It was a Friday afternoon when Sirius heard a knock on the door.
Whoever it was behind the door had probably been knocking there for a while. The door bell had been broken for few days and it was hard to hear anything over Harry's crying. Sirius carried the wailing toddler from the kitchen with him to the door - when Harry was in this mood, he couldn't be left alone anywhere, or he would just start breaking stuff to get Sirius to come back to pay attention to him and his temper tantrum.
With understandably thinned nerves, Sirius opened the door - a red faced toddler under his arm kicking and wriggling - and pretty much snarled at the man standing behind the door: "What is it?"
The unfamiliar man, who was wearing a brown cardigan and looked around Sirius' age, or maybe little older, had a carefully neutral expression on his face. "I'm looking for Sirius Black."
"You found him." Sirius struggled to hold Harry. Only when a big orange cat ran past his legs to the corridor did Sirius remember that he had completely forgotten about the bloody creature. Cursing, he put Harry on the floor - where the little boy picked up a shoe and started to bang the floor with it while continuing his screaming - and shouted to the man over the noise: "One moment. Have to catch that bloody pest. Hold the door, will you?"
Without waiting for the answer, Sirius ran down the stairs after the cat. Luckily their flat was only on the second floor, and for once nobody had left the front door of the building open. Ginger glared at him accusingly as Sirius scooped up the fluffy beast and carried him firmly back up the stairs. It had been a month, and still the cat was determined to get out of Sirius' flat whenever it had a chance.
The man was waiting for him and holding the door open. One of Sirius' neighbours, a sour old lady next door, had opened her door and was complaining to the man about Harry's screaming. The man seemed to be apologizing for the noise just as Sirius came back up.
"Take your hearing aid off if you can't stand to hear a kid being a kid!" Sirius snarled at the woman, who glared at him and without a word slammed her door shut. Sirius turned to the man: "And you, come in, before these two make a mass escape."
Sirius stormed in and the man followed him, shutting the door. Sirius let Ginger down, and the cat ran away in a huff.
Harry was still screaming at the door and banging the floor. His voice had started to turn hoarse and he was swaying in a manner that meant that he hadn't taken a good breath in a while.
"Go sit in the living room, we'll be there in a sec," Sirius told the man and went to pick up his godson. Harry was becoming so tired of screaming that he didn't even try to struggle against being picked up.
While carrying the boy to the kitchen, Sirius stroked his back soothingly and murmured some nonsense to get Harry to finally calm down. He filled a plastic mug with some cool milk and grabbed some napkins, before going to the living room.
The man had sat down on the armchair. He looked calm and collected despite all the chaos going on around him. He considered Sirius with carefully distant politeness when he saw him come into the room. There was an official air about him, and Sirius now noticed the brown, battered old case the man had with him.
Sirius hoped this wasn't about any bad news. He could do without those for a while.
Sirius sat down on the couch with Harry and gave him the mug, while continuing to soothingly stroke his back. Harry gave one suspicious, shy glance to the strange man before turning his back to him and leant against Sirius while drinking the milk.
"Sorry about.. all of that," said Sirius tiredly. "So. What is this about?"
"I'm social worker Remus Lupin from Child Protection," said the man neutrally and offered Sirius his card.
"What?" spluttered Sirius in disbelief. A chill of fear went through him. "Child Protection?" He knew he hadn't done anything to warrant a visit from Child Protection, but that knowledge didn't lessen his uneasiness.
He knew that in theory bureaucrats should be these objective, wise, neutral beings. He also knew that in practise, they were people like everyone else, and some of them were smart, honorable and did their jobs well, and some were incapable powermad monsters who wrecked people's lives. And most fell somewhere in between the two extremes.
"There have been some concerns filed to us about Harry," said Remus. "But if everything is alright, you don't have anything to worry about. I'm here only to find out whether there is actually something to be concerned about."
"Who filed those concerns?" asked Sirius.
"I cannot reveal that. It's classified information."
"Well, who else could it have been but my crazy neighbours... Come on, you saw Mrs Langdon! That's the kind of batty old granmas I have to live with here! I'm not going to tape Harry's mouth over just because they think that children should be seen and not heard!"
Lupin's lips twitched. "That's good. It would be concerning if you were alright with taping over his mouth."
Harry, getting anxious again as he felt Sirius getting anxious, threw his mug on the floor. Milk splayed on the carpet. Sirius swallowed his swears and hugged the boy. He tried to calm down, for the boy's sake, even though his heart was beating hard and he felt the familiar fear from few weeks before. The fear that someone would come and suddenly take his godson away from him. He would have liked nothing more than to yell his throat raw at this man and to shove him out of the flat and out of their lives.
Ginger was watching them all with sharp eyes from the top of the bookself. Sirius hoped that he'd jump down on Lupin's head, like he sometimes did to Sirius.
"Maybe we could have a chat over tea? I need to ask some questions and fill some papers, and I'm afraid it'll take some time", said Lupin apologetically.
Sirius nodded. He picked up the mug from the floor and wiped away most of the milk - the carpet was a lost cause already, strained all over, and he wasn't too fussed about it. He'd buy a new one. Soon. One day. When he remembered.
He picked up Harry again and then the two men and the boy went to the kitchen. Sirius put the kettle on and grabbed some cookies from the cupboard for them. As he put the cookies down on the table Sirius saw how Ginger had jumped onto Lupin's lap. The grumpy cat was purring and Lupin was stroking it with a small smile.
"He's a beautiful cat," said Lupin. "What's his name?"
"Ginger."
"How original."
"I didn't name him," said Sirius. Lily had. "If I had, I would have named him Devil."
"I think Ginger fits you better," said Lupin fondly to the cat, and then, careful to not push Ginger off, picked his case and put it on the table. He opened it and took out a couple of forms, a notebook and some pens.
Sirius' stomach lurched, but he pushed away his anxiety and sat down, with Harry on his lap. He gave Harry some cookies to keep him occupied and then looked over at Lupin and at his papers again.
Sirius cleared his throat. "So. Um. Let's get this over with."
Lupin nodded. "I have this form that needs some of your basic information, like the contact information." Lupin passed him a paper and a pen. Sirius filled the form quickly and Lupin took the paper back, gave it a quick glance through and then put it down. He took his notebook and a pen.
"I'd like you to tell me about yourself and Harry. If you could describe in your own words how things are with the two of you."
Sirius stared at the man for a moment. How things are? What could he tell this man, honestly, that wouldn't sound as horrible as it sounded in his head? 'Thank you for asking me, Mister Child Protection Officer, neither of us have slept properly for nights, I am exhausted beyond belief and I have started to doubt that I can do this. Most of the time we just both scream or cry.'
"Things are good," said Sirius defensively, just as the kettle started to whistle. He put Harry on the other chair and got up to get their tea and cups. His hands were shaking only slightly.
"Are you raising Harry alone?" asked Lupin.
"Shouldn't that all be in your papers?"
"People often overestimate how much information we actually have. And even if someone somewhere has filed down something, papers can often be misfiled or lost. In your case, I know only that you are Harry's godfather and listed as his caretaker."
Sirius put down the cups and poured the tea. He gave Harry a new mug full of milk and prayed that he'd end up throwing it all over Lupin's papers. "Yeah."
"How long have you been taking care of him?"
"For a month," said Sirius shortly. "There was a car crash and... yeah."
"So recently? I- I'm sorry. To hear that."
"Yeah. So. Things are actually a little shit still. But we manage."
"It must be tiring to raise him alone."
Sirius glared at Lupin. "Yes. But I'm not giving up. Nor am I hitting him or neglecting him."
"I haven't seen any signs of that," said Lupin calmly. "I'm not your enemy here. I'm trying to tell you that we could arrange some help for you with him. Because frankly, what I have seen is one very exhausted man, who is doing his best in hard times."
"What kind of help?"
"We have some volunteer families who can take up children a few times a month to give parents, or caretakers a break." Lupin hesitated and seemed to pick his words carefully as to not offend him. "And if you feel like you would want to talk to someone, we could book someone to come over once a week for an hour. That could be me, or someone else from the CP. We do have a psychologist, but there is a long queue to get any time with her."
"You mean you'd come to keep an eye on us? On me?"
"No," said Lupin kindly. "To help around the house and to be someone for you to talk to. Go for a walk with you two. Although, because of the reports filed about Harry, I need to come a couple more times to check up that everything is still in order. But these visits I suggested differ from 'check ups', because there wouldn't be any of this form filling or 'interrogating'."
Sirius snorted. He doubted he would enjoy some bureaucrat prancing around his flat and trying to have some heart-to-heart talks with him. 'How do you feel about the death of your best friends? How does it feel to be left alone in this world?' Even if this Lupin guy didn't seem too bad, he still felt like an intruder and a threat to his small, mismatched family of himself, a toddler and a grumpy cat. "I'll think about it. If you are so adamant about inviting yourself over again, I'll just tell you my decision next time you come."
"Splendid."
While the men had been talking, Harry had fallen asleep on the chair. When Sirius noticed this, he said to Lupin: "I'll be back soon. Just putting him to bed." He rose and carefully picked Harry up. He didn't remember Harry's mug of milk until it slipped from boy's hand and spilled all over Sirius' trousers.
Sirius closed his eyes and counted to ten.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Lupin biting his lip and clearly trying not to smile. He was putting his papers back to his case. "I think we are done here, actually. I'll fill my report at my office and there is no need for more forms for you to fill, since I can't see anything out of order. But let's check our calendars and arrange the next visit when you come back."
When Sirius came back from putting Harry to bed, Lupin was already putting his cardigan back on.
"It's good for the boy to get some sleep," said Sirius. "He's having too many nightmares." He and I both.
Lupin didn't comment on that - or told Sirius to get some sleep too - although Sirius could see that the man was thinking those things. Sirius knew he looked a state.
They set up the next meeting a few weeks away and Lupin gave Sirius his number.
Sirius grinned. "Don't take it personally if I don't call you up tomorrow for a second date." To his delight, Lupin actually blushed - even if just faintly. It was the first sign of his perfectly professional (albeit cat loving and slightly snarky) composure crumbling.
"Don't worry, this job has taught me to take rejections with grace," said Lupin jokingly. "I have lost count of how many gorgeous guys I have given my number to, and not a single call back." He cleared his throat. "Well. We'll see in few weeks. But really, all kidding aside, if anything comes up, please don't be afraid to call that number."
Sirius felt like a teenager as he sniggered inside his head at the thought of what could come up, but on the outside he kept a mature, adult face and just nodded.
After Lupin had left, Ginger started to yowl after him at the door.
Tough luck, Devil, Sirius thought as he looked at the door, as much of an eye candy as he was, we will only see him a couple of times and then never again. It's just you and me, and a little poop machine, and you should start to get used to it. He felt a little twinge at the thought, and remembered Lupin's words: 'It must be tiring to raise him alone.'
Well, there was always an option to call Lupin up for that 'second date' tomorrow... Sirius grinned. If he wasn't completely delusional (which of course was a possibility, people had gone mad from less than what he had gone through during the last month), he had a suspicion that the man wouldn't be against that.
Author's notes: Betaed by wonderful Wereflamingo from Archive of Our Own; there was a lot to fix and she did an awesome job cheerleading me and editing it, and any mistakes left are mine. Written for Slytherinpansexualpride's as a super late pinch fic/gift and based on their prompts ("First meeting AU"/"Kid fic").
Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed it! :) You can now find me at Tumblr as Mirgaxus, come say hi and leave a prompt in my ask box if there is a Wolfstar/Marauder fic you'd love to see written.