Baby Talk

Aylwen pressed herself closer to Cullen as they kissed atop the covers. She wasn't quite sure how they'd gotten to this point. The two of them had only meant to drop by her room briefly, but somehow they'd ended up on top of her bed, his arms tight around her waist and her hands cradling his face. Not that she minded. She was lost in the sting of his stubble, the solid press of his chest against hers, his scent all around her— And then he pulled back.

"Aylwen," he said faintly. His breath tickled her face. "Aylwen, love."

"What?" she said, out of breath. Her eyes were still closed, mind consumed by the desire to kiss him again.

"Have you ever, um, thought about children?"

Her eyes flew open, the fog clearing. His face was only inches from hers, and in the dim light she could just make out his nervous smile.

"What?" she said.

His body, and his smile, stiffened.

"I was just wondering if, er, you've ever thought about having children," he said.

She blinked. This was definitely not where she'd envisioned the evening going.

"Um," she said. "Do you mean in general, or do you mean with you?"

"Yes," he said. "I mean, both. Either." He shrugged—awkwardly, since he was still holding her. "I'm sorry. It was a stupid question."

"No!" she said quickly. Her hands tightened around his face so he wouldn't look away. "It's not. Only… it's a little out of the blue, don't you think?"

"I know," he said. He laughed slightly, and his body relaxed. "It just… popped into my head."

She laughed as well, relieved by the drop in tension, and moved her hands to bury fingers in his curls.

"You're a very strange man," she said, "and your timing is terrible."

"I know," he said. "But now that I've asked, what's your answer?"

Aylwen bit her lip, eyes flickering away from his.

"Hmm…" she said. "I suppose I would like to have children. I mean, I've always thought I would."

She cut off, not finishing her thought. Not saying that, when she'd pictured herself having children, she'd imagined they would be elven, that they would grow up Dalish. It was something she hadn't reconciled herself to yet, the fact that with him that would be impossible.

She shook her head, trying to shake off the pressure that built in her chest whenever she thought about her clan around him, and tried to smile.

"What about you?" she said. She combed through his hair with one hand. "Would you like to have children?"

He smiled, reached up and placed his hand over hers.

"I think so," he said. "It wasn't something I ever thought I'd be able to do. But now… with you… it seems possible."

She looked into his warm eyes, and suddenly it did seem possible. For the first time, she allowed herself to imagine children, not with ears like hers, perhaps, but with his golden eyes or curly hair. Her stomach did a dizzying somersault. It wasn't what she'd always pictured for herself, but it was, perhaps, even more wonderful.

"Cullen," she said. Her fingers whispered against his cheek. "I would love to have children with you someday."

He blinked, eyes widening. He seemed lost for words, but instead of speaking he closed his eyes and tightened his arm around her waist. His lips met hers. She sighed into his kiss, head starting to fill with fog again—before she pulled back.

"—but not soon, all right?" she said. "I don't want to have children now. I mean in a few years. We might want to at least consider getting married first."

He chuckled, forehead pressed against hers. "Of course," he said. "Whenever you want."

She smiled, and tilted her head to kiss him again.