I originally started this fic on Christmas Eve, and then I got excited for Santa's visit and never finished it before the event itself. It's my good friend Sammy's birthday on the 28th December, so this is my little present to her [Along with the one's I've already bought her]
Happy Birthday Beautiful, have the best day :) I love you and I'm glad that I met you xx
You aren't sure why the hell Brendan invited Danny over to yours, you're not even sure you want him here either, but you go along with it. He tells you that you're lucky to have a dad who wants to spend quality time with you, in the way that "quality time" is supposed to mean. That thought turns your stomach, more than Brendan realises.
There's another reason you're unsure about spending an entire day, afternoon, evening and early hours of the morning with your Dad, the small fact that you've actually been intimate with his boyfriend. You've tried for years to try and forget that day, that day that you'd poured your heart out to him about how you miss Brendan, you still love Brendan and will never forget Brendan. You'd slept with him, in the deli. You didn't fancy him, nothing of the sort, you just craved to be held. You didn't know then that Brendan would return to you a mere few months later and do that himself.
It's been amazing having him back with you for last three years of your life, you wouldn't change anything for the word. You've mostly spent Christmas' with your kids, or over in Ireland, but 2017 seems to be the year of holidays and most of your family are fucking jetting off over the world. Danny and John Paul are the only ones not. Great. Fantastic.
"What you doing?" Brendan asks, sleepily, eyeing the presents under the tree - the presents you'll have to give to your sisters when Sam let's you be within a foot of them. She speaks to you when it's needed, but if she can help it, she pretends that you don't exist. Sam's never got over the fact that you knew what her husband and "that McQueen" were doing behind her back. She doesn't realise you disapproved and tried to stop it going further; over the years though you've learnt how stubborn your Dad is - you're exactly the same. If he loves someone, then he can't let them go. You can see how much they love each other now. You still hate John Paul though.
"Cooking the turkey ain't I?" You said, as if it was obvious; what with it being the 25th December and all.
"Ain't you supposed to do that on Christmas eve, Steven?"
"I'm finding an excuse for them not to come." You mutter under your breath, not wanting Brendan to hear, yet he does.
"Come back to bed, I cooked it mostly yesterday."
You raise your eyebrow at that. Brendan hasn't been the cook of the house since you've reunited; you could actually count on one hand how many times he'd wined and dined you. You'd both much rather go out to a flashy restaurant than slave by the stove, now Brendan wasn't ashamed to be seen with you, you made the most of the public displays of affection.
You take his hand, and oblige his wish for you to join him in the bedroom.
You don't see anything other than the ceiling for an hour, until you hear the knock of the door.
"Um... Dad.. you're early..." You say, hiding behind the door, slightly ashamed that all you have on is your boxer shorts and your hair looks like you've been dragged through a hedge.
"Thought I'd maybe come and help you prepare the food, I bought wine." Your dad smiles at the half of your head he can see, waving the wine in the air. "Unless your busy?"
"No..no.. we're not busy. Course we're not busy are we Brendan?" You stutter, looking at Brendan behind your shoulder. He laughs, knows full well you haven't finished what you'd started. He loves embarrassing you.
"Come in Daniel. Me and Steven are no where near ready yet, I've been helping him prepare for the night ahead. In more ways than one."
"Shut up..." You glare at your boyfriend, opening the door further for your Dad to pass through and grabbing Brendan by the hand and walking towards the bedroom.
John Paul wolf-whistles as he walks in too, eyeing up your backside.
You still hate him.
Brendan doesn't know that you spent that night with John- Paul, and you're shit scared that it's going to come out tonight. Whenever you and Brendan had been in the same room as Danny and JP, it had been big gatherings, one's where you could easily divert Brendan's attention and introduce him to another member of your family he hadn't heard of, to keep then from being alone. But now, in your shared house, just the four of you, you just know that JP is going to wind you up tonight, until you crack and the whole truth will be revealed. Your Dad knows, he knew way back, yet he didn't really have a leg to stand on; he was cheating on his wife, and he didn't even have the guts to tell her that he wanted to be in a relationship with a guy. Deep down, you're scared what Brendan is going to say. You'd both shagged the same lad. A McQueen and all.
Brendan grabs your attention again, when he strips off to get changed.
"Steven face the other direction or I'm going to have to take you against that wall with your Dad and his boyfriend listening. Is that what you want?"
"Ere I'm quiet me!" You protest, biting your bottom lip. You know you're far from it.
"Come on I'm hungry." Brendan giggles, actually giggles.
"I've fed you already today!" You laugh, you don't understand how he still looks fit, not an once of muscle on it.
Brendan giggles again, and you know what he's thinking instantly. "I'm talking about food Bren right, stop being a fucking dirty git.
The food was served and everyone had eaten it all. John Paul made snide comments throughout about how he'd never have thought that the teenage-chav Ste Hay would somehow serve up a luxury Christmas Dinner. Brendan nudged his knee against you, seen as you hadn't shown your gratitude.
"Thanks." You'd mumbled, not even looking him in the eye.
"Ah you've said thanks in your own little way mate...all...those...years...ago." He'd hummed.
"JP..." Danny warned. "Not here."
"What's he talking about?" Brendan asked, he didn't seem mad, just intrigued. "Steven what's he talking about?"
"We're going." Danny said, grabbing John Paul's hand and kissing you on the cheek. You hadn't moved, stuck in your seat, not looking up from your plate. "Bye" you'd muttered.
You'd heard the door shut, and then you'd felt Brendan's presence beside you, causing you to break down into tears.
"Steven." Brendan said, before repeating himself and lifting your head up so that he was facing you. "Steven don't cry. What's happened?" He softened, obviously sensing you were about to say something that might change your world.
"I'm so sorry Brendan."
"Tell me what's wrong."
"I'm so sorry." You'd cried, grabbing onto the front of Brendan's shirt and nuzzling yourself into his chest, weeping and weeping. He'd touched your head then, running his fingers through your hair like he usually did when you were upset, which had been a fair few times in the recent years.
"Steven have you... did you..."
"We wasn't together Brendan right!" You shot up, looking him in the eye, yet not letting go of his shirt, almost scared that he was just going to walk out of the house, and leave you again like all of those years ago. "I love you so much and I was telling him and then it just.. it just happened okay. But I didn't feel anything Brendan. It just happened. It just happened and I don't know why. Please don't leave me! Please don't go!"
"I ain't going anywhere. After all... I can hardly get mad when... when..." Brendan didn't really know how to finish his sentence.
"Dublin?" You'd queried, Brendan nodded.
"He ain't all that is he?" Brendan asked, smiling at you. "We know now, that all we want is each other yeah? So now that they've gone, how about you pop on that Santa Hat and let's have some fun."
He always made you feel better. It's what Brendan was best at. It was true, you knew you'd never be with anybody else. This was it for you now, and now that you had no more secrets, you could continue with your life, and spend the next 50...60 Christmas' together.
Just like it should be.
Sorry that ending was shit.
Happy Birthday Sam :) xx