I love them when they're hurt and twisty. Please forgive me.

I don't want anyone to read this and feel like Sam was just crying constantly for ten years, it takes a lot for her to cry and I wanted to examine why she may cry in front of Jack apart from the few examples that we saw on the show.

I won't spoil anything by giving specific warnings but some of these hurt a little, be warned. (No sexual violence)

All mistakes are my own.

The first time that she openly cries in front of him is just 6 months into their time as a team. She has prided herself on being 'one of the guys' from the moment she stepped through the gate and controlling her emotions is a huge part of that.

The first time that she had almost cried in front of him was after she was rescued from the Shavadai, before she'd gone back to kick Turghan's ass. She was so relieved to have been rescued but embarrassed and overwhelmed, she was worried about what her team might think of her. She had taken a few minutes to get cleaned up and back in to her uniform knowing that her CO was waiting just meters away. She had felt the sting of tears as she pulled on her jacket, her ordeal may have been over but unsure of the consequences. She had promised O'Neill she wouldn't let him down, what would he think now? She steeled herself, reminded herself to get a grip and carried on just as her CO would expect her to.

Now she can't control the tears that slide down her cheek as she watches the remaining members of SG2 clamber around their fallen team mate. Colonel Graham Greeves bows his head, whispering some sort of hushed prayer that she can't quite hear. Captain Jo Forbes stares blankly ahead while Major Colin Jones openly sobs. Captain Jamie Kelly had been hit by a staff blast whilst protecting Major Jones, he had died instantly.

SG1 and 2 had been visiting a friendly planet when Apophis had arrived, the villagers tried to fight with the SG teams but without weapons many perished.

Sam had been friends with Jamie Kelly for five months, both having a background in science, both the same age, both with front line SG teams and both with well known Colonel's who ask for a lot and give a lot in return. After her first mission he had found her on her own in the commissary and started a simple conversation that had turned into a friendship. They would catch up when they could but she hadn't managed to speak to him in a few weeks, she'd been happy when she realised that they would be on a mission together, maybe she would finally get to hear about his date with Nurse Atkins.

She had barely spoken to him on the mission, they'd only been there a few hours before all hell broke loose and now he was gone. Major Jones continues to sob as Colonel Greeves places a gentle, supportive hand on his back.

At the same time she feels a hand on her shoulder, she turns to see Colonel O'Neill.

"I'm sorry Sir," she immediately wipes her tears and tries to pull herself together. She knows that her team are safe, that had been the first thing that she had checked before she'd realised that Jamie hadn't made it. She had hopes for just a few minutes to grieve.

"I'm sorry about Kelly, I know he was your friend." He speaks softly.

"Yes Sir," she can't control her tears. "I'm sorry," she whispers again, angrily wiping her hand across her face. She can't help but wonder what he will think of her, stood there, openly crying on an alien planet.

"Carter, you have nothing to be sorry about. It's okay to cry, it's a big loss."

"Thank you, Sir."

She watches as he walks towards Greeves, offering him a supportive pat on the back and sympathy at the loss of one of his team. Greeves nods and wipes his eyes, allowing O'Neill to comfort him. Within moments Greeves is back supporting his team, promising them that they'll take Captain Kelly home just like he deserves.

"Sam, are you okay?" Daniel Jackson asks a few minutes later as Sam and Jack walk towards him. Sam doesn't try to hide her tears and sees no judgement from Daniel, not that she ever thought she would.

"Jamie was my friend, it's a big loss."

Colonel O'Neill nods, sends her a small smile and speaks. "Let's get him home."

Thank you for reading. I would love to know what you think.