CHAPTER ONE
Hello all. This is (I think) the first rewrite I have ever done. Maybe? tell me if I'm wrong. :P This is, in no way, serious, sad, bloody, or anything good. Just humor(?) So…FLAMES ARE WELCOME ):D
-KitTea
Once upon a time…in a magical fairyland-
No, I mean in a world known as 'Warriors', there was a grumpy, rude, blind medicine cat named Jayfeather. Now, Jayfeather loved his herbs. He loved them so much that he even cared for them and made a little garden for them to live in. One day, when he was tending for his precious little herbs, he smelled something strong and minty.
"My StarClan!" He exclaimed. "It's…a sudden mutation of catmint! It's everywhere!" He suddenly wasn't grumpy or anything anymore. The catmint must've turned him OOC or something...
Jayfeather stuffed all the catmint into his mouth (it was a lot; he almost passed out) and ran back to camp. He burst into the camp, surprising everyone. "Hey-"
No one was listening. Squirrelflight was assigning everyone to patrols, Leafpool was putting some weird poultice on Purdy's leg, and Bramblestar was lounging in the sun, chatting with Lionblaze. Dovewing and Bumblestripe were glaring at each other, and Ivypool was trying to get them to 'kiss and make up', as some(?) called it.
Jayfeather cleared his throat. "Hey-"
Some kits ran in front of the medicine cat, chasing each other around and tripping him. "HEY!"
Everything stopped.
Bramblestar sighed and rolled his eyes. "What is it, Jayfeather? And keep your voice down, there are some cats in this Clan that are trying to sleep."
"I found an abnormal amount of catmint!" Leafpool's head shot up.
"It's a miracle!" She screeched. "Quick, feed it to everyone!"
Jayfeather blinked, wondering why he was suddenly able to see his clanmates, and why Leafpool was acting strange and seriously out of character. "Huh?"
As Leafpool force fed everyone (including Jayfeather) catmint, no one seemed to realize what was going to happen. Because, for some oddly strange reason, if any cat eats catmint, they get high or something...
Brightheart's eyes widened. She tried to hide her kits. "Don't do drugs, kids." She whispered.
ONE MOON LATER AT THE GATHERING ISLAND WHERE THE CLANS GATHER UNDER SOME TRUCE PROBABLY SET BY THIS PLACE/THING CALLED STARCLAN
Onestar cleared his throat. "So…" He began. "I will begin! My Clan is doing great, the apprentices-"
Bramblestar shoved the WindClan leader out of the way. "ANYWAY," He hissed. "I have an announcement!"
Blackstar curled his lip. "Why you-"
Mistystar looked horrified. "What are you doing, Bramblestar?"
"I said I have an announcement!" He repeated. "I'm changing my Clan's name!" There was a collective gasp. "It's now going to be known as TacoClan!"
Onestar rolled his eyes. "Really? TacoClan?" He shoved Bramblestar out of the way. "I could do better! I'm changing my Clan name to DonutClan!"
Mistystar pushed everyone off the tree. "I'm changing my Clan to ChocolatesauceClan!"
"That's too long!" Someone called out. Mistystar let out a growl of annoyance.
"What about you, Blackstar? Are you going to join our random catmint frenzy?" Bramblestar asked.
"Well…" Blackstar sighed. "I guess." Everyone waited for his answer. "RussetfurisawesomeClan!"
In a land far, far away, a black cat with green eyes and a white-tipped tail face-pawed. "Are you kidding me, younger myself?"