Emmy's One Hell Of A Journey

(Eyes of Heaven or Hell?)

(PS. I do not own Black Butler or its characters except Emily and her family.)

'I wonder how they're doing in London? They haven't written in months.' Emily wondered miserably as she sat on her bed; cross-legged over floral bed sheets. She felt the water from her damp hair drip down her neck and cheeks. Her bed was soaked through; damp from her clothes, making it smell of mud.

Emily felt lonely and disgusting as she sat there soaking-wet, grabbing the only anime plushie she had hidden in her pillowcase for safe keeping.

She traced the glass eyes and face of the plushie toy lovingly, a hint of sadness in her eyes as she remembered the time she had gotten it. Suddenly afraid of getting caught with it, she put it back.

She lifted herself off her bed, watching the rain hit the window, thinking about her parents scornfully. They never bothered to call her or even remember her sometimes: she despised that.

Emily loved her parents a lot, she really did, but she could not help but feel resentment towards them. The relationship she had with her parents was sharp and loose like paper that would cut her if she was not careful.

Though this was no one's fault but the fault of the one they called "the grandmother", deserving no acknowledgment as a person much less Emily's family. Emily found that the demons she called cousins that she had to live with were no better. Or, rather, two of the cousins were of particular nightmare material.

Jack the smart ass jerk, Paul the stupid tag along and Alexa who was a caring little sister with the fragmented smile. The oh so ghastly Jack and the ever annoying damn fool Paul were nothing but the broken glass in Emily's shoe on a good day. She often wondered if Alexa was bullied by the two demons before Emily took up residence in the upstairs storeroom. She found it a miracle she had a smile at all.

"Jack, Paul, and Alexa! Get down here and get yourselves ready this instant! Before I come up there and whip you all!"

Marie Smith, Emily's evil witch of a grandmother, so dreadful that fairy tales did not even want her, could be heard screeching from the living room, the thumping of fast, frightful, heavy footsteps could be heard beyond Emily's bedroom door.

"I will be having guests here this evening and I'll be damned if you lot ruin it!"

Marie Smith was a very respectable woman with sharp features and eyes that could make you want to pull out your own hair, but when it came to her profession in art, she had a killer reputation, known to be a perfectionist when it came to her work within the art field.

Emily knew her better as the symbol of pure evil. She was a very cruel and twisted person, and a woman so deeply obsessed with her art that if someone were to so much as hint at a frown regarding her work they would soon find out that her pallet knife was used for so much more than removing oil paint.

Emily could only guess if it was envy or madness that made Marie develop so much hatred for Emily and her cousins. They learned that stepping towards or so much as touch her skills would lead to some incredibly thin ice. Emily learned to hide her drawings or anything she held dear, and so did her cousins.

'Oh come on, what are they doing now? Well, I needed to get up anyway and knowing her she's going to call me down too.' Emily dragged herself out of bed with a heavy sigh, letting herself roll out of bed, her head hitting the floor in the process, the room spinning as she pushed herself onto her feet.

She knew that today was going to be like all the other times the witch brought home "guests". Emily liked to think of them more as parasitic snot balls who did not have anything better to do than judge everything they see. She stripped herself of the dirty wet clothes she had worn outside, tossing the pile to the ground with very little care or interest as to where pieces landed.

Emily did some stretches, feeling a bit rebellious that day, and deciding to take her time after getting dressed into work clothes, she would wear cargo shorts that were already dirty and a red t-shirt when doing her work around the house. She merrily made her way over to her desk. In the small room, she was given it took no effort at all, pulling out a chair that creaked under her light weight. Taking the key, she would keep around her neck at all times, Emily unlocked the single drawer that the desk had. Inside it were the few treasures that she had snagged in her lifetime.

Trinkets of a time gone by. A sunflower button that her mom used to wear, the first volume of 'Black Butler' with its worn out pages and damaged spine from previous readings, some baby blue socks that were far too small for her now, her diary that was still locked up tightly, and a single sketchbook that Emily managed to keep with her when she moved to the witch's palace. She only had two pencils, blue and orange, and she savored their existence with each passing day.

Emily took out her diary to make a quick update of her life. She had done this so many times that it was easy for her to glide along the paper like the wind. Wasting no time at all, Emily put her diary away for safe keeping, and she then took her sketchbook out, about to open it to start drawing when heard the witch's screeching.

"Emily! Who do you think you are!? Queen Sheba!? Get down here and get to work now!"

With a determined, not-truly-there smile pressed onto her face, Emily let out a loud sigh. She once again hid her sketchbook back into the drawer, hearing the satisfying click of the lock sliding into place, leaving the key in the lock for quick access. She bit her tongue, trying to concentrate on taming her unruly, knotted brownish-red hair as she put it in a thick messy bun.

"And so it begins."

Emily forced herself to face a new day, grabbing the hairpin that was on her desk. She wore it every day since her mom gave it to her. She put it through her hair, or at least tried to do so. As it kept slipping out, Emily lets a small smile come upon her lips as she caressed the glass butterfly lovingly as it hung off the needle in her hair, but then forced the fake smile back onto her face.

Her eyes were devoid of any emotion, fiddling with her butterfly hairpin, as the shouts in the dining room bounced throughout the hallway. If the grandmother was not already in a venomous mood, her own rebellion and the screaming of her cousins fighting would damn her to less than sweet experiences, her arms still dotted in faint yellows and blues: curse that damn frying pan.

Alexa's voice screech like nails on a chalkboard; voice piercing Emily's ears as she descended the stairs. She made her way to the open living room where the brats and Alexa were, standing there silently as she watched their fight play out.

"Paul! You idiot! That's not the script that's a napkin! "

Alexa looked like a kettle ready to explode. Paul had a look on his face that he frequently used, Emily called it the 'I'm-cooler-and-your-not' look, purple eyes squinted and nose wrinkled.

'Do you even have a brain and will you ever use it?' Emily coldly glared at Paul, but he did not notice her. She figured they were rehearsing for the showcase; they were supposed to star in tomorrow evening.

"Will you ever get a boyfriend, or are you too ugly for that?" Paul was smug as his cold eyes glared down at Alexa. If Alexa were not already flushed in rage, she would have been bright red with embarrassment. Jack laughed like a hyena on the beautiful floral couch. Emily hopped that he would choke as Alexa started to stutter out a clumsy response when the witch Marie Smith's voice cut, loud and clearer than ever, through the whole house. The silence that followed was petrifying still. Emily frowned, knowing what was to come.

"EMILY! There you are! Why haven't you started your work yet! I need to work on what I'm going to wear when the guest comes!"

Marie Smith barged into the room with a permanently fixed smile on her face, frying pan in her left hand, as she pointed a finger towards Emily with her right. Emily only nodded, standing there with her eyes glued to Marie's frying pan.

Emily did not have time to move when she felt the sharp pinches of claw-like nails on her neck. Pressing her lips Emily refused to give a reaction to satisfy the monster holding her; the hawkish gaze piercing through Emily's calm exterior.

"If this house isn't spotless by the time my guests come there will be repercussions. Do you understand?" It was not a question, and Emily knew that. She knew what would happen if she continued her rebellion, keeping her head low. With her hands folded together in her lap, she bowed and apologized. "Oh enough of you, I've wasted enough time but know this Emily Ann Pookster… this will be your only warning."

She understood.

Emily put down the silverware, making sure they were in the proper order. She went back to the stove where she was cooking eggs, bacon, and sausages. The phone rang and Emily could hear Marie come down the stairs, every click of her heels telling everyone to stand clear, as she could hear her pick up the phone.

"Ah! Beth, it's nice for you to call, yes we are just getting ready for the day… haha…"

Emily felt disgusted whenever the grandmother would put up that fake mask of cheerfulness. She ignored the grandmother and continued making breakfast. Once set, she snuck back into the kitchen, clumsily mashing a sandwich together before cramming it into her pocket, feeling the grease of butter on her fingertips.

Emily was nervous as she watched the family eat at the dinner table from the kitchen. She feared what Marie would think of the food, but for once the grandmother approved. Emily eats her sandwich slowly, relishing in the taste of it. She was rarely given food, but when she was they only allowed her to eat it in the kitchen.

She was silent as she washed the dishes, her hands blistered and wrinkly from being in the hot, soapy water for too long. It was a blessing that her fingers did not get infected the way they were, but she moved quick enough, determined to make up for lost time as she could hear the shouting continue upstairs.

Marie would be expecting her to be ready soon. When the witch, Marie Smith, made her way back downstairs, the tips of her heels hitting the hardwood, she looked beautiful. The grandmother was not an ugly woman per se: just a terrible one.

The grandmother made her way into the kitchen, a stain in glamorous white, with a frown upon painted lips. Emily waited patiently, as she had finished the dishes before she entered, standing to face the woman that thought of her as a servant. With the knives so close, she wondered whether Marie thought her a good target as well.

"You can hardly call that suitable for showing my guests, go upstairs and wear that blue dress you keep hidden away," Marie ordered and with a nod Emily made to slip by the grandmother when a wrinkled hand snatched her right arm painfully, she winced as her arm was pulled up. Critical emotionless eyes scanned the beaten limb. "And wear the cardigan too." Marie had a chipper voice. Emily did not say a word as her arm was released from her clutches, waiting until she was no longer in hearing range and looking at her, Emily sneered; cursing the woman.

As Emily slowly made her way up the old wooden stairs, she found that her door was open. Crossing her fingers, she prayed that it was Alexa that was in her room, rather than Jack. Even Paul would have been better: he had no brains to know what to do if he was in there.

She was quiet as she stepped inside the cramped room. The smell of old oak wood and cherry perfume filled her nose, she liked to keep the air smelling nice, but she found no one inside. She could only see her bed, desk, and closet.

'Weird I could have sworn I closed this door…' Emily was confused, but while normally Emily would check under the bed or behind the door for Jack and Paul, she felt herself drawn to the closet as she turned to face it. The only thing that mattered was the order telling her to get dressed properly. Something in her told her to forget the order, but she knew that it would not be wise to poke the sleeping beast again.

"Okay Emily you got to wear the blue dress, now where did you put it?" Emily muttered to herself before the closet door smacked open with a bang. "AHH?!" Emily screamed in surprise as a blur of pink made a beeline for her, the weight caused her and the blur to topple over, her head hitting the floor as she felt the air get squeezed out of her lungs, the iron grip of Alexa hugged her down.

"Emmy! I'll love you forever please, Help me!" Alexa begged, Emily as she squeezed her even tighter. Emily, giving an annoyed sigh, pushed Alexa off. "Now I know that this seems weird and what would cause Alexa to do this, it's easy: can you curl my hair?"

"Fine, but go get your iron," Emily whined getting back up onto her feet as Alexa did the same. She went to her room before coming back with the iron and took a seat at Emily's desk chair as Emily got her brush.

"Emmy why are you so good at this?" Alexa looked up at Emily who stared at Alexa in confusion, starting to curl Alexa's still damp hair

"What do you mean by, 'this' Alexa?" Emily raised an eyebrow at her younger cousin, a slight frown on her face as she started to brush through thick knots.

"Oh, you know like doing hair, writing, and drawing. Come on Emily, tell me your secret please!" Alexa gave Emily wounded eyes through the mirror that was on Emily's desk, she just smiled at Alexa fondly.

Alexa had not prepared for the guests, so Emily thought, as she combed through the damp hair with her fingers. This visit was not planned like the others. Still, to her it was a bit satisfying to know she was not the only one getting bossed around today, eyeing her cotton blue dress in her closet.

The closet looked as though it could drop any second and if it did she had no room to escape. If it happened, maybe she would be free from her torment. It was a morbid thought that scared her to no end and she knew Alexa would be sad if it did happen.

Finishing the first lock, Emily realized that she was only half listening to her cousin's babbling.

"I mean, you know how to do pretty much everything, well that's what I have seen. You can cook, clean, write, draw and even curly hair! I want to be just like you Emmy! Tell me how do you do it?"

Alexa continued to talk as Emily's found smile slipped. She stared at her blistered hands and found that there was a strange grin on her face. Alex was not very aware of what she had to put up with as she thought about what Alexa said to her.

'She wants to be like me? Well, I wonder what she would think if she really knew…' Emily thought, the grin spreading further onto her thinning face, Alexa noticing immediately.

"What are you grinning for Emmy?" Alexa puffed out her cheeks in a sulking manner as Emily chuckled, she grabbed hold of both sides of the chair tightly.

"That, my dear cousin, is what happens when you believe in faith, trust and pixie dust!" Emily yelled with a giggle as she spun the chair fiercely, making, Alexa's spin around wildly as she struggled to hang onto the chair for dear life.

"HAH-AHA! Stop! Emily that's not an answer!" Alexa was annoyed as Emily stopped spinning the chair, Alexa spitting out her tongue. She put her head in her hands as her elbow supported her on the desk, round cheeks still puffed out. She looked to be three in that moment. Emily knew no matter how tempting it was to tell someone it was her own fight, and she feared of consequences for both of them. After all, Marie Smith was a cruel woman. "Aww! Hey, Emmy why don't you show me that hairpin of yours? You always wear it around."

Alexa looked hopeful as Emily finished Alexa's hair, Emily pausing for a moment to wonder whether it would be a good idea. The pin was precious to her but it held no value to anyone else, so she went to grab it out of her messy bun to show Alexa when she noticed that it was not there.

"Stupid little-," Emily muttered annoyed, she forcing herself to calm down. She was the oldest, and she should act like it, breathing outwards through her nose, she heard Alexa snickering behind her with a grin. Not a good start to the day. Emily shoved a sheepish smile back, her embarrassment showing on her face. She thought that she lost her hairpin downstairs.

"Here let me help you…"

Alexa gave a kind smile as she helped Emily look downstairs for it. Emily was grateful that Alexa wanted to at least attempt to help her find the hairpin, but it was no use as Emily found that Alexa was never good with patience. Once they reached the study, it was clear that Alexa did not want to help anymore.

"Why do you wear that thing anyway?" Alexa whined with frustration as she pulled back her hands away from the old antique bookshelf on the left side of the study. She sat on the floor not noticing or caring for her messed up dress. Emily looked at her with an understanding smile. "It's impossible to get on and you always lose it! It makes no sense to me."

Emily had to look away, the familiar pressed lips and squinted eyes trying not to show her frustration and worry. She feared that the grandmother would find them and demand an explanation. Or worse, Jack would find it.

"Oh! So what have we here." It was the sarcastic voice that Emily knew far too well. She did not want to turn around to see her nightmare become a reality, but she had to. Emily turned around to find the devil's child in all his arrogance giving all of the answers she wanted.

"Hey! Give that back! That belongs to Emily!" Alexa screeched in anger, Emily's eyes were like venom as they stared at Jack as he spoke.

"Why would I ever do that Alexa?" He stated, lifting the pin out of Alexa's reach not that she was brave enough to grab it. No one tried to mess with Jack; he was the golden child.

"Knock it off Jack! Give Emily her hairpin back! It was from her mother!" Alexa exclaimed at Jack with a glare and instantly wanted to take her words back, but Emily knew once those words left Alexa's mouth that was it. Jack didn't need to know anymore. Emily cursed herself under her breath. A cold smile appeared on Jack's face as Emily's calm act fractured and she hated Alexa for speaking, cursing herself again for even letting him get to her this time.

"Oh really? Your poor mommy who ditched you to go drinking with Her Royal Highness gave you this?" Jack vicious voice rang in her ears as his fingers held on to both ends of the hairpin. Emily tried to move but knew it was too late. He snapped it in half. The smile that was on his ugly face did not reach his eyes, Jack bolting down the hall with the hairpin still in his clutches as Emily frantically ran after him.

"Jack! Stop! Please!" Jack made it to the front door hearing Emily's pleas, as he stopped to look back at Emily with a dark grin. Jack opened the front door and threw the pieces of the hairpin out into the storm outside. Emily watched as the glass butterfly shatter as it hit the pavement of the road, she then looked at Jack in horror.

"Well, look at this! I guess he decided to leave you too just like your parents left you!" Emily went strangely quiet at Jacks comment. She turned and ran into the storm outside ignoring Alexa's screams of protest. Picking up the pieces of her hairpin that were laid up the road, but she could not find the butterfly piece. It simply vanished.

"Emmy get back in here. Or you'll get sick!" Emily got up off the wet ground and stepped back inside the Victorian-style house. She moved in front of Jack and stared at him. There was nothing of particular note in her eyes; nothing but a complete stillness as she held the dripping wet, broken, and dirty hairpin that was now just a needle tightly in her hand. She walked by the duo who both stood, silent as wet feet slapped up the stairs to the attic.

Grabbing her clothes, she did not lose the calm expression on her face. She did not know what else to feel, but after the feeling her teeth grind as she slipped on her cardigan, Emily knew she was furious.

'I could really kill someone right now.'

The visit with the guests was normal as everyone enjoyed themselves, Emily would be allowed to sit at the dining table when there were guests over, but something was different, as the guests and Marie noticed Emily's unmoving mouth and half-lidded eyes. Her mouth was tilted into a slight smile, but it gave them no comfort. She had not spoken a word through the whole meal, and Emily was not a quiet person.

'What's the point of this whole thing…'

After the guest had left, Emily snuck up to her room, locking the door, wishing that her parents would come back from London. She hated it here, but she had to stay. She tried to pull herself together again as she changed for bed and went to sleep in the still damp sheets that covered it.

The next day, Emily got out of bed before her alarm clock went off, she got ready for the day as she felt numb all over. She let the placid expression slip back onto her face as she debated her options.

'Why do I stay here? Should I just run away? …right, like running away is going to fix everything. Not a chance in hell...it would probably make things worse.'

"EMILY!" Emily changed into her damp work clothes, hunger tugging at her. She had only eaten half of her sandwich yesterday, repulsed by the mold that had taken over the bread from leaving it in the damp cargo pants. She would have to hope that she could sneak something from the kitchen, the clothes clinging to her person as she walked down the stairs.

Emily was about halfway down the staircase when the telephone rang, Marie Smith rushing into the main half, the barely awake Jack and Paul standing there, Alexa just coming through. Marie pushed Paul aside as she snagged the phone, her eyes crinkling as she twisted a hideous smile onto her face.

It was a cold morning, and Emily could see that rain clouds were looming above. She was already cold without the rain, but simply knowing it was there put her in a bad mood. Emily, with it still being early enough for her to make breakfast without being yelled at, shuffled quietly towards the kitchen when she saw the façade crack.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you dear."

Something was wrong. Emily could hear it in the way Marie's voice cracked. Her voice never cracked, not unless she was angry. A hand of knotted nerves covered her mouth.

"Thank you. Yes, I understood. Yeah. Goodbye."

When she clicked the phone back into place, Emily thought that she had never seen her grandmother look so human. Sadness was not something she thought she would ever see on her grandmother's face.

How dare she.

How dare she even pretend to be human.

"Emily, honey… there's been an accident…"

Emily did the only thing she knew how to do. The only thing she thought that she could do. She ran.

Emily was not a fast runner. In fact, Emily was known to be one of the slowest runners in the class with her thin legs and broken toes. In that moment, she ran the fastest she ever could through the pouring rain, the cold of water soaking through her shirt and through her trousers, her feet slapping against the pavement. The sharp pain of rocks would prick at her feet whenever she stumbled.

She did not know where she was going, only that she was going.

'This has to be a dream.'

She could not would not, process it as reality, running even when her lungs ached and her chest screamed out for rest. There was a pain there that could not be understood. She refused to understand it, focussing on the stabbing pains in her feet as she stumbled wildly into the forest.

She could not run as fast in the forest, with the slick leaves causing her to fall and trip, stuttering in her escape until she fell. She fell and fell until she hit the bottom of a pile of thick, clay-like mud. The leaves that came with her clung to her skin.

She simply rested in the mud. She could hear the patter of rain droplets hitting the forest leaves, a constant tune without rhythm.

It was over.

This much was clear to her. She understood perfectly, whether she wanted to or not. Her parents would not be coming home. No matter how much she wished for it, they would not be coming back.

There was no reason behind it. Emily thought that if there was a reason for their deaths it would not hurt as much.

She started to laugh, finding a cruel humor in the loss.

There was very rarely any reason for a person's death. The truth of the matter was that it was a simple accident, and with that accident came the end of every single hope she ever clung to. And she ran, so she knew that she could not return home. She could neither return to her actual home or the one that had been created for her against her will.

"It's not fair."

And it was not. Emily's life was not fair, and she had learned to deal with it. There was only a certain level of unfairness that she could deal with before it was too much, and even though she knew that she would probably not go back to her parents, she wanted to hope. She could not even keep a home.

"Just get rid of me!" She turned her despair into anger. Pulling herself up from the mud, screaming at the sky and the clouds above her. "If you hate me that much then just fucking kill me! DO IT!" She howled and she cursed, throwing the mud into the air, trying to attack an enemy that was not there. She cursed and screamed and roared until her throat ached, finding herself exhausted and too bitter to even make a snide comment regarding her own behavior. "Just end it."

As the cold took hold of her, the terrible unforgiving cold, she let her mind drift. She was always known to do something reckless when she was upset; like letting herself freeze to death in the mud. She found that she could not care, and knew that her mother would be scolding her for it if she knew.

Her mind was fading. She was barely thinking at all. She did not know how long she had been in there, only that she could no longer feel her legs and that she was tired.

"Can I make a wish?" She did not know who she was talking to. Faded images of people she could not see the faces of talking to her. She could see sunlight, and hear a muffled voice.

'What kind of wish do you want to make, honey?' The figure spoke. She thought it was her mother, but she could not see her face.

"Can I wish I was happy? I'd really like to be happy right now."

'Is that really what you want?' The faded image of her mother asked, and she could see a smile on her face. She could not feel her arms anymore. She wondered if she still had them.

"Yes please." She was crying, although she could not feel the tears down her cheeks. Did she still have a face?

'If that's what you want. Come now, honey, you should sleep. You've got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.' It did not sound like her mother. She wondered if the police had found her. What if she were being dragged into an ambulance? She must have looked terrible. She tried to smile as she closed her eyes.

"Goodnight."

Emily barely heard the woman and she started to feel the air turn warm like a blanket around her nume body. A soft sensation went throughout her body as she could smell lavender. It felt like her mom was hugging her again. A tear escaped her eye as everything went black.

To Be Continued…

A/N- thank you all bunnies for reading please comment and tell me what you think, also I'm updating the other chapters to this fanfic too chow. ;p