A short vignette of thoughts about religion and the world in which the knights and Arthur live in, as through the eyes and perspective of Lancelot.
Religious Anguish.
What are we, if not mere playthings of God?
As knights, we swear allegiance to our King and to our people, and as is our duty, we spill the blood of enemy sons in order to save the blood of our own. What must our lives look like from up high? What must we look like in the great scheme of things?
It is my guess that we are ants scurrying through the grand tapestry of the earth, a tapestry stained scarlet with the spilt blood of sons and daughters. And as, like mere ants, we constantly struggle to survive, killing one another for the right to live, does God watch from afar, a wry smile upon his face as he indulges in the sight of just how much damage his creation can inflict on itself? For I believe that if God does truly exist, he is neither kind nor compassionate in any way towards his creation – how could I believe anything else, when I have seen such bloodshed and human hatred? I have seen my brothers – men I have known and fought with since I was less than fourteen summers old – die horribly and painfully beside me, whilst I have continued to fight for both their freedom and my own.
What is freedom?
Is it the right to escape the wrath of God, so that we are able to choose our own fates, fates that may perhaps see us die somewhere else other than a bloodied battlefield?
Or is it perhaps, an illusion of the mind?
Perhaps there is no freedom, as in the way that we perceive it… perhaps the idea of freedom, is merely a trick the mind plays to keep us from kneeling down amongst enemies, and shedding tears of hopelessness to a God who will not listen…
Arthur believes so deeply in a loving God: a higher being that will protect him from all dangers, and deliver him from the face of evil, but I cannot understand his faith. He has seen more death than any of us, and still he does not waver in his belief. But then, I do not waver in mine either. How different our beliefs, Arthur's and mine, yet united for a common goal, and bound tightly by the intricate webs of friendship and brotherly love, webs that can only be spun when two or more men face battles such as we have, together.
What are we, but mere playthings, mere ants of God?
We are knights… we are bound together in love and courage, for the pursuit of freedom, whatever freedom may be. And as mere playthings of God, in whom our leader's trust does so often lie, we will continue to fight, continue to die and continue to live in the scarlet stained tapestry that is our destiny.
So, this is my first King Arthur fic, so please excuse it for it's lack of brilliance or other literary merits... lol
But feedback is really appreciated - i want to write at least one vignette for each knight, and perhaps Guinevere and a few others as well...
With thanks and much love,
Ash xx