A/N: I couldn't leave it hanging...
It's probably a bit different - I started the first story years ago, and my writing style has obviously changed. However, I still do my best to do justice to the characters (which are not mine!)
Please drop a review and tell me what you think x
"We have so much work ahead of us – and then there's everything that's happened with Clary. Where do I start?"
Alec stares at Jace, the one person whom he loves the most, the one whom he is closer to than anyone. Alec is reminded of a couple of days ago, where it's Clary standing in Jace's place. Where she begs him to help her, confiding in him of her decision. When it is Clary that is looking at him in the same trusting manner that Jace is now.
"You can leave Kevin, Josh and David to Magnus and I, Jace. You needn't – you needn't worry about them right now. No, Jace. You need to be with Clary, and she needs to be away from this for now. As does my sister."
There is a silence, and Jace looks away for a moment. When he glances back at Alec, his face is not so desolate, not so young anymore.
"What was she thinking?"
Alec's brow creases.
"Who?"
"Isabelle." The name is said tersely, and Alec lets out a sigh.
"You know Izzy, Jace. She has always had the need to prove herself. The sad thing is, she's the only one who needs convincing. She's strong and determined, and she loves Clary, Jace."
"She also takes after the wrong brother."
Alec cocks his head, and waits for Jace to elaborate. He knows he must tread carefully with this particular topic.
"You're the calm one. The one who thinks rationally and logically – and then plans. Izzy and me, we always just dive right in. And it's not such a good thing. She was lucky this time."
Alec can't help himself, he barks out a laugh that startles Jace into turning to him with a scowl.
"I know I'm funny – but really, Alec?"
"Jace, your plan is always to dive in. You're smart and capable enough to thwart anything that sprouts up in the situation. You handle yourself well – as does Izzy. We all have our strengths and our weakness, and together we work well."
"Except for now."
Alec lets out a sigh.
"Yes, this one is going to prove rather... difficult."
"Always the optimist." Jace says to Alec, almost fondly, and then lets out a long sigh.
"Alec, I don't think I can do this. This is – this is wrong. Every instinct I have is telling me to go in there and just kill them. I don't care if they're human. I don't care if they were forced into something. You always have a choice – and they chose to – to –" He turns sharply on his heel, and Alec can see the hand go up and over the mouth. He waits for a moment, knowing that Jace needs the time to gain resemblance of control.
"I know, Jace. I see it every time I look at them, touching my sister, hurting Clary... perhaps, we should send the girls away." His voice conveys his troubles on the idea, but it seems altogether logical.
"I can't imagine that going well. Especially with Clary. I know her – she thinks she needs to be here." Jace's voice is bitter and muffled; he is still speaking through his hand.
"They can come stay at mine. The others, that is." Alec and Jace turn as Magnus walks into the room, closing the door gently behind him. Jace looks at Alec, who is staring at Magnus.
"Are you okay with that?" Alec finds himself asking, and Magnus smiles.
"Of course. It's better than having them here, and besides, if there are any issues, well, I'm a creative person." Magnus winks at Alec, who can't find any humour in the situation. He knows what Magnus is, and knows that he can handle himself, but the image of him catering to the likes of them...
"It's alright, Alec. Besides, this could be somewhat... entertaining and informative for me, and in turn for us all."
Alec tries to keep his face still at the implied threat.
"We want them alive, Magnus." He reminds him.
"For now, anyway," Jace puts in, and Magnus turns to him, looking sober now.
"You need to talk to Clary, Jace. And Alec, you to Isabelle. I will get in touch with the others later. As for Simon's whereabouts, he's trying to find out if the vamps know anything about what Josh was saying."
Jace nods at this, for once not having anything smart to say about Clary's best friend.
Magnus looks back to Alec.
"I'll take them and leave now. Remember – take some time to speak to the girls first, before you do anything else. There's enough of it to begin to fix some wounds. Besides, they'll want to be involved for what happens next, whatever you decide it may be. When you need me, contact me." His gaze is very direct, and Alex tries not to blush under it. No doubt Magnus is talking about his inability to call on him, wanting to handle everything on his own.
Perhaps it is not Jace that takes after him. Perhaps, it is a fault in them both.
"Thank you, Magnus. That helps a lot. Alec," Alec turns to Jace, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes?"
"Should we – should we call your mother?"
There is a stunned silence.
"You want to call my mother?" Alec's tone is of disbelief. It is in this moment that he realises how unsure of himself Jace is, how this has unravelled him, leaving him like a lose thread waiting to be stitched together again by another.
"Not exactly. But this is different. This – this is... bigger. I knew we could handle ourselves before. But Clary's – and Izzy –and if you think we should, than I will support your decision."
"Since when did I make the decisions?" Alec still sounds perplexed, but he is beginning to understand.
"Since the moment Clary came to you." Jace's voice is small. There is no bitterness or resentment, there is no jealousy. Alec sighs, but it is Magnus who speaks.
"Jace, you can make that decision with the rest. For now, there's other things that require your attention. Alec, you know how to contact me. I'll take my leave now. Call on me – for anything." He looks at him sternly, and then disappears from the room as quietly as he entered. Alec stares at the door for a moment, wanting to follow him, wanting nothing more then the assurance that Magnus's presence brings, the compassion that can be felt in a single touch. Alec tears his eyes away and looked back at Jace.
"You said it yourself." Even to his own ears, he sounds weary beyond belief. "We've got work to do."
Clary watches as Isabelle's chest rises and falls. She's only slightly envious of the girl's ability to sleep – because she can't. She's tried to lay down, and close her eyes. Tried to count to ten, then twenty – all the way to one hundred and twenty six before she gave up. She sat up about ten minutes ago, and has done nothing but watch Izzy, her heart full of love for the other girl. Isabelle, who put herself at risk to track down the monsters – though they aren't, they're human, and that's the monstrosity about it – and hold them accountable for what they have done. Who came close to having the same thing done to her. Clary is not surprised that she can feel again. How could she not be moved by what Isabelle has done?
The door opens, and Clary doesn't even try to pretend she's asleep. Light slinks in, and she looks up. It still amazes her that Jace's eyes can shine the way that they do.
"Shh," She puts a finger to her lips, and then points to Isabelle.
"You should be asleep, too." The rebuttal is still there, even with his voice so soft. Clary just shrugs, and swings her feet to the edge of the bed, pushing herself up. Jace lets out a sigh and holds the door open, and she ducks under his arm. He closes it and then turns to face her.
"Do you want some tea?"
She blinks at the request, and then nods. He sweeps his arm to the side, gesturing her to go first, and she blinks again, before stepping forwards to take the lead to the kitchen.
"So formal." Her voice is almost teasing, and Jace fumbles for a response to keep the flow going. But the words stutter and die on his lips, and he finds himself shrugging.
They make their way to the kitchen in silence, and Clary sits down at the table while Jace boils the jug.
"It's been quite a few days," He finally says, and she looks up to meet his even gaze. "We haven't even really talked about..." He pauses and purses his lips, and Clary's hand immediately goes to her stomach.
"I'm sorry Jace. I know I hurt you, but I can tell you – not as much as this was hurting me."
"I wish you could have spoken it out with me. I wish I could have been there for you, at the very least." Jace's response is immediate, and Clary's lips thin. Her hand drops from her stomach and hangs limply.
"I know you would have stopped me. And I know what you must think of me – that I couldn't wait to have this baby...aborted." The words are hard to get out, but she says them and looks him directly in the eye.
The jug clicks off, and Jace turns to make the tea as he thinks up his response. He sets Clary's down in front of her, and then takes a seat opposite her.
"How little you think of me. Something terrible happened to you, Clary. The stuff of nightmares – something I can't fix it, something that my presence makes worse because of the gender I am. I only thought that in the wake of this, you would only be able to see horror. I wanted so much for you to see that this child would have been yours. And not what you thought it to be."
Clary places her hands around the cup and closes her eyes as Jace's words wash over her. He makes sense, but she was, and still is, beyond words. Nothing in her eyes – whether it be a week, a month or a year from now, even if she'd had the child and was holding it – would have changed her mind. How could she tell him this?
She takes a deep breath.
"Jace. You know me, and what I am like when it comes to decisions. I could see clearly, and I still do. I know that I could not support the child, that I could not love it like it deserves. That it would not feel like mine, and would be a link to that night. And besides," She opens her eyes and Jace sucks in a breath at the expression in them. "Raising a child, in this war? I'm sorry my decision to not speak further on this hurt you. I'm sorry I trusted in Alec. I'm sorry that this has hurt you. But I am not sorry about what I did." She squares her shoulders and looks at him. There is a strength within her that she must not see, must not realise she has. She is a bind, that holds not only herself, but reaches out to him, keeping all together. Even in destruction, she stands tall. Jace has always admired that about her. That in the wake of grief, she finds a way to keep going.
He cannot fault her for what she has done. He is hurt that she has had to make a decision such as this in the first place. He is angry, furious –beyond rage at those that have done this to her, and he vows again, like he does in every action and word, that he will find the root to this, and all those that are connected – he will destroy.
"Clary." Her name is familiar on his lips. He likes the way it sounds, and tastes.
"Jace." She studies him, can see all the little cracks on his face, that reach into his eyes and all the way down into his clenched fists. She longs to reach out and touch him, to make him whole again. Her fingers twitch, but other than that, she remains still.
"I need to know. Are we okay?" He sounds so unsure, almost like a child, and Clary finds she cannot sit still any longer. She moves to his side and hesitates, before easing herself down on his lap. Her hands go to the side of his face, and she leans in close.
"We are the only thing that is okay. And that is the only thing I am sure of right now." She whispers, and Jace closes his eyes and lets himself bask in her sweet words, and all that is her. It takes everything in him not to move and to close his mouth over hers, to seal what she has spoken. And somewhere, deep inside, he unfolds, like a plant breaking through the darkness and reaching towards the light.