She doesn't want to leave him like this. They've both had a difficult and intense couple of days, but Castle's reality has been shaken. He was betrayed by someone he thought he knew, someone so integral to the beginning of his career as a writer. She'd seen firsthand the hurt on his face, the questions raised when Sofia mentioned his father. Kate knows just what it's like to deal one's world being turned upside down, and she needs to make sure he's ok.
She sways into him, bumps his shoulder with her own as they walk together towards the elevator, tries to lighten the moment.
"Hey, why don't we get a bite to eat on the way out?" She asks, just a little shy. Her shoulders rise and her large almond eyes see his in question.
He forces a small smile for her. It's sweet really, that she's picked up on his mood. She's been doing more things like this lately and he loves it. Her voice soft in her request to take him out. Normally he'd jump at her invitation and the chance to be with her outside the precinct. He's not feeling himself though and he doesn't want her to pity him, that's never been a game he's liked to play.
"I'm pretty exhausted," he laments saying as soon as it leaves his mouth.
"My treat," she adds in an attempt to persuade him.
And it's all the convincing he needs. "Only if we can hit the comfort food truck. The mac and cheese with the three different cheeses and bacon on top has been in my dreams for weeks."
"Sure Castle. We can go anywhere you want."
They ride down to the lobby together and leave the precinct, a rush of fresh air hitting their faces as they step out onto the sidewalk. It doesn't feel like a coincidence that the backs of their hands keep brushing as they walk side by side to the food truck parked at the end of the block. Their order is filled quickly and they are able to snag a seat on a bench nearby as an older couple rises and offers it to them with a smile.
He wastes no time digging in. "Umm, this is delicious. Oh, oh and hot!" Castle says fanning the melted cheese in his mouth.
She can't help but smirk at him, "Slow down Castle, no one's going to steal it from you," Beckett teases.
He snatches one of the fries from her basket in retaliation of her tease, stopping to dip it into her ketchup and making a show of popping it into his mouth.
"Just for that you owe me some of your chocolate shake," she says reaching for the frosty cup and taking a long sip of his creamy drink. He's momentarily stunned at her boldness and his eyes are entranced at the way her pink lips curl around his straw. He'd share all of his food with her if she was like this at every meal.
"Hey now, keep that up and you'll have to buy me another one!" He jokingly chides her.
She just smiles back at him before taking a bite of her grilled cheese sandwich. They fall into comfortable silence as they eat and watch the random birds picking at crumbs on the ground left behind from previous diners.
"You know," he says after sip of his shake, "I've never given much thought about my father before. Who he is, where he might be."
"Not even when you were a child?" She asks wiping her hands on the napkin sitting on her lap.
"Not really," he sighs. "We did have to write a paper in Jr. High about our family heritage but, well, you know my mother, she can be somewhat of a storyteller-"
"Yeah, like someone else I know..." she interrupts playfully, and it's just enough to pull a small smile from his mouth.
"Anyway," he feigns exasperation, "she always had these wild stories about our relatives being mind readers and working at carnivals and being larger than life. I guess it was easier to get caught up in that than try to face the truth." He pauses formulating his next words, "She didn't know who he was, or maybe I wasn't," he pauses, "...I wasn't important enough to stick around for."
This is the closest to melancholy that she's ever seen his face, well besides the time Alexis yelled at him for not trusting her to choose her own violin teacher.
"I had no idea you felt that way. You never talk about him," she says shifting her body to the side, towards him on the bench. Her knees bump into his and it's comforting to be this close.
"I mean, I know how hard its been for me losing my mom, but you've lost out too, having never met him. Not being able to even make memories of him."
"Well, I'm not sure it's exactly comparable. Not knowing him, I never mourned him like you have, but sometimes I've felt like there's this...hole. It'd be nice to know who he really was, especially after everything that Sofia said."
Beckett has always been one to shy away from serious topics; from her feelings. He's surprised at the way their conversation has turned out. Over the last few weeks he's felt a change in her that has given him such hope for them.
His heart flys as he watches her reach her hand over to where his is resting against his thigh and she takes it in her own. Her delicate fingers joining his, giving him a gentle squeeze. Castle's eyes are locked on their joined hands in what can only be described as shock until she speaks.
"Well, I'm here. You know if you ever want to talk, or need...someone," she says with the return of her timid voice. The tenderness of the moment tugs at his heart and he knows he's staring at her with much more adoration than he should be but he can't help it. Can't seem to draw his eyes away from her face and when she finally lifts her chin and her eyes meet his, he wants to kiss her so badly.
She wasn't anticipating wearing her heart on her sleeve tonight or finally letting him know without all the subtext how she feels about him. But just like everything else in their partnership, in their relationship, moments with him take her by surprise. She's wondering why she doesn't tell him, tell him now. What are you waiting for Kate?
"Thank you," he says interrupting her internal dialog, "You know the same goes for me too right?"
She smiles as she thinks of all the ways he has consistently been such a true partner to her over the years, "I know Castle. You've always been there for me."
It's so new, but at the same time feels like the most normal thing to sit here, his hand linked with hers. All too soon it seems, she's standing, slipping her hand out of his and taking his trash to dispose of it for him. He doesn't want this to end. He's so afraid that she'll close up and lose what feels so much like progress tonight on that wall of hers.
"Walk with me a little while?" He asks.
Kate bites her lower lip in the way that he simultaneous finds adorable and so sexy before she replies with a simple, "Sure Castle," a smile aimed at the ground as she lets her hair hide her face. He can't help but hope that she didn't want the night to end yet either.
"Actually," she says lifting her face to see his, eyes soft and open, "I'm off tomorrow, so... I'm all yours."