiled with a sly look in his eyes. "For someone who doesn't care that Anders has moved on, you sound suspiciously jealous..."

Fenris clenched his jaw in irritation, then returned Hawke's smile with a devious one of his own. "Careful, Hawke, I'm known to be a little...rough if someone rubs me the wrong way..."

Hawke's smile faded quickly. "What are you-?"

"We're alone here and no one comes by. If I jumped you now there would be no one to hear you scream and come to your rescue. According to the mage I'm a kind of sexual deviant, and I'm not particularly gentle with men..."

Hawke stared at Fenris in stunned silence. It was funny the way his face was turning bright red. Fenris chuckled lightly, satisfied that his bluff got the other man to stop spouting his nonsense.

"Besides," Fenris continued, before Hawke found his voice again. "why would I care about the mage and his woman? After all, I've found my own."

Hawke recovered from the rape threat and blinked a couple of times, a bewildered look on his face. "What? You mean Varric wasn't making up that part about the tavern woman? I wasn't really sure he was telling the truth. The thought of you following some woman home to have sex just sounds so...not you."

Fenris turned his head, lowering his eyebrows. "It's not as if I'm myself anymore." he mumbled, speaking out loud unintentionally. He cringed when he realized his slip and closed his eyes, waiting for some sort of remark from Hawke.

"Are you unhappy about it?" Hawke asked quietly.

Fenris opened his eyes again, but didn't look back at Hawke. "I feel...wrong. I have been the same way for many years, and now I feel as though I am a person I'm simply not used to being. I always kept my thoughts and emotions in check, and never really felt bothered by most things. Things were so much simpler then, but now it's different. I feel as though I have become unguarded."

"Is that bad?"

Fenris looked back at Hawke as he took a seat again across from him. "Wasn't it lonely, being so distant from everyone? Staying cooped up in this crumbling mansion, only coming around us when asked to join in on missions or invited for drinks or cards at the Hanged Man? You seem more open now, less...broody."

"I don't brood." Fenris muttered. "Now you sound like the dwarf."

Hawke chuckled and gave Fenris a warm smile. "I kind of like you this way, you seem less miserable now. I want you to be happy, after everything you went through you deserve it. I just thought, you know, maybe it was because of Anders you became like this."

Fenris shifted uncomfortably in his chair and glanced away from Hawke. "It was just the sex. It had nothing to do with the mage. I was merely unused to such...treatment. It was completely different from what I've known, and I began to long for it more and more. To be touched, held, kissed. To be wrapped up in a warm embrace, to feel a tenderness I've never known, and to..."

Fenris caught himself and quickly shut his mouth, his face turning red. What was he doing saying these things to Hawke? He didn't want to look at him, but slowly turned his head to look at the other man.

Hawke scratched the back of his head, avoiding eye contact with Fenris. "I uh, ahem, I see..." he said awkwardly, then took a breath to compose himself. "So it wasn't Anders himself, just the comfort you got from the act. I guess that makes sense."

Fenris felt relief that Hawke understood the situation and even confirmed his own thoughts. He became more certain that he didn't feel anything for the mage now. It even put him at ease somehow. The doubt he'd felt caused him distress, and his thoughts made him restless. But now he could relax, he didn't have to doubt anymore.

But there was a puzzling feeling of dissatisfaction inside him that made itself known the more he tried to convince himself that he felt nothing.

Hawke leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful expression on his face. "I suppose it takes being deprived of such a thing to make you truly appreciate the experience. It could probably put anyone in a good mood. Maybe the Qunari need to get laid..."

Fenris chuckled. "The Qunari do not engage in needless sex. Doing so requires them to be 'reeducated'. Sex is basically a low priority among them, even for breeding purposes. So 'getting laid' is just not a thing in their culture."

"No wonder they're so cranky." Hawke muttered, then rose from his chair. "Anyway, I should get going now. I'll talk to you later."

As Hawke began to leave, Fenris called after him. "And Hawke?"

Hawke stopped in the doorway and turned to look back at Fenris. "Yeah?"

"Most of this conversation never happened..."

Hawke feigned cluelessness. "Conversation? I have no idea what you're talking about."

Fenris smiled. "Good man, Hawke."

Hawke gave a nod, chuckling lightly, then turned and left Fenris's bedroom. Fenris could hear the sounds of his departing footsteps then the front door opening and closing as he exited the mansion.

Once Hawke was gone, Fenris leaned back in his chair closing his eyes. He finally obtained the much needed reprieve from the unpleasant feelings that had caused him such discomfort for the past week. Hawke had been right about how Fenris was more 'open' now, but the conversation he'd had with him brought Fenris the sense of relief he sought.

But relief soon turned to regret. Maybe the mage had been right, maybe their 'relationship' should never have started in the first place. If only he hadn't experienced sex or all the emotions and feelings that came with it, things wouldn't have turned out this way. He should have been more vigilant, more driven to maintain his way of life from before. He should never have gone to the mage, or caved in to his curiosity and desire.

But it was the mage's fault, he had tempted Fenris. Of course, Fenris had been the one who asked first. But the mage should have resisted. Then again, he wouldn't have even been with Fenris that night if the elf hadn't been so drunk that he needed to be brought home. But it was the mage's fault for making him get so drunk in the first place. Then again, Fenris probably could have shown more restraint with his drinking.

Fenris exhaled sharply with a frustrated growl coming out at the end. His thoughts were simply going in circles and exhausting his mind. Maybe there was no single point to blame for what happened. It didn't matter now, what was done was done and there was no changing it. He couldn't go back to the way things were before. But maybe he didn't have to. Anna was very generous in her comforting ways, and Fenris got the feeling she was gaining the same benefit from him: a way of moving on from someone else.

She hadn't admitted to it, but the implication was there when she spoke of love. Fenris wondered what had happened. The same thing that happened to him perhaps? Maybe that's why they seemed to connect. Regardless though, he had gained the relief he so desired and that was all that mattered. But for some reason, he still felt a strange sense of unease.

No matter, it would probably pass.

Fenris stood and looked out the narrow window of his bedroom. The sky was turning a deep orange from the dying light of the setting sun. Though it hadn't turned completely dark yet, Fenris was weary from the day's events. He pulled the towel that hung around his neck off and dropped it on the table before heading over to his bed. He removed his gauntlets and chest plate, but didn't bother with the rest of his clothes and plopped down on the bed. Now that he was at ease, he was certain he could sleep well again. Fenris closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep almost immediately.

---

The next week and a half was both familiar and different to Fenris. He felt some comfort in the familiarity of everyday deeds such as taking on a job, going to the Hanged Man, or accompanying Hawke on a mission when asked. It was almost the same routine. Except now, the mage's presence had all but vanished from his life. Fenris hadn't seen him since the day he went to him injured and was sent away with the message that the mage was done with him. At least, that's how it felt to him. There was a strange empty feeling left by Anders's absence, and it seemed Fenris wasn't the only one who felt it. None of the others had seen Anders much either. Even when Hawke went to see him the mage had stated that he was 'busy' and couldn't lend his assistance on missions. Fenris didn't have to guess at what he was busy doing. Or who.

Not that he cared, of course, because he had something to do himself. The one thing that made his routine different from before. He made an effort to visit Anna everyday to 'vent' frustrations, but at the same time to find some comfort in conversation with her. Aside from being great in bed, he found her to be a good listener who had kind and soothing words. Fenris found he looked forward to talking to her almost as much as he looked forward to sex. Possibly even more. The more acquainted they became, the more he grew to appreciate her companionship. But despite how close they had grown, it still felt like something was missing. He had thought Anna would fill that empty space and the feeling would disappear, but it hadn't. He still had the sense of dissatisfaction that had been eating away at him since breaking things off with the mage. Fenris thought it had finally passed after the conversation with Hawke back at his mansion, but he found that the longer he went without seeing or hearing from the mage the more the feeling grew. Perhaps it was because something he was so used to was suddenly gone, and he hadn't had time to adjust. Fenris was kind of a creature of habit, so it was probably normal that he would feel thrown off by the absence of something that had been around him for years. All he needed was more time, and things would be fine again.

All he needed was time.

{*}

"Please, Hawke!" Merrill pleaded desperately. "Give me the Arulin'Holm!"

Hawke and the others were traveling the path from the Dalish Camp back to Kirkwall and Merrill had been bugging him practically the whole time. He continued staring straight ahead without looking back at the begging Merrill. "I don't know if I should, Merrill. The Keeper seemed very adamant and-"

"But I need it to fix the Eluvian! I know I can do it, I just need the Arulin'Holm!" Merrill touched Hawke's arm. "Please, Lethallan." she said gently.

Though Hawke still didn't look at Merrill there was a slight flinch when she used the term of endearment. Even though he was a warrior, Hawke was also a softy deep down.

"Just give it to the witch, Hawke." Fenris grumbled. "Maybe we'll get lucky and a demon will come out and eat her."

Merrill looked back at Fenris with an angered glare and Hawke sighed heavily. "That's exactly why I'm not giving it to her, Fenris."

Fenris shrugged his shoulders. "Hm, your call."

Merrill crinkled her nose at Fenris then turned her attention back to Hawke and took hold of his arm. "Hawke, I-"

Hawke suddenly jerked his arm away wincing in pain and sucked in sharply through his teeth. Merrill pulled back quickly in surprise. "Oh! Hawke, your arm!"

No one had noticed the blood stain on the material over Hawke's arm where there was a break in his armor. He gripped his wounded arm with a slight grimace on his face. "It's fine, it's just a flesh wound."

"It must have happened during the fight with the Varterral. We need to get back to Kirkwall quickly to get it treated. I...I can't do healing magic." Merril confessed meekly.

Fenris snorted with a scowl. "Big surprise, the blood mage can't do something to help people."

"Fenris!" Hawke gave Fenris a warning glare then looked at Merrill. "It's fine, it's nothing serious. I'll be ok until we get back to Kirkwall."

Merrill nodded, but still had a look of guilt on her face. "It'd still be better if I were a healer, like Anders."

At the mention of the mage, Fenris remembered the balm he had given him for his arrow wound. Fenris quickly reached into the pouch on his belt and took the small jar out then walked over to Hawke. "Here, put this on and see if it helps."

Hawke accepted the jar and examined it. "What's this?"

"I got it from the mage. It's for healing wounds. I didn't need it though, he ended up just healing my wound for me." Fenris felt uncomfortable talking about Anders for some reason. It reminded him of the empty feeling he couldn't seem to get rid of.

Hawke started applying the balm to his wound. "Wow, this stuff feels great. That's Anders for you."

Fenris folded his arms. "You mean being more useful than the witch even when he's not here?"

Merrill pouted and Hawke glared at Fenris again. "I said knock it off."

"No, you didn't."

"Oh. Well...it was implied!"

Varric chuckled and grinned. "Relax, that's just Elf's way of showing how much he misses Blondie."

It was Fenris's turn to give an angry glare. "Don't be ridiculous, dwarf. I would simply rather that annoying mage over the witch any day. He's actually useful. Plus he doesn't drag us into battles that causes a bunch of people to get killed by some big rock...monster...thing."

Merrill frowned deeply, clenching her fists tightly as she held back tears. "That wasn't my fault and you know it! I had nothing to do with the Varterrall attacking the hunters. I wasn't even in the camp when it happened!"

"Well that 'Paul' guy wouldn't have been killed if he hadn't run away in fear from a certain blood mage..."

Merrill's large eyes widened then she grabbed her head squeezing her eyes shut. "No!" she cried. "Pol...Pol's death wasn't my fault! It wasn't!"

Hawke took a firm hold of Fenris's shoulder. "Enough." he said sternly. "What happened back there can't be undone. Torturing poor Merrill won't change anything, and it certainly won't bring the deceased Dalish back."

Fenris sighed through his nose and accepted the jar of balm when Hawke handed it back to him. He was just feeling some frustration at having Merrill replace Anders in their group. He really would rather him instead of her, but he wasn't entirely sure if it was only because she was a blood mage and he wasn't. She was a little too stupid to pose that much of a threat, after all. Merril was a really bad blood mage, but not bad as in 'evil' as 'just not good at it'. Even so, he truly hated her. He wished the mage would come back already.

After having that thought, it made Fenris wonder if he really did miss Anders. His eye twitched at the thought and he silently reprimanded himself.

"Let's get going." Hawke said as he looked over at the sun setting on the horizon. "I want to get back to Kirkwall before it gets dark."

As they began traveling again, Merrill was close on Hawke's heels once more.

"Please, Hawke."

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No!"

"Pretty please with sugar on top?"

"Merrill!"

"Just let her get devoured by a demon already, Hawke."

"Fenris!"

"It's going to be a long walk back, eh, Bianca?"

---

Fenris kissed along his partner's neck, drawing a sweet groan from their lips. He brushed their ear with his lips and whispered. "Are you ready for it?"

"Hurry, give it to me."

Fenris grinned, feeling the tingle of excitement in his groin. He kissed their lips lightly while positioning himself then slowly began pushing himself inside, feeling the sweet sensation of warm muscles tightening around his hard dick. He never grew tired of it.

Arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he began thrusting slow and hard. A low moan escaped his lips and he pressed his face against their neck, gripping their hips tighter.

"More..." A voice whispered into ear.

Fenris shivered with excitement and began moving his hips faster, kissing and sucking on the soft skin of their neck. The moans and sounds of pleasure grew louder and more intense as Fenris drove himself roughly into the hot tight hole that squeezed and gripped his throbbing erection tightly.

"Ahh...I'm almost...!"

Their arms tightened around his neck and they arched their back letting out a cry of ecstasy upon orgasming, their body shuddering with pleasure beneath Fenris. He groaned and panted heavily continuing to move his hips, but felt no closer to his own climax.

"I missed you."

Fenris slowed his movements to a halt, then lifted his head and looked into a set of amber eyes gazing back at him. Anders caressed Fenris's cheek and brushed it lightly with his thumb. Fenris swallowed hard and quickly pressed his lips to the mage's, kissing him deeply.

"You'd better not leave me again, mage." he whispered. "Or I don't know what I'll do..."

Anders gave him a warm smile. "How could I? I..."

{*}

Fenris bolted upright in bed panting heavily. His heart was racing and he was drenched in sweat. It took a moment for his head to clear before he came to his senses. Fenris closed his eyes and hung his head, putting a hand over his face. It was that dream again.

Each night they seemed to grow more vivid, and it tormented him. He'd been trying hard to forget the mage and the passionate days and nights they spent together over the past few months. Almost half a year of tender kisses, warm embraces, and sweet ecstasy came to an abrupt halt, and though Fenris had found himself a new very satisfying partner, the mage was still on his mind. He couldn't understand why. He had a new partner, he got everything from Anna that he'd gotten from the mage and then some. So what was it that kept Anders on his mind?

Fenris lowered his hand letting out a sigh and opened his eyes. He frowned upon looking down to see his hard erection protruding beneath his pants. It was like this every time. He placed his hand on top of the hard, throbbing member, feeling its heat even through his pants. He rubbed his hand up and down the length a couple of times, then yanked his hand away, refusing to satisfy himself to the thoughts of those dreams.

Fenris swung his legs over the side of the bed, deciding he'd take a cold bath to calm himself down. When he stood and took a step he felt a sharp pain in the bottom of his foot and jerked it back, cursing in Elvish. Fenris looked down to see his belt on the ground where he had dropped it and picked it up, reaching into the pouch he had stepped on and removing the offending object that had hurt his foot. He held the jar of healing balm in his hand and stared at it. He didn't even need it, so what was the point in having it? Maybe he should just give it to Hawke or something.

Or maybe he should return it. It at least gave him a reason to go see the mage. Their last meeting had ended awkwardly and it had been a rather unsatisfying departure. Maybe if Fenris gained some kind of closure it would help him move on more easily. And maybe it would help bring an end to those dreams, as well as the feeling of emptiness that seemed to plague him the last couple of weeks.

Fenris tossed the jar up lightly and caught it again. "Worth a shot..." he murmured to himself. Opening the pouch of his belt, he placed the jar back inside, mulling the plan over in his mind as he did so. He had no way of knowing whether it would work or not unless he tried. Though it made him feel like he was being ridiculous deep down, he decided he would do so.

Right after that cold bath, of course.

{*}

The door to the clinic was closed as usual. Fenris walked up clutching the jar of balm in his hand. "Let's get this over with..." he thought to himself. The more he thought about what he was doing, the more foolish he felt. It was almost embarrassing even. Determined to do this quickly and be on his way again, Fenris reached for the door handle.

"I love you."

He halted in mid-reach at the words that reached his ears from the other side of the door. His eyes widened slightly and he felt cold all over. He recognized Lenora's voice, and he didn't have to guess who she was talking to.

"I'm ready now, so let's go back to Ferelden. Let's leave this terrible place and go home."

"Yes," a male voice responded. "and when we get back we can finally get married and start a family. There's nothing left for us here now. All we need is each other."

Fenris felt a sharp pain in his chest. The jar he was holding slipped from his hand and dropped to the ground.

"Oh, Andy..." Lenora replied lovingly.

Silence followed, and it wasn't hard to figure out what their lips were doing now that they weren't being used for speaking anymore. Fenris's body grew tense with anger and he gritted his teeth, scowling angrily. He spun around on his heel and began storming off. His chest was aching and his eyes stung with a painful heat unfamiliar to him. He never imagined the mage would run away from Kirkwall with that woman, let alone run away to get married and have a family. Especially after all that talk about Grey Wardens and their fate. Could it be he was just telling Fenris that to push him away? To make it easier to convince Fenris to break it off with him so he could move on with Lenora?

The more he thought about it, the more Fenris's anger grew. It continued to swell up inside of his chest until it felt like he would burst. He needed to calm down, to find some relief. There was only one person who could help him with that.

---

Anna hummed softly as she dragged the rolling pin back and forth on the dough she planned on making into pie crust. Her curly, golden orange hair was pulled up into a bun, a few tendrils hanging loose in the back. She wiped her forehead with the back of one arm, getting more flour on her face as she did so. Just a couple more pies and the next day's stock would be ready for sale at her bakery.

An abrupt knock at her door took her by surprise and she set down the rolling pin, grabbing a towel and wiping off her face as she walked to the door. She hung the towel over her shoulder and opened the door to find a grim faced Fenris standing before her.

Anna blinked, looking startled. "Fenris? What's-?"

Before she could finish her sentence, Fenris backed her inside swinging the door shut behind him and grabbed her up making her take hold of him with her arms and legs. She let out a little gasp and gripped him tightly while he carried her to her room then dropped her on the bed. He crawled on top of her and ravaged her neck with his lips and tongue while fondling her breast through her dress. He pressed his hips into hers, rubbing his hardening manhood between her legs, pressing into her pussy and growing more erect from the sweet friction. Anna let out a little moan and pushed her hips up against his, pressing her lower body harder against the throbbing member in his pants.

Fenris grasped the front of her dress and yanked the top open, popping the buttons and releasing her supple breasts. Anna let out another soft gasp but made no complaints, instead seeming to be more aroused by the show of force. Fenris grasped an erect nipple with his lips and sucked on it roughly, squeezing her breast gently and being cautious of his gauntlets. She let out a soft groan as he flicked his tongue over the soft, pink flesh and fondled the other with his hand. He moved over to the other breast and swirled his tongue around its nipple, giving it a gentle bite then sucked on it soothingly.

Fenris released her breasts then reached down with both hands and grabbed her legs beneath the knees, thrusting them open. He moved down on his knees lifting her dress out of the way and buried his face between her legs, pressing his lips to her lower lips through her panties. He kissed and sucked on her clitoris through the material, teasing it with his tongue until the silk cloth was wet with his saliva and her juices. Anna groaned and squirmed, leaning her head back and moving her hips as her pussy started growing hotter. She gripped the pillow beneath her head, her legs trembling from the sweet pleasure. "Ahhn..."

Fenris grabbed the sides of her panties and pulled them down with force, quickly taking them off and returning to licking her wet pussy. He gripped her thighs and lifted her hips up, arching her back so her legs were over her chest and delved his tongue deep inside of her making her moan in pleasure. He probed her wet insides with his tongue and swirled it around feeling the muscles contract with the movements.

Anna's excitement grew as he continued to pleasure her with his tongue and lips until she couldn't wait anymore. She panted heavily and looked up at Fenris with flushed cheeks. "H-hurry, put it in me..." she begged.

Fenris pulled his tongue out and lowered her hips, happy to oblige her request. He undid his pants and positioned the head of his dick, pressing it to her hot, wet hole, then slid himself in deeply letting out a low groan of pleasure. He entered all the way to the base and began thrusting deep and hard, moving his hips slowly. He leaned in over her, reaching deeper inside and hitting her sweet spot each time he pushed into her. Anna wrapped her arms around his torso and gripped his back with her fingertips pressing into his skin. Fenris moaned and began thrusting harder, feeling her nails dig into his back. He buried his face against her neck, breathing in the scent of her sweet perfume. Fenris felt her hot tight pussy squeeze his throbbing dick, her moans and gasps of pleasure filled his ears and heightened his excitement. He shuddered as he drove his dick into her with more speed and force.

Anna clutched him tightly letting out louder cries of pleasure. "Ohh...Fenris!"

Gritting his teeth, Fenris suppressed his own rising orgasm. He squirmed and struggled to hold back, feeling Anna's muscles tense as she grew closer to her climax. Finally, Anna let out a cry of orgasmic bliss and her pussy squeezed and gripped his throbbing dick, her hot cum drenching his erection. Fenris grabbed his pulsing manhood and pulled out quickly, mounting her chest and slipping his wet dick between her soft breasts. He squeezed and pressed them against his erection and began thrusting his hips, his moans growing more intense with his rising orgasm. Fenris gave a final thrust and released his load into Anna's awaiting open mouth and tongue, some of it landing on her face as well.

Fenris let out a soft groan and shuddered with waves of pleasure coursing through him before plopping back on the bed. He remained sitting up and leaned back on his hands as he tried catching his breath. Anna sat up as well, seeming a little dazed from her orgasm, while the semen that had missed her mouth ran down her face.

Fenris blushed lightly. "Sorry." he murmured sheepishly.

Anna chuckled. "No worries, hon." The towel she had slung over her shoulder before answering the door had fallen off onto the bed when she was dropped on it. She picked it up and cleaned her face and chest between her breasts. Anna adjusted her dress to tuck her breasts away, but there was no closing it anymore now that the buttons had all been popped off.

Fenris scratched the back of his head. "S-sorry about that too..." He grew embarrassed by his untamed behavior; he had never been very rough with Anna. Not like with the mage, at least.

Anna got out of bed and moved to her wardrobe taking the ruined dress off. "It's ok, I'll just let you buy me a new one." She smiled at him playfully then took another dress out and began to change.

"Now that that's out of the way," she began, after putting on a change of clean clothes. "want to tell me what's wrong?"

Fenris sat on the edge, having already closed his pants back up, and leaned back on his hands. "What makes you think anything is wrong?" he asked, even though he knew he couldn't escape her woman's intuition.

Anna walked back over and gave his soft white hair a playful ruffle. "You're easy to read when you're emotional, kind of like a little kid."

Fenris smoothed his hair again with a soft chuckle, then glanced back down as his smile faded into a troubled frown. "I just...overheard an unpleasant conversation, that's all."

Anna took a seat beside Fenris, her face serious now. "What kind of conversation?"

Fenris leaned forward placing his arms on his thighs and stared at the ground. "I heard the mage talking with that woman, Lenora. They plan on returning to Ferelden soon, and they're going to get married and have a family. It's as though I've been tossed aside like some object that's worn out its use. I've basically been left behind once again. At least when Danarius left me in Seheron it was because he had no choice. But this time..." Fenris closed his eyes and hung his head. What had he been expecting? It wasn't like he was going to stay with a Grey Warden mage abomination forever. So why did he feel betrayed?

Anna looked at Fenris with a sorrowful look and reached up to gently stroke his hair, but this time not even her touch could soothe him. He had always found comfort in her kindness, but his angst was simply too much. It felt like nothing could ease his discomfort. He had been denied the closure he was hoping for, and he couldn't face the mage now. He didn't even want to. It was time for him to move on, whether he was ready to or not.

Fenris wished now more than ever that he'd never become intimate with Anders.

"Are you ok with this?" Anna asked. "Maybe you should, I don't know, talk to him. It might help if you get your thoughts off your chest. You haven't spoken to him for the past couple of weeks or so, right? Perhaps that's why you're so bothered."

Would that really ease the tension he felt in his chest? Sometimes it felt like something was squeezing his insides, wrenching his heart, and he didn't know how to make it release him. What was this feeling? Fenris didn't know what name to give it, but he had to wonder...was it the feeling called 'heartbreak'?

Fenris turned his head and exhaled softly. "I don't know what it would accomplish. It's not as though it'd convince him to stay in Kirkwall, to not elope with Lenora and have the family he really seems to want. And he definitely wouldn't come back to me." Fenris paused for a moment. "N-not that I want him to or anything." he quickly added.

Anna placed a hand on his, though he couldn't feel the touch through his gauntlet. "You know, the more time you spend with someone intimately, the greater the chance you'll grow fond of them and start to care for them. Even if you two fought a lot, you shared moments where all of that was forgotten and all there was was passion and affection."

Fenris looked at Anna, growing slightly red. She was making it sound too romantic. "That's not it! It was only lust, nothing more! There's no way I'd be fond of that annoying mage."

"Then why are you upset that he's leaving?" Anna asked with a little smile.

Fenris blinked, unsure of what to say. Why was he upset anyway? He scratched the back of his head, feeling anxious. "I...just don't like feeling used. I feel like all that time we spent together I was simply some substitution for Lenora. I was just a replacement for another person."

Anna's eyes widened slightly and she grew rigid, a somewhat nervous look on her face. "W-well, I'm sure that's not what he meant, you might just be misunderstanding the situation. M-maybe he was sincere because he had no intention of being with her anymore, and he wasn't really trying to use you or make you feel that way. He might have decided he was ready to move on, and since you were lonely too he may have thought you could help each other out."

Fenris looked at Anna in puzzlement; the way she was acting seemed odd. "Why are you making excuses for him?"

Anna glanced down quickly. "Uh, no reason. I just thought, you know, maybe you're taking it the wrong way."

Fenris raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued by her behavior. "Is something wrong?"

She looked back up at him, a sad smile on her face. "I just don't want you to feel hurt. I don't like it when the people I care for are unhappy."

Fenris's face softened and he relaxed himself. Perhaps he was misreading her. After all, his sense of judgement wasn't always that great. He gave her a small smile. "Thank you, I appreciate your concern."

Anna patted his hand with a look of relief in her eyes then stood. "Come on, how about a slice of pie? What flavor do you like?"

Fenris stood and followed her back to the kitchen. "Uh, well, I like apple. But aren't these for your bakery?" He took a seat at the table.

Anna cut a piece from an apple pie she had made and served it to him with a smile and a slight shrug of her shoulders. "No worries, hon. If I need more I'll just come back here and make another. That's one of the perks of having your home and business in the same building."

Fenris nodded and began eating his pie, but felt a little strange. He got the feeling that he was like a child being comforted by his mother; an awkward thought to have toward someone he'd just had sex with. After a few bites Fenris looked back at Anna who had resumed her work on the next pie. "Anna, have you ever thought about having children?"

Anna suddenly spun around with an almost stunned look on her face. "W-what?"

Fenris chuckled lightly. "Relax, I don't mean with me. Just in general."

Anna rubbed the back of her neck glancing to the side nervously. "W-well, yeah... I mean, what woman hasn't thought about having children?" She looked back at him. "Why do you ask?"

Fenris shrugged. "You're just kind of...motherly. Sometimes I wonder if this is what having a mother is like."

Anna moved over to take a seat across from Fenris, a curious but concerned look in her eyes. "What do you mean? Didn't you have a mother?"

Fenris looked back down at his half eaten pie and swallowed, though there wasn't anything in his mouth. "Remember what I told you about these markings?" he asked softly. When Anna nodded he continued. "They are lyrium markings, burned into my flesh to give me a special power, something my former master had done to me. The pain...it was...horrible. So much so that my memory was erased by the trauma. I can't remember anything from my past, nothing at all. All I know is the life I lived as a slave to a Tevinter magister."

Anna looked at Fenris sadly, pressing her lips together to hold back the apology she desperately wanted to give him. She settled for reaching over and resting her hand on his, curling her fingers under to touch the skin of his palm so he could feel the warmth.

Fenris allowed her touch, accepting the silent show of sympathy. "I know nothing about my family, if I even had one. I don't know what kind of woman my mother was. Kind and adoring? Strict yet loving? Cold and aloof? Cruel and neglectful? Even if the truth is unpleasant I still would like to know. But because of a magister, a mage, I am denied everything."

Anna's eyes were filled with tears now. She suddenly got up and moved over to Fenris. Without warning, she suddenly took a seat in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, pressing her face to the side of his head as she hugged him. She stroked his hair soothingly and he heard her sniffle lightly. Fenris's face became flushed, now he really felt like a child being comforted by their mother. He sat motionless, unsure of what to do. "A-Anna, you don't have to-"

"Please," she said softly. "let me at least do this for you."

Fenris felt some of his anxiety melt away. His chest had felt heavy, like it was full of lead, and it was almost suffocating. But now, wrapped in a gentle embrace of caring comfort, he felt his guard drop. He put his arms around her and hugged her tightly, shutting his eyes as he felt the stinging heat return to them. Feeling safe while cradled in the warm arms of kindness, for the first time in his current life, Fenris let his tears flow.