So this story's been in my computer for quite a while, complete up to chapter three, and four is nearly complete. It's been on my list of things to submit, because I've developed a soft spot for Tidus and Sora as a couple. Poor Sora's a little OOC in this... not too much, though. Just goes to show you that even the happiest people get sad. D; It was hard to write Riku in this (who comes up in the second chapter) because he's not exactly a good guy. XD I kept thinking about which fangirls would chew my head off. Feedback plx, to tell me if I should even bother continuing this. It'll be more than four chapters, but probably less than seven. I won't be upset if I get more nays then yeas. Just don't nay me 'cause it's not your cup o' tea. D;
So I'll have something else to boast (?) about besides Of Fallen Angels and Porcelain Feathers, enjoy! ;D Title's kinda misleading...
Tidus and Sora had been best friends for a long time. Not forever, but pretty damn long anyway. So when Sora came to him, in tears and heartbroken and worse than he'd ever seen the brunette before, Tidus was shocked. And then he was pissed at whoever made his best friend so…un-Sora like.
Tidus stood in front of the door, gripping the handle tightly still. "H-hey, Tidus…" Sora smiled sadly through his tears. Even now, Sora was trying to act like it was all okay. Tidus' hand tightened on the knob, his knuckles now white. "Are you busy…? I just need to talk." At this, Tidus immediately stepped aside to let his friend in. "You can talk to me whenever, Sora. You know that…" Tidus tried his best to smile, he really did, but it seemed that the feature was only enabled when Sora himself was smiling. Even raising the corners of his mouth minutely took more effort than he would have liked. Sora turned to look at Tidus. He briefly gave thanks to whatever deity was up there; Sora's tears had stopped, but there were still fresh tear trails on his cheeks. What could have made his bright, sunny friend so…so like this?
"You…wanna go to the kitchen? Or…" At the brunette's suggestion, Tidus shook his head. "My room's fine." Sora looked a little uncomfortable at the suggestion, but nodded and started up the stairs. This especially was odd to Tidus; whenever they needed to talk about anything, his room was always the preferred spot to go to. Tidus's room, in simpler terms, was Sora's room. He briefly wondered, as he trekked up the stairs, if Riku was that close to Sora. He felt the slightest pang of…jealousy at the thought.
Once in Tidus' room, he realized the tense atmosphere much more in a smaller room. Tidus was…unsure how to handle people when they were like this; he was much better at just blurting his feelings out. He gave a semi-smile and sat on the bed, motioning Sora over. There was that look of nervous discomfort but Sora sat beside Tidus anyway, putting a lot of (unneeded, in Tidus' opinion) space between them. "So…what happened…?"
And Tidus immediately regretted asking when Sora let out a particularly loud sob and those tears came all over again, re-wetting the old tracks so that the white streaks became glistening trails once more. Way to go, Tidus! You couldn't ask something like, "Are you okay?" or "Nice weather out there, huh?" But Tidus knew the question was inevitable, and that if he didn't ask, then Sora would have gotten to it himself. Tidus would have waited silently all night if he had to, if it made his friend any better. That was what friends did.
But damn, did friends hurt so much when other friends cried, as though each tear that sliced through the air as it fell was also slicing through their hearts? "Sora…" Tidus tried, hands moving as if torn between hugging, touching Sora's shoulder lightly, and just staying out of the way.
"It's R-Riku…" Sora choked out, hand slightly over his mouth as if to muffle his sobs. Tidus, who had decided to get Sora a tissue, dropped the blue cardboard box suddenly. Sora's words repeated themselves in his head. It was…Riku? But they were best friends, as much as Tidus hated to admit (Tidus himself thought he deserved the title of Sora's best friend more than Riku.). What could Riku have done…? His anger rose. No, flared.
"He…we've…been dating. Secretly," Sora added at Tidus' lost look. Tidus wondered if Sora saw the hurt on his face, if he was showing it. Because, if he wasn't showing it, he was sure as hell feeling it full force. Did best friends hurt this way when they were told something like that…? Why did it hurt so much? Was it because that silver haired bastard had hurt his best friend, his joy? Yeah, that had to be it… But it just doesn't sit right with me…I shouldn't feel so jealous and…betrayed.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Tidus, but…I was scared. I didn't tell anyone."
"You could have come to me. I wouldn't have judged you. I could never do that…" Tidus replied, frowning. His voice sounded…different. "Or do you not trust me?" It sounded pleading and scared. But it only reflected his true feelings; was Sora losing faith in Tidus' devotion to their friendship? Were he and Sora…drifting apart? A sharp pain in his chest, his heart, told him what he already knew—he would be heartbroken, even a bit dead if that were to happen. Sora, in the end, was his main reason for even getting out of bed, going to school, doing schoolwork (when Sora made him)…his life was pretty much Sora. And he had nothing but a fading friendship to show for it. But it didn't matter, he would hold on to Sora for as long as he could.
Sora was silent for a long while after that, an upsetting, unsettling silence that nearly made Tidus pull at his hair. "I trust you, Tidus…" Sora spoke, voice small and cracking. "I trust you more than anyone, even more than…R-Riku." Sora nearly sobbed the name. "I might trust you too much." At this, Tidus was confused. Too much trust…? What could that mean?
"I rely on you so much…too much. And you're always there. Even when no one else is, even if it's not important. You…you once skipped blitzball practice, just to comfort me when I lost my dog. Remember? You got chewed out by the coach, and even had to run laps and do locker room clean up, right?" Sora looked away as he spoke. Tidus cursed; Sora wasn't supposed to know that. He hadn't mentioned anything to the brunette about it, though… "How did you…" Tidus began. "Wakka told me." Sora interrupted.
"I only do those things because I want to, Sora. You're my best friend, and I want to help you." Tidus smiled. It came just a little bit easier this time. He was happy that Sora appreciated Tidus' services, but even if the brunette didn't, Tidus knew he would comfort Sora any day.
They were silent for a long while once more. The silence was almost as bad as the last, but something made it less ominous. "We…had been going out for a while," Sora spoke suddenly, causing Tidus' head to snap to the other male. "And…I thought we were both in love. So…when he asked…I slept with him." Tidus nearly choked, but settled for a sharp squeak. Sora and…Riku?! Disgusted, yes, but more…hurt. Sad…heartbroken, even more so than before. Betrayal and Jealousy came back to say hi once more. Thoughts of, "How dare he touch my Sora in such a way!" and, "That should have been me he did it with!" flooded his mind, but he managed to keep a calm, neutral façade. "O-oh…? So…what happened?" He asked, false nonchalantness lacing his voice. "He…I don't know what happened. After we did it...he got distant. First, he stopped visiting. Then he didn't answer my calls. Then ignored me all together." Sora paused, taking a breath as if to calm himself. "I...asked him why he was being like this. He said that I already gave him what he wanted, and he gave me what I wanted, too. Apparently, he thought I was a whore." Sora gave a bitter smile.
Tidus, at the moment, was gaping widely. He couldn't believe it, didn't want to believe it. Riku thought Sora was a whore. Sora had…slept with Riku. And not Tidus. Sora loved Riku. And not Tidus.
He would murder Riku. There was no question, no doubts. "Please, Tidus…don't look so angry. It wasn't his fault." And Tidus' anger was pushed to the very edge.
"What the hell?! The guy treats you like a…prostitute, and you say it's not his fault! He ignores you after you…" Tidus swallowed, not able to even speak of the action. "And…you're still defending him?!" Sora flinched, making Tidus curse and look down guiltily. The last thing he wanted to do was snap at Sora, and he knew Sora didn't need him to. The brunette had probably been beating himself up terribly over it.
"I'm so stupid." Sora sobbed, burying his face in his hands. "You're right…I was a fool to even think he was seriously interested…no one could ever be interested in me…" Tidus frowned, reaching a hand out. He stopped, though, and pulled it back to him. And there it was, there was his friend's true demeanor. The confused, unsure boy that Tidus hadn't seen since grade school.
"Sora…you know that's not true." He tried. Sora smiled sadly at him, and the look in the brunette's eyes almost made Tidus clutch at his own heart in pain. Why…why did he have to fall in love with Riku? Why, when Tidus was so willing, so happy to take care of Sora? To love him, make him see how beautiful and wanted he was.
Tidus knew then what he would do as he watched Sora cry, crystalline liquid slipping through the creases his closed fingers made. He leaned over slowly, and grabbed Sora into a tight hug. Sora tensed in his arms. "T-Tidus…" He gasped. "Please…" Tidus interrupted in a breathy whisper. "Please let me…do this. I have to…it's my only purpose." He continued softly. Sora said nothing, instead nuzzling into Tidus' shirt. It felt so good to hold the boy like this; secure and loving. The brunette angel was so...beautiful. Delicate and porcelain and all his…for the moment.
"I…god, Tidus…what am I going to do?" He sobbed harder. "Shh…it's okay. Don't worry about that now." Tidus caught himself just before he pressed a kiss to Sora's forehead; thank goodness the boy's eyes were closed.
"You don't need him, Sora." Tidus spoke suddenly. Sora's eyes, by this time, had grown heavy and half-lidded. His sobs died down to slight sniffles and small hiccups. The boy was falling asleep against his chest, but this sentence startled him. "But Tidus… Who else would love me like that?" Sora's hands grabbed at Tidus' shirt, holding the fabric tightly. Tidus gulped. Could he…? He was putting this all on the line…would Sora even accept him after this?
"I would." He spoke softly. Sora gasped. His whole body stiffened and Tidus panicked. "You…you don't mean that, Tidus." Sora whispered, pulling away. Tidus tugged him back, holding him firmly in place. He wouldn't lose this chance, not yet. If he was going to throw everything away, he figured he might as well tell Sora everything now. "Yes, I do!" He shouted. "Tidus…" Sora started, but Tidus cut him off. "God, Sora…you don't know how long…I've felt this for you. I…don't even know myself. I know I love you. More than Riku does! Dammit, if you would just let me love you…!" Tidus was shaking now; he wondered if Sora could feel it. Spilling all of his emotions like this, ones he didn't even know he had…it was tough.
Sora was silent for a long, torturous while. Tidus couldn't take it anymore. "Will you please answer me?! Say something; anything! Tell me you're happy, or tell me you hate me and I'm shit, but don't just stand there!" He blurted. He regretted his words a little when Sora pulled away from the embrace, looking up at him…
Angrily?
"I…can't believe you would lie to me like this!" Sora went from muttering to full out shouting. "You know how much I like you! You know, dammit…" He sobbed, falling to his knees in defeat. Tidus was shocked; confused. What did Sora mean…? How much exactly did Sora like him?
"Sora…please, you have to believe me. I wouldn't lie to you, not like this. Does our friendship mean…nothing to you?" He asked, voice showing his hurt freely. "Tidus…no, of course it means something to me…it means the world, actually…" Sora began to struggle with his words.
"I…I can't love you. I want to, but I…" Sora bit his lip. "Wait, so…just what do you feel for me? Please don't lead me on like this." Tidus took Sora's hands in his own, pulling him to stand and holding the dainty hands tightly. From what Sora was saying, it sounded so much like what Tidus wanted to hear so badly…
"Tidus," Sora smiled sadly. "I love you. More than I thought I did Riku…but if I love you, you'll die."
Tidus was shocked. The shock of Sora's confession, coupled with the shock of being told that he would die from loving the brunette effectively left him looking like a dumb deer in the headlights. "Sora…what are you talking about?" He asked slowly, once his mouth worked again. Sora looked as though he was fighting with his words, then with a defeated sigh he laid his head on Tidus' chest. Upon instinct, Tidus' arms wrapped around the brunette's lithe body. "There's…more to the story." He whispered. Tidus raised an eyebrow.
"After Riku began ignoring me…I dunno…I just felt so lonely, and I couldn't tell you; I could never let you know that I had been reduced to…that. So…I…with…other people." Sora sighed, and Tidus felt an overwhelming sense of dread come over him as he realized what was to be filled in the blanks. "O-oh…" Was all Tidus could say. What else could he say? "It…wasn't the full thing…that was only Riku." Ouch. But at least Sora hadn't been deflowered by multiple people, at least not that way. "But why…who?"
"They…were friends of Riku's and I guess he told them I was good for something other than my looks. A while after we broke up, they came to me with the offer. I accepted." Then Sora shook his head. "They're overprotective…no, possessive. They already told me…what would happen if I tried to go to anyone about it, or if I wanted to be with anyone else." Tidus felt Sora's hands clutch at his shirt desperately. "Sora…" Tidus hugged the boy closer, giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead. "I don't care about them. They can't do anything to me, or you. I won't let them." Tidus assured, though he wasn't very sure himself. If they were friends of Riku's, they were trouble. Still…
Sora gasped, looking up at Tidus with big, innocent blue eyes. Those eyes were so beautiful; so blue… Tidus smiled; those eyes belonged to a boy just as innocent as his eyes looked, a boy that loved him. Sora loved Tidus. And that was all Tidus needed, fuck Riku and his friends.
"But, Tidus…" Sora was cut off by Tidus' finger on his lips. "Shh." He smiled. "I love you." And with that, Tidus removed his finger and kissed Sora on the lips.
It was amazing. That was the only word that Tidus could think of. Then again, he couldn't think much of anything coherent, now when Sora began to kiss him back in that shy yet skilled way of his. Riku didn't deserve this. Tidus himself may not have either, but Tidus wasn't about to give him up. When he felt Sora's tongue prod at his lips shyly, he pulled away with a grin. Sora was flushed and panting lightly, the cutest thing Tidus had ever seen.
"I think that we should take this slow. I…want to be serious. With you. A…serious relationship, I mean. So…yeah…" Oh, shit. Tidus cleared his throat. This was one of the things that Tidus was completely horrible at; admitting his feelings. He began to choke up at the clueless expression Sora was giving him, but soon the brunette smiled. "Thank you, Tidus. You don't know how much it means to me to hear that." Sora said, and Tidus wouldn't have believed the shake Sora's voice took on if he hadn't seen small tears leaking through the brunette's eyes.
"Sora…" Tidus began, but stopped himself. He himself was on the verge of tears; how was he supposed to comfort Sora? But Sora only shook his head, still smiling, and laid his head back on Tidus' chest. "Don't talk. I just…want to dream a little more." At this, Tidus couldn't help but smile, slowly bringing Sora down to the bed with him. "I'll make it so you don't have to dream anymore." He promised, to himself and to Sora. He wanted to—no, he would be the one to take Sora's pain away, no matter what. He wrapped the boy up in his arms, kicking his and, somehow, Sora's shoes off with little effort. The thud they made on the floor was quieter than a pin dropping in comparison to the soft lullaby of Sora's breathing.
Everything felt perfect. Even though the light was on and he usually never slept with it on, and even though the position he was in made his neck cramp up, he felt comfortable. More than he ever had. And he felt complete.