Author's Notes: New story, that might end up with more than one chapter (there is actually a huge plot to this). But for now, it's just a oneshot for Sakura's birthday (which, I know, was yesterday). ;)
I'm not very satisfied with this chapter—it's not portrayed how I wanted it to be, lol. Anyway, enjoy~
Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Poem (Love Scars) belongs to Veroxion. Plot belongs to Veroxion.
She wrote on her legs
with razorblades the love notes
she wanted to give.
They left love scars and
she was alone,
until her eyes met his.
- Veroxion
I traced intricate designs on the plain white sheets, whispering nothings to myself. The door to my room suddenly opened, and I averted my eyes to the block of wood. The nurse there smiled as she wheeled in a cart, a tray of food on top.
"Good morning, Sakura." she greeted, almost too kindly for my taste. I stared at her for a moment as she continued to smile. "Are you hungry?" I shook my head and she sighed a little, her smile fading slightly. "Then, how about we go outside?" she strolled over to the window and pulled the white curtains open, revealing golden sunshine. I blinked, not used to bright lights.
"It's a lovely day." she reached for some clothes on the cart and placed them at the end of my bed. "I'll leave you to get changed. Be quick about it, your parents are coming to see you today." and with those words, I immediately brightened. I hadn't seen my parents in weeks, and knowing that they were coming to see me made me feel... happy. I dressed and waited on the bed for the nurse. She had left the cart, and though my stomach rumbled in hunger, I ignored it. I didn't want to give the nurse the satisfaction of seeing me eating—willingly.
The nurse came in, all smiles once again and led me out. "Time for your daily dose of sunshine!" she exclaimed happily.
I stood there, outside. It wasn't anything special, really. I was by myself, save for the nurse who was keeping a close eye on me. "You should smile," she said. Her voice toned down a bit. "You need to prove to us that you are mentally and medically stable to be released. You know that, right?"
I turned towards her, my pink eyebrows lifting. "How... do I prove that to you?" my voice was husky and low, the consequences of not using it after a long period of time. The nurse thought about it for a moment. "You need to put on more weight, and eat three full meals a day. Your weight has dropped considerably since you were first admitted. Also, taking your medication willingly will help. It shows us that you want to get better."
"Nothings wrong with me." I muttered but she heard it. "Sweetheart, you have to accept it—your depressed. From all the changes that have been happening in your life. It's hard being a teenager, and stress can get the better of you. It's nothing to be ashamed of, Sakura."
"What's your name again?"
She looked taken aback but answered. "Shizune."
"I'd like something to eat then, Shizune."
My parents—or rather, my mom and her boyfriend—came. My mother was in tears, sobbing all over the place and making a scene. Her boyfriend just sat there, a stern look on his face as he stared me down. As if saying: this is all your fault.
I glared defiantly back. This wasn't my fault. I knew that much. It was his, for bossing me around when he wasn't my real father. For making me feel unwelcome in my own home. For making me miserable enough to end up in this place. I sent him another evil look and he just snorted at me.
Shizune was telling my mother—after she calmed down, of course—how well I had progressed. By the way Shizune talked, I could tell she wanted me out of here as soon as possible. Great, another place where I am not needed. My mom was nodding, smiling at my improvements. That all stopped when Kenji—my mom's boyfriend—interrupted. "I don't think Sakura is ready to come home yet," I stared at him in disbelief. What right does he have to say that about me? He's not even my bloody father!
My mother nodded though and turned to Shizune. "A few more weeks." and then she stood up and walked quickly and briskly out of the room, avoiding my betrayed eyes. Out of the corner of my eye, I swear I saw Kenji smirk at me. I didn't realize I was crying until Shizune asked if I was alright. I buried my face into my hand, rocking myself a bit. "No one wants me," I whispered softly. Shizune wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight. "That's not true, love."
"My friends hated me." I whispered and Shizune seemed surprised. She brushed sticky pink bangs out of my face as I continued to speak. "They would always leave me—run off somewhere else after class, even when I asked them to wait. When we went on school camp, no one wanted to bunk with me. Then, when a wild animal took a piss in Ninaki's sleeping bag, they blamed it on me. I mean s-seriously?! What the hell?" my body shook with uncontrollable sobs. "They all made excuses so they couldn't come to my birthday party. My mother went out with Kenji. It was just me and Mori... he's my little brother. Daddy phoned... but it's not the same."
Shizune held me tighter before she led me back to my room.
"She shouldn't be in here, Tsunade. She doesn't need medical treatment."
"Why do you say that?"
"She isn't depressed. She's just... lonely. She feels as if nobody wants her."
"Sakura wants to believe that is true. Shizune, her mother cares deeply for her."
"Her mother... abandons her without even realizing it. Her father has a few problems with alcohol and money. She feels alone, Tsunade. Her friends bully her."
"What do you think she needs?"
Shizune tilted her head to the side, a sad expression on her face.
"She needs love."
I got to sit in the front seat on the way home. My mother, driving with one hand smiled down at me. Her other hand clutched mine. "I'm so glad your coming home." she whispered.
No... your not. It wasn't even your decision to let me come home. I would have still been in the mental health hospital if it weren't for Shizune. Mori popped his head between the gap of the two seats. "It's so cool that you are coming home again, Sakura!" I smiled at him. While I looked like an exact replica of my mother, Mori mirrored our father more.
"Kenji has a special treat for you." mother said.
I frowned. I didn't want anything that Kenji bought. To me, Kenji was a fucking asshole who liked to control peoples lives. In the mirror, Mori seemed to frown too. He gave me a concerned look but I just smiled, like everything was alright.
I realized then, I hadn't smiled in over eleven months...
...since this whole thing started.
We pulled up outside our house. Actually, it was Kenji's house. It was big, stylish and everything I hated. My mother loved it, which was probably why we had to move so far away—from all my non-existent friends and from my school where I was comfortable... and from my dad—to live here. I hated it. I hated it so damn much.
I managed to drag myself out of the car, and my mother unlocked the door. Kenji came out of nowhere, kissed my mom on the cheek and ruffled my hair like we were the best of pals. I bit my tongue to hold in the words I wanted to let out. To tell him not to touch me because he wasn't my father.
I took a glance towards my mom, seeing her so happy after all these years... I couldn't make her sad or unhappy. I felt, as a daughter, that it was my job to make sure she was pleased with life.
I could see, that being with Kenji did just that.
...the only problem was in return, it made me unhappy.
"A bike?" I wondered out loud. I have no idea how Kenji came up with this one. He knew I hated any type of physical sport, and after being in a mental health hospital for about a year, I was clearly out of shape. It hurt just to walk sometimes. My mom stood behind me and kissed my cheek, her hands massaging my shoulders. "It's your birthday present." she told me.
"And half your Christmas present." Kenji said gruffly.
I felt a scowl on my face. Great, instead of getting what I want, Kenji got what he wanted. Another bike to add to his stupid collection (he has a garage full). This stupid bike also cut into my Christmas present, too.
What a waste of money, I thought to myself as I excited the garage.
It was nearing midnight as I crept down the hall. Tali, my male ginger cat weaved around my feet purring. I picked him up as he nestled his head into my shoulder. I kissed his soft fur and scratched behind his ears. I then placed him down, and he walked down the hallway, his tail in the air.
The door creaked as I opened it and Mori shot up in bed. "Ungh? Sakura?" he muttered.
"Yeah... it's me." I said softly and sat down on his bed. Mori turned the lamp on and stared at me. I was six years older than him, which made him ten. We weren't like other siblings, we understood each other and agreed on most things. Sure, we fought a lot but deep down, we loved each other. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "What is it?" he asked.
"...I want to move in with dad."
Mori stared at me before frowning. "Is this because of Kenji?" I said a small yes in reply.
"He's so mean." Mori muttered and I agreed. He was mean, and greedy, and selfish and a lazy asshole. He was a lot of vulgar things, and in my opinion, he was totally wrong for my mother. He may treat her with respect, but he doesn't with me and Mori. He hates us both.
"You have school tomorrow, right?"
He nodded and I smiled before giving his forehead a soft kiss. "Night, Mori."
The next morning, Kenji shook me awake. "Get up, Sakura." he commanded ruffly. I groaned in protest. I had nothing to do today. I wasn't starting school again until later on in the year. "Leave me alone." I muttered.
That seemed to anger him because he grabbed the full glass of water on my nightstand and tipped it over me. I shrieked. "You stupid bitch!" he yelled and I scampered to the other side of my double bed. "Your mother has put up with all your foolish antics and this is how you repay her? By refusing to get your lazy ass out of bed in the fucking morning?! I'm through with this, when your mother gets home, we're taking you back to that hospital, where you belong!"
I was in tears as I grabbed my cellphone and ran into the bathroom. I sat on the closed toilet seat lid as I frantically searched my contacts for my dads number. My mom wouldn't listen, and Kenji was probably calling her now, telling her how difficult I was being. It kept ringing and ringing, and answer phone eventually picked up. I decided to ring Ayame, my dads flat mate instead.
She picked up on the second ring. I was in tears as I asked to speak with dad—if he was there. "Sakura? Sakura, whats wrong?!" she was panicked. I've known Ayame since I was a kid, since she and my dad have been flatting with each other for years. "Please," I sobbed. "Put dad on."
She did and my dads worried voice reached my ears. "Sak? What's wrong?" his voice was stern, but soft in its own way. A caring voice. "Kenji... he poured w-water over m-me, while I w-was in b-bed. He was s-saying mean t-things."
It was silent for a moment. "C-can you c-come and get m-me?" I whispered.
"I'll be there soon, baby."
Kenji was gone by the time I let myself out of the bathroom. I had packed all my stuff—I didn't want to live here anymore. I just... didn't care. Dad pounded on the door until I opened it. He hugged me tight. "Got all your things?" I nodded. He smiled and led me to his car.
It was silent until we arrived at his house.
"How long do you want to stay?"
"...forever. Please, daddy?" I asked him with pleading eyes.
He nodded. "I'll enroll you into a school." he nodded again, thoughtful. "I'll tell your mother. I'm sure she'll try and convince you to go back home."
I lay in bed while there was a knocking on the door. I ignored it and rolled over, as I listened to my parents argue. Apparently, my mother thought it inappropriate for me to stay with him and Ayame. I heard Kenji's voice, too.
"You shut up, old man! Hana here has full custody over Sakura!"
"She's still my daughter. I'm looking out for her best interests!"
Kenji was fighting my mothers battles. I heard her voice, trying to interrupt but Kenji cut her off, saying he would handle everything. Tears glistened my eyes. This is how I grew up, my parents fighting over everything. They were going to get divorced before mom found out she was pregnant with Mori. They decided to make it work, but they kept screaming at each other, with me telling them to shut up and stop fighting.
They never did... because they never listened to me.
Tsunade came today. It was at least two months since I had seen my mother and Kenji. Mori caught the bus or train to come visit us, since dad wasn't allowed around mom's house. Tsunade was the CEO and top doctor at the hospital I went to.
Today she said we had my future to discuss, like what schools I went to.
She clasped her hands together. "This one I would recommend." she handed me a brochure and I looked it over, curious to know more. "Entry exams start soon. You'll be able to live again, Sakura."
I didn't understand what she meant. She sighed a little. "Going places, having fun. That's what teenagers do."
Going... outside? I hadn't been outside... much. My sanctuary was in my room, under the covers. It was a place where I could hide from the world, where nothing bad could get me. All I did was sleep, and sometimes eat. This was the life I was content with, I didn't want a new one to replace it. "Legally, you need to finish your education." Tsunade told me with stern chestnut eyes.
She then stood up.
"I'll phone within a week."
I was going to school today. I was anxious, nervous. I was scared. People would take one look at me and frown, they would know what I had been through and would judge me because of it. I didn't want people laughing and pointing. I had suffered enough through elementary and middle school.
Daddy was holding my hand as we walked through the school gates. School students gave us odd stares and some people started to whisper and laugh. I felt ridiculous. I was holding my dads hand like I was four again... but I was scared. I needed some assurance that I wasn't doing this alone.
We arrived at the front desk and the reception gave me a schedule. Dad kissed my cheek and pressed something into my hand. It was my cellphone. "If anything goes wrong, call me." and with that, he left. As soon as he was out the door, the girl behind the desk snatched the phone off me. "Students aren't allowed phones." she all but sneered.
I bit my lip as I walked out to my first class.
I was lost. All the buildings looked the same and all the signs were wrong. I didn't know where to go and my only chance to get help was gone from that bitchy receptionist. I walked back to the locker I had been assigned and slumped down in the hallway. I was tired and walking around, trying to find where my Social Studies class was located tired me out.
"Why aren't you in class?" I looked up and there stood a girl, with bright blue eyes and long blonde hair tied up in a high ponytail. She looked beautiful, and right then and there, I wanted to be her. She looked popular and I bet everyone loved her.
I blushed a little at being found out. "Can't find my class."
She bent down and stared at me. "What class?"
"Social Studies in A4."
She smiled. "It's in A-Block."
"I don't know where that is," I whispered helplessly. She shrugged. "I'll show you," and I was pulled to my feet and soon enough, we arrived in front of a door, with 'A4' on it. The girl opened the door. The teacher turned to her. "Ino? You're not in my class, what are you—" she saw me and frowned before her face brightened a bit in recognition. "You must be Sakura Haruno?"
I nodded slowly and she seemed ecstatic. She thanked Ino before pulling me into the class. "Welcome, Sakura. Don't worry, all your subject and option teachers know. I'm Miss. Yuuhi, by the way."
She pointed me to a seat before continuing with the lesson.
I stared at the clock. My legs were shaking violently under the desk and I was thankful no one was sitting next to me. This period ended in five minutes. Then, apparently it was homeroom. I just wanted to get out of here, to return somewhere safe. Miss. Yuuhi came around to collect my work. She picked it up and I watched, amused and curious as her eyes almost bulged out. Her face lit up with a nervous smile. "S-sakura... I didn't know you were this smart."
That seemed to catch peoples attention and soon enough, everyone in the class was looking my way. I shrunk down in my seat, hearing the soft whispers floating around the classroom. Miss. Yuuhi seemed to notice and she calmed the class, sending me a wink before she continued to collect papers.
I ran out of class when the bell rang.
Mr. Hatake was my homeroom teacher. He smiled at me, gave me a pat on the head and asked how my day was. "I want to go home," I told him. He just laughed and sat behind his desk, his nose buried in a bright orange book.
I glanced around the class, everyone was with someone. Everyone had friends. I sighed and looked down at my hands, admiring the scars on the ends of my fingers, the tips vibrant red. I noticed someone sit next to me and turned. It was the girl from before—Ino, I think.
"Hi!" she greeted. "I'm Ino, we met in the hallway."
"My names Sakura." I greeted back shyly. Ino grinned at me with perfect white teeth. "Awesome name, cherry blossoms are such pretty flowers. We sell them at our flower shop. Hey, what subject do you have next?"
I blinked and liked Ino even more. She was so confident about herself. I wanted to be like that. "Um," I fetched the schedule out of my pocket and looked it over. "Art... in B10."
She gasped and clasped her hands together. "Wonderful! You'll be with me. I don't have any friends in Art." she leaned forward, arms resting on the table. "Hey, why don't you hang with me and my friends at lunch?"
I blushed a little. "Oh... I wouldn't want to intrude..."
"Nonsense! My friends will love you."
I just hoped Ino was right.
Art was a blast. Ms. Mitarashi, our pretty but scary Art teacher told us to draw and/or paint whatever. I sketched something simple—my cat, Tali. Ino looked at it and beamed. "Wow! You have some real talent there, Sakura."
"Thanks," I couldn't stop smiling. "It's my cat, Tali. He's real special to me."
Ino stuck out her bottom lip and pouted. "I love cats. I'm allergic to them, though. Sucks, huh?"
After French, the class I have after Art, it was lunch time. Ino told me she would meet me outside C4, which is where my French class is. It didn't take long for her to bound up to me. She tugged on my arm and pulled me along, giddy as ever.
She led me across to the other side of the school, where the library was located. Outside, on the grassy area, there were picnic tables. She led me to one.
"Hey guys! This is Sakura." she introduced me to her friends.
"H-hello." a girl with beautiful pearl eyes whispered out. She was playing with her fingers and bright blush seemed to be permanent on her pale cheeks.
"That's Hinata," Ino told me. "She's really shy. Seriously." she then pointed to a guy, who looked half asleep. "That's the lazy man who will someday be a homeless bum—you can call him anything, really. He won't mind."
The guy, with dark brown hair seemed to twitch. "Troublesome bitch," he muttered under his breath. "My names Shikamaru. We're in the same core class."
"Core class?" I muttered, confused. Ino laughed and sat down, not bothering to introduce anyone else seated at the table. I sat down beside her, still a bit shy and embarrassed at my confusion. "That's basically your class. You have all your main subjects with your core class. Your main teacher is your homeroom teacher. Get it?"
I shrugged. Not really, but I decided to just go with the flow. Ino then continued to introduce me. "Chouji's the one who's gobbling down food like it's his last day on Earth. Naruto's the dickless pervert making googly eyes at you. Shino is that dude over there—he's with us but likes to be alone. He's a bit weird... he thinks he can talk to bugs."
"I can hear you, Ino."
Ino gave off a nervous laugh. "Ahahah... yeah, just go back to your little insect friends, bug boy!"
"Kiba is the dude who has rabies—stay away from him. He's a flirt machine. And Sasuke—um, he'll probably end up stalking you by the look he's sending your way."
I took a glance at Sasuke—dark raven hair and equally dark obsidian eyes. Unlike everyone else at the table, he wasn't eating. His food was placed neatly on the table and his hands were clasped in front of him, his chin resting on them, his head tilted in my direction. He regarded me with a cool gaze and I felt a blush seep onto my cheeks.
"Stop eye-raping her, bastard!" that was Naruto, despite his innocent, cheery looks, he had a foul mouth. He was now snarling something at Sasuke, while Kiba watched in amusement. Chouji proceeded to stuff food down his throat. Hinata was trying to calm them down and Shikamaru had fallen asleep. Shino kept away from the group.
Ino laughed along with them, and Sasuke continued to stare at me.
I felt... happy.
Sasuke, Shikamaru and Hinata were in the same core class as me. Naruto and Chouji took the same French class with me and I took P.E with 11A, which happened to be Kiba, Shino and Naruto's core class. I was with someone I knew for all the classes I had.
Shikamaru is fun to talk to—although extremely lazy (I now believe Ino's words about him becoming a homeless bum) he was incredibly smart. A genius, so we had something in common. Though, while I liked doing work, he just yawned and went to sleep, muttering on and on about how troublesome it was.
Hinata is sweet. I've felt myself take up a 'big sister' role with her. She's so shy and follows me everywhere, and is so considerate and unselfish. She has this big crush on Naruto, who is as oblivious as ever. I've tried to help her stop stuttering, which is her only flaw.
Ino... is brilliant. She's now my best friend, and while she isn't popular like I thought she was at first, she is a wonderful person. Although, she's a bit pushy and bossy, she's always has the right idea. Unfortunately, one of her favorite hobbies is shopping. I'm not that into it—walking around a giant mall, getting in and out of clothes all day wasn't really what I liked to do.
Kiba is hilarious. He'll tell me joke, shamelessly try and flirt with me before Ino will punch him out and drag him away. Then he'll repeat the cycle the next day. I found out that he doesn't have rabies—he's shown me medical papers to prove it—but he does have a obsession with dogs.
Chouji, I've found is quite amusing. He'll do almost anything to get food, and I don't mind giving him my lunch. My dad packs so much anyway and I don't eat much anymore. We share a bond through food, I suppose, which can only be Chouji's one love.
Shino is silent and hardly speaks, but when he does, his words are... creepy, though wise. He's helped me with Science homework, and in return, I helped him with his Art.
Sasuke, I admit is really, really attractive. I find myself liking him more and more. He's arrogant, rude and egotistical... but really sweet at times. He'll hold books for me, pass me notes during class and he shares a love for cats as well (I find that a bit weird, though. He looks like the type of guy who stabs kittens in his spare time).
...I knew what I had found.
I had found real friends.
Today was Friday and Sasuke, Hinata and myself were walking to my house. After parting ways with Naruto and Kiba at the train station, we had to stop off at the library for some books. Now, we were turning onto the street where I live.
Hinata and I were talking happily and Sasuke was lazily walking behind us, his hands shoved into his pockets. We were about to turn into my drive when a car honked from behind us. I stopped and turned around, expecting to see some disgruntled driver. But no, my mother was jumping out of Kenji's car and running towards me. She yanked me away from Hinata and Sasuke and pulled me into a hug. "Oh, Sakura!" she cried.
I pulled away from her, confused. "What are you doing here?"
Kenji walked up beside my mom. "We're here to take you home."
I frowned and glared at him. "I'm not going anywhere."
Kenji seemed shocked that I was answering back. His eyes narrowed and he stepped forward. "You will do as you are told, do you understand?"
"Don't tell me what to do!" I sneered and turned around, grabbing Sasuke and Hinata's wrists and dragging them up the driveway towards my house. Kenji started to yell at us.
"You come back here now! DO YOU HEAR ME?"
I heard my mom trying to calm him down, to let it go. I would supposedly 'come around' in due time. I snorted to myself. Who where they trying to kid? I wanted nothing to do with Kenji and as long and my mom was living with him, dating him... I wanted nothing to do with her either.
I glanced at Sasuke and Hinata. Sasuke's face was grim and troubled and Hinata's looked worried and confused. I smiled.
I didn't need them, because I had friends.
I was thankful that Sasuke and Hinata didn't question me—I wouldn't know what to tell them. It was Sunday and everyone was going to meet at the mall for a movie and then we were going to get lunch.
After zipping up the zipper for my pants, I gathered my jacket in case it got cold later and said goodbye to my dad.
I walked out the door.
I felt like I was walking into a new life.
Author's Notes: Hope you enjoyed! Please review and if you have time. If I get enough reviews, I'll continue, because I'm trying to focus on my other fanfiction at the moment, and there won't be much point if I continue this and no one likes it. The SasuSaku will come in later - there's gonna be heaps of it, lol.