Over the Hedge: Halloween Surprise

Disclaimer: I do not own Over the Hedge in any way; DreamWorks owns the movie and the comic strip characters are the property of Michael Fry and T Lewis. All original characters belong to me.

Note: Hello again fellow readers and Over the Hedge fans! Come May 19, 2016, Over the Hedge will turn 10 years old. Because I had such a great time revising the OTH Soulmates Trilogy, and want to commemorate the anniversary of my (and apparently many other peoples') favorite animated movie of all time, I have updated and revised this story as well. As with the Soulmates Trilogy, only additional dialogue, "scenes," and descriptions, have been made and typos corrected. Don't expect any plot elements to change.

It was dusk on October 31st at the El Rancho Camelot Estates and RJ watches the streets as kids and their parents are trick-or-treating for Halloween. Since he and his new family could never have too much food to fill the log with, he sees the holiday as a chance to earn some candy. He hops down from his favorite tree and calls out to the others.

RJ: "Hey everybody, huddle up! I got plans for a heist!"

In no time, everyone eagerly gathers around.

Verne: "What kind of heist?"

RJ: "Well, first things first. Have any of you heard about Halloween?"

Lou: "Hallow-what?"

RJ: "Halloween. It's a holiday that happens around this time of the year. Ya see, humans wear all sorts of costumes and go door-to-door saying 'trick or treat' and it is only customary that the homeowners give them candy"

Hammy (exclaiming): "Oh! I like candy!"

Penny: "Everyone loves candy!"

RJ (nods and grins): "My point exactly. And we're gonna get some free candy to help fill the log."

Ozzie (doing poetic hand motions to add theatric emphasis): "So you're saying if we dress up in costumes and go to humans' houses that they'll give us candy?"

RJ: "You bet!"

Stella: "Where'll we get costumes?

RJ (Grin widens): "That's the irony of the situation. We don't even have to get costumes. I mean, just look at us, we're all ready for Halloween. I'm raccoon; Verne's a turtle; Hammy's a squirrel; Ozzie and Heather are possums; Lou, Penny, Bucky, Quillo, and Spike are porcupines; Stella's a skunk; and Tiger's a cat."

Verne: "Now hold up a minute. There is no way that humans are gonna give us candy. They'll recognize us as real animals and freak out."

RJ: "True, but it all depends on which type of humans you go to."

Tiger: "What are you saying?"

RJ: "Ya see older humans aren't as bright as others. They don't have good eye sight either. So if we just act natural and not speak, they can't tell the difference."

Note: I have a deep respect for elders so don't think that this is how I view them. I just couldn't word it in any different way

Everyone starts to get the picture except Verne who was always doubtful, even though he and the others accepted RJ into their family after the "Food Wagon Incident"

Note: Food Wagon Incident is relating to the events that happened in the movie and is sort of a tie-in when RJ said "Weed Hacker Incident." Get it?

Verne (rubbing chin with fingers): "I dunno…I still don't think this is gonna work…"

Quillo: "Aw, c'mon Uncle Verne"

Heather (nods): "Yeah, it sounds pretty fun to me."

Stella: "Sounds fun for all of us."

RJ: "It's a whole different heist altogether. And if things go wrong, older people aren't as fast or as strong. So what's to worry?"

Everyone nods in agreement to RJ

Verne (shrugs then smiles): "Okay, you win. Let's go."

Everyone cheered happily.

RJ: "Alright, now let's go over a few things first. Lou and Penny, you'll have to carry your kids since they're too small to be mistaken for humans."

Lou and Penny nod yes.

RJ (to Bucky, Quillo, and Spike): "You three will have to be completely still, got it?"

Bucky, Quillo, and Spike in unison: "Yes, Uncle RJ!"

RJ: "Good. And if the humans ask anything, nod yes."

Tiger (salutes): "You can count on us my liege"

RJ: "A simple 'you got it' should do, Tiger. And no salutes, this is an informal huddle"

Tiger (energetically): "You got it."

RJ: "Alright, let's go get some easy-candy!"

Everyone yells with excitement.

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The hedgies peek through the hedge, waiting for the right time to emerge unnoticed by the other humans. It didn't take long and they walk out into the streets of suburbia with stolen grocery bags from previous heists to hold candy. They keep their eyes and ears open for the first house that had elderly people in it.

Heather (sees an elderly woman give some kids candy and points at the direction): "Look! Over there!"

RJ: "Good eye, Heather. Okay people, let's boogie."

RJ motions for the others to follow him and gives Hammy a boost to ring the doorbell once they are on the porch.

They stand there anxiously. The door opens and an elderly woman comes out with a bowl of candy.

Note: The next few parts that happen are based on the Over the Hedge comic strip dated October 30-31, 2008.

The lady looks down at the hedgies who are smiling and holding out their bags.

Nancy: "Aww...How cute. Howard, come here and look at the children's' costumes."

Nancy's husband comes out.

Howard: "Well now, look at 'em Nancy. I ain't seen costumes like this since Herbert Hoover was at the White House."

Verne looks at RJ who winks at him. RJ was right, this was easy-candy.

Nancy: "I mean look, a little raccoon, a squirrel."

Howard: "Look at the two possums Nancy, a husband and a wife."

Heather rolls her eyes in embarrassment while Ozzie and the porcupine triplets chuckle softly at her being confused for Ozzie's mate.

Nancy: "And the two porcupines have little Beanie Babies for their children."

This time Heather, Lou, and Penny giggle softly at the triplets rolling their eyes in embarrassment.

Howard: "Look at the one dressed like a cat. He's on all fours."

Tiger grinned and glanced at Stella who winked at him.

Nancy: "And the last two are a skunk and a…a…an Iguana?"

Verne rolled his eyes.

Howard: "No it's a...Gila Monster."

Verne (frowns and mutters softly): "…Turtle…"

Sadly, even if the two humans heard him, they wouldn't understand the turtle. But these humans are not all clueless, unlike many others the forest family has encountered. These elderly consult a "higher knowledge", one that modern times has forgotten in favor of the internet.

Nancy: "Uh, wait just a moment kids. Howard, get the animal encyclopedia."

Howard goes back inside, and after a minute they hear his voice again.

Howard (voice heard from inside house): "Nancy, get in here! I don't have my reading glasses on."

This time Nancy heads inside—with the candy bowl.

The hedgies hear their voices inside.

Howard: "No it's not a gecko or a komodo dragon."

Nancy: "Snail?"

Howard: "No."

Nancy: "A land crab?"

Howard: "No."

Nancy: "A large barnacle? Oh, I got it! It's an amphibian!"

Verne slaps his forehead and wipes his hand down his face in frustration. The hedgies, getting tired of waiting, walk down the street.

Verne: "A land crab, a large barnacle?! I'm a REPTILE and I'm a TURTLE!"

Stella: "Whoa now, don't burst outta your shell Verne."

RJ: "Yeah, I told ya they're not that bright."

Lou: "Let's just move on to the next house, Verne-o"

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They find another house, ring the bell, and hold out their bags when another elderly woman comes out with a bowl of candy.

Old Lady: "Oh. Oh my, what wonderful costumes. You're all very small…Is this your first time out for trick-or-treating?"

They all look at RJ who starts to nod "yes" and they all do the same.

Old Lady: "Aw, so precious. And my, your costumes are so…so…lifelike and real! Did your mommy make them?"

The hedgies nodded "yes" frantically, anxious to get candy.

Old Lady (yelling in anger): "Well Fine! Great! Good for her! Kids are so lazy nowadays that you need your mommy to do EVERYTHING for you! Can't even go to the costume store and save her the trouble, huh?!" (Slams the door hard)

The animals just stand there staring at the door for a few moments and then slowly turn to face RJ.

RJ (shrugs and puts his paws up in defense): "What? How was I supposed to know Halloween is the cruelest holiday for insecure moms?"

The family decides that they've had enough disappointment for one evening, and go back through the hedge without any prizes.

Hammy: "My costume's so comfy! I'd never take it off!"

Penny: "Well that didn't go so well."

Spike (pouting): "I wanted to get candy…"

Bucky (pouting): "Yeah me too."

Quillo (pouting): Me three.

RJ: "Hey cheer up. There's more to Halloween than candy"

Ozzie: "Like what?"

RJ: "Like…" (in a creepy voice and wriggling his fingers like an evil sorcerer) "…Ghost stories."

Ozzie: "Ghost?! Uhhhhh…" (Faints)

Heather (shaking her head in embarrassment): "Dad…"

Tiger: "It will take a lot to scare the likes of Prince Tigerious Mammhooht Shabbaz!"

RJ (smiles): "Then gather around and listen because this story isn't made up. I was actually there to bear witness to it."

The hedgies gather around RJ who grabs a flash light.

Note: The following ghost story is based on Large Marge's story from Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

RJ (In a slow, creepy voice): "On a dark and spooky night, just like this one, I was 16 years old walking down the highway, just me and my bag minding my own business, when suddenly a blinding light came from behind. I heard the bone-chilling sound of an 18-wheeler truck I figured out that it was going too fast to avoid, I braced myself for my own death. But then the driver must have seen me and spun around so hard that the thing flipped over and skidded past me.

'I was lucky, but then I saw the worst accident ever: The truck hit a boulder and made the sound of a dump truck falling off the Empire State Building. Then it exploded into a giant fireball that lit up the night as if it was daytime—the news reporters in the morning called it 'The Night of the Second Sun.' The explosion could be seen for miles which is what brought firemen and ambulances to the scene. They hosed down the truck, but it was far too late for the driver."

The hedgies scoot in closer, intrigued by RJ's story.

RJ: "And when they pulled the body from the twisted…burning…wreak; it looked like…" (Literally in the blink of an eye, RJ reaches inside his golf bag, puts on a scary-looking ghoul mask, and faces his family) "THIS!"

Everyone screams. Verne sinks into his shell. Ozzie, and surprisingly Heather too, faint. Lou and Penny grab their kids and hug them tight. Stella dives behind a rock and takes cover. Tiger jumps up, his hair standing on his arched back and lets out the famous "scaredie cat" meow. Hammy runs all over the place.

RJ (laughing hysterically): Ha ha ha ha ha! You should see the look on your faces!"

The others start relaxing a bit.

Bucky: "That was awesome!"

Stella: "Did that really happen?"

RJ (smart-alecky): "Ehhhh, nope. I just made it up." (Amused tone) "But I still scared all of you good!"

Heather (gets up): "You can say that again. You even made me faint."

Ozzie (smiling at his daughter): "That was a graceful faint. I'm proud of you and you should feel proud for yourself."

Heather (shrugs and grins): "…Thanks dad."

Heather would never say it, but ever since the raid on Gladys' house her feelings toward playing possum had changed considerably. She wasn't as hesitant to play-dead as she once was. She even practiced every now and then whenever no one else was around.

RJ: "Who wants to go next?"

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The night unfolds slowly and each family member gets to share a story. The last story was about vampires.

Penny: "It's getting kinda late. Maybe we should get some shut-eye"

Verne: "After all those stories?"

RJ: "What's the matter, Verne? Afraid those 'zombie squids' from Spike's story are gonna slither their tentacles into your nose and pull out your brain?"

Verne: "No it's not that. I just—"

The hedgies feel their stomachs roil as they heard an unfamiliar voice from above.

Voice: "I've been searching all night and I still can't find anything to sink my fangs into…"

Hammy is unable to keep his cool after hearing the story about vampires because he sees a bat looming right above them.

Hammy: "V-V-V…VAMPIRE!"

Everyone screams and runs which causes the bat to swoop down and fly in all directions. They find themselves having to duck to avoid the renegade bat. They try to find somewhere to hide, but the bat keeps flying towards them. Suddenly, the bat flies right into a tree, hitting it hard.

Bat: "OOF!" (Slowly slides down to the ground)

The hedgies gather behind RJ and collectively and slowly walk towards the downed bat.

Bat (getting up): "Ergh! I hate it when that happens…"

The bat immediately pulls out a retractable cane and the other animals get a better look at him. The bat has black wings and brown fur, and is as tall as Hammy's shoulders. He also has three short and stubby "finger-claws"—not just one thumb claw—located on both wings in the area between his shoulder and the tip of the wing.

Bat (walking with his cane and touching the ground around him): "Hello? I heard voices. Is anyone there? Hello? Hello?—" (runs into another tree) "Ouch! Not again…"

The hedgies look at the bumbling bat in confusion. He wasn't nearly as horrifying as in the vampire story they just heard. He actually seemed pretty friendly…but even animals know not to trust a stranger. Unconsciously, however, one of the family members speak up as soon as the bat finished speaking.

Penny: "Jeepers. Need help—?"

Lou (puts his paw over Penny's mouth): "Shhh!"

But it was too late. The bat's ears perk up and he walks to the direction of Penny's and Lou's voices.

Bat: "Oh, there you are."

All of the animals nervously lean back as the bat walks in front of them. But when he stops he is facing to the right of the group.

Bat (holds out hand/claws): "Hello there, my name is Simon. Who might you be?"

RJ (voice is so nervous that he's whispering): Uh, turn a bit."

Simon (Accidentally turns to the right with his hand out): "Sorry, how about now?"

RJ gulps, walks behind the bat cautiously, puts his paws on the bat's back and turns him so he's facing the group.

Simon: "Thank you Mr.….?"

There is a brief pause.

Simon: "This is where you tell me your name."

Ozzie (noticing Simon is wearing small sunglasses): "…You're—?"

Simon (Smiles): "—Blind? Yes. You know what they say 'Blind as a bat', heh-heh...Oh, and I'm sorry if I scared you. I'm quite harmless. I'm just a fruit bat. My hearing is very sensitive and all that yelling really confused me while I was trying to fly. Not that I'm blaming you for anything. It was just an accident."

Note: I know that, contrary to popular belief, bats aren't really blind—they just can't see well. But it's best to go along with the myth because Over the Hedge is a fun family movie where the rules of the word don't always apply. After all, turtles can't really climb in and out of their shells yet Verne can take his on and off whenever he wants. Such are examples of the suspension of disbelief which good authors and directors know when to use depending on the context and audience a story is intended for.

RJ (shaking Simon's hand): "Oh, that's okay. I'm RJ…a raccoon. And this is my family." (Steps aside and gestures for Verne to move up)

Verne (voice quivering): "H-Hi. I-I'm Verne."(Shakes Simon's hand)

Simon: "Your hand feels clammy. I can't feel any fur on you, Verne."

Verne: "I-I'm a turtle."

Simon: "A turtle? RJ, you said this was your…family?"

RJ: "Well, we're sort of a group of friends who are so close that we're considered a family. But we do have two family-families here with us."

RJ ushers Ozzie and Heather to step forward.

Ozzie (shakes Simon's hand): I'm Ozzie, an opossum. And this is my daughter…"

Heather (steps forward and shakes Simon's hand): "Heather"

Simon: "Nice to meet you both. Where is your mate?"

Ozzie (frowning): "…She's….."

Simon: "Oh dear. I-I'm terribly sorry… I—"

Heather: "It's ok…she…" (Tears start coming out of her eyes)

Ozzie (hugging Heather whose face is buried in his chest): "Mary died giving birth to a stillborn baby that would have been my son…"

Heather (voice thick and on the verge of crying): "And my little brother…"

There is a long silent pause, and both Heather's and Ozzie's eyes dry up when it's over.

Simon: "I…really crossed the line this time. I'll just leave and—"

Ozzie: "No. Please stay. You didn't know, and we have to face the ghosts of our past sooner or later."

Heather (voice is back to normal): "Besides, we don't wanna just run you off. You have to meet the rest of the family." (Gestures for Lou, Penny, and their kids to come forward)

Lou (shakes Simon's hand): I'm Lou, a porcupine and this is my mate…" (Moves aside to let Penny through)

Penny (shakes Simon's hand): "Penny. And I just want to say that you're a handsome-looking bat. Right, hon?"

Lou: "Yeah. You look super pal."

Simon (smiling): "Really? I don't even know what I look like…!"

The hedgies all let out an "Aw" in pity.

Penny: "Bless your heart…"

Simon: "No, don't worry. I was born this way. My motto is 'Blind as a bat, no problem with that'. So don't feel too bad for me."

Lou: "Well, then here are our three sons…"

Bucky (shakes Simon's hand): "I'm Bucky"

Quillo (shakes Simon's hand): "I'm Quillo"

Spike (shakes Simon's hand): "And I'm Spike"

Simon: "Nice to meet you three."

Bucky, Quillo, and Spike shiver after seeing Simon's fangs while he smiles.

Quillo (nervous): "Y-You don't wanna drink our b-blood?"

Penny (in a stern voice): "Quillo, mind your manners."

Simon: "No, it's ok. I understand the young one's reaction. I'm afraid it's a bad stereotype that bats get whether it's from humans or animals." (Scoffs) "And the worst part of it all is that vampire bats are the ones who spread the stereotype the most. That's something I need to tell every animal I meet, vampire bats are big jerks!" (Stomps cane on the ground once) "They like to scare the wits out of animals and enjoy it when others believe that they are vampires. They always bullied me when I was your age because I didn't drink blood, I ate fruit. You are nine years old, aren't you?"

Quillo (surprised): "How do you know how old I am without even seeing me?!"

Simon (grins): "Well, I may be blind, but my sense of hearing and smell are perfect. I could tell by your voice because I too am a family bat with my own mate, Celine, and three lovely daughters that are nine years old as well. Their names are Marilyn, Christine, and Claire. (Serious) "You see I was flying here to search for fruit, but I overheard other animals saying that ever since humans came in over winter, all the berry bushes were cut down. It's been four days since any of us have eaten something. I'm afraid that my little ones will starve *sniff* if I don't find fruit soon…" (Lowers head in despair).

Stella: "Don't worry, uh, Simon. We have some berries in the log. Want them?"

Simon (head comes right back up in surprise, but filled with happiness): "R-Really? Do you mean it?"

Stella: "Of course. Verne, go get the berries."

Verne: "Okay, be back soon." (Rushes back to the log)

Simon: "Thank you so very much, Mrs.….?"

Stella (shakes Simon's hand): "Stella. I'm a skunk, and this is my mate…"

Tiger (steps forward and shakes Simon's hand): I, Prince Tigerious Mammhooht Shabbaz—a Persian cat. But you can call me Tiger for short."

Simon: "A skunk and a cat, mates?"

Stella: "Yeah, well we have a motto too: You don't have to be the same species to fall in love."

Simon: "Well, since you put it that way, it makes since. Who says that there are restrictions when becoming mates with someone you truly love? And that is a great motto if I should say so myself!"

Tiger: "And last but not least, this is…"

Hammy (zooms forward and shakes Simon's hand rapidly, but won't let go): "Hammy!"

Simon: "Nice to meet you, Hammy. But what are you?"

Hammy: "I'm Hammy!"

Verne (with berries in his hand): "He's an American red squirrel…You can let go of his hand now, Hammy."

Hammy: "Oh, Okay!" (Let's go of Simon's hand)

Simon (Sniffs): "Are those berries I smell?"

Verne: "Yes. After the humans came here there's been only one berry bush left over, and it was always what we liked to call, the 'runt of the litter' because it rarely bore any berries. But I guess it's better to bear few berries than no berries at all." (Puts berries in Simon's hand)

Simon: "Once again, thank you! My mate and girls are going to be so happy!"

RJ's mind has been pondering ever since Stella mentioned giving the berries to Simon. He realizes that no matter how noble the gesture of letting Simon have the berries he now holds in his hand, that this would only solve the bat's problem in the short run. Coupled with his blindness, the soft and shy-sounding voice of the bat also indicates he's not the adventurous type to steal fruit from human picnickers, especially since he's a bat and therefore not active in the daytime when humans normally spend their time outdoors.

RJ thinks back to the generosity his family had shown him in the first week he met them by surprising him with the Pad they made for him as thanks for helping them get food. The welcome mat, car seat, TV, and other accessories was something RJ will never forget. And the thing that surprised RJ the most about that act of kindness—even to this day—was that they were neither family at that point, nor were they even friends, but rather strangers. Strangers who opened their hearts and care to another stranger who had not been anything like that before he met them. With that memory of selfless generosity in mind, RJ comes up with a great idea.

RJ: "We can even get some fruit while going on raids and bring it to you if you'd like that.

Simon (gasps): "Really?! You'd all do that for me and my family…?"

RJ: "You bet!"

Simon: "I-I don't know how to thank you all for your kindness. I've heard that there are always good Samaritans out in the world. I just didn't reckon on finding them so soon."

Ozzie: "Anytime pal."

Simon: "Well, it's been a while since I left…Time to return to the roost." (Retracts cane and puts it away)

Heather: "How will you know where to find us when you come back?"

Simon: "Don't worry, I can hear you or smell you a mile away; I'll have no trouble finding my way back here. Farewell, for now."

Simon proceeds to flaps wings and flies away while the hedgies all say or wave goodbye.

Hammy (yawning): "What time is it?"

Heather (pulls out a cell phone from her pouch and looks at the clock): "It's ten past midnight"

Verne: "Well, time to go to sleep."

RJ: "Yeah. We'll need to rest well before going on a heist."

They all head back into the log and say goodnight to each other.

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From that day on, they made sure to get fruit while going on heists and Simon and his family of sunglasses-wearing, retractable cane-holding bats would return to gather it. Pretty soon the handshakes became hugs and the hedgies had gotten new friends out of an unexpected Halloween Surprise.

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This was my first Fan Fic, and I hope you enjoyed it. There are more stories coming this way, so I hope to post a new one soon! Chao!

And looking back, I believe this story has aged quite well...at least in my opinion. ;)