Yo everybody! Thank you for reading this and PLZ review!

I own nothing except the plot and my dearest Rachel.

Eilene, I owe you loads, heroine!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My name is Rachel, I am 18 years old, I have bright orange hair (for the moment), dark, black eyes, a perfect, I can be so bold to say, body and I am currently reading my favorite book.

Janet Evanovich's Hard Eight.

Unfortunately Hard Eight is the only one I can get my hands on and the other tomes are virtually out of my reach.

"Rachel Elena Romelli! Get here this instant!" Yells my father.

Unfortunately, ever since my mother died a few years ago he started to drink and would yell all the time.

Pretending not to have heard, I move further into my small bed and keep reading.

The hard and loud steps pull me out of Stephanie Plum's world and into the cold reality.

Whimpering, I pick up my purse, book and my black coat and jump out of the window, hearing my door crash open and my father's drunken yells fill the air.

I slip down the roof onto the soft grass and run swiftly to my friend, Nicholas who was always there for me on these occasions.

He is also the man who taught me how to fight, pick locks and shoot approximately.

I knock once and he opens immediately in white boxer shorts.

He waves me in and goes back to his room where one of his many ladies is waiting rather impatiently by the sounds she makes when he goes back in.

Smiling one of my rare smiles, I make three hot chocolates and set them down on the neat table, taking out chocolate chip cookies.

The door opens just as I finish and I look up at the woman standing awkwardly with one of Nick's shirts as sole clothing. Shrugging mentally I sit down and sip the hot chocolate, sighting contentedly.

Nicholas comes out and kisses the blond woman's shoulder from behind before dragging her to the table.

"Rachel this is Claire." He introduces and takes his cup.

I nod and down my drink and get up, leaving them to it and climbing to the highest part of the house and settle myself on the windowpane, drinking the sunlight.

"Hey." Nicholas's deep voice rumbles next to me.

I don't react, only nodding slightly, my eyes still closed.

The feel of warm lips on mine though brings me back to reality sure enough.

Squeaking, I push Nick away and try to figure out what just happened.

"What was that?" I ask, hearing the incredulous sound in my voice.

Nick sights and looks out the window into the clear blue sky.

I suddenly feel like I'm dropping and I scream, squeezing my eyes shut.

When I wake up I feel a soft mattress under me and the warmth of a quill half on my body, exposing my ever-hot feet and long legs.

"Hello there sweetie." Booms a familiar old voice above my head, making me jump.

I open my eyes tiredly and look straight into my dead grandma's eyes.

My eyes must have widened considerably because she chuckles and kisses my forehead.

"It's okay sweetie, I'm for real and I have made you come to my world for a while."

I blink and burst into hysterical laughter.

Grandma holds me until I stop laughing and start sobbing in her shoulder.

"There there, it's alright," She wipes my tears and I sniff, "you will love it here."

I smile weakly and she brings a cup of hot tea to my lips.

"How did I get here?" I ask, gulping the tea down, hungry and thirsty like twenty.

"I summoned you here." I raise my eyebrow inquiringly but she only shakes her head, amused.

"You'll understand soon enough."

And with that she leaves.

I only notice the bag on the bed once Grandma has left through a tattered looking door.

"I'm going insane." I grumble, opening the bag and shoving through my favourite miniskirts and tight jeans, accompanied by a few sexy tank tops with FMPs.

Once dressed OK I step out and am instantly taken over by a whole family!

I start panicking, my claustrophobia kicking in until a tall Italian man enters my line of vision.

YOW! I gotta figure who that hot guy is!

"SILENCE!" And everyone stops babbling, making way for grandma.

"Can you not see she is afraid? Rachel, deary, come take some breakfast."

I nod meekly, feeling the walls recede and the claustrophobia let its grip loosen.

Taking a deep breath I open the window and look out, my mouth dropping.

"Grandma!" I cry, turning around to find the whole family's eyes on me.

"Uh…I'm Stephanie Plum and I guess you already know Grandma Mazur, this is Joseph, Valerie, my mom and dad."

I feel my mouth drop and my eyes bulge.

"Where is Grandma?" I ask, voice shaking.

She appears at my elbow, smiling up at me crookedly.

"This is Rachel everyone, I only just found her, she is the daughter of my long lost friend and I told her to come here."

Everyone stays stunned a few moments before I am swept up in welcoming hugs.

"So." I ask Grandma a few interesting hours later. "You brought me into Janet Evanovich's world to what end? Is this a dream? Am I dead?"

Grandma chuckles. "Yes, no and no, you are not dead and this is not a dream."

"Why am I here?" I ask suspiciously, pinching my arm for, like the hundredth time today.

"You are here to save this pitiful and yet wonderful little burg town." Grandma says.

I put my head in my hands. "How am I even supposed to do that?"

"You'll find out soon enough. In the mean time, Steph has accepted to let you accompany her at her job, an ass kicking one." And with one wink to me she disappears out the door.

Two days later, Monday, before going to Steph's cousin Vinnie's office, we swing by the mall and I buy myself a black soft glove for my left hand and black lipstick.

I have had the strange mark on my left hand ever since I could remember and since I always got bullied because of it (it has the shape of a cat's claw) I took to wearing a glove.

We jump back in the car as I put the hot new glove on and I apply a generous amount of black lipstick.

There! I feel ready to go face the world! Yeah, dream on Nell.

Oh, sorry, I should explain a few things to you, reader, my friends took to calling me Nell ever since third grade so when someone calls me Rachel, it's either to scowl or yell.

"Evil thoughts plaguing your mind?" Steph asks sympathetically.

Smoothing my face to a Yarmani blank, oops, I forgot to tell you (AGAIN!) I am also a HUGE fan of Tamora Pierce and I have practiced ever since I read the first book to be like the Yarmanies if needed and keep my face devoid of emotions.

Cool hunh?

"Oh, just…the clouds." I shrug, pointing to the blackening sky.

Steph nods.

"Are you married?" I ask suddenly, seeing a ring on her finger.

"Didn't we tell you? Yes, to Joseph."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well! There goes my first chappie! DO review and I'll update soon with chptr 2!