Kakashi stared after the retreating pink-haired figure, deeply perplexed.
I kissed Sakura, he thought, trying to make sense of it all. I kissed her and she ran away from me. She fled as if a million dogs were chasing her. Not once did she glance back at the bewildered man standing on the bridge. It didn't make any sense, because...
She kissed back.
So why did she flee from him?
-The Same Bridge, One Hour Earlier-
"I need your advice, Kakashi-sensei."
17-year-old Sakura leaned over the edge of the bridge, gazing at the rippling water. Before her eyes, the delicate ripples blurred into one indistinct shade of blue.
That answered the question of why she wanted to meet Kakashi at the bridge. But one other query sprouted from the explanation he had been given. He wondered about Sakura's motivation for asking emhim/em for advice when there were many worthy people, such as Tsunade-sama, that she seemed more likely to ask.
"I won't make any promises," he responded, choosing his words with care.
The girl did not expand on the subject right away. For several more minutes, Sakura continued staring at, without truly seeing, the ripples. Her own reflection, distorted by the water, gazed back at her patiently.
There was such a lengthy duration of time that Kakashi began to worry that their conversation would end on that obscure cliffhanger.
Eventually, Sakura's eyes left the ripples and came to rest on her companion's face.
"How do you know if you're in love with someone?"
It was Kakashi's turn to examine the ripples. He didn't pause to imagine why she was asking him of all people. Hatake Kakashi did not pretend to be an expert on love, dating, or the minds of either men or women. He left such uncomfortable topics to people who were brave enough to peruse them.
"Love is something you feel." Kakashi addressed the ripples in a composed voice. "Sometimes it's hard to distinguish, but your heart always knows before your brain does. Your heart will force you to protect that person with your life."
"Like you do with me, Kakashi-sensei?"
The sun was setting, draping a burning tint across the water. The day was coming to an inevitable close and there were only two people on the bridge: A grey-tressed sensei and a pink-haired kunoichi.
"Yeah. Something like that."
Kakashi spoke without significant emotion, as if he hadn't noticed until that moment that he did such a thing. The ruse, if indeed it was intended to be a ruse, was noticeably flimsy. He was still staring at the gentle ripples of the river below, his reflection telling no more than his actual face.
There was a soft, miserable sound that seemed thick in the silence.
Kakashi turned from the ripples and saw that Sakura was crying.
He was thrown for a moment, his mind in turmoil. The sight cut into his heart in a way that he had only experienced a few times in his life. Kakashi wanted her flow of tears to cease, but he was at a loss for comforting words. If a woman were to burst into sobs and throw herself on him (thankfully Sakura did not do the latter), he simply wouldn't know what to do. This was no exception.
In choking gasps, Sakura forced words from her shuddering lips.
"I-I-I don't h-h-how it hap-happened... Wh-what can I d-do? I-I think I'm f-falling out of l-love with S-Sa-Sasuke...j-just when he was s-starting to be i-interested in m-m-me!"
She collapsed into helpless sobs, her shoulders trembling with remorse.
Sasuke was starting to be interested in her? Kakashi frowned, wondering how this remarkable happening had escaped his notice. He was doubtful that Sakura was entertaining her mind with fantasies in order to cope with harsh reality. However, he knew that she had not told him the very root of her dismay. He sensed something she was holding back, either for herself or possibly for the protection of someone else.
Sakura didn't even feel it when Kakashi put a hand on her shaking shoulder. She was so enclosed in her own sadness that she wouldn't have felt a warm embrace.
"You're upset," the man uttered quietly. "I understand how terrible you feel about your puzzling feelings. But is there...something else? Something you don't want to tell me?"
He winced slightly as the words departed his lips. He wished he could have phrased that in a more subtle manner. Asking the question outright came with the risk of Sakura sealing herself up completely. If he didn't have the full story, he would be powerless to aid her recovery. Fortunately, the pink-haired shinobi fought past her own heartache and didn't shut out the man who was trying to help her. She was too miserable to care about his lack of tact.
"It's e-even worse t-than you t-think! I...I g-gave him e-everything! My h-heart...my s-soul...and my...my v-virginity!"
A sharp intake of breath from Kakashi. Not quite a gasp, but in the same category. Oblivious to any noise her sensei had made, Sakura resumed her tear-choked speech.
"I g-gave him the one t-t-thing I p-promised I'd o-only give to someone I loved!" Sakura practically wailed, shaking even harder with suppressed suffering. "But n-now I'm not s-sure I even l-love him an-an-anymore!" She adjoined, fighting to get control of herself,
"I'm n-not even sure he l-loves m-me!"
Kakashi was tempted to inquire as to why she had come to believe that he was suddenly interested in her after years of the opposite. But despite the query burning a hole in his mind, he stayed silent as Sakura continued to sob helplessly. He remembered her as a young girl, investing the majority of her interest in boys rather than training. Watching her cry uncontrollably, he was appalled that he had ever found her pursuit of Sasuke even slightly entertaining. Maybe, in an odd way, this was his punishment.
His hand on her shoulder was having no effect. Sakura was still crying as if everything bad in her life had swarmed into her throat with this latest despair. Considering the intensity of her tears, it could be assumed that this was indeed the case.
Smiling despite the girl's sadness, Kakashi reached for her hand, which lay idly across the railing of the bridge. His touch and his voice were more tender than they'd ever been in times of crisis. He suddenly had an air of charm and warmth that suited him more than his usual persona. This was a part of him that few people were privileged to see.
"Cry as much as you want," he whispered gently. "Cry until you feel better."
At his touch and his words, Sakura steadily swallowed the remainder of her tears. She had been sobbing for a while now and she was beginning to feel better. She always hated herself for crying so excessively, but now she realized that a long crying session was essential. She released a shuddering watery breath, wiping away the remnants of her tears. A weak smile spread across her features.
"I needed that," she uttered in a rather hoarse voice. "I needed someone to say that. Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."
Even though she had stopped crying, she didn't want Kakashi to remove his hand from hers. She had been acquainted with him for years and had never glimpsed this outwardly affectionate side of him. She had always pictured him being cold and unwilling when it came to things of that nature.
But her heart was pounding.
Her cheeks were turning red.
On second thought, Sakura would have preferred that Kakashi take his hand away from her own.
"I'm all better now," she reassured the man. "I overreacted a little, didn't I? Silly Sakura, always making a big deal out of something tiny..."
In reply, Kakashi wrapped his own hand around the kunoichi's and squeezed it gently. His gaze was sympathetic.
"No," he uttered firmly. "You have real concerns about things that matter to you. That's not silly."
He was closer to her than he had been before. Sakura hadn't noticed it, as her interest had been captured by him lightly touching her hand. But now, even as he held her hand in an affectionate grip, she couldn't fail to notice that he had moved closer to her sometime during the previous moments. A part of her was annoyed and wanted to tell him he was being strange. But it was the part of her that was actually enjoying it that won the battle in the end. Still, the fact that she was genuinely enjoying such fondness from Hatake Kakashi disturbed her.
"I almost wish someone would kiss me," Sakura whispered, misery creeping into her voice. "It might make me feel better to know that at least one person definitely loves me in a romantic way."
The sun had almost slipped below the rooftops by this time, the orange glow steadily dissolving into the gathering darkness.
Kakashi hesitated, his other hand idly playing with the cloth of his mask in indecision. In the dying illumination, he could not clearly distinguish the look on Sakura's face. Gambles were not his forte in everyday life.
The pink-haired girl turned away, returning the squeeze Kakashi had given her hand. She stared at the darkening sky as if it could supply the answer to her muddled feelings. She didn't want to begin crying again, forcing Kakashi to comfort her. Although she had a feeling he wouldn't mind doing this a second, third, or tenth time.
The hand that clutched Sakura's loosened its grip entirely. As she turned back to her companion, that same hand gently slid across her cheek. It lay there affectionately, adding its own heat to that of her blushing face.
He was even closer now. Close enough for Sakura to smell his breath, which carried the faint aroma of ramen.
A hallucination? Sakura wondered, startled.
For Kakashi had taken off his mask and was smiling at her with his true face. An attractive, meaningful face that didn't seem scarred by a tortured past. His appearance with the mask was what she was used to, but without half of his facial features obscured he was even more appealing to the eyes. That one unconcealed smile altered his entire visage for the better.
The kiss was like nothing Sakura had ever experienced before.
It sent all of her emotions crashing into each other, yet it gave her a sense of peace. Sex with Sasuke, her regrets about said sex, and everything else that was troubling her flew from her mind. She could only feel Kakashi's warmth and how expertly their tongues danced. He was the only thing she could care about. In the darkness behind her eyelids, she saw the image of his hand clutching hers. She let the happiness from that image fill her.
It was dark.
Kakashi was kissing her.
And she was kissing back.
Watching her depart in haste, Kakashi's thoughts were a confused jumble. He desired to run after her and clear up the mystery at once. Yet something, an indistinct little something, restrained him from following her. He stood as still as a scarecrow, watching her until she was swallowed by darkness and distance.
Only when she was out of his range of vision did that indistinct little something come into the light.
What if she just keeps running? he thought. What if she hates me?
He gazed over the edge of the bridge at the water, even though he could no longer see the ripples.
Kakashi came back to that bridge for a week after the incident.
He knew it was idiotic to hope for a meeting with Sakura. She actively tried to avoid him at every turn. Throughout missions or training, she would intentionally stray from his notice while still focused on her main task. At times when getting away wasn't possible, she would attach herself to Naruto or Sasuke in order to discourage Kakashi from bringing up the incident on the bridge. However, those were not the reasons Kakashi kept coming back to the bridge alone at that specific time of day.
In a curious way, he felt peaceful in that one place. He had never really had a sanctuary for himself and his thoughts. All because of a kiss that had ended with one of the people involved running away, he now saw the bridge as that needed oasis. It didn't make complete sense, even when he arranged the events and thoughts correctly, but that was of no importance. The important thing was that he had found that special place.
After a week of returning to the bridge, he abandoned his sanctuary. Although it was still his retreat, he realized that being there wasn't solving any of his problems. Sakura was still avoiding him and the memory of their kiss was still fresh in his mind. He simply gave up on everything that was troubling him, as it really had no impact on his daily life.
One day, Kakashi awakened to find a face hovering above him.
The visage was not properly illuminated, but he could tell it was someone he knew. He could make out the suggestion of a nose, a smiling mouth, and the person's hair. When he inhaled, he caught a faint whiff of strawberry-scented shampoo. For a split second, he wondered why there was someone in his bedroom.
Except this wasn't his bedroom.
He was outdoors, lying underneath a tree with Make-Out Paradise open on his chest. His hand lay almost protectively across the piece of literature. He had fallen asleep at some point without realizing it. And once that realization entered his mind, it was swiftly followed by the awareness that he was on a mission.
"Sakura?" Kakashi inquired blearily, speaking to the face above him.
It was indeed Sakura, smiling at him for the first time in days.
She dropped to her knees beside him in the grass, her expression friendly. It was a welcome change from the looks she had been giving him ever since the occurrence on the bridge. Additionally, the fact that she was close to him was also a nice change from her usual determination to be distance herself from him.
"You should know better than to wander off and take a nap," she scolded him gently. "What if all three of us had left, instead of just Naruto and Sasuke?" "Sorry," Kakashi apologized, stretching. "It's a warm day, you know."
Then, quite abruptly, he uttered serenely,
"I'm also sorry I kissed you."
The sudden extra apology surprised Sakura. She had chosen to go looking for Kakashi because Sasuke and Naruto didn't seem to care. During her short search, she hadn't once considered having to revisit the entire incident on the bridge. As he hadn't looked at her strangely or spoken of it, she thought he had somehow cast it from his memory. Sakura admitted the last thing to him, skeptical.
"I don't forget," was his immediate answer. "I only stop thinking about things for the time being."
For some reason, the latter sentence caused Sakura to stare at him in awe.
"What?" he demanded, puzzled.
"How...how do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Internalize your feelings! You just...tell yourself not to think about this or that and then you don't. I wish I could deal with my emotions like you do, Kakashi-sensei! Calmly, rationally, secretly, and masterfully!"
Kakashi wasn't certain why she was just then beginning to be impressed by that aspect of his personality. He had been displaying it openly for all the years he had known her, yet she was talking as if it was a new and exciting thing. He wondered if she realized that he didn't have such an iron grip on his emotions one hundred percent of the time.
"You do, Sakura," he told her. "Especially nowadays."
Sakura hesitated, her cheeks aglow with embarrassment. It wasn't like her to be this shy, except around Sasuke at times. When she spoke, she employed a tone of relieved optimism that didn't advertise her embarrassment.
"I regret how things happened between me and Sasuke. I wasn't using my best judgement. But...I don't regret the kiss. Thinking about it makes me a little happier about the mistake that led to it."
Tentatively, as if preparing for an objection, Sakura reached out and touched Kakashi's hand. She felt the hand, which was resting idly on the man's knee, flinch slightly at her touch, but it did not withdraw entirely. After that first twinge, it lay quite still underneath her own. Emboldened by her companion's lack of recoil, Sakura allowed her disinclination to wane.
"You're so sweet to put up with my silliness all the time. You must really like me!"
As soon as the words slipped past her lips, she worried that she had crossed a line of some sort. Perhaps that would be Kakashi's cue to yank his hand away from hers, get to his feet, and depart with a hasty word of farewell. Sakura waited for the response fearfully, barely breathing in her alarm.
"Like you?" Kakashi uttered slowly, staring into her eyes. "No, you're wrong. That's not it at all."
The hand resting underneath Sakura's stirred.
"Why would I like you? You made me lower my defenses, which is troublesome."
His fingers began to slide into the gaps between hers.
"Whenever I'm around you, I get a strong urge to kiss you, which is also troublesome."
His hand slowly embraced hers.
"It's even more troublesome that you seemed to fall more in love with Sasuke every time I started to fall for you. There's no end to the trouble you've caused me, Sakura. I knew from the very beginning that you were going to cause me nothing but grief. I don't like you at all, Sakura."
Kakashi adjoined, smiling broadly,
"But I do happen to love you. That's much better, isn't it?"
Underneath the gorgeous early evening sky, the pink-tressed kunoichi gave her gray-tressed sensei a brief kiss. "I love you", "I want to be with you", "I only ran away because I didn't know what else to do", and "I forgive you for everything" somehow squeezed themselves into that one kiss that lasted barely a second. Kakashi and Sakura had always been skilled at unspoken communication, but neither of them had suspected that a kiss could deliver such a wide array of messages from Sakura's mind to Kakashi's.
"That was very nice, but a little boring," Kakashi commented, a wicked gleam in his eye. "I'll happily teach you the highest level of kissing."
Sakura blushed and muttered something about him being a pervert, but she didn't protest in the slightest. Truthfully, it was of little consequence if they went no further than kissing that day, the next, or the following hundred. Unlike the last time she sincerely felt this way, her desire for something physical didn't threaten to consume her logic. She wasn't in a hurry to tarnish this wonderful, relatively innocent, place she had found with Kakashi.
After her experience with Sasuke, she would be satisfied waiting months or even years for that to happen.