Title: Firegate: The Big Damn Circle
Authors: Hah and Mer
Genre: General, Action/Adventure, Parody, Crossover, Romance
Warnings: Some coarse language, sexual situations, and some shirtlessness. We promise. Eventually.
Season/Spoilers: SGA: Up to Runner, season two; Firefly: all
Summary: The crew of Serenity finds itself in Atlantis. Wacky hijinx ensue.
Disclaimer: We don't own either show. If we did, Firefly would still be on the air, and more of this kind of stuff would be happening. We're just borrowing the characters for a bit.

Firegate: The Big Damn Circle

By Hah and Mer

- Prologue -

Alarms sounded throughout the Serenity. Captain Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds broke from one of his favorite activities, annoying the ship's Companion, and raced to the bridge where Wash was frantically adjusting buttons and levers, as if doing so would somehow change the gravity of their situation.

(on the bridge)

"We're surrounded by Alliance troops, Captain," the firefly's pilot reported.

"Can you shake 'em?"

"Well, normally, I would say yes, but it seems that we've become quite famous around these parts, and they've sent us a whole welcoming party."

"O, zhe zhen shi ge kuaile de jinzhan," Mal muttered as he reached for the intercom to order his crew to meet him in the cargo bay.

(in the cargo bay)

"What's up, Captain?" Kaylee Frye, the ship's ever cheerful mechanic tilted her head and subtly edged towards the ship's doctor and resident Alliance fugitive Simon Tam.

"We have ourselves a bit of a situation. Dr. Tam and his sister have attracted the attention of a rather sizeable contingency of Alliance vessels. 'Pears we may have just come to the end of our lucky streak, such as it was. Anyone have any 'deas?"

Jayne Cobb, the "muscle" of the Serenity, started to speak, but his voice trailed off as the full team's attention moved to young River Tam, the doctor's sister and the center of the Alliance's search.

"No, the time is all wrong, I tell you!" River said to no one in particular as she headed toward the engine room. "The time is wrong. Must fix the time."

"Meimei, stop," her brother tried to hold her back, but she shrugged him off and moved purposefully away from him.

"Wo de ma, Doctor! What's your feng le sister doing now?" Jayne inquired in his usual tactful manner.

Simon turned to Jayne with a half-desperate, half "how the heck am I supposed to know?" look, as he started after her, "I don't know. Her medication hasn't been working lately. We've been trying to perfect the dosage, but..."

"Cut with the jabbering, and go get your gorram sister!" Mal commanded, but it was too late. River had disappeared into the engine room and blocked off the entrance.

"Ta shi suoyou diyu de biaozi de ma! This is JUST what I DON'T need right now!" Mal exclaimed rubbing his temples with the forefinger and thumb of his right hand.

Kaylee rushed to her engine room – the clanking and crashing sounding to her like a bunch of gorram spacemonkeys. She hadn't heard this much noise in the engine room since, well, since the first day she had met her precious Serenity. Her mind briefly drifted back to that day when she had found herself on her back…Back! She had to get back into the engine room! Right! Thankfully, she knew the alternate routes and quickly made her way to the other door, and when she found that blocked, she headed for the shaft that ran over it.

She opened the hatch, and was horrified to find her pride and joy in shambles. River was in the corner with several pieces of machinery, making some sort of … gadget. Even Kaylee, the expert in all things mechanical, was baffled as to the purpose of … whatever it was. All she knew for sure was that there was NO way Serenity could function long without some of those parts – at least not properly. She jumped down to put the pieces where they belonged, but River stopped her.

"NO! You don't understand! The time is wrong, we have to fix it!" River pushed Kaylee over to the corner and sat her down. Outside, Kaylee could hear Captain Reynolds yelling at her to get Serenity ready to defend herself, and Simon pounding on the door, begging River to come out. Without those pieces that River had taken, Kaylee knew there was no way the former was going to be possible. They were seriously humped.

River took the pieces she had rigged together and headed toward the main body of the engine. Kaylee jumped up, intending to stop River, but River pinned her with an intense glare and continued on her mission.

"River, meimei, if you do that, the ship will…" her words were cut off as an explosion rocked the small vessel. Sparks and smoke flew from the engine, though that was not the source of the explosion, and the two young women were thrown back as the vessel went hurtling forward. Kaylee stared at the engine, wondering how they were being propelled.

"Well, ti wo de pigu," the baffled mechanic murmured.

River turned happily and hugged her sometimes playmate. "The time is fixed!"