Severus and His Christmas Eve
The castle was done up in a festive array of green boughs, holly ivy and mistletoe. The Christmas trees decorating the great hall were festooned with gaily-colored baubles, icicles and candles, streamers and magical snow that fell gently from the ceiling. There were carolers going around singing the songs of good cheer and happiness, of course many of the songs were sung by groups of ghosts gliding down corridors and through walls, It was enough to make Professor Snape take refugee as much as possible in his dungeon quarters.
"Oh no you don't Severus. You are not going to sneak out on this years Christmas celebrations" Albus told the surly Potions Master who was standing with his arms crossed and a sullen look firmly plastered across his face. "You should lighten up, it is the time of good cheer and fellowship after all."
"Headmaster, I see no reason to ruin your happy little get together with our colleagues with someone they only tolerate because of you." explained Severus in a cold unfeeling tone. "I would rather not but if I am ordered to go..."
Albus sighed as he looked at the stubborn expression on the tall thin man's face. "Oh Severus, if only you would try to be friendly, I'm sure you would enjoy it." The only answer he got was a raised eyebrow and a look of utter disgust. "Think it over, please."
"Hmmmf," was all Albus heard as his youngest colleague turned and stalked off with his long and purposeful stride and his trademark billowing cape.
Severus was not in a very happy mood in fact you could say he was very surly. If you thought a little of the magic of Christmas and all that entails according to Dumbledore was going to get under Severus's defenses, you would be dead wrong. He hated the very concept of the holiday as he had never experienced the love and joy associated with humanity, only the hatred and abuse that mankind was capable of heaping upon one another at most times of the year. He had learned at a very young age that he was selected to be one of life's rejects, unloved and despised.
Severus snapped the password for his personal quarters to the portrait that guarded it. The man in the portrait sighed, as he swung open to let Severus step in. Even among the portraits in Hogwarts, Severus's opinion of the joyous time of year was known.
Severus glared around at his meagerly decorated room. It was just the bare essentials along with his collection of potion ingredients and periodicals that he took in to keep aware of any advances in his world as Potions Master. His head bent in thought as he sat down in his chair, the one luxury in the room. High backed and stern looking as he was, but it was comfortable. He flicked his wand towards the cold fireplace and a small fire blazed up to cast a little light and a little warmth into the chilly atmosphere.
He brooded as he sat staring at the fire, not really observing anything. A squeaky voice belonging to one of he house elves disturbed his train of thought. The small creature was nervous as he delivered his message.
"Please sir, the Headmaster requested for me to remind you of the evenings celebration"
Severus's eyebrow rose as he asked frostily. "And what part of no does he not understand? Leave me alone and let me get through this day without having to listen to foolish ramblings and false gaiety."
The little Elf had a very moist sad expression in his large bulbous eyes as he nodded and with a crack disappeared before Severus could say anything more hateful.
"Confound that meddling old fool, can't he leave me alone at least one night of the year?' grumbled Severus as he picked up a book that laid beside the chair.
The bloody baron appeared and quietly floated near the morose wizard and watched him gravely for a few minutes till Severus looked up at him in annoyance. "WHAT."
"I do not wish to interfere, but it is not good to sit alone and allow your depression to take over what could be a memorable time for you."
"I'm not depressed, I just don't wish to have everyone else rub my face in their frivolous gaiety and foolish antics while celebrating what they keep telling me is peace on Earth and goodwill toward men. I do not wish to listen to such tripe in my life." Severus snapped at the bloody ghost who hovered nearby.
"My boy, I know you do not want to mingle with your colleagues who, though you may not believe it , do have a soft spot for you even with your cranky, snarly and downright offensive nature."
Severus glowered at him. "Oh sure, and I am supposed to believe that. There may even be some love there."
"Be as it may, Severus you should at least try to reach out and find that humanity within you before it is too late and death takes you."
"And here is something wrong with that?" asked Severus, "Even Dumbledore calls Death the next great adventure. "
"It is, but only for those who have lived their lives to the fullest thoroughly enjoy the afterlife, those of us who refuse to do so, live an in-between life, knowing but unable to feel or enjoy the sensations of the living we crave and yet unable or afraid to move on to the other side behind the veil. "
Severus sat unyielding and unbending as the ghost tried his best to convince the wizard to reach out and join the festivities. He swore he felt no need to participate, He never had before and he was not prepared to do so now and make a fool of himself. The Bloody Baron shook his head in defeat and floated away through the wall leaving Severus alone.
His heart felt cold, beating in his chest, not warm like Dumbledore had told him it should feel like when one was loved and cherished. At that time Severus had smirked and a mask of indifference slipped over his features as he told the Headmaster that love was an illusion.
"The sun was past its zeinth and was starting to head back down towards the horizon before Seveus got up, he transfigured his robes into muggle style clothes and left his quarters, as he grabbed his cloak. He walked quickly outside and away from the castle, hoping that no one would notice him leaving and headed towards the gates where he paused to look around then disapparated away to Spinners End. He stood looking at the derelict house that was very dark and uninviting. He decided that he would rather not go inside but walked away down the snowy street.
He wondered why he bothered to leave his dungeon home and wander the mean streets of his childhood. He couldn't feel the laughter and joy that came with the season, He just felt empty and dead inside, even when greeted by strangers who wished him a merry Christmas as they rushed by completing their last minute shopping. 'Meaningless, that is what it is." he told himself as he continued to stride up and down the streets .
As he walked through the snow that fell, lightly dusting the streets, he looked up at the icicles that decorated the naked branches of the sleeping trees and the eves of the buildings , the dusk creeped up on him and in the homes surrounding him the twinkling christmas lights and decorations started to come on and shine brightly.
He observed children giggling and racing around excitedly, for that night Saint Nicholas was to arrive with gifts , their parents alternately laughing and scolding the rambunctious youngsters. One child stood out of the crowd that drew his notice especially, a small boy, dark haired, thin and poorly clad for the weather. He reminded Severus of his own bitter childhood as he stood wistfully watching the scurrying and happy people go by unheeding of his small shivering frame. The small boy noticed Severus and smiled at him with an innocence that Severus hadn't seen for years.
It was odd that nobody noticed or even bothered to speak to the child who was obviously alone, especially on Christmas Eve. The crowd just kept going by as if he was not there. "Just like his childhood, nobody cared to notice him either.
Severus sighed as he struggled against a very compelling feeling that he should go over and talk to the little boy, then sighed as he remembered that it was getting late and if he didn't disapperate now he would miss the festivities and Dumbledore would be on his case. Unconciously he put his hand in his pocket and realized he had a quanity of muggle money along with the coin of the wizarding world. He noticed a small diner directly in front of the small boy and made his decision. He glided over to the small boy and looked down without his usual scowl. He didn't feel it was necessary to intimidate the child.
"Care to join me for some hot chocolate." He asked gruffly as he motioned towards the diner that was still open with wonderful smells of Christmas cooking wafting out the door each time it opened.
The small boy smiled even wider and said he would love to and followed Severus into the diner where Severus and the boy sat at a booth near the window. He ordered two hot chocolates and looking at the bright-eyed boy sitting across from him ordered the Christmas special besides. The old lady taking the order gave Severus an odd look as she smiled and went to fill his order.
Severus felt strange as he sat there with the child, he wondered what Dumbledores reaction would be if he knew that Severus was enjoying having a simple Christmas meal with an urchin of the streets instead of joining in the festivities at Hogwarts.
The little boy spoke very little, yet he had managed by his simple presence to make Severus feel less depressed about the season. The lady came with Severus's order and set the meals down in front of them, then she left them to enjoy their meal. The child smiled happily at Severus, as he tucked into the plate full of food, his eyes twinkled with what seemed to be little stars, not unlike those of Albus Dumbledore.
Severus noticed that the proprietor was watching him with a very kind and oddly sad expression, as did the lady who served them. When he was done the man came over and inquired if the meal was sufficient. Severus looked up at him and told him it was fine, he looked over to the child to see how he liked his meal and the child was not there, the only evidence he had been there was the empty cup and plate.
"Where did he go?" asked Severus who couldn't believe that the boy was nowhere in sight.
The man grinned sadly and said. "He went home, now that he has finished what he had set out to do. We wont see him again till this time next year."
Severus looked stunned and asked, "What do you mean?"
The lady who was the man's wife moved the dishes away and then set another cup of hot chocolate in front of Severus along with one for her and her husband. They sat down in the booth across from Severus and explained.
"twenty-three years ago we were struggling to make ends meet, We had sunk our entire savings into this little diner and we worked hard to make ends meet. Our son was thrilled and enjoyed eating with our customers who came in especially to celebrate his birthday." The man paused as he choked on his words. His wife continued the narrative.
"He loved to pick one person to eat with every Christmas Eve. Not just anybody but someone he thought was a special kind of person. He still continues this tradition to this very day. Only one person will see him out of the many hundreds that will pass by, and they will feel a bond with him; as he will remind them of their own childhood. We have met many people over the years that we may have never met if it wasn't for him and we knew he chose you when you came in and ordered the two meals."
Severus was to say the least flabbergasted as he listened to The old couple. The Child was so real, and the food was eaten and the Hot chocolate was drunk. Ghosts don't eat and drink, they couldn't...could they? He wondered if he was hallucinating or if the couple was just stringing him a line.
The man produced a picture of the boy, standing by a man and woman. The couple in the picture was obviously the man and woman who looked at him with a air of genuine interest and friendliness.
"Our son was nine years old when he came down seriously ill and died suddenly on his birthday." The man gazed out the window for a second; then turned back towards Severus. "Tonight he would have been twenty-eight years of age. This is the one night in the year he is able to come visit and continue a tradition he started when he was five years old."
Severus and the old couple talked for several hours over several cups of hot chocolate before he finally got up and thanking them for a very unusual but pleasant Christmas Eve like he had never had before, he left the diner.
He walked for a while thinking about fate and how amazing the night had become when his steps led him down towards the bridge that spanned the great River. He walked swiftly to the middle. He heard the bells of the muggle churches ringing in joyous celebration of the season through the crisp air, and listened as he observed the twinkling stars above in the inky black sky above. After a while he Apparated back to the gates of Hogwarts . He went through to the grounds and walked swiftly to the castle.
He met up with Dumbledore and McGonagall. "Dumbledore looked at him sadly and remarked "Another lonely Christmas Eve by yourself, eh' Severus? You should have come to the Great Hall and and joined in on the festivities."
Severus smirked and said cheerfully, No Albus, I was not lonely, I have had a very enjoyable and interesting Christmas Eve celebration." with that said he swept by them and headed back down to his Dungeon home.