I'll update the other one when I feel like I can. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to the fanfiction-updating world, I truly am. I don't own anything.
Sodapop felt like the world was falling around him. He smiled, he laughed, he engaged in conversation at the DX while awaiting the moment he could close himself off and hide in his room. Anything to escape the reality of the situation.
She wasn't really gone, that's what he had told himself initially. However, as the days passed and he failed to see her it began to sink in.
And it hurt.
He took a shuddering breath, gripping the edge of the sink in the employee restroom, trying to keep his composure. One. Then another. One, two, three… breathe. If he kept up the pattern his stomach stopped churning, his head stopped spinning, the lump in his throat disappeared to wherever it awaited another lapse in control.
All this work, and he still saw it every time he closed his eyes. It lurked behind his eyes, a strange sort of nightmare that refused to leave even in the daylight hours.
The corners of the letter bent and curled as the days wore on, paper yellowing, the angry, red return to sender stamp still as blinding as ever.
It still hurt.
Soda rested his forehead on the spotted, scratched surface of the mirror. Another set of deep breaths, but all the air in the room couldn't stop the shaking, did nothing to alleviate the pain that radiated from his core outward.
His chest felt like it was being torn open. The ribcage opened easily, as if it were hinged, the sickening crack of the bones echoing in his ears. Whatever was causing the hurt, it had infected him, he could feel it. It pumped out from his heart, through his veins and arteries. It burrowed deep into his bones and settled in his brain, creating a dull sort of ache and aspirin couldn't take it away.
At long last he pulled back. Another deep, shuddering breath, the occasional sniffle echoing in the bathroom.
He wiped his nose on his sleeve.
Splashed some water on his face.
Stared into the mirror, wondering why there wasn't a gaping hole in his chest. He tried a smile, one meant to dazzle, and even that appeared to be cracking at the edges. Still, it would suffice.
At least until he could hide away again.