(This chapter is the first 16 parts of the story that were lost when Elfwood went down but which have now been rescued! The group story writing can now be found at The Buffy RP Stories Board and you can join in if you'd like. It is meant to be a S/B fic, so keep that in mind if you write a part for it. You can also start a new group story there.)
Part 1, by Lanceluver2001
Ok, this is the thread I told some of the peeps at Jamesmarsters.com I would create, so here ya go! This is post gift, so if u haven't seen season 5, u might not want to read/participate in this. IT's open to all, and is S/B.
The characters are copyright to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy productions (Grr, Argg!), etc. Now let the fun begin!
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'Dont' know how you met me, don't know why But you can't turn your back and say goodbye. All you know is when I'm wiht you, I make you free And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea...'
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Spike flung another empty beer bottle across the floor of his crypt. It had been a week since that terrible night when Buffy had died, sacrificing herself for the world. He sighed.
That had been the last beer in his crypt and the pain was still there. He knew he had to get her back, but how he didn't know how.
His failings of protecting Dawn haunted him. They were in his dreams, his thoughts, everywhere. Buffy was dead because of him.
A soft knock came at the door...
Part 2, by Miss Kitty
He ignored it. Wasn't ready to face anyone, they had all let him be so far, left him alone to wallow in his despair because they were too busy trying to deal with their own. The funeral had been in the daytime but close to his own crypt so he had watched from the shadows, he reckoned that was probably the witches idea, she was the only one who would have thought of it, thought of him.
He knew what that knock meant though, had been waiting for it even. They had come some short way out of grief, through denial and despair and reached anger. Now he would be faced with the truth, that the woman who had become his sole anchor to the world was gone because of his inadequacies, and the only other people who knew the pain he felt would rightly hold him reponsible.
Ignoring it didn't work, the knocking carried on, but he refused to acknowledge it. He simply waited for them to leave, and was merely rewarded by the door creaking open to reveal Dawn standing in front of him, an empty look in her eyes and a plain white envelope in her hands....
Part 3, by Snakes
Dawn walked towards where Spike sat on the floor, but her eyes looked everywhere but at him. He turned his own eyes away, hurt that she couldn't even bring herself to look at him. He didn't say anything; just braced himself for the hateful words that he knew were coming. Several minutes passed without her speaking. He wished she would just get it over with and leave. Why did she have to drag this out?
Finally, Dawn sat down on the floor facing him. "Spike", she said quietly, staring at the floor, "I'm so sorry. I know how much she meant to you, and it's my fault. It was supposed to be me, should have been me..." Her throat tightened, and she found it impossible to continue speaking. Spike was stunned. "Dawn, it's not your fault. How can you even say that? If I'd protected you like I promised Buffy I would, neither of you would be dead." The two finally looked each other in the eye, and an unspoken understanding passed between them. It was a small bit of comfort to each of them that at least one person didn't blame them.
They sat silently for a few minutes, then Spike noticed the envelope Dawn held in her hand. Dawn saw his eyes spot the envelope, and she got a bit embarassed. "I've been carrying this everywhere for the last week, so if I ever get up the nerve to open it, I can do it right away before I change my mind." she explained. "What is it?" Spike asked. "Buffy left me a note. I think she knew she wasn't going to make it. And believed that I was." She started to choke up again but managed to force the rest of the words out. "I'm afraid to read the note. Maybe it says pretty much what she told me before... she..." Dawn couldn't complete that thought. "But what if she really did blame me for everything? What if she hated me for bringing this on her and her friends and even the world? I'm not sure I want to know what else she meant to tell me."
Part 4, by Marguerite
"Listen niblet" Spike spoke barely in a whisper "Buffy didn't blame you. She would never blame you. This was her choice. Maybe if you read the note she left, you'll understand better." "I can't do it. I don't even want to see her hand writing. Everything's just been too much... I'm so scared Spike" Dawn leaned forward into Spike, hoping for a comforting hug. Spike let her fall into his chest and looked down at her. He tentatively began to stroke her hair, not sure what to do next. He pulled away from the hug and placed a small kiss on her forehead, mumbling underneath his breath "I miss her too".
"If you want I can read the note to you? I mean.. if you want? It might be.. easier" Spike looked at the ground as he spoke unsure if the offer would offend.
Dawn thought about the offer for a moment and without a word, handed him the envelope. With a dramatic deep breath, Spike opened the envelope and began to read, at first to himself and then finally out loud with a unsure voice:
"Dear Dawn,
I don't have much time to write everything that I need to tell you so I hope you understand that I wish I could write more... but I can't. First of all, never forget that I loved you. Never doubt that you really are my sister. Never feel alone. You will never be alone. The gang will always take care of you and be your family. Spike even promised me tonight that he will protect you 'till the end of time and I know that he means it. You've gone through a lot in the last few months and you've been so strong. So much stronger then I've been. I know that you will go on and will live because you have something to live for. Now please do me one last favour. It's a big one. Please Dawn, destroy this note and go and live. My death... your life... is my gift to you. Don't waste it."
Part 5, by Sandra L
A few moments passed. Spike silently reread the letter while Dawn stared at the floor, absorbing this confirmation of Buffy's last words to her.
Dawn looked up to find Spike watching her with what appeared to be genuine concern. He immediately looked away, folded the letter, and handed it back to her. "Well," he said, a shade too brusquely, "that didn't sound like blame to me. All's well then, right Nibblet?"
In response, Dawn began to cry. "Yeah, all's well…"
Bloody hell.
"Listen, for what it's worth, Buffy was right. I meant what I said about looking after you. If there's anything you need…"
"It's just…the 'living' part. I don't know what's going to happen now." She drew an unsteady breath and continued, "They said I might have to go live with a foster family somewhere, and…and I don't think I could stand that. Spike, you and the gang are all I've got now. You're the only ones who understand… you especially."
Spike shifted uncomfortably, then realized what she was hinting at and stared at her in astonishment. It couldn't possibly work …could it?
Part 6, by Snakes
(Credit to Estepheia for giving me part of the plot idea)
Spike looked uncomfortably at Dawn. "Niblet, we'll figure something out. I really don't want to see you get sent away to foster care either. I could just see the foster parents' expressions when I show up to explain that I'm your protector!" He laughed a bit nervously. Dawn hadn't even peeked at the note, fortunately, just listened to him read it. Now, he just had to get her to follow the "destroy this note" instructions without reading it over herself. He'd made that part up. The note actually gave the name and address of someone Buffy knew who could make up fake papers proving Giles to be a relative, in order to keep Dawn from being sent to live with someone she didn't even know. Spike remembered how willing Giles had been to kill Dawn if necessary, so he couldn't bring himself to let her make Giles her guardian.
"So Little Bit, I guess you should destroy that letter. Kind of a weird request, but then Buffy always was a bit weird." Dawn looked up at him. "You're right, that is strange. I wonder why she wants it destroyed." She pulled the note back out, and opened it up to read it. Spike tried to stop her, "Come on, Buffy didn't want you to dwell on this, that's probably why she wanted you to get rid of it."
"Just let me read it one last time, Spike, then I'll destroy it." "Dawn!" Now she looked at Spike a bit suspiciously. He really didn't want her to read the letter. Had it really said something bad that he didn't want to hurt her? She stepped away so he wouldn't grab the note and read it. Then she looked back at Spike with hurt in her eyes. "You said you didn't want me to go to foster care! You lied! You just want to be rid of me like everybody else!" She started to cry again.
"No, Dawn!", he stepped toward her and awkwardly pulled her into a hug. "Dawn, I just don't want you to go live with Giles either. What you were sort of hinting at earlier, I'd kind of been thinking the same thing, so", he was rather embarassed, "When I read that in the note, well, I'm going to go see that guy. Maybe he can make up the necessary papers...", now he felt totally stupid. Certainly it made more sense for her to go with Giles. He made himself finish what he wanted to say, and just hoped Dawn wouldn't laugh. "papers to prove that I'm your... um... Uncle William."
Part 7, by Estepheia
But of course she laughed. "Uncle William? As in 'hi folks this is my undead Uncle Willy'?" And Spike realised that he was able to put up with considerable embarassment, just to see Dawn happy, even if only briefly. It was not fair for one so young to experience the loss of two loved ones in such a short time.
"What's so funny 'bout that, then?" Spike raised an eyebrow with faked indignation.
"Dunno..." Dawn giggled. "Of all the men on this planet, you are probably the least uncle-ish. Uncles are like, oooold... you know. And boring."
"I am old, and I can try to be boring - for about five minutes."
Spike grinned. "Uh, make that five seconds...."
He was rewarded with another giggle.
But he knew that all that banter was just a means of putting off the inevitable: the serious and painful discussion on the subject of her future.
For the Vampire knew, if Giles really decided to become Dawn's legal guardian the librarian would drag the Councel of Watchers into the whole affair. And the Council - awesome wielders of red tape - would tie potential foster uncle Spike into a neat little bundle, perhaps with a stake thrown in for good measure....
But for now it was just fun to fantasize and paint "Uncle Willy" in the most garish colors possible.
Part 8, by Marguerite
Spike and Dawn left to go find Giles. If this was going to work, they would need his "buy in". Their plan was too let Giles know about the note (editing Spike for Giles as the requested guardian) and that they had destroyed it on Buffy's request.
*A little white lie never hurt anyone - even if it is about a dying wish* the vamp and teenager both thought in their heads as they walked.
After a few moments Dawn turned to Spike and asked with a big grin "So... What about sleepovers?"
"What are sleepovers?"
"I get to invite a bunch a friends over to sleep for a night and we talk and do each others hair...you know like in Grease"
Spike shook his head... *what am I getting myself into*
Part 9, by Miss Kitty
Sleepovers, homework, boys...was he vampire enough for the job? Spike shook his head as they made their way to the Magic Box. He just didn't know if it was fair on Dawn to take responsibility for her, he had let Buffy down and couldn't bear it if he let her down too. He stopped short about a block from the shop with a lump in his throat, ready to tell her that she'd be better off living with Giles, he had so much more to give her.
"Hang on a sec, I think..." He didn't know how to say it, he wanted so desperately to take her in and keep her safe, make her smile and feel as though she had someone who would always put her first, no matter what, but what was best for this gutsy kid who'd been through so much was more important than what he wanted.
"What is is it? Don't you want to..." One look down into those innocent yet so old eyes told him everything he needed to know. He could see that this meant so much to her, she was close to Giles but he had always been Buffy's mentor, father-figure and friend. The two of them had this strange, yet undeniable bond in a way he was everything to Dawn that Giles had been to Buffy and he swore to himself that from this moment on any pain caused to his charge would be returned a thousand-fold. She would never come to harm, never!
"Nothing pet, it's getting cold, didn't want you to catch a chill that's all." As he took his duster off and wrapped it around her petite frame he knew that she felt the same way as he did. They only had each other to take care of now, they were kin.
Part 10, by Estepheia
Predictably, Giles was all against the idea of Spike formally and legally assuming responsibilty for Dawn, even though he voiced his reservations rather obliquely. "Are you quite ...ah certain, that this is what Buffy ....requested ..." he mumbled, while distractedly polishing his glasses. „And that it was really Buffy who wrote that letter?" Spike picked up the doubt in Giles' voice even if Dawn didn't. They were presently sitting in Giles's living room after removing the obligatory piles of books from the available chairs.
Dawn was happily eating a second helping of chocolate chip ice cream (which they had picked up on their way), while the two men concentrated less on their food and more on each other. The Vampire remembered who had had the guts, common sense and determination to kill helpless Ben on that fateful day. He did not need to be reminded that underneath the librarian's absentminded-professor-act there lurked another personality of much darker hue. *And don't I know what it's like to be a wolf in sheep's clothing* he thought with an inward smile. He put on what he called his „honest face" and looked at the other man without flinching.
„That night - before we took on Glory - Buffy, I mean the Slayer, she invited me back in, you see. And there and then I promised to her that I would protect Dawn, no matter what. Until the end of time if necessary. I meant what I said and she knew it. I think she wrote that letter just afterwards, while I was sorting through her trunkful of assorted weapons." *Well there was so much truth in this, it had to ring true, even to the distrustful ears of the ex-and-reinstated-watcher.*
Giles watched Dawn's enthusiastic face and sighed resignedly.
„Well, then. If that is what she wanted.... obviously I am not goint to deny her .... however...." The librarian looked at the vampire sharply. „ I am quite convinced, that ....Buffy ... wouldn't mind some ... ah ....additional input."
It obviously pained Giles to speak Buffy's name, Spike noticed. *Well, there's something we have in common....*
„So...." the Giles continued „why don't we talk this over with Willow and the others?"
Part 11, by Snakes
Before the gang arrived, Giles asked Dawn to go out to a movie while the group talked. "You're too enthusiastic about the idea of staying with Spike. I don't want them making a decision based solely on cheering you up and not necessarily on your best interests." Dawn wasn't happy about it, but hesitantly agreed to leave for a while. "It'll be ok", Spike told her. He hoped he wasn't lying.
Once everyone was together, Giles explained the situation, and asked for better options. "Xander, Anya, you're a fairly stable couple, could you take Dawn?" Xander answered very quickly, "Love Dawn. NOT ready to deal with raising a teenager!" Anya agreed with Xander. Willow pointed out that both her and Tara were still in school. "Wouldn't you make the most sense Giles?" asked Willow. Giles actually felt much the way Xander did, but only said, "I think Buffy avoided that choice on purpose." In the end, although they all found it a dubious solution, Spike seemed the unanimous choice.
When Dawn returned, Giles and Spike delivered the news, Giles somewhat reluctantly. He'd really hoped Xander and Anya would agree to take on the responsibility. Dawn was quite happy. Giles looked at her sternly and reminded her that there was more to it than convincing the scoobies. They had to convince the social services people. "For one thing, just exactly how are you going to explain why your mother's younger brother is British?!" Spike looked at Giles smugly, "Being much younger, I was sent to live with relatives in England after mum died." He shook his head at Giles, "Did you really think that Dawn and I haven't even been thinking about this? We've been working on our story. We'll have it all figured out in time."
Giles sighed. Since he'd come up with no better option, he supposed he'd better support what they were trying to do, to try to keep Dawn from being sent to live with strangers. He shook his head, then walked over to his ancient typewriter, sat down, put in a sheet of paper, and started typing. Spike and Dawn just stared at him quizzically. Finally, Giles pulled the paper out of the typewriter and handed it to Spike. Spike, took it. "What's this?" "Even if you can get those papers showing you to be her uncle, they won't turn her over to just anyone, related or not. They'll want proof that you can financially support your charge." Giles said. "That's a reference from your 'employer'." Spike looked at the letter typed on 'Magic Box' letterhead. He stared up at Giles surprised. "Thank you", he said very sincerely.
"Final problem", said Giles. "No one in their right mind is going to award custody to that!", he said gesturing emphatically at Spike. He now sounded totally resigned, if somewhat disgusted, as he said, "If you actually get those papers you need, looks like I'll be taking Spike shopping."
Part 12, by Lanceluver2001
"Great. The stuffed shirt is takin' me bloody shopping. What fun." Spike muttered. Giles chose to ignore him and turned to Dawn. "It's getting late and you have school tomorrow." he said.
"Aw, c'mon!"
"Dawn..."
"Fine." she sighed and headed upstairs.
Giles took off his glasses and began polishing them. "You do understand that there might be a few more...complications."
Part 13, by Marguerite
"Spike even if you succeed to get full custody of Dawn, there are things that will occur that you haven't thought of. The gang will help out like always but she is not their responsibility. If you go through with this you will not only be impacting your life, but hers as well. She will never be able to have a parent join her on a field trip or watch her play soccer or pick her up from school when she's sick or has been called into the principle's office. There will come a time when she may resent what you fought for here."
Spike stared at the watcher in silence. He was fine to give up things in his unlife to help Dawn, but Giles was now finally getting through that his choice may be more selfish then selfless.
Seeing the understanding in Spike's eyes, Giles decided that there was only one way to give Dawn what she needed... a compromise."I have a suggestion that may help, if you are willing to listen"
"Go on" Spike shifted nervously and lit a cigarette.
"You could get custody of Dawn, but let me keep an important roll in her life. You and Dawn can move in with me and the two of us can raise her... together. You will not need to pay rent as long as you are willing to help out with the Magic Box."
Giles and Spike stared at each other with hate. Were they willing to do this for Dawn?
Part 14, by Demon
Spike started to growl, but since Giles was right he kept it to himself and just said "Well, we tolerated each other as roomates before and survived. And it's for Dawn. Let me tell her though, she's been counting on me to do this."
Spike explained it to Dawn. She would rather have just lived with Spike, but she understood too and rent was now one less worry too. She even offered to help Spike with his work at the magic box. Now could they manage to fool the authorities into making Spike her legal guardien?
Part 15, by Estepheia
For some people the word shopping heralded amusement galore, for others it spelt T-O-R-T-U-R-E.
"You don't really need me to come along, do you? I can give you some cash right here…. I'm quite certain you can pick something sufficiently ….ah…. respectable….." The librarian actually did not sound certain at all. Suddenly inspiration struck. "Willow! You could take Willow, instead." The librarian was vigorously polishing his glasses while desperately trying to come up with an excuse not to go.
Spike gave himself a moment to relish the pained look on Giles' face, before he replied: "You've got to be kiddin', mate." (Giles hated being called that). "Not if you don't want me to wear strange tights and horrible flowery patterns. Mind you, she might want to put me in tweed. Now that would be a sight for sore eyes….."
Did Rupert Giles just shudder? Spike grinned. He hadn't even started yet.
"And…." He pointed out, while picking up Giles' car-keyes. "I can't look at myself in the mirror, remember, so I can't go on me own. I'll drive."
"Over my dead body!"
"I'd oblige you, but I'd need a bit of brain surgery first." Spike put on a leer that hovered somewhere between obnoxious and suggestive.
Giles looked disgusted.
"My keys, please."
"Here you are, Rupert." With a courteous bow Spike dropped them into his hand. "And don't forget your credit card!"
***
Spike liked shopping malls. A lot of artificial light, plenty of ways to spend one's ill-gotten gains. The only drawback was the abundance of mirrors. Particularly in shops that sold clothes.
For the friendly young salesgirl Spike hat concocted a story which he himself would have described as "pure and unadulterated horseshit", involving a lot of bla bla on how mirror images never quite looked right, because of being, well, the wrong way round, you know. He worked shamelessly on the universal prejudice, that all Englishmen were basically eccentric twits. As a result he was allowed to stay (and change) in a corner of the shop, that was devoid of all mirrors.
Giles was positively oozing embarrassment out of all pores. He stayed as far away as possible from Spike and only joined the conversation, when the vampire explicitly asked for his advice on an item of clothing.
"He's a bit shy," Spike told the shop girl in a confidential whisper. "He'd like me to smarten up for his coming-out-party."
The salesgirl smiled, as if on the verge of saying something like "how cute", but settled for a cheerful "congratulations" instead. She picked up another jacket. "How about this one? " It had a price tag that would make Giles reel with shock.
"Yeah, that's nice!" Spike agreed. And so it was. Expensive fabric, understated elegance. A subdued dark grey that was just subtly undermined by almost invisible threads of dark purple. The silk lining was a dark purple, too.
After 120 years of unlife (and about 30 years of looking like a punk) Spike's disgust at the cuffs-and-collars-crowd (and their trappings) had diluted somewhat. Hell, his bad ass reputation was down the drain, anyway. So what the heck. Yes. He really did like that jacket. He tried it on.
The salesgirl looked him over appreciatively (perhaps with a hint of regret at his supposed choice of sexual preference).
"What do you think, Rupert?"
Giles seemed speechless. He just blinked repeatedly.
"Pretty Women, walking down the street….pretty woman….." Spike hummed infuriatingly, while piling up more and more clothes to buy. A few shirts in grey and purple, two ties (with patterns that looked a bit like an English carpet or sofa cushion on their own but which actually looked great with the jacket) socks, boxer shorts (just for the embarrassment value: "Rupert, do you think I should have some underwear, too, for a change?"), a fine leather belt, two pairs of pants, a vest and a pair of really really expensive shoes. Spike hadn't felt so positively evil in a long time. All these goodies should make a nice dent in the librarian's wallet. Serves him right, too, Spike thought. Being a watcher was a bit like living on vampire bounties. After all, the Council of Watchers did pay him a salary, didn't they? Giles visibly winced when presented with the total, but managed to sign his name on the dotted line without protest.
Spike grinned, but he was not finished with the librarian, not yet. Today all those derogatory remarks, all those hours of being chained up in Giles's bathtub would be avenged. There was a sufficiently large audience around, some staff and a few other customers. Time to add insult to injury. "Thank you Rupert" he exclaimed, and then he gave the librarian a BIG hug and a HOT kiss. The watcher was so utterly stunned, he didn't even resist. And with his best bashful smile Spike added. "Now I 'm all dressed to kill!"
Part 16, by Snakes
It was time to meet with the social services people. They'd already submitted all the paperwork and gone over their story, it seemed like a hundred times, to make sure they didn't contradict each other. They were fortunate to have been able to arrange an evening meeting, as that was not usually done.
Spike went to pick up Dawn. She immediately started giggling. "Just WHAT is so funny?" "I'm just not used to seeing you dressed like that. You remind me of... Giles!" "Hey! You take that back! We could still arrange for you to live with him!" Dawn was afraid she'd really made him angry, but she saw the glint in his eye and the slight smirk and realized he was teasing her. "Well, ok, not like Giles. You just look so respectable", she teased. "You take THAT back too!" She giggled and he smiled at her. "Ok Niblet, let's go".
They'd been at the social services office for hours. It seemed liked they'd answered every possible question and jumped through every possible hoop. Dawn was now waiting out in the hall. The lady at the desk looked at 'William'. "It says here that you and the young lady would be renting rooms from one Rupert Giles. What is the relationship between you and Mr. Giles?" They hadn't planned for that question! "Uh, he's an old friend of the family, of Dawn's mother, and also my employer." Ok, that was pretty close to the truth. "I thought it was best for there to be another adult around, who could help watch her when I can't be there."
The lady nodded. "Well, we agree that it's best if two adults are helping raise her, but we feel it's important for a girl to have a female role model around. We'd like to place her with a married couple, preferably with experience with children. I'm sorry, but foster care is in her best interest, and we'll be sending her as soon as possible. Do you want to tell her, or do you want me to do it?"
Spike's heart would have skipped a beat, if it beat at all. They'd lost! Dawn would be sent away! No! He was not going to let that happen. "No, you are going to sign whatever papers are necessary to give me custody!" The lady looked at him incredulously. "Just why would I do that? I've already explained to you, we've decided on foster care." Spike revealed his vampire face. "Because if you don't do it, I'm going to kill you!"
The social services lady was terrified. What the hell are you?" Spike got right up in her face. "Your worst nightmare unless you give me custody! And if you get anyone else to prevent giving me custody, I will come after YOU!"
She didn't know what to do. She couldn't send a little girl with this monster, but she was more afraid for her own life! It was just one little girl out of the many children who came through here. "Ok! Whatever you want! Just don't hurt me! I need to rewrite my recommendation..." "You do that", growled Spike, not letting his vampire face drop. It made Spike rather happy that, although the scoobies were not the least bit afraid of him, your average human still was.
By the time he and Dawn left, it was official. He was her legal guardian. They headed over to Giles place to deliver the news. Giles looked rather surprised. "They actually believed everything? They didn't find any problems with making you her guardian?" Spike looked sheepish. "Not exactly." "What do you mean, not exactly?" Spike slipped into vamp face again. "If you don't sign the papers, I'm gonna kill you!", he repeated. Giles and Dawn both stared at him. "You didn't?" "I did." Giles responded angrily, "You could have ruined everything!" Spike responded even more angrily, "It was already ruined. They had already decided to send her to foster care. I had to try. I had nothing left to lose!"