Chapter 1: Damn the Stereo!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Starfox or any of its characters
"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" The scream, all too common in heavy metal, thundered down the Great Fox's halls and into Fox's room, causing him to bolt upright in bed. Now wide awake, Fox swore profanely. "What the fuck, Falco? Turn down your goddamn stereo, or I'll blow it up!" The guitar riffs escalated in volume.
Fox got out of bed, pulled on a pair of sweatpants, and grabbed his blaster from his bedside. He had resolved to destroy the source of the Worst. Morning. Ever. In his head, he conjured a 3D map of Falco's room. A mirror stood across from the stereo. Mind made up, left, right, left, right…the pace of his footsteps quickened. Falco, deaf as usual, heard pounding bass and machine-gun drums.
Past Slippy's room, past Tyson's room, blaster shot charging, blaster swinging like a broken pendulum. Fox's vision blurred; all he saw was the rapidly-approaching door and the inhumane sounds behind it. His steps were in a staccato rhythm (dun tun dun tun dun…) "3…2…1…" Fox stutter-stepped and leapt. At the zenith of the leap, Fox swung his blaster 'round and fired.
A blue bolt discharged from the blaster, speeding towards the mirror; while Fox "flew" into the storage closet at an awkward angle. He was thus unable to see the spectacular explosion of the stereo; a red-orange fireball emitting a blinding white flash, while the smell of charred metal permeated the ship's air.
As light and color returned to his eyes, Falco immediately knew who had blasted his stereo. "FOX!" he screamed, furious.
Meanwhile, Fox extricated himself from the boxes he flew into. If a Hollywood director had seen his shot, the man would have been crying at its sheer awesomeness. John Woo would have approved. Fox took one step and WHAM!
There was a slight cracking sound as Falco's fist (I think) met Fox's muzzle, as wind met mountain, and Fox fell spinning to the cold floor. "Sweep the leg!" The ultimate cheesy 80's quote echoing in his head, Fox swept Falco's feet out from under him. Fox lifted his heel over Falco's ribs and prepared to finish him when…
"THE GENERAL'S ON THE HOLO!!!!!" Slippy cried at an eardrum-splitting volume. Tyson thought, The General can't see this. Time froze suddenly while he walked over to Fox and pushed him away from Falco. He then picked Falco up and placed him at attention. Time resumed its normal pace, and Fox's heel plummeted to the floor as The General apparated in front of them.
"OWWWWW!!" Fox cried as he flailed madly, embarrassing himself. "A-TEN-TION!!" The General barked. Standing carefully on one foot, Fox gave The General a hearty salute. "At ease," The General ordered.
"There are times when you need soldiers of fortunes/sons of bitches. This is one of them. A CDF fighter containing information more valuable than your ship was shot down and captured. Your mission-"
"is to recover the information at all costs. Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before. Now how much are you gonna pay us?" Falco interjected.
"Is that all, 'Pyle'?" The General asked. Silence reverberated throughout the ship, from the storage closet to the engine room. "You all will be rewarded handsomely after you recover the information. Now move out!" The General disappeared into charred air. "You heard The General, let's go!" Falco sprinted to the hangar, with Fox right on his tail.
"Dammit Fox, you stepped on my tail!" "My bad." When they weren't arguing, "PAYDAY!" echoed through the halls.