Swinging her shopping bag enthusiastically at her side, Rachel Berry marched toward the exit of the mall. She had a spring in her step and a smile so wide that it most likely could be seen from the second balcony. Sure, she was a tiny, solitary figure in a crowded mall…but she was so happy, she couldn't bring herself to feel lonely. She had just purchased the latest, unauthorized biography on her idol, Barbra Streisand. Nothing was going to rain on her parade.

Oh, dear…

She stopped in her tracks when she saw someone shouldered aside rather roughly by a rude shopper. This caused the man who was knocked into to drop his many packages onto the floor. He stooped down to pick them up, swearing under his breath as he did so. Rachel bit her bottom lip; her eyebrow crinkling in pity…no one had taken notice of this man. If fact, she was sure he was about to get his fingers stepped on if he didn't hurry up with recollecting his things.

People are so rude!

Without a second thought, Rachel practically skipped forward to the shopper in distress, nearly making him jump out of his skin as she did so. She flashed him her mega watt smile and crouched down, picking up a second package and placing it in his arms.

"Hi, my name is Rachel Berry! I couldn't help but notice that you needed some help over here." She chirped. "I'm sorry about what happened. People are just so inconsiderate sometimes."

Rachel could've sworn she saw a spark of gratefulness in the man's brown eyes. It warmed her heart. As they stood up together, he held out his hand which she politely shook.

"Thank you, Miss Berry. My name is Albert." He replied warmly to her with almost a fatherly sort of affection. He did, after all, appear to be at least in his mid 40's. Rachel beamed at him…she just loved the way older men seemed so protective over her.

"You're very welcome, Albert. Would you like me to help you to your car?"

"Yes, please. That would be so nice of you."

Rachel continued to smile as they headed for the mall exists. She couldn't believe how good she felt at the moment.

I've gotten my Barbra book, I got to help out a nice older man today…and he probably sees me for the upstanding young citizen I am! What a wonderful-

Her thoughts were shattered and her smile disappeared from her face as she felt a light pinch on her ass. She blinked; casting him a confused look…he smirked back at her, lust in his eyes.

How dare he! Okay, okay…keep calm, Rachel…

"Are you, by chance, a casting agent?" She asked him sweetly, trying to remain as calm as possible.

"No." He licked his lips as he looked at her.

"Then don't touch me, you dirty old man!" She shrieked on top of her lungs, slapping him hard across the face. Her shrill voice echoed throughout the mall and some people stopped to stare at the odd couple. Rachel narrowed her chocolate colored eyes, peering at him dangerously from under her eyelashes. If looks could kill, this pervert would've been dead ten times over.

Red faced and embarrassed at being called attention to, the man averted his gaze and hurried out. As Rachel glared at his rapidly retreating back, she became aware that dozens of shoppers were staring at her. This was the perfect moment to make a dramatic exit…

Willing her large, brown eyes to well with tears and her lower lip to tremble, Rachel let out a choked sob before turning on her heel to run for the nearest ladies' bathroom. Inwardly, she was thrilled at feeling the concerned gazes of strangers bore into her back as she ran.

Once inside the restroom, Rachel immediately dropped the Judy Garland-in-distress act and pulled her cell phone out of her purse. Leaning against the door, she scrolled through her contacts and pressed "Call" when she got to a name that she never thought she'd be calling…

"What is it, Berry?" Santana picked up on the fourth ring, her tone bored.

"I just wanted to tell you that you were right, San. An old pervert just hit on me and…I guess I do dress like the girls on 'To Catch a Predator'."

Santana's laughter was so loud, it could almost be heard throughout the bathroom.

THE END

A/N: I wrote this because guys twice my age and older always seem to hit on me…it's really annoying and creepy. I really did have a guy named Albert (who was in his 50's) who would not leave me alone for months! I'm sorry if this almost seems like a crackfic. I have an odd, absurd sense of humor. I hope you laughed and enjoyed it!