"Sherlock," John called from the kitchen over the sound of boiling water. "Would you like any tea, or some biscuits?" He waited a moment for a response.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"So you do want some?"

"No, I don't want any."

"Well, alright then, I'll just make some for myself."

"It smells disgusting."

"Excuse me? I haven't even made the tea yet, it's just water."

"It makes it hard to think."

"Me making tea, makes it hard for you to think? You're unbelievable!"

"It doesn't."

"What are you talking about? Now it doesn't make it hard to think."

"It makes my head all dizzy."

"Tea? Tea makes your head dizzy . . . of course it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Sherlock! Stop talking in riddles. What's with the opposites? It does this, no it doesn't. I like it, no I don't. What are you doing?"

"I'd rather not tell you." At the last remark John rushed into the living room fearing that something bad was happening, or an experiment had gone wrong. Sherlock was sitting in his chair with his hands steepled under his chin.

"Sherlock! Are you trying to piss me off? 'Cause if you are it's working quite well!"

"Good. I'm glad." John clenched his fists and his face went red. He glared at Sherlock who had not opened his eyes the whole time John was in the room.

"You know what? I've had it with you. I'm not going to make you tea anymore, or give you food, or go grocery shopping. I won't text Lestrade when you're too lazy. I'm done helping you Sherlock."

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea." John shook his head, and returned to the kitchen to finish making his tea. Then a voice called out from the living room.

"John, could you make me some tea?" John stomped back into the room, furious.

"Really! You want tea, now! Did you pay attention to anything I just said? I'm done Sherlock. No more tea and biscuits from me. You'll have to get your sorry arse up and do it yourself!" Sherlock frowned, and eyed John suspiciously.

"John I really don't see the point of your frustration. All I asked for was a cup of tea, and I don't seem to recall you saying that."

"What do you mean you don't remember it? We talked about it less than a minute ago."

"John I wasn't talking to you a minute ago."

"We just had a whole conversation about tea, and you, and . . . frankly I don't even know what you were talking about or hearing for that matter."

"John. My responses were in no way directed at you, in fact, I didn't know you were speaking. Why would I want to have a conversation with you, when I could have a conversation with me?"