I'm really sorry to anyone reading my other story Giving In. I just had such a lack of response and really lost motivation. Hope that doesn't happen with this one! I still plan on eventually going back to Giving In, I had a lot planned for it so we'll see. I really do hate to be one of those writers but no reviews = no inspiration :-( Hope you enjoy this one and please review!!

Disclaimer: characters are all SM's as is background info

Chapter 1

EPOV

A familiar and excruciating scent crept towards me and I could not stop my instant reaction. My head shot up and I locked eyes with the most beautiful woman in the world, Bella. It was impossible, she hadn't aged. Her skin was paler; her eyes no longer held their chocolate brown but was engulfed in a caramel swirl. Her scent did not set my throat on fire either. How could it be possible? Bella died 17 years ago. She disappeared from Alice's visions, she disappeared from this world. I had been to her funeral, I had smelt her blood in the woods, there's no way I could have missed this. But here she was staring at me with the same agonizing expression as she had seventeen years, three months, and 5 days ago.

"Edward? Hello? Earth to the immortal," Catherine said as she waved her hand in front of my stunned face. I never let her see me like this. She didn't know how Bella's absence tortured me, it was unnecessary. It was bad enough that I inflicted my pain on my family members for so many years. I had eventually learned to direct it inwards which hurt even more but at least spared those around me; with the exception of Jasper of course.

"Sorry," I didn't break eye contact with Bella until she did. Which happened as soon as Catherine's voice broke our silent trance.

"What's the matter?" She questioned. If I told her right now I was sure she'd make a scene. Never mind Bella overhearing which would be more than overwhelming for everyone involved.

"Nothing," I shrugged it off, "We'll talk about it later."

"You know I don't like things being kept from me."

"Catherine, please not now. I'll tell you later, I promise."

"Good, cause if you don't you know that Alice will." It was true, my sister did not feel that she needed to comply with anymore of my requests. She felt that giving up her best friend due to my foolishness was enough for a lifetime. She was right.

I could only let my eyes linger on Bella for short periods of time without Catherine noticing. If she turned her attention to my line of site she would undoubtedly recognize her. I couldn't imagine her reaction. I would give anything to see into her head right now. Who was the human she was with? Who did this to her? I would kill whoever it was, a slow and painful death. Maybe I'd even let them put themselves together a few times before I ended it. A part of me was on fire with fury but a larger part was soaring with happiness.

Bella was here, in front of me, mere feet away. I had to speak with her, I had to explain everything. She belonged with us and if this wasn't enough to show me that then I didn't know what was. Even if she didn't want me back, I'd spend the rest of my miserable existence waiting, fighting, for her.

BPOV

Of all the restaurants in Seattle, I landed across from him. It was impossible. If I had still been human I would have fainted immediately. I quietly thanked God that Jeff was unusually unobservant. While my eyes were lost in seas of topaz he continued to ramble on about his mid-level job as he dipped his bread in the olive oil with unnecessary concentration. Across from Edward sat a human girl, I gauged from her height and development that she had to be between 16 and 18. I couldn't believe it. I was replaced. My heart died for the umpteenth time. As she moved slightly I saw more of her. She looked strikingly similar to my own human form. She had hair slightly shorter than mine but with the same natural wave and oak tint. As she glanced around the room, surveying the atmosphere, I saw her eyes, chocolate brown and wide. We were so alike. I felt utterly pathetic when I realized that this made me glad. If he were to fall for another human it must say something that she resembled me right? Ugh, pathetic.

As my thoughts swirled around the situation I heard her speak and had to break the eye contact. I did not want to see his reaction to her voice. But I couldn't help hearing it. She was in on the secret, she knew he was immortal, she knew Alice, she had my life. I felt like I was dissipating into the air then and there. I mine as well have been. How was I supposed to continue this date with a stranger as the one person that's meant anything to this life sits a few feet away with his new love? It was worse than eternal damnation, it was my own personal hell. One assurance, he didn't talk to her the same as he had me. He sounded more frustrated, or flustered? I couldn't quite tell, it had been so long.

As I was lost playing with some bread on my plate a woman took the stage and sat at a baby grand white piano. Hell's fires just increased exponentially. Her melody began and I could already tell it was going to be heartbreaking.

"May the words you speak mean nothing to me. Mean nothing at all. So I won't feel the pain."

I couldn't help myself. I looked up and my eyes landed on his angelic face. With the lyrics human memories flooded my mind. Yes, they fade with time but not these, not the ones involving the Cullens, especially not this Cullen. Some days this was my curse, yet it was always also my saving grace.

"And you do not understand. it's here in my heart. it's here that I cry. Don't you go away."

His eyes are back on mine. I cannot decide the emotions I see on them since they flicker by so fast. Anger, sadness, remorse, happiness? Could he be happy to see me? And do I actually see longing? I think back on the way I felt whenever he held me. Protected, safe, loved, wanted.

"And you speak in such a way that it doesn't faze you. Well it fazes me." The performer broke into a beautiful piano solo.

With those lyrics my memories are replaced with those from my last moments with him. His eyes frozen, cold, honest. He didn't want me then why would he want me now? I was a vampire, more beautiful, less destructible. Yet, it seemed he was still interested in humans. Was that all I was? A human foolish enough to fulfill his fantasy? And when I had served my purpose he moved to the next? No, it couldn't be. I refused to believe it. His eyes now were honest, much more than that day in the woods. But what did that mean.

"Just try, see through my past. If only you'd let me. Just give me a chance. Let me endure till the end. You can't deny it. You can't deny it."

As the piano solo slowly ended I quickly excused myself from the table. The first time Jeff was paying attention, "What shall I order you?"

I needed to escape the hole Edward's eyes were burning into me and this was the least relevant question he could have asked. I wouldn't eat whatever he decided on anyway, "Everything looks great, you decide." I said with a small smile. With that I turned around and went straight for the restroom without looking up at his table. Proves that I should have though because maybe I would have been more prepared to run straight into him at the end of the empty hallway.

I gasped as our bodies collided. Good thing I was walking at human pace or we would have alarmed the entire kitchen staff. He let out a breath he seemed to be holding also.

"Is it really you Bella?" He asked in disbelief.

I smiled weakly, no matter how much he hurt me I could not stop the relief that washed through me as he spoke my name. "It is."

"Who did this to you?" He asked as his hand brushed lightly across my cheek. I instinctively backed away. No one had touched me like that since...well since he had. I saw pain spread across his face quickly. In the year I knew him Edward normally tried to disguise his emotions, not tonight. Or maybe being a vampire I could just read them more easily. Who knew? Who cared?

"I'm sorry." he mumbled.

EPOV

She pulled away, what should I expect after what I had done to her? Did I expect all to be forgiven?

A waiter came out from the kitchen and eyed us curiously. Our kind always attracted more attention when we were together. We had so much we needed to talk about. I yearned to know absolutely everything that I had missed. I also did not need to see the future to know that Alice would kill me if I messed this up. All this time, where the only comfort I found in Bella's death was that her soul was intact. That she would be in the heaven that I would never see. But I was wrong. She'd been condemned. She belonged with my family, they missed her a whisper of how I had but it was still a tremendous amount.

"Bella, we have so much to talk about. Please, come to the house. The family will be thrilled to see you." She looked skeptical.

"I doubt that" she whispered.

"Why would you say that?" I asked confused.

"It's not exactly like they had such trouble leaving in the first place." She said with slight disdain but mostly sadness.

"Bella, there's a lot to be explained. Please." She was still hesitating.

"I don't want to ruin your date." Now he voice was laced with pure disdain. I understood how it looked. Again, something that had to be explained later.

"It's not how it seems. Not in the least," I said earnestly hoping she would understand.

"Is the whole family here?"

"Rosalie and Emmet are hunting until Monday. But yes, everyone else. They miss you so much."

"They," she emphasized.

"My feelings are not to be explained at this venue. I owe you much more than that. But if you had plans with your...friend...I understand. We could meet tomorrow."

"No," she replied quickly much to my delight, "I'm free tonight. Where do you live?" I told her the address and directions and asked her to meet me there as soon as possible. I knew Catherine would understand. Well, she would understand why we had to cut dinner short, I was still unsure how she would react to Bella. This was going to impact her life almost as much as mine. Maybe Alice would help me with strategies later.

"How long will you be?" I asked urgently. I wished I could sweep her out the back door this instant. I knew I had missed her an excruciating amount but standing next to her...I don't know how I survived so long.

"Depends on how much longer jabbering Jeff decides to ramble on about his life. So that could be anywhere between 15 minutes and 15 years." I missed her humor.

"Please, please, do not allow it to be the latter." I emphasized. I did not care how desperate I came off...I was desperate.

She nodded and walked past me trying all too hard to avoid any contact. Now all I had to do was talk to Catherine...great.

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