This is my first publication here. So chances are damn good that I
did something wrong. If such is the case I beg you're leniency. Uh, the
only other thing I have to say is that I suck at angst....very much.... But I
wanted to write this anyway, there are probably spoilers...
My body is eroding. I can feel the flesh burning from it. What a unique sensation it is, to be rejected by paradise. Yet in place of pain I feel only somber indifference. Perhaps dying at the gates of paradise is part of a sadistic joke. To know how close I was to seeing you again. How close I was to ending the melodramatic farce we had been thrown into as a result of my curse. Even as I think of it, how this ultimate end is little more than the frigid punch line of some god's private joke, I can bring myself to feel nothing.
Perhaps it killed me long ago, being greeted by your corpse on the very day I had recovered the flower maiden. In that instant all my work had been lost. The hope my shattered heart dare hold was forever smothered with the image of your deathly face. Everything ceased to matter for me. The future, the wolves, the flower maiden, and paradise were inconsequential. For none of them could grant me my desire. None of them could return you to me.
'What do you hope to find in paradise?'
'A future.... nothing more'
The words of that wolf still remain, a lilting tune that echoes endlessly. At that time, I had dismissed it as nothing. A future without you was banishment to hell, a fate that seemed inevitable. Yet I saw some truth in them, some part of me was attracted to the future. My confrontation of Jagara, my refusal of her false paradise, I had watched these events as though I were a mere spectator. My action was obvious, for paradise would not unleash its grip on me.
'There exists none of creations joy, happiness, or life....because there is none of creations sadness, misfortune, and death'
Death is all that remains for me. My beloved Harmona, I shall never see you again. The blood on my own hands has been mounting. The wolves, the old one, and the lovers were all drawn to their demise by the strings of paradise. That this should be my end as well seems all too obvious in hindsight. So with this I bid farewell, for however long we are parted. I shall find you again one day...and we shall never part again.
My body is eroding. I can feel the flesh burning from it. What a unique sensation it is, to be rejected by paradise. Yet in place of pain I feel only somber indifference. Perhaps dying at the gates of paradise is part of a sadistic joke. To know how close I was to seeing you again. How close I was to ending the melodramatic farce we had been thrown into as a result of my curse. Even as I think of it, how this ultimate end is little more than the frigid punch line of some god's private joke, I can bring myself to feel nothing.
Perhaps it killed me long ago, being greeted by your corpse on the very day I had recovered the flower maiden. In that instant all my work had been lost. The hope my shattered heart dare hold was forever smothered with the image of your deathly face. Everything ceased to matter for me. The future, the wolves, the flower maiden, and paradise were inconsequential. For none of them could grant me my desire. None of them could return you to me.
'What do you hope to find in paradise?'
'A future.... nothing more'
The words of that wolf still remain, a lilting tune that echoes endlessly. At that time, I had dismissed it as nothing. A future without you was banishment to hell, a fate that seemed inevitable. Yet I saw some truth in them, some part of me was attracted to the future. My confrontation of Jagara, my refusal of her false paradise, I had watched these events as though I were a mere spectator. My action was obvious, for paradise would not unleash its grip on me.
'There exists none of creations joy, happiness, or life....because there is none of creations sadness, misfortune, and death'
Death is all that remains for me. My beloved Harmona, I shall never see you again. The blood on my own hands has been mounting. The wolves, the old one, and the lovers were all drawn to their demise by the strings of paradise. That this should be my end as well seems all too obvious in hindsight. So with this I bid farewell, for however long we are parted. I shall find you again one day...and we shall never part again.