Runaway Haven

The doorbell was ringing.

Are you fucking serious? Why is my doorbell ringing at three in the bloody morning?

"Master... Master Potter, sir?"

I groaned and rolled over towards the other side of my bed. No way was Sparky the house-elf waking me up at three in the bloody morning for what was probably a door-to-door 'special sale'. Wanker. What kind of salesmen rings at the most ungodly hour known to wizards?

"Master Potter, sir! Sparky is sorry, sir, but there is a wizard, sir, waiting for Master at the front door, and he says that it can not wait, sir, until tomorrow morning!"

I sighed and sat up. Sparky shoved my glasses into my hand before I even asked. "Thanks, Sparky." Lucky thing the little bugger didn't understand sarcasm too well. He'd probably go iron his ears.

"Would Master Potter like his robe, sir? Or his slippers, sir?"

"No, no, it's fine." I yawned and slammed my glasses on my face, then trotted out the door and promptly fell down the stairs.

Ow. I could've sworn I left those stairs somewhere else. I think I broke my glasses. Damn.

So, of course, I was very aggravated when I finally opened the back door to the Potter House and saw my best mate sitting on his trunk.

"Morning, Prongs," he said, shaking his head slightly. "You know, I've been waiting here for almost ten minutes. Some people just have no manners –"

Slammed the door. Maybe Sparky would make me some hot chocolate before I went back to sleep.

"Wait! Prongs, please!"

That stopped me in my tracks. Sirius. Saying please? Something had to be really wrong. I opened the door again.

"Alright, Padfoot, make it quick," I said, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "I'm tired."

"I... do... do you have a spare room for a couple of days? Just until... until I can find somewhere else?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "What? Your mum get too bad for you?"

There was one of those silences. Real awkward. Sirius scratched his neck and gave me that puppy-dog look. I groaned.

"Get in here, you mutt."

He sprung up from his trunk and bounded into the kitchen off the back-door corridor. "Thanks, Prongs! You're a real mate!"

I rubbed my forehead. I felt a migraine coming on. "You're going to tell me everything that happened. Then I'm going to bed, and you can sleep on the couch for a few hours until I set up a room for you."

"Sure thing, buddy!"

Three minutes later, the two of us were nursing bottles of butterbeer in the living room. Sirius was chomping on a plate of biscuits. What a wanker. Not that I don't love him like a brother, but what a bloody wanker.

"Well," he said, chewing loudly. "My mum is... a piece of work, if you recall."

I shook my head in disbelief. Kicking cats. Eating raw eggs. Ripping thru paintings because they moved. Beheading house-elves. Apparently, all this added up to a piece of work, instead of a psychotic control freak, as I had thought.

"Well. Anyways, she caught sight of my Gryffindoor banner a few days ago and just went haywire, buddy. She flipped. Practically blew her head, if you catch my drift. Disowned me and everything."

I nodded warily.

"But she didn't kick me out for that. If you can believe it, I was careless enough to..."

He stopped and put a few feet of space in between us. "Now, don't hurt me, Prongs."

"I won't."

"You swear? On your Marauderhood?"

I didn't do anything.

"Well... she... she saw... now, you promised, Prongs! She saw... Padfoot."

Again with the silence. Then:

"Ow! Prongs, you promised! James, OW!"

"Are you MENTAL?"

I'd pinned him to the floor and sat on his stomach, so that he couldn't move. His wand lay a few meters away.

"You know, if anyone walked in right now, they could take it the complete wrong way–"

"Shut it, you troll! Do you realize what you've done?"

Sirius didn't say anything.

"What if your mum turns you in? You could go to Azkaban! Remus could be locked away! Me and Peter would be followed! What if this gets to a Malfoy, hm? What is the matter with you?"

"I – I didn't mean to, James! I didn't! I just fell asleep, and I – I changed while I was sleeping! Honest, mate! It happens! You know that!"

I took a deep breath. All right. At least it wasn't on purpose. Hell, I'd changed in my sleep before too. Antlers all tangled in the sheets and everything. But I still smacked him in the face. "Please tell me you Obliviated her, Padfoot. Please. I'm begging you."

"I – I didn't. Reg did."

That made me freeze. "Your brother?"

"Sure as I'm getting crushed by your huge bubble butt. He just whipped out his wand and poof! She didn't remember why she was yelling."

I sighed. "Thank Merlin for that one." Then I got up, kicked him, and made my way to the stairs. "Couch's over there. Sit. Stay."

Sirius hadn't moved from the floor. "Actually, I'm kind of afraid to move."

"Why?"

"If I turn my back, you might attack me again."

I chucked his wand at him. "Go to sleep, Padfoot."

"Sure thing, James. And..."

"What do you want, you crazy elf?"

"I... thanks again. I love you, mate."

I rolled my eyes. "You know, that might have some sort of actual meaning if I hadn't heard you tell about fifty witches that within the last five years."

"You aren't just any witch, though, Prongs. Thanks. I mean it."

I shook my head and made my way up the stairs. "If I find anything wrong in this house while you're here, my parents are going to send Padfoot to the kennel."

But I loved him like a brother, too. That's why his mum's house was egged the next afternoon.

I mean, if you can't trust your best mate to take revenge on your psychotic mother, who can you trust?

Reviews are greatly appreciated, as always!***