I'm new to fanfiction so I'd really appreciate some constructive criticism and reviews! So read on and I hope you enjoy! =]
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Mortal Instruments or any of the characters- they belong to the fantastic Cassandra Clare!
In the short time since Clary's mother had first gone missing everything had changed. Quiet, unassuming, academic Luke was a werewolf. Not alone was he a werewolf but he was the alpha of his pack. Her mother had once been a shadow hunter and had hidden Clary's true identity from her and tampered with her memories. Not to mention that her mother was now in an unrelenting, unnatural sleep with no sign of waking up any time soon. Even Jace who she had only met had changed in a way. It wasn't his fault- he was still the same person, the person she loved. He changed only in her perception of him. He was no longer just Jace, now he was Jace Morgenstern- her brother. Clary had lost her home and everything else about the life she had led for the last fifteen years. In their place she had gained new friends, new enemies and some truly terrifying experiences.
Through it all, Clary had relied on one person to hold her world together. The one person who had not changed. He had been the glue between the past and the present. Simon. But now even Simon had changed. She had accepted it easily when he became a vampire; after all it was better than the alternative- losing him altogether. Being undead hadn't changed Simon all that much, except for maybe a little extra confidence. What had changed Simon was Maia.
When Simon first 'broke up' with Clary she hadn't been upset. It was a little awkward maybe but in comparison to the emotional plane crash she had endured afterwards when Jace promised to just be her brother and nothing more, it had been relatively painless. Clary had even told herself she was happy for Simon. It was good that he had found someone who could return his feelings. He deserved that much. Even if she couldn't have one, Simon deserved his happily ever after.
It wasn't until the first time she saw Simon and Maia really together that Clary began to realise how much it had affected her. Over the years, even though she had never consciously noticed Simon's feelings for her, it was clear now that she had grown to depend on the fact that he was always going to be there. She had taken his devotion and love for granted. She wasn't sure what it was that she depended on it for… An ego boost? A back up plan? Comfort? Whatever it was she knew it wasn't nearly enough to build a relationship on, but still she missed it. And Clary couldn't help feeling ashamed of missing the commitment she had never returned!
It was a Friday evening and Clary was sitting around in Luke's watching bad TV. She was bored and she was scared of being alone with her thoughts, so she called Simon. He sounded distracted but he still picked up on the hints she was dropping for an invite and asked her to call over. A half an hour later Clary was standing in Simon's front porch with her finger on the doorbell. She was more than a little shocked when Maia opened it. When she saw Clary she beamed and seemed genuinely happy to see her. Clary couldn't honestly reciprocate the gesture but out of politeness she tried. She smiled weakly and said hi.
Clary had never really dated, she never got involved in the other girls silly dramas, but now she was starting to see why it usually ended in tears. At first it was easy enough. The three of them sat around chatting. Clary hadn't seen Maia in a while so it was easy to make painless, casual conversation about what she had been doing for the past few weeks. When the conversation dried up Clary quickly sent Simon a glance that translated SOS! He picked up on it and switched on a movie so they could sit in silence. Then things got harder. Maia moved from her perch on the windowsill to the couch. She cuddled up into Simon and made herself comfortable.
The last time Clary had really seen the two of them together Maia had been viciously attacking Simon. She couldn't help marvelling at how being held captive could bring natural enemies together. Clary felt very out of place in Simon's familiar living room. She felt distinctly like a third wheel, though she didn't seem to be bothering the other two.
Every few moments Clary found herself staring at Maia loathingly and she had to keep reminding herself that she didn't love Simon that way, this was for the best. She had to keep reminding herself that she actually liked Maia, she was a nice girl. Its just a sisterly protective instinct, Clary reassured herself every time she caught herself shooting daggers at the sweet, curvy girl snuggling up to her best friend. But she knew deep inside that it wasn't out of worry for Simon that she was starting to despise someone she would have recently deemed a friend. It was simply jealousy.
It was only when Clary started to feel a twinge of pain in her chest every time she noticed Simon and Maia share a silent moment as their eyes would meet lovingly, that she realised her pathetic excuses weren't going to hold up! The crushing, devastating pain of losing whatever small hope of a future she had with Jace had blinded her to the other, smaller hurt she was feeling. Clary realised that she did love Simon. She always had on some level she had always been in love with him. And though she did see him almost like her brother, he wasn't; Jace was. And she had enjoyed the time she had spent in Simons arms. She had liked the gentle feel of his lips on hers and how comfortable she was with him. Being with Simon was easy. It was nice.
She noticed that Simon wasn't making his usual wisecracks about the movie. He didn't get up and make popcorn with melted chocolate for dipping in- Clary's favourite movie snack. He wasn't trying to entertain her at the boring bits by imitating the actors or throwing pillows. Simon looked happy, he looked comfortable and he didn't seem to have even noticed these changes. He was with Maia and it was almost as if Clary wasn't there at all. The boy she grew up with wasn't acting the way she was used to and she didn't like how that felt.
As Simon's lips absentmindedly grazed Maia's cheek softly it hit home. Simon wasn't going to fight for Clary's attention anymore. He wasn't going to wait patiently for her to notice that she loved him too. Clary realised that Simon had moved on. A small part of her heart belonged to him and now it was breaking too. The glue was gone and Clary's world was falling apart before her eyes. In her mind she stood up and ran from the house crying hysterically. But in reality Clary stayed sitting awkwardly in her armchair staring determinedly at the screen, blinking back the tears welling up behind her eyes. Simon deserved that much.