Kevin shut the door gently behind him, resting his forehead against it. Edd probably thought he hadn't heard either the whisper or what followed. He pulled his sleeve over his hand, swiping at the tears. That wasn't how this was supposed to go. Nathan and Nazz had overheard Eddward's question and after hearing his answer and knowing he wasn't being honest, they had pushed and prodded him into telling Edd the truth a few days later. He hadn't known that almost everything had started going wrong for Edd. He hadn't known that the love of his life could hide his emotions that well when he felt the need. He hadn't known.

And so he made a mistake.

He stood in front of Eddward's door, gathering his courage. Taking one more deep breath, he raised his fist and knocked. He frowned, eyeing his watch. Edd shouldn't be taking a shower, so why was he taking so long? He looked back to the door, knocking again, louder.

"Edd? Edd, I need to talk to you." Kevin called, eyes moving over the door like he could see his boyfriend behind the wood. A few seconds later the door swung open, a confused swimmer behind it.

"Is something the matter, Pumpkin?" Kevin leaned forward, eyes squinting as he took in Edd's face.

"Are you okay?" Edd stiffened, eyes darting away for a moment.

"I am well, Pumpkin. If that is all…" He started to close the door and Kevin put his hand against it.

"That isn't all. I have something to tell you." Edd sighed, stepping back to let Kevin in. After he kicked off his shoes and followed Edd to the living room, he sighed and rubbed his hands against his khakis. "Alright, well… Do you remember what you asked me a few days ago?" Confusion clouded Eddward's features. He hadn't taken a seat like Kevin had, indicating he wanted this over with.

"Indeed. Why are you questioning this?"

"Because my answer wasn't the entire truth." Edd twitched, eyeing Kevin warily before sighing.

"Well, what is done is done. Is that all?"

"Why do you want me gone? What are you hiding?"

"Nothing, Pumpkin. I merely have a slew of homework to get done along with chores."

"You don't get like this because of that. Can I at least tell you the full truth before you kick me out?"

"I hardly think now is a good time, Kevin. Perhaps tomorrow."

"If I wait I won't be able to do it. Please, Edd. It won't take long." Edd stared at him, silent before sighing quietly in defeat.

"If it will not take long, then I suppose you may as well." Kevin smiled, patting the seat next to him. Eddward sighed again, moving to take the offered seat.

"You asked why I agreed to go out with you, and I told you it was because you looked genuine, right?"

"Indeed."

"Well, I wasn't lying." Edd laughed quietly. "But… I also said yes because I was scared." That stopped his laugh and Eddward winced. "You terrified me just by being in the same room. And then you approached me one day, just you, Jimmy and Jonny nowhere to be seen. And you stopped me from running, but not violently. You sounded so nervous, you know? I couldn't help but listen. And I'm glad I did. I told you I hoped I enjoyed the date. But…"

"But you were lying." Edd murmured, arms on his knees as he looked at the immaculate carpet.

"Not entirely." Kevin rushed, scooting closer. "I really did want to enjoy the date. And I had a crush on you, even though I thought I was crazy because of it."

"You didn't agree because I sounded genuine, did you?" Kevin looked away.

"No." He admitted, his own eyes finding the carpet. "No, I didn't." Edd nodded, standing.

"Thank you for alerting me to this, Pumpkin."

"I'm not done."

"Then finish." Edd wasn't looking at him and his arms were crossed. Kevin stood, placing a hand on his arm.

"I… promise that you won't be mad?"

"Why would I be mad, Kevin?" He sighed.

"Because the reason I accepted was because I thought, even though you knew threw punches-" Edd turned to face Kevin, pulling his arm away.

"You believed I would hit you if you declined." He sounded incredulous as he stepped away.

"Edd-" He reached out his hand again and Edd glared.

"I believe it is time for you to leave, Kevin."

"I didn't want to tell you-"

"Then perhaps you shouldn't have." Edd turned, giving Kevin his back.

"I'm sorry, but it was the first thing to go through my mind!" Edd turned around again, leaning close with a glare.

"I will not deny that I touched you when you were my target – I cannot deny that. But I never struck you."

"I know you didn't."

"Then why did you believe I would when I asked you a "yes" or "no" question?"

"Edd-"

"Why?"

"Because that's what all the others did! They'd ask questions and if they didn't get the answer they wanted, they hit me." Kevin was trembling, staring hard at the floor as he fought back tears. This isn't how it was supposed to go. When he raised his chin he was met with Eddward's wounded expression.

"You're trembling." The words were mumbled as Eddward took a small step away.

"Well…" What the hell are you going to say, Kevin? "Well, yeah, I'm trying not to cry"? That won't make this worse at all.

"… Do you still believe I may yet hit you?" Kevin's eyes widened and he waved his hands in front of him.

"No! God no. Even when we were fighting you never made a move to touch me."

"Then why are you trembling?"

"Because it wasn't supposed to go like this!"

"Did you expect me to smile and wave it away, Kevin? Honesty is all I ask for."

"And this is me being honest!" Edd's hands tightened their grip on his jacket as he sighed.

"And this is me actually wanting to be alone." Kevin froze, staring in shock as Edd made his way to the stairs.

"Wait, Edd! God… I'm so fucking sorry." Edd took a deep breath, clenching his jaw at the way it shook.

"I do not like people seeing me like this, go away."

"But Edd… I… I didn't mean for this…"

"Well, it happened. As you said a while ago, one cannot change the past."

"Edd, I know I made a mistake, but I love you and I want to fix this. I can't leave things this way."

"I will be fine come tomorrow."

"No, you won't. I know you better than that. You won't be fine. You'll just bottle up your emotions until you grow to resent me… We need to fix this."

"I couldn't resent you if I tried, Pumpkin. I've had worse and as long as I live here, worse will probably come. Learning of the little lie would not have bothered me had other things not happened. I will be fine."

"But it wasn't a little lie… I really hurt you. I was stupid. I shouldn't have done that to you, not after all how much effort you've put into opening up for me." He sniffled, wiping away tears. "I wasn't fair. I never even gave you the benefit of the doubt, both on this and when you asked me out."

"You are far from stupid, Kevin, and you gave me the chance I asked for. Now all I ask is that you do not see this." Edd's arms wound around his torso, fingers clinging to the leather. Kevin recognized the gesture too well – how many times had he himself done the same thing? – and he bit his lip. Eddward Rockwell was breaking and trying to hold himself together.

"But why? Why do you not want me to see? Why are you so desperate to push me away when you are at your most vulnerable?" He took a step towards Eddward, his hand raised.

"Just leave me alone!" Kevin jumped slightly, retracting his hand. Edd was glaring at him over his shoulder, a few tear tracks down his face. Seeing Kevin jump, his shoulders slumped and he looked away once more before continuing. "It is nothing personal towards you, Kevin. I do not let anyone see me like this."

"But I want to help you… I want to be your rock."

"I am afraid I have been my own rock for far too long, Kevin."

"But I'm your boyfriend! That's what I'm here for! I just want you to feel safe around me…"

"Do not believe that I do not feel safe around you, Pumpkin." One hand released his jacket to clutch his dog tags tightly. "There are merely too many small things that I do not wish to bother you with."

"But you wouldn't be bothering me, Edd! I told you I love you and I meant it and everything that comes with it."

"That does not change the fact that there are more important things for you to focus on, Kevin."

"There is nothing more important to me than you!" He bit his lip, hands fisting at his sides.

"Kevin, please." Kevin looked at the floor. "I myself refuse to see myself in this state." He paused to take another quiet, shuddering breath. "We can talk tomorrow." Kevin glared at the floor before nodding, remembering only afterwards that Edd has his back to him.

"Fine. But I refuse to back down in the future… I care about you, Edd, so fucking much, and I never want to hurt you again." Edd laughed quietly, the sound weak.

"You are far from the source of my pain, Kevin. I was simply weak today." He screwed his eyes shut and hunched into himself, dog tags held tight in his fist. "Please leave…"

"Crying does not make you weak, Edd." Kevin lingered for a moment, not wanting to leave when Eddward so obviously needed comforting. He bit his lip, knowing staying would most likely only make things worse, and made his way quickly to the door, grabbing his shoes.

"If only I could believe you, Pumpkin." Edd whispered before letting himself sink into a crouch, a broken sob ripping from his throat. Kevin froze by the door, looking over his shoulder towards the living room before his shoulders slumped and he left the house, resting his forehead against the door afterwards. I didn't know… But that isn't an excuse for just making it worse, is it? He sighed, feeling the tears pour.

"I fucked up, Edd." He whispered to the wood, placing his hand against it. "I'm so sorry…"