In Search Of Green Spandex
Oneshot
By: Rai-Child
Fandom: Naruto
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters.
Summary: Temari and Kankuro get a rather unfortunate surprise... LeeGaa, Oneshot.
Author's Note: The spellchecked version! X3 Enjoy!
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Tapping.
What the-
Yes. Irritating beyond words, but tapping nevertheless.
Temari raised her head groggily, fixing a rather ill-aimed scowl on her pillow. Of course, she knew the cotton and artificial stuffing couldn't possibly be the source of the noise, but still. It was late, (or, more accurately, very early), and therefore she couldn't be held responsible for any confusion. She needed something to glare at, and since it was the thing she had been drooling on for the past few hours, it seemed to be a suitable target for her bitter expression.
More tapping. She sat up properly, rubbing sleep-filled eyes irritably with both fists. Once the haze had cleared, bluish orbs flicked over to the alarm clock on the bedside table, taking a moment to adjust... The happily flashing LED lights displayed the characters she really didn't want to see...
It was two-thirty in the morning.
"Temari-san!" She whipped around at the not-so-hushed whisper that had suddenly accompanied the repetitive rhythm that had woke her in the first place. "Temari!"
The window...
Blood would be shed. She was sure of it. Who in their right mind would wake her with-
"Temari-san! Are you awake?" She was right next to the window now, trying to peer through the gap in the shutters. All she could see was darkness.
"Are you up, Temari?"
Stupid question-
"No." She said in reply, not bothering to mimic the completely unsubtle hiss that the idiot outside had adopted. "I'm sleeping."
"...You are?"
"Yes. In fact, I'm asleep right now." There was a pause, as the voice seemed to consider this new information. When the reply came, it was a little uncertain.
"Are you messing with me, Temari-san?" Temari rolled her eyes.
"Not at all. Now bugger off so I can rest up."
"But- but- Temari! We find ourselves in quite a predicament!" The voice dissolved into an urgent rush. "If you could just open the window then we could get back inside-"
So they can get back inside...? Suddenly, the voice seemed all too familiar. Oh, Kami, no... Temari leaned closer once more, peering through the gap in the shutters and...
Still, nothing. It was too dark.
Well... No other alternative, then... She gripped the bottom of the window pane, sliding it upwards and pushing on the shutters. They swung outwards, clicking into place on either side of the window and...
And Temari didn't miss the slight thump as a certain someone was smacked in the face by weathered wood and metal...
Serves him right for standing so close. Idiot. She allowed herself a moment of satisfaction, but still, the inconvenience wasn't easily forgotten. She leaned out a little, making a mental note to request a move to a floor which wasn't ground-level.
"Why don't you get lost and bother someone else at two o'clock in the morning y- wuh!"
'Wuh' being the general expression a person might use when confronted by a very, very naked Rock Lee.
"Temari! You're awake!" Said Rock Lee was now smiling happily at her, despite the smack in the face he had obviously just recieved as she had opened the window. He got up from his position sprawled on his back, (blissfully ignorant of the fact that she could see pretty much everything), shaking a fist in victory.
"Lee-" Temari started dangerously, one hand firmly over her eyes. She felt a little dizzy.
"YOSH! I knew my endeavors would eventually be fruitful!"
Please... Kami... End this madness...
"Did I not tell you, Gaara-kun?" At that, Temari's eyes were open again, the look of unrestrained horror on her face completely lost on Lee, who was still doing something of a victory-dance to celebrate his triumph. Ignoring him and his obnoxious nudity, a more pressing issue was brought to light. She could almost see it in her minds eye...
'KAZEKAGE CAUGHT NUDE IN SEARCH OF GREEN SPANDEX!'
And...
'SISTER OF KAZEKAGE IN NEED OF THERAPY!'
Said Kazekage had now turned up beside Lee, (who had finally stopped dancing to wipe away his tears of joy), his arms folded across his chest as he regarded his sister with a rather disgruntled expression.
"Temari?" He asked, seemingly unperturbed that he was lacking any clothing at all.
"Umm..." She was obviously doing her best not to look directly at either of them.
"Have you seen my clothes?"
"Wuh?"
"Have you seen my clothes?" He repeated, a little more deliberately. 'Disgruntled' was quickly degenerating into 'severely displeased'. Temari blinked.
"But Gaara! I thought we were looking for a way in?" Lee cried.
"I already found a way in." Gaara said simply. Temari looked in his general direction rather suspiciously, deciding it was better just to focus on the empty space over his left shoulder. Lee's eyes lit up as he followed Gaara's pointed gaze further along the building, just out of Temari's line of sight.
"Ah! A hole in the wall!"
A hole... What...?
"How very clever of you, Gaara-kun!" Konoha's Green Beast was giving her youngest brother a rather starry-eyed look, which generally meant that he was about to do something disgusting. Temari was briefly reminded of last week's incident with the shower. She had now taken to knocking on every door before she opened it.
Gaara shrugged apathetically. Lee stopped hugging him rather enthusiastically around the neck, as if something had just dawned on him. He looked a little dejected.
"But Gaara- I found Temari's window..."
"If you want to go in that way, that's fine."
"You won't come with me?"
"It took a lot of Chakra to smash through here. You know I don't have my gourd."
"It would have been too heavy to bring with you! I thought you needed to relax a little-" Temari, who had been in a rather comfortable numbed state for the duration of their little conversation, suddenly snapped to attention.
"You smashed through the wall?" She gasped, "Lee, you idiot! Why the hell didn't you stop him?" Lee looked like a thoroughly kicked puppy for approximately two seconds. Temari didn't have time to remedy the expression of would-be genius that followed, before he had hopped up and onto the window-ledge, gripping the frame and ducking slightly to peer in.
"I have a plan, Gaara!" He declared, "I can fix this whole situation! You take your preferred route and I shall meet you promptly! That way, both of our attempts will not have been in vain!" The redhead seemed to consider this, his head inclined slightly and his eyes narrowed. He scowled at the tanned behind that was pretty much wiggling in front of his face, before wandering off further down the wall. Temari started.
"Gaara- what-?" Lee ducked under the frame, his head and shoulders now inside the room. The blonde's eyes widened as she cottoned on to his intention, shaking her head rapidly. "Oh, no. No."
"But Temari-sa-"
"No! Out! Out!" He didn't seem to be willing to budge. She reached behind her, groping for her fan, which was resting beside her bed, as per usual...
To walk in on your sister poking your brother's boyfriend with her fan, as he tries to get in through her bedroom window stark naked, is a very unfortunate experience to have in the early hours of the morning.
"Hey Temari, is everything okay? I heard a n- NAKED!" There was a yelp and a scuffle as Kankuro backed rapidly out of the room, the slam of the door marking his hasty retreat.
"I don't even want to know what you were doing-" Temari hissed, still trying to make Lee lose his balance.
"Have mercy-"
"Get out!"
"Te-"
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
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Out in the corridor, as Kankuro made his escape back to his quarters, he suffered the final blow of running into his brother on his way to the stairs.
"Oh, uh... Hi... Gaara..."
Why is he-?
"I'm going to fetch Lee." Gaara said, as if that explained everything.
"Yeah, uh... That's nice..." Kankuro rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, "Just, uh... I'd be careful. I think Temari's finally cracked..." Gaara said nothing more, just gave him a suspicious glance and continued along to the source of the yelling. Kankuro shook his head, deciding to make sure his door was very much locked behind him before he tried to go back to sleep.
It was just a shame about the vast number of nasty mental images he seemed to have acquired during his venture.
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Fin. X3
Ally