Coming Home
Written by: Snow Illusion
Summary: After the defeat of Voldemort, Harry knows what Ginny expects of him…he just isn't sure if he's willing to give it. [OneShot. Harry/Luna. Post DH.
A/N: Yes. Another bittersweet Harry/Luna. I can't believe I just keep pumping 'em out. Hope you enjoy.
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Ginny grunted in her sleep. Harry's eyes bugged open in the inky darkness, still eerily green although no light dare enter the room. His fingers automatically flew to touch the outline of his scar as if the pain of it had awoken him, but alas, the scar had not even twinged in the last twenty four hours. In fact, it hadn't felt really of anything…usually Harry felt it like he was carrying the weight of the world on his forehead, but now it was oddly empty.
Ginny snored again and Harry was sure she was truly asleep. He rolled back the covers and flipped his legs over the side. Unruly midnight hair fell in his eyes as he brushed sleep from them and he stood to his feet. It was only him and Ginny in the room because now…well…now that Voldemort was defeated, there was absolutely nothing holding them back from having the most perfect and loving relationship the wizarding world had ever known. Well, nothing to the naked eye, that is.
He dressed as silently as possible. He had to get out of here. He was suffocating. It was if all the flames of the Weasley's hair had suddenly spit to life and lit the house on fire. He had to get out.
He groped through a dresser next to the bed and sighed when he felt the silky material touch his skin.
Just one last time… he thought to himself as he flung the invisibility cloak over his shoulders. He knew he was covered as he finally stepped outside the confines of the Weasley household.
Grass crunched serenely under his sneakers as his mind wandered over the past day. The Elder Wand had been snapped in two and buried in a place in which the secret-keeper was Harry himself. He would keep the location secret until the day he died. The resurrection stone was cracked and also locked away. Harry was unsure where exactly it was. They had all agreed it was best if there was no one who knew where each deathly hallow was.
And the invisibility cloak, which had been passed down from generations in Harry's family, was voted to be kept in Harry's favor. What damage could it possibly do?
Except ruin a family…even if it's one that hasn't quite been formed yet…
Harry groaned and fell upon his knees, immediately feeling his pants soak with grass stains. He didn't care though. Twenty four hours ago he would've given everything up to be with Ginny, absolutely everything. And now, it didn't seem to be enough. Everything felt hollow. He felt he had no more destiny. He was the Boy Who Lived, wasn't he? His goal in life was to defeat Voldemort. And now that he had…he felt like there was nothing left. He had never lived a life in which Voldemort was not a factor. He didn't know how to. Now that he and Ginny's relationship was no longer "forbidden" or put on hold for her safety, there was nothing left to intrigue him. It was just him and Ginny.
He knew what the Weasley's wanted. Ron and Hermione had finally admitted their feelings for each other and Mrs. Weasley craved for the day she planned their wedding as well. The only thing that would be more perfect is if Harry joined this happy clan as well. They would be one big happy weasley family.
His stomach twisted and he retched.
It was all too much pressure. He had just defeated the most powerful evil wizard any of their lifetime's had seen and now he was being ushered into serious relationships, parenting, careers. He hadn't even finished his final year of Hogwarts. He wasn't even 18 and he was already the Godfather of Teddy, who was now parentless like himself! Jesus, how did he get himself in this mess?
He wiped the back of his mouth with his sleeve and fell backwards only to be poked by spiky green needles. He took deep breaths and found his eyes traveling to the heavens, where thousands of twinkling stars littered the endless multitude of space. How he wish he could fly in the sky forever…
"Hello there."
He was vaguely aware of another presence. She lied down next to him.
"Nice night, isn't it?"
He gulped and nodded.
She smiled dreamily and intertwined his fingers with hers. He did nothing to stop her.
They were silent for maybe an hour or so before Harry finally relieved himself of his position and sat upright, hugging his knees to his chest. Luna remained on her back.
"What are you going to do now?" he asked in a slight whisper, almost as if he had said nothing at all. "Is Hogwarts still open? Are you going to finish your education?"
"Harry, you think too much," she interrupted, giggling slightly at a butterfly who had decided to take residence on her nose. It's wings beat slowly once or twice, reflecting amber orange and ebony patterns. It went as quickly as it came.
"I'm going to travel the world," she admitted, brushing her blonde hair out of her eyes. "Daddy wants to go on some more adventures, see some more creatures. But I don't think I'll take him along."
She sat upright as well and for the first time that night, Harry locked eyes with her. Her shiny cerulean orbs pierced inside his emerald suns as easily as a sword into a soft belly. He began to feel everything he usually felt when he stared at her – comfort, pity, longing, the urge to laugh and cry at the same time. And for quite a while, love.
"Will you be alright without your father?" he asked sincerely, fingering some of her soft blond tendrils.
She nodded fervently. "I'll be fine." She sounded almost on the edge of a laugh. Harry was always surprised at how her tone's differed from the current situation.
He dropped his eyes then. He couldn't bear to look at her any longer.
Luna smiled and placed her arms behind her. She leaned back and closed her eyes, as if she was soaking up the nighttime. She took a deep breath and released it in a whistle. Harry quirked an eyebrow.
"Just purifying the air around me," she answered for him, without even popping open an always surprised eye. Harry couldn't force the smile down this time.
Her eyelashes finally fluttered and locked on the stars as well.
"Are you going to marry her?"
The question stung them both and Harry felt pure physical pain.
"I…I don't know."
The answer felt even worse.
Luna was still smiling and Harry was now growing a little angry. Couldn't she show a little sadness that Harry had just proclaimed they couldn't be together?
"Luna…" Harry trailed off, but Luna shook her head. Harry trudged on. "You know how I feel about you. But…there are certain expectations I have to live up to. It's not that I don't want to be with you. But, for as long as I could remember, Ron and his family have been with me, through and through. And now I have a chance to become a part of that family, really a part of, and not be just a burden. They are my heart and soul Luna."
Luna's smile remained exactly where it was. She started to hum to herself.
"Luna, are you listening to me?" Harry asked, his voice rising slightly with aggravation.
"Well I am right here," she replied, still humming.
Harry was positively fuming now. Luna seemed to catch on.
"Harry," Luna said softly, taking his hand in hers. Harry's anger seemed to melt away at the sound of her melodic voice. "Harry, Harry," she repeated while clicking her tongue as if punishing a naughty child. "You want lots of things. You want a wife. You want children. And you want her. I don't think I'm ready for any of those right now. I may not ever be. And I'm definitely not Ginny."
Tears stung at the corner of Harry's eyes at the absolute righteousness of Luna's speech.
His mouth opened to say more but it was Luna's time to leave. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. Harry pressed down on the spot hard with two fingers, hoping against might that if he wished hard enough, the feeling of her lips would stay forever.
He swallowed the lump in throat down and gazed from side to side. To his left was the jagged and vertical dark home that housed Luna Lovegood. To his right lay the crooked and familiar sight of the Weasley household. And there lay Harry, stuck somewhere between the two, as he may always be.
He crawled back into bed sometime later and held Ginny close to him. He suddenly wished, for maybe the last time in his life, that the color of hair was he was burrowing deep into was blonde.