Hey everyone! I wanted to start a new Olivia/Casey fic. I liked the idea of Olivia being closeted to everyone except Casey and her getting into a situation with a guy that she has to get out of. Anyway, read, review and enjoy!
Deep down, Olivia knew this was wrong. For most of her life, she had been honest with herself and others, but she still wrestled with so many aspects of her sexuality. Given all that had happened in her life, she kept to herself. There had been so many obstacles - her mother's drinking, not knowing who her father is, her estranged brother, but through all of this, she still struggled coming to terms with being a lesbian.
"Love the sinner, hate the sin," this was the phrase that her friends at Sienna repeated to her over and over and over again when she told them she was gay. It was so hard for her to do so, especially since she struggled so much trusting people, and this was the first group that she really felt comfortable with. Her friends there always tried setting her up with guys, and she would either say "he's not my type" or she would go out with them but nothing physical happened. Her friends kept saying to her, "are you sure you're gay?" and she'd just seethe with rage on the inside. "Am I sure?!" she'd think. "You think I would choose this path?"
But now, she was at a very low point. At work, things were actually going well with the new team, and she was as on top of her game as she's ever been. But, she struggled internally with a guy she was seeing, Bill.
It all started fairly innocently. She actually got set up with him through Rollins, who obviously didn't know about her sexuality. She didn't want to be rude, or go into detail about why she didn't want to date him, let alone any other man, so she accepted. The two met, and actually got along well, and Liv actually felt attracted to him, for the first time in her life. She got all screwed up emotionally. "Maybe I'm not gay," she thought. "Have I been wrong about myself all along? Is that even possible."
She knew, however that she preferred women. It got even harder when Bill started to fall for her - and fast, and she just didn't know how to get out of it all. She didn't want to hurt him, but she also didn't want to live a lie. She also really didn't feel like having to explain to Rollins when it all didn't work out.
Throughout all of this, her best friend, Casey Novak was always there for her. She was a shoulder to cry on, and a confidant. She was the only person in SVU that knew she was gay, and often times she felt like the only person Olivia could talk to. One day, after work, they met for coffee and some tough love.
"Crap, Bill just texted again, he wants to hang out later," Olivia said as she took a sip of her black coffee. "Man, I'm not sure how much longer I can do this."
Casey rolled her eyes. She had heard this story so many times before, and was frankly getting sick of it. She too wondered exactly how Liv felt about this guy, and whether or not she could actually see herself with him long term.
"Liv, you know how I feel about the whole thing," Casey offered. "You should have never even put yourself in this position, let alone continued to see him. Now he's falling in love with you, and getting in deeper and deeper."
"He's not falling in love with me!" Liv protested. "It hasn't even been that long, maybe like ten weeks."
"Trust me, he is," Casey countered. "I've seen you guys together. He gets all googly-eyed when he looks at you. He texts you all the time. Liv, he's falling for you."
The table was silent for a second as Olivia gathered her thoughts. She knew Casey was right. Even though he hadn't said "I love you" yet, she knew it was coming soon. He had given her a drawer to keep some of her things in his apartment and told her he wanted to spend every free minute of every day with her. Olivia marveled that a person could fall so deeply for her, and that's part of what kept her cling to him. Never had she had a relationship where the other party was so head over heels for her.
"You've gotta do something," Casey continued. "Because he's going to say 'I love you' soon and then maybe ask you to move in with him or something. I know men, Olivia, much better than you do. This is what they do."
"You're right, Case, god this is so hard. I didn't mean for this to happen at all, but it just sort of snowballed. One date became two, two became three, and then all of the sudden I'm spending nights at his place and vice versa. I just need to get out."
Casey rolled her eyes again. She'd heard this before too. Liv had said she needed to get out before, and never did. Why would this be any different?
"Just tell him, Liv, that's the easiest thing. Bill, I'm a lesbian. Boom. Over. Let's move on. You'll feel better after you do it."
What complicated things further was that Olivia had this insane crush on Casey which started the day they met. She always wanted to be with her, but knew that Casey was straight, which took that out of the equation. She always thought 'why can't we just be together? It'd be so easy,' but never made a move or said anything about it. She didn't want to make things awkward between them, especially since they were so close.
"If only it were that easy, Case," Olivia said with a chuckle. "But I'm going to do it soon, I promise."
"Pinky swear," Casey said, extending her hand.
"Pinky swear," Olivia returned, joining their pinkies. This was a little too cute for Olivia, but she didn't mind. "OK, I've gotta go meet Bill. He's waiting for me. I'll get out of this soon, Case, I will."
Part of the reason Olivia stayed with Bill for so long is that she really liked his apartment. It was spacious, yet cozy, with a killer view. He was a big time investment banker with a lot of money and he treated Olivia like a queen. No one, male or female had ever treated her this well in a relationship context. He was already home by the time Olivia got there. He buzzed her up, and immediately he took Olivia's coat and hung it up. He poured two glasses of wine, and rubbed her shoulders as they sipped.
"How was your day, hon?" He asked. Olivia cringed a little inside when she heard the word "hon" but tried not to think about it.
"It was fine," she replied. "We're getting somewhere on one of our cases, gathering some evidence and such, hopefully enough to nail him to the wall forever."
Olivia never mentioned specifics of cases to Bill until they had been closed. He understood that, and respected her. The last thing he wanted was to accidentally say something that he shouldn't that could end up jeopardizing things.
"That's great babe," he said back, continuing to rub her shoulders. His hands worked wonders down Olivia's back and he was absolutely hitting all of her spots. Though she was fighting the urges, she was absolutely getting turned on by this. They'd had sex before, which was weird enough in and of itself, but the constant sense of security was something that Olivia really was enjoying.
"How did things go on Wall Street?" she asked. Bill didn't actually work on Wall Street and Olivia knew that, but it was a running joke between them. She knew enough about his job, but was really not well versed at all in the ways of the financial game.
"Today was nice, you know, the usual," Bill said. Olivia didn't really know what "the usual" meant, but she just went with it. All of the sudden, those magic fingers stopped and he turned her towards him. "But as always, the best part of my day is right now, sitting in front of me."
Olivia smiled. Even though that line was corny, she did like it. Before she knew it, Bill had pressed his lips against hers and slid his tongue inside her mouth, gently massaging it with hers. This kiss was soft, but definitely deep and passionate. She then felt his hands once again go up and down her body, and she was definitely getting turned on. Bill then took his shirt off. He traded his perfectly tailored button down with a fairly tight long-sleeved t-shirt. He had an absolutely amazing body. He had been a swimmer in high school and college, and still continued to do so to this day, and he absolutely showed it. His pecs were beyond defined, and he had abs upon abs going down his torso. Olivia loved to feel his rock hard body getting pressed against hers. There was truly nothing like it. Right then, Olivia took her shirt off, exposing the lacy lavender bra she was wearing, and further realizing that she had been sucked in once again by Bill's sexiness. He reached behind her and unclasped her bra, allowing it to fall right off the couch and onto the floor.
The heat was so evident and palpable, and Olivia did enjoy it. Bill felt her nipples and breasts up and down, and then reached for the buckle of his belt and ripped it off, and then took his jeans off. Bill was a tighty-whitie guy, which definitely suited him considering he was so unbelievably defined. Olivia then reached down and felt his unbelievably hard, erect dick that just wanted to creep out of his briefs so badly. She wondered just how those cotton briefs could corral and contain a cock that large. It wouldn't matter as she slid his undies off of him with one hand while taking her pants off with the other. She then shuffled out of her pants, and he reached inside of the side table for a condom which he slid onto his fully erect, huge penis.
Olivia took off her simple white cotton Hanes panties and prepared as Bill approached her and then inserted himself inside of her. She felt his enormous penis press up against her, and loved the feeling of his thrust. It was definitely second to none. Even though she was gay, and knew she was gay, she had always preferred a strap on in the bed room, and honestly, what was better than an actual, live, fully erect dick?
He continued to move inside of her, and Olivia got closer to orgasm with every thrust. She clenched her fists as he continued to move, over and over, back and forth. She knew she was getting closer to the edge with each tough inside of her. He kept going, and finally, she felt him release, and she released right there too. It was such an odd sensation to cum the way that she did, knowing that this ultimately wasn't what she wanted.
Olivia put some sweats on, and Bill just lounged around in his tighty-whities after it was over. That was his thing after they had sex, he would never get fully dressed, but rather what just hang out in his briefs, which honestly wasn't the worst thing considering he wasn't bad to look at. Each time they finished, Olivia had a mix of emotions. She was satisfied sexually, but hated that she was continuing to deceive this very nice guy. She realized that she did have to get out of this, and she had to do it soon. She really didn't want to deceive him anymore.