Disclaimer : I do not own Shingeki No Kyojin / Attack On Titan nor its characters.
Eren hadn't known the day of his first child, of his first daughter's birth, would be the happiest yet saddest day of his entire life.
Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman had been together since… forever. They've been together since childhood, they had grown up together. They had their misunderstandings, arguments and finally in the end, they had their reconciliation. Eventually, through the dreaded years of high school, the two found love for one another. Long story short, they got married once the time was right.
Eren often wondered when it was when Mikasa started to have a liking towards the brunette. After having found out from a certain blonde that she had been in love him, even before he developed such feelings for the raven, it made him curious. Though, whenever he'd ask Mikasa about it, the raven would only let out a soft chuckle while fiddling with the red scarf he had given her long ago, during dark times.
"Who knows?" She would always respond, with the same lovely smile as always. And of course, even though it left the brunette unsatisfied since he didn't exactly get his answer, he knew it didn't matter when it was. What mattered was that now, they were together forever. Or so he had thought.
The brunette remembered the day he finally recognize the feelings he had for Mikasa. Growing up, even though they were childhood friends, he often found her annoying for being so protective, so motherly towards him, to be honest, he resented it. It was only later did he realize her reasons for such which made him a little more tolerant towards her protective actions.
Although soon enough, after the resolved arguments and misunderstandings between the two, it had made the two develop as people in their own ways. Eren wasn't that reckless too often anymore and wasn't as impulsive as often. Mikasa's protective nature towards the brunette soon calmed, in a sense of which she wouldn't really pester him about the littlest of things, but let him grow and be independent. And once they matured in their own ways, it was only then did the brunette recognize the other aspects of Mikasa, the positive ones.
Mikasa Ackerman was beautiful, Eren thought. He didn't mean just the outer appearance, but on the inside as well. There were barely any words to describe it, really. But having grown up with her, despite often seeing the stoic expression she often wore, he knew deep inside of her, there was just so much more to it, to her. It was only later during their high school years did Eren confessed to her, and he remembered ever so clearly the expression Mikasa had when he did. She seemed rather shocked the brunette had develop feelings for her, of course she didn't mean it in a bad way. It was more of…it seemed rather, unbelievable.
After all, she had loved him as long as time could remember. It was just that he was too dense to have noticed. All in all, she accepted his confession in a heartbeat, and that was when their journey as a couple started.
Ah, the memories. The brunette could go on and on thinking about them, but it was painful that now he could only see the raven beauty there, his memories. It was the cold truth of harsh reality.
A few months after their marriage, Eren had gotten his wife, Mikasa, pregnant. And of course, the two soon-to-be parents were overjoyed. Except, during the last few weeks of Mikasa's pregnancy, he seemed to notice something… different about her. When he had asked her if everything was alright, she only responded with a nod, followed by an obviously pained smile, "I'm okay." She would always say whenever he would ask her then. He worried that she was having second thoughts, but that wasn't the case—he would know, even without asking her. After all, between the two of them it was obvious enough that the raven had always wanted to start a family with him. Though, another fear rose when he knew that, that wasn't the case of her sudden behaviour. A fear in which that caused the pessimistic side of him to worry so much internally, which was: What if Mikasa or the baby doesn't make it?
Shaking his head he pushed those thoughts aside and shoved them under a rug. He didn't wish to think about it, or ask about such, not wanting to cause any unnecessary worry for his wife.
When Mikasa's water broke, she was immediately rushed to the hospital to give birth to their child. While waiting for her to birth their child, along with Eren, Armin had tagged along as a well, someone to calm Eren down who was growing both impatient and worried by the minute as he heard some screams coming from her room. Soon after, more of their friends had come and waited patiently for the results.
After a while, the screams had come to a halt. Eren had assumed he'd have felt relief once it did, but now he was concerned as to why they stopped so suddenly. The doctor then came out of the room that the raven was in, and just as he was about to call Eren's name, the brunette had already rushed into the room, to see his child, his daughter in her mother's arms.
He was in awe of the sight he saw, he didn't know what to do, what to say. He just stared at them, it was just too good to be true.
"What are you waiting for? Come and meet your daughter." Mikasa spoke in a weak way, she was exhausted.
Giving an immediate nod, Eren rushed over to Mikasa's side, slowly but carefully, he carried the little girl in his arms. To his shock she wasn't crying, or wailing, and when she was in her father's arms, she seemed to be at peace, she looked happy. It was clear when Eren noticed her lips curving into a small smile.
"What do you think?" Mikasa asked.
Eren's eyes only softened. "She's … beautiful. Like you." The brunette spoke, as he noticed tears forming in his eyes, tears of joy.
"Eren…" Mikasa called out to him, this time in a weaker tone, which the brunette noticed almost immediately, causing his concerns to rise.
"What is I—"Before he could complete his sentence, he noticed Mikasa wincing slightly in pain, and before Eren could go call for help, Mikasa had called out for his name again.
Just calling out his name, it was enough force to cause the brunette to halt in his steps.
"Hey... Eren… I'm sorry for not telling you this sooner… I knew… this would happen. I saw it in a dream… and I had a gut feeling tha—"
Even without hearing what she had plan to say, without even knowing what she meant by 'this', Eren already knew what was happening. Just by the look of pain and sorrow in her eyes, it was enough for anyone to guess what twisted fate and end had laid for the unfortunate raven. Or at least, enough for him to guess what was happening. Mikasa's recent odd behaviour, and her skin that was now paling was what told the brunette otherwise. Moreover, it was fear that led him to believe on about what was soon to happen. He had never, or at least tried to not think about the worst of what might happen if things went wrong during the birth of their child. And right now, a part of him was in denial of what was to obviously happen.
"W-What are you saying? Stop j-joking aroun—" Eren stuttered out, quickly cutting off her words.
But, it was the pained smile that she suddenly wore, that had cut off the brunette's words, leaving him speechless. Regardless of that, he still remained in denial on what he had assumed was going to happen.
"Eren…and my lovely daughter…" Mikasa spoke softly, followed by a weak chuckle. "I love you two…"
"M-Mikasa! Stop p-playing a—"
Eren's sudden desperate shouts seemed to have caused a certain little one to cry. Although, it wasn't just Eren's desperate shouts that caused their daughter to cry, even she knew that her mother's time was soon to be up. After all, the atmosphere that was once so lively, so full of joy at the birth of a new addition to the family, soon dulled grimly.
"I'm… s-sorry, Eren…take care of her… okay?" The raven managed to speak as her tone grew weak, and weaker after each word, until no more words came out of her lips. Her eyes were now closed shut, and her breathing had stopped.
And when her breathing stopped, Eren's world stopped as well.
'I could've saved her…' Eren thought to himself. He had noticed the change and difference in Mikasa's attitude during the few weeks before her water broke. Maybe if he had recognized it sooner, Mikasa wouldn't be in this position. Maybe she could've lived. Or maybe not. For the past few visits with the doctor before her due date, they had said the baby and the mother were doing fine. The doctor's reassurance, however, only reassured Eren more or less.
Thinking back, Mikasa didn't seem that reassured despite the doctor's words. She had the expression of pain and sorrow. Eren didn't really ask her about it too much, having assumed it was just the nervousness. After all, she was the one who would be delivering the child, not him.
He was left with a question to ponder on now, 'Why didn't Mikasa tell me about it…?'
Was she trying to shoulder all the burden? Was she trying to protect Eren from something… again? Was she just afraid of the response?
Eren didn't know, all he knew was that Mikasa would almost tell him anything and everything important.
'So why… So why didn't you tell me about this?'
At these thoughts, Eren's heart broke even more.
Now, it wasn't just their daughter's sobs echoing the room, but Eren's as well, as he held their daughter ever so closely to his chest, forcing his tears to halt… yet to no avail.
"Damnit… Damnit…!" He cursed in a soft yet fierce tone.
He was just so mad, so blindingly mad that this cruel, cruel world had ruthlessly taken away someone he loved so damn much, someone who didn't deserve this twisted fate.
"So, what are you going to do now?" Armin had asked, at which the brunette remained silent.
A few days after Mikasa's unfortunate death, a funeral was held for her. When it was all over, everyone dispersed back home, majority of which in tears. They didn't want to stay there much longer, they didn't want to accept it.
Eren recalled certain whispers he heard from some during the funeral ceremony.
"Poor guy, raising a child alone."
"And a daughter to say the least, she needs a motherly figure."
"I hope she turns out well at least, I wonder if he can even raise a child… I mean he's Eren."
Alas, the comments made by those people that he hadn't even seen since high school was like a stab to the remains of his wounded heart. They were all right, how was he going to raise her?
"Eren?" Armin called out again, which brought the brunette's mind back to reality. "What are you going to do now?" The blonde repeated.
Eren glanced up to the blonde quietly, his oceanic orbs didn't seem so bright that night. In the matter of fact, they looked dull. He had been their childhood friend as well, he had a bond between Mikasa and him as well, a bond that the brunette couldn't possibly interfere, and the same went with him. The two had a bond that no one could really interfere.
"I… don't know. Maybe I'll… ask Hanji and Levi to take care of her since they're babysitting her tonight, maybe they wouldn't mind permanently looking after her. Unless you and Annie can, but then you already have twins and that'd be—"
"Back in the hospital…" Armin had cut the brunette off, "You told me Mikasa's last words, didn't you? Do you remember?"
'I'm… s-sorry, Eren…take care of her… okay?'
At remembering those words, the brunette bit his lips, struggling to hold back his tears. Even though he hadn't exactly promised her that he would do so, he already knew that it wasn't really a choice.
Eren also didn't really hold any blame or resent towards Mikasa, who left him so suddenly, even though she could've told him sooner. She probably was in denial of that fact that she was going to die as well. Who wouldn't? It was so sudden, she was so strong, and her health was always in perfect condition. To say the least, her intuition of her death day came from a dream, or so to say, a nightmare, was probably unbelievable. All in all, he still didn't know why, why she didn't tell him anything. And he was in conflict if he even wanted to know the answer.
"What can I do, Armin?" Eren sighed. "I… she's gone. And she needs a motherly figure—"
"You're only saying that because of the comments made during the funeral, aren't you? Eren, those were comments made by people who barely knew you ever since high school. They don't even know the 'you' in the present. You've changed and developed so much, Eren. Even without a mother, if she's under your wing, she'll grow up fi—"
"You don't understand, Armin! You don't know what it's like losing someone you love so much. I… I can't raise a child all by myself! For fuck's sake, I'm Eren!" Eren yelled slightly, as his fist clenched before looking back down on the ground. After cooling down for a bit, he continued, in a sudden weak tone, "I can't raise her alone… I can't do this alone… She needs Mikasa… She needs a mothe—"
"You're wrong, Eren." Armin finally spoke, as he placed a hand on his shoulder in comfort. "She just needs someone to be there for her. And that was what Mikasa entrusted you, and only you to do. Nobody else."
Author's Notes: Just something I wrote out of boredom, since I'm on Writer's block for my other fanfic that's still being plotted haha. Please leave a review! I hope that it's okay. And this story will have a few more (hopefully not more than five) chapters.