Chapter One: That Was It
That was it. He had finally snapped. Two hours ago Sasori hit me, and for the first time I think ever in my life I remembered I was a man with a set of balls.
I drew my hand back, balled it into a fist and hit him. I hit him hard darkening his eye. Then that was it. He said one sentence to me that just… I can't explain it to you right now. Maybe when this is done you'll understand why that one sentence made me gather my things and leave him.
Tonight, for the first time in a while, I cried. My cheek stings with the imprint of his hand.
Thursday January 8th 3a.m. –Day One-
Like I said, two hours ago Sasori smacked my face. To be honest I don't even remember what we were fighting about…I can't write this right now I'm sorry.
Thursday January 8th 5a.m. –Day One-
I can't sleep. Everyday for the passed ten years I have laid with him. Threw anything I always tried to make sure he was okay. This idea that I packed my shit and walked out the door when he was at work…well I don't know. I cant stop crying. I just wanna go home. I don't think my parents want me to come back though so…um, I'm just gonna get wasted and try to sleep.
Saturday January 10th 7p.m.-Day Three-
I actually got to surf today. I love surfing. Sasori is afraid of water though. He used to tell me that I would get melanoma if I stayed out to long cause my skin is fair. I don't know what that is but he said I don't want it.
Sunday January 11th 3p.m.-Day Four-
Deidara pulled the still wet and cold swim trunks over his slightly sore hips. He went running yesterday and, kind of just forgot everything and kept running. Leaving his thighs and hips in a slightly over used state.
The changing room he stood in was ugly yellow. He never noticed the color before. The other man that should have been in this room participating in the giggling game that would end with Deidara pinned to the wall with kisses and tickles was not here.
Why did he miss Sasori so much? Three people asked him that and he honestly could not reply. Sasori used him, was mean to him and mistreated him. Most people saw it that way. Deidara was the only person who knew Sasori and the demons he had.
Sasori had never once told Deidara he loved him. He very rarely showed it in private. ALWAYS in private.
When he gave Sasori up Itachi was in Florida where he was going to stay for the next three weeks, Kisame obviously at his side. Deidara had never seen a love like that. No man could EVER" top" Itachi. Many tried and eventually after many MANY failed attempts one succeeded.
Itachi was Kisame's baby. Trust Deidara, fucking with Itachi was not worth facing Kisame's rage. Deidara seen Kisame angry out of love for him once and it Europe they called it the dark ages.
Looking in the mirror Deidara slowly spun around to look over his back at the words "Art Is Forever" Tattooed on his shoulder. Sasori did it himself.
It was then Deidara closed his eyes to think about how nurturing Sasori could be. Never once did he put Deidara in any physical pain. He was always gentle with him.
Sasori laid Deidara down on the couch when he put the words on his back.
The closest Sasori ever came to telling Deidara the truth…Was when he spoke these words to him. He told Deidara art was forever, and then proceeded to tell Deidara that he was his art. For this reason the tattoo was made.
Deidara subconsciously dug his nails into his shoulder as if Sasori could feel it.
"Why would you do this to me" He silently whimpered "Why would you put that there if you didn't mean-"
"Deiiiiiiidaraaaaa! ,Hey you in there"
"…I'm…IM IN THE LAST ONE!"
"Alright." The flipping of sandals sounded on the floor. They grew closer and closer to where he was.
"Kakashi, how did you know I was here?" Deidara asked at the sound of Kakashi's voice
"Seen your car."
Deidara reached up to undo the lock. Taking a quick look at his self first he pulled the lock up and looked out side the cracked door into the rather disgusting hallway.
Kakashi was walking toward the last stall with that smile of his. He had perfect teeth. Deidara always found himself noticing the little things about Kakashi, like the way his butt swished when he walked away. Or how when he was confused heed chew on his bottom lip reminding Deidara of a cute little…six foot Kuala. Deidara knew he was not gay but its okay to look yeah? Besides it might cheer him up, and Kakashi was proud. Not rude like you might think, He loved himself and was the nicest guy Deidara knew. Or that's what he let people see.
He honestly didn't care about others opinions, while heed sit quietly in the park reading those star trek comics he was so infamous for.
Another thing Deidara liked about Kakashi was his abstinence. Kakashi refused any type of sexual relationship with someone he wasn't in love with. He was just that type of guy. He was a touchy feely person and had enough confidence to cuddle with a man and not feel ashamed.
Deidara subconsciously looked at Kakashi's stomach muscles. They barley showed but his smile… that epic smile made up for it.
"What are you doing here?" Kakashi asked stopping in front of Deidara, sweat glistening on his forehead and back.
"I was going to swim." Deidara lied.
"Really,Saso-"
"Is gone, don't say his name." Deidara stopped kakashi.
"…What?" Kakashi put his hand over his chest and squeezed the opposite shoulder. Stretching his neck , showing some kind of discomfort.
"What happened to your shoulder?" Deidara asked side tracked.
"Surfing , hit the water hard , nothing to worry about, now what do you mean gone, eh?" Kakashi asked back on topic.
"I don't want to talk about it. I left, that's it, okay."
"Yeah…okay." Kakashi looked confused but pretended it didn't bother him.
The last thing Deidara wanted was to break down in front of this man. He still had some sort of dignity with Kakashi.
"Hey nice shorts." Kakashi pointed out trying to change the topic.
Deidara looked down at Kakashi's." shorts which we the same as his"Oh"
"Great minds think alike….so hey…where are you staying?"
"I um…"Deidara couldn't think of another lie fast enough.
"In your car." Kakashi input, staring at Deidara.
" No I-"
"Came here to take a shower." Kakashi then directed his gaze into the stall at a brown bag of shampoos and soap.
"You don't miss anything do you."
"No, not when my friends need help." Kakashi added sadistically.
Deidara looked down ashamed"…I couldn't stay there."
" Then why didn't you come tell me." Kakashi leaned agents the wall crossing his arms "Iv told you a thousand times I have six spare rooms…seven…possible eight, I don't even go in the left wing anymore."
"I don't know." Deidara shrugged. His voice started to crack. Deidara blinked repeatedly, trying to keep it back but he couldn't stop himself. His lip quivered and a single tear ran down his cheek.
"Come here." Kakashi reached out and grabbed Deidara by the forearm pulling him into a hug.
Kakashi being much taller than Deidara, looked down at the top of his head.
A few people walking by questioned the scene of two half naked men holding each other in a changing room. Kakashi glared at them.-needed some humor-
" I know you don't want to hear this Deidara but you know you can do waaaaay better…riiiight?"
"Yeah." Deidara sniffled, nodding into Kakashi's chest.
"Hey." Kakashi pushed Deidara away gently and with his left hand wrapped his thumb and forefinger around Deidara's chin, pulling his face up. "You want some chocolate?"
Deidara nodded childlike
"Lets go get some chocolate." Kakashi draped his arm around Deidara's shoulders "Ya know…My friend L is here, your little brothers sponsor, anyway he could make you forget about that fire crotch"
"You know something, its actually not red its-"
"Spare me, young one." Kakashi quickly added
They both started walking
"…Wait, his name is L?"
"Well its actually Lawliet, but it was some nickname he picked up in high school."
"Soooo, what's he like?" Deidara nudged
"He's a little shorter then me, spiky black porcupine hair, ummm, well definitely weird. A little OCD, but none the less sexually attractive."
"What?" Deidara stopped.
"I'm finding a gayer side to myself."
"What?!"
"Kidding Deidara."
"Sure you don't want to experiment?" Deidara smiled.
"Maybe on the morrow." Kakashi smiled which made Deidara smile wider.
"That's better." Kakashi noted walking outside into the sunlight .
"Speaking of which, they found out what was wrong with your brothers eyes."
"Yeah, what's wrong with them?" Deidara asked, stepping outside as well.
" The albinism caused a condition called Nystagmus. He just needs eye drops twice a day."
"Ny…stagmus" Deidara asked confused.
" You know how his irises will randomly shake, and his pupils randomly change sizes."
"Yeah."
"Well apparently that's not supposed to happen." Kakashi finished.
"Ah…well its good they know that now I guess."
"Hey…you hungry?"
"YES!" Deidara snapped jumping at Kakashi.
"Whoa killer…..lets go eat chocolate…and burgers…yeah burgers."
"I don't have any mon-"
Kakashi quickly clamped his hand over Deidara's mouth.
"Silence knave, for they arrre here."
Sunday January 11th 3:30p.m.-Day Four-
Kakashi watched Deidara feverishly shovel food down his face. Not stopping to breath, he then choked down some lemonade. People from the other beach picnic tables looked strangely at them.
"You know there's no where I can go with you with out being ridiculed."
"You get used to it-GLOMP!"
"Deidara…when was the last time you ate?" Kakashi questioned.
Deidara shrugged and forced French fries in his mouth, burger gone.
"How…nostalgic" Kakashi, not yet touching his meal, pushed his burger toward Deidara.
Deidara stopped and nodded toward Kakashi as if asking permission.
Kakashi nodded back and Deidara launched for the burger. Kakashi withdrew his hand as if Deidara would confuse it for food.
"Oh hey man…Deidara…Deidara." Kakashi tried.
"Humph."
"How ironic…this is L..."
Deidara looked up at the correct porcupine hair, insomnia ridden eyes and just then did Deidara realize… a pickle from the feast hung between his lips…trying to hide it he slurped it up, continuing to study the anomaly in front of him.
Deidara gazed from the cloth shirt, down to his tacky jeans and bare feet.
"Hi." Deidara spoke in a voice slightly higher then he hoped for.
"Evening." L climbed over next to Kakashi, Crouching on the picnic table bench.
Then it was quiet…strangely quiet…Even the volleyball game in the background seemed to fade away.
"L…this is Deidara." Kakashi stated awkwardly.
"The music one?" L asked.
"Yes…he likes music…hey I'm-" Kakashi was interrupted by the busy ringing of his phone which was all but foreign. God if Kakashi ever got any sleep it seemed as though the world would end.
Kakashi reached for his phone tucked in his shorts pocket. Looking at the name he stood up climbing out from the picnic table bench" It's important, sorry." Kakashi apologetically waved, answering it in Japanese. (WOOOT!*HAWT)-twitch-
Deidara looked at Kakashi's retreated form then turned to L, who was currently trying to catch one of those fuzzy, flying, pollen, things, however it swiftly dodged his hand countless times before he gave up and shrugged.
L looked up, speaking almost in silence "Favorite color?"
"Yellow." Deidara answered.
"Grey." L spoke again.
"Favorite food?" Deidara asked.
"Cake."
"Chocolate ice cream." Deidara smiled.
"Wise young man." L whispered.
"Mmm."
"Favorite song?" L started again.
"Swing."
"Fur Elise."
"Beethoven?"
"I'm impressed you know that…oh wait….your the music one." L scratched his chin.
"Hobbies?" Deidara asked.
"Sudoku, rubrics cubes, dice, cards, crosswords, puzzles, calculus, astronomy, matches…"
"…Weird" Deidara mumbled raising an eyebrow "I like guitar, and TV…and eating, ooh and drawing and painting and hot chicks and Singing and most of all…EXPLOSIONS!"
"I can only imagine the kind of porn you watch." L mumbled.
"What?" Deidara jumped, not sure about what he said.
"What?" L acted confused _-HOT-_ "So hot chicks?"
"Hot dudes." Deidara tested.
"Hot people." L feverishly dug into his pocket, pulling out two quarters and looking at a gumball machine. "Some?"
"Some what?"
"Gum?"
"…Okay."
"Hottest chick ever?" L asked climbing out of the bench and walking to the gumball machine. It was only a few steps away.
"Pam Anderson." Deidara smiled eccentrically.
"…Tila." L thought for a moment before answering.
"Yeah…she's really hot." Deidara stated, thinking to himself a moment, watching L put the quarter in the slot and twist the handle. "Hottest guy?"
"Johnny Depp."
"Seriously!"
"He's an attractive..." L reached down to the slot removing a pink gum ball and handing it to Deidara.
Deidara reached out and took it with a small thank you that L didn't respond to.
In the background kakashi started yelling at someone.
"Do you know who he's talking to." Deidara asked.
"His mother." L inaudibly alleged.
"Wait…how do you know that?" Deidara asked confused.
"When he yells at anyone else, he keeps yelling…with his mum… he paces, then apologizes even though she's wrong…see the way he's biting his nail, he's feels bad for arguing…wait for it…wait for it."
"Yeah mom…sorry." Kakashi added.
"How did you know that?"
"When he yells at anyone else, he keeps yelling…with his mum… he paces, then apologizes even though she's wrong."
"Wait…that's the same answer." Deidara stated.
"You asked the same question."
"…Yeah…I guess I did." Deidara smiled studying L as he again added a quarter to the machine. "Favorite noodles?"
"Twisted." L mumbled once more twisting the knob.
"Shells."
"Sorry bout leaving." Kakashi walked back to the table climbing in.
"He prefers shells to twisted."
"What?" Kakashi made a confused face.
"Noodles." Deidara answered.
"The first time…you two were alone, you talked about noodles?"
"Imagine that." L glared at another pink gum ball, holding in the light as if it were a lie.
"Oh yeah…Kakashi, I remember why I came here." L started.
"Yeah?" Kakashi asked.
"There's this thing at the hospital tomorrow night, a blood drive. Come donate with me Kakashi…You should to…music one." He finished.
"I don't like needles." Deidara spoke.
"Where you in a coma for "art is everything" cause those are needles you know."
"Its important to have…" Deidara looked down.
"You get cookies." L added.
"Kay ill come." Deidara jumped.
"Kakashi?" L looked at him.
"Yeah…alright…only for the leukemia kids."
Sunday January 11th 11p.m.-Day Four-]
Today I met L. I mean Lawliett. He's really different would be the nice way to put it. I know I sound giddy but I can't wait to see him tomorrow. Any who Ima go to bed now. Oh yeah I'm staying in Kakashi's…mansion. Its sooo big. He has an entrance hall the size of a high School gym. Well…goodnight.