The War Between Love & Abuse

Chapter one- Reality

            I know I wasn't supposed to see it. But I did. And after it happened, after I saw that trickle of blood on her lip, I knew my life was never going to be the same. Nothing was ever going to be the same again.

            "Where the hell did you think you were going to go?"

His only response was silence.

            "Answer me god dam it!"

            "I don't know" she replied quietly.

            "You don't know? The hell you don't know!" he yelled

            "I'm sorry," she whispered faintly.

            "Not as sorry as you're going to be when I'm finished with you, young lady"

He walked over to her angrily and grabbed her by the arm and began to drag her roughly out of the ally.

            "Ow! That hurts, stop!!!"

He stopped abruptly, turned around, and smacked her right in the face. The sound echoed throughout the alleyway they were standing in.

            "Don't you ever tell me what to do, ya hear? Ever!" he replied vehemently, spittle flying from his mouth.

The girl winced and gave a meek nod.

            "By the time I'm through with you, you'll be lucky if you're able to sit down in a week."

Her eyes fell to the ground, suddenly interested in the tip of her shoe protruding underneath her wide pant legs.

            "Look at me when I talk to you"

He wrenched her chin up to meet his eyes, and snarled at her.

            "Things are going to change around here, starting now"

But her mind drifted, her eyes focused on the background behind him. Another smack to the face sent her to the ground. A metallic taste filled her mouth…blood. He hastily pulled her to her feet and dragged her down the alley towards the street. That's when she saw them…the eyes. How long had they been watching? Oh god she said inwardly. If she knew who it was she'd apologize for this. Maybe it was some homeless person. She could come back later with food, and maybe get a chance to apologize. If she ever would be able to

            He watched quietly from his perch on the fire escape outside her bedroom window. The man had chained her to the bed and had locked the door to the equally bare room. He snorted with disgust. How could anyone live like this? His eyes fell back onto the still form curled on the bed. She hadn't moved since the man had thrown her there. But he could see her shake from the silent sobs that raked through her body. After awhile he turned away, disgusted. It was getting late. He needed to get home before anyone started to worry. Tomorrow evening he would come back to check on her. As silently as he came, he left and melted into the darkness.

            When she finally woke up, she wished that she hadn't. A blinding pain hit her full force. She could already tell that her jaw was swollen and bruised. She didn't even want to know what her lip looked like. The salty metallic taste still lingered on her tongue. God, she needed to get out of here. With a groan she pulled herself up into a sitting position on the hard bed. How long had she been out? God she needed a watch. Damn!! Her job! Marty was going to be pissed! As she began to scramble off the bed, she noticed the chains that bound her to the foot of the bed.

            "Aw man, Marty is going to kill me!"

            "Who's Marty?"

The sudden voice made her jump, leaving her hanging partially from the bed. The voice's owner pulled her back up with a quick jerk of a chain. She looked around, wondering where the person went. When she saw no one she started shaking her head.

            "Dad really knocked me good, I'm starting to hallucinate."

            "No, you're not, I'm real. I, uh, just don't want you to see me."

            "Are you going to kill me? I really hope you do. It would be a ticket outta this hellhole."

He blinked in surprise. He never met anyone who wished for his or her own death before. This girl was very interesting and, at the same time, dangerous. Dangerous? Where had that come from? Get a grip Leo; she's a girl in need of some help. She could hardly hurt anyone. Or could she? He shook his head and looked back over at her. It was the first time he got a really good look at her. And what he saw both enraged and confused him. Enraged because he saw the pain in her eyes and confused because he became lost in her eyes.

            "Are you still there?"

            "Yes. Why do you ask?"

            "I, uh, don't want you to leave."

            "Why?"

Silence met his ears, and he watched as a tear escaped her eye.

            "Umm…because, I…I don't want to be alone. You're comforting."

Leo sucked in a sharp breath. This was too real. Then he realized that it was.

            "Well, I'll stay was long as I can."

            "You have to leave soon, don't you?"

            "Yea, you could say that. I have people who would worry if I didn't get home."

            "Must be nice."

            "What?"

            "People caring about you like that."

            "Oh…well umm…yea, it is."

Her only response was a small sigh. Something inside of his chest tightened. What was it?

            "So… do you have a name?"

            "Leonardo."

            "That's some fancy name."

            You can call me Leo if you want."

            "Ok…Leo. I like it."

She gave him a crooked grin. First time he had seen her smile. She looked bea- stop. This was not happening.

            "What's yours?"

            "Rain."

He blinked and felt his chest tighten a little more. Rain.

            "That's an…odd name."

So beautiful. A very beautiful name.

            "Yea well, my mom was kind of a hippie."

He saw the look of mourning in her dark eyes. They were so empty. Empty yet full of hurt and anger. Betrayal. Tighter. It was starting to get harder for him to breath.

            "I have to go."

            "Now?"

            "Yes, now."

            "Will I see you again?"

            "Yes."

            "Promise?"

He bit his tongue. Could he promise her that? Gods, how couldn't he?

            "Yes, I promise."

            "Hey, what time is it?"

            "11:30pm"

            "Crap, Marty is going to just kill me!"

            "Who's Marty?"

            "He's my boss. I work at that little pizza place down the block and around the corner. Ever been there before?"

            "Yes, plenty of times."

Too many times he thought to himself.

            "Maybe I'll see ya sometime."

            "Maybe."

            "G'night Leo"
            "Night Rain"

He watched as her rose-colored lips twitched into a small smile. Even they were pale with grief. His eyes became fixated with the cut on her lower lip. He could kill that man. He turned and slipped out of the cold room. Empty, everything was empty.

            The small child ran around the meadow, her long hair playfully thrown around in the wind. Her eyes were transfixed on a white butterfly. A giggle like the sound of wind chimes escaped from her rose-petal lips. So jubilant and full of life and wonder…then the image vanished, replaced with a frigid chill and a blackened room. Inside, curled in a corner, was the same girl. But she was older. All her warmth and luster were gone. She cried silently. Her tears formed miniature rivers of salt on her cheeks. Something ached. Her heart. It ached for love and compassion. But there was something new. It was a flicker of hope that wasn't there before. She lifted her face and reached out.

"Help Me," she whispered. Leo jerked awake, breathing hard. He pushed away the sweat soaked sheets.

            "Damn."

            The distant sound of a ringing phone brought her out of a deep slumber. Who was it? She strained to hear the short, muffled conversation.

            "No, she's been sick."

            "Yea, sick."

            "She'll be back into work in a week or so."

            "Yea, I'll tell her. Bye"

Heavy footsteps came towards her bedroom. The soft click of a lock falling out of place and the groan of the door opening woke her up completely. Her father's tired face came into view.

            "You're boss called."

            "What'd he want?"

            "Called to see where you were."

            "When can I go back to work?"

There was a pause. His brows pinched together in a brief moment of anger.

            "When I feel like you've learned a lesson. That's when."

The door slammed behind him, causing her to jerk from the sudden noise. She sighed deeply. When was this going to end? Her eyes fell to the chains around her wrists and ankles. The skin was already becoming raw. Damn.

            "Morning Leo."

He gave a grunt in response to Mike's cheeriness.

            "Whoa, what's with him?"

            "Couldn't tell you."

Mike glanced over at his brother. Don has his face hidden behind a newspaper. Typical.

            "Morning Raph."

Raphael gave the same grunt in response that Leo had. Man, they were more alike than they thought. Mike shook his head and turned back to the pile of pancakes sitting on the counter. Breakfast was ready.

            "Ok, who's hungry?"

He had barely set the plate down before greedy hands grabbed half the pile away. Guess everyone. Mike drenched his pancakes with syrup and tried to remember what it was he needed to tell his brothers. Let's see…

            "Hey did anyone have a dream about that girl last night?"

            "I did." Raph replied

            "Yea, same here. It was very confusing."

Leo remained silent. He hadn't ever dreamed of the girl. The others, they had been dreaming of her off and on for the past few years now. Splinter still didn't know what it meant. And it puzzled him that Leonardo still hadn't had the dreams.

            "What happened in the dream that confuses you, my son?"

Don turned to face Splinter, swallowing his mouthful before speaking.

            "Well, at first I saw this little girl running through this big meadow. Seemed like it could have been somewhere out near April's farm. She was chasing this little white butterfly and then it suddenly just faded and it was the same girl, only she was older, and she looked really lost, and afraid and…and…"

            "Empty." Raph finished for him.

            "Yea empty. Thanks Raph."

            "Not a problem."

            "Yea! And then she looked up and reached her hand out and whispered 'Help me'. It was very strange man."

They all nodded in agreement.

            "She had not done this before?"

           
            "No Sensei."

            "Hmm, most peculiar. Maybe something is happening with this child. It seems as years go by, your dreams become more cold, and needy."

That tightening feeling came back to Leo. He needed to get out of there.

            "Master Splinter, may I be excused please?"

Everyone looked over at the seemingly calm turtle. But Splinter sensed his son's distraught. He gave him a simple nod. Leo bowed his head respectfully and was gone.

            "Man, what is up with him? He's been acting really strange for the past couple days, dudes."

            "Yea, I know. It's not like him. It's like he's been distracted by something." Don added.

Raphael cleared his throat, causing everyone to look at him expectantly.

            "What I wasn't gonna say nothin'."

He gave an exasperated sigh and got up from the table. Mike and Don looked at each other and shrugged.

            "You two stay and clean up, then come join us in the dojo for morning practice."

            "Yes Master Splinter." They replied in usion.

With respectful bows, they went about their tasks.

            "Leo, what are you doing?! Leo! LEO!!"

Leonardo spun around in a half high round about kick and completely lost control of both his katanas. He watched in horror as one slammed into the wall and the other nearly missing Raphael. At the same time he lost his footing and fell to the floor with a loud thunk. The only sound that could be heard in the dojo was Leo's labored breathing. What was wrong with him? He closed his eyes tightly and only saw her face, her bruised face.

            "Leo I want to speak with you now."

Splinter's voice was boarding on anger. But his eyes held a glint of concern. Leo stood up slowly, bowed, and left the dojo. His brother's were still standing there with their mouths still gaping from the shock. Splinter turned to them and clapped his hands sharply.

            "Continue on with your practice."

            "Yes Master Splinter." Michelangelo and Donatello replied.

Raph just grunted and went over to the wall and yanked Leo's katana out.

            "God what is wrong with him!? He's never fucked up like that! Never!"

He heaved his fists into the punching bag hanging in the corner.

            "Raph, calm down, there has to be a reason-."

            "No! I will not calm down! You wanna know what his reason is?"

            "Uh…do I?" Mike ventured.

            "I'll bet you anything he's been having dreams about that girl from day one. I bet you anything, and he probably knows something that we don't. And he's not going to tell us because 'its not safe, we shouldn't get involved.'"

Raphael had a nasty tone to his voice as he quoted one of the many well know thoughts that Leo voiced on a regular basis. Don and Mike exchanged glances. Raph was right.

            Splinter settled into the large pillow across from where his son sat silently. Leonardo had his head bowed low, and his face hidden in his hands.

            "Something is troubling you, is it not?"

Leo slowly pulled his hands away from his face and looked up at Splinter. He nodded silently.

            "And what is troubling you, my son?"

            "The girl."

His voice was barely above a whisper. He felt ashamed for denying the dreams that he had been having for so long.

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Chapter two- seeing for the first time

            Rain idly tugged at the chains that bound her to hell. When was she ever going to get out of here? And would that Leo guy ever come back to talk to her? Or did he just abandon her like all the rest? God, would she ever have any answers in her life? No, knowing her luck. With a sigh she lay back down and started to trace the all too familiar cracks on her ceiling with her eyes. Oh boy, she was bored out of her mind. She wondered how long she had been locked up for. It seemed like years ago that Leo had been in her room. A tight feeling grew in her chest when she thought of him. Where was he anyways?

            "I wish he would come back", she said softly to herself.

            "Wish who would come back?"

            "LEO! Oh my God is that you?"

Leo couldn't help but smile. Seeing her this excited really made him feel…how did it make him feel?

            "Yea, its me, did you miss me at all?"

            "Did I ever! God where have you been?"

            "Umm, been around. So, how are you doing?"

Rain looked down at her sore wrists and ankles. Lets see, how was she?

            "I'm bored out of my mind! But other than that, just peachy."

She gave a small empty chuckle. It broke his heart to see anyone in pain like that. Especially her. Damn, where had that come from? He started to take a step towards her then thought better of it. No sense in scaring her to death. He watched her peer into the darkness eagerly. He felt his chest tighten with a bit of guilt.

            "Why can't I see you Leo?"

He had hoped she wouldn't ask that question. But it was inevitable wasn't it?

            "I, uh, just don't…I'm not really good to look at."

He mentally kicked himself in the ass for that. Could he have possibly come up with a lamer excuse? He watched as her nose crinkled in a bit of distaste.

            "C'mon, probably a lot better looking than me."

Gods no, she was more beautiful than a setting sun. Did he just think that? Leo, stop this. You can't become emotionally attached. But he longed to.

            "No, I'm really not."

            "Please?"

Her pouting lips pulled at every one of his heartstrings. How could he resist? He couldn't. Slowly he took a step from the shadows and came into view at the foot of her bed.

Rain
            The first thing I ever saw when my eyes fell upon him was his eyes. Those beautiful crystal blue eyes. Piercing, unreadable, dignified, and…lonely? I became lost in them. I think I made him a bit uncomfortable because he cleared his throat with a quaint politeness. I blinked several times and remembered to breath. My eyes continued to roam down his body. His arms where huge! In fact his whole body just seemed like one huge muscle. But of course it wasn't. Every part of his body was well defined, the way the muscles were flexed, how he had the ability to walk soundlessly. It was amazing. What intrigued me the most though, were his hands and feet and his back. His hands only had three fingers and his feet with only two large toes. His back wasn't even a back it was a shell. How odd, but in some very different way, handsome. He had a very handsome face. Charming. Was that the word I was grasping for? I wasn't sure. I watched him as he made his way to the side of my bed and take a seat on the edge of it. His eyes never left my face, which was comforting. I wondered what he was thinking. He probably thought I was being freakish. Sitting here and gawking at him like this. But was just so amazing to look at. I couldn't take my eyes off him. Those eyes, his eyes, shameless to the core. His hands weathered and calloused from years of use of his strength. Those strong arms that, if curled in, could make you feel safe from death itself. All of him was absolutely beautiful. I finally looked back up in his face and was surprised to see a soft glow in his eyes. He seemed to be taken aback. Wonder why?

Leo

            She just stared at me. Her dark eyes soaking up every detail of my body. It made me feel slightly uncomfortable at first, but after awhile I became used to it. She had immediately become fascinated with my eyes. Or so it seemed. She sat there and looked into them for what seemed like an eternity. Could she tell that I was blushing madly? No, too dark. Two things bewildered me. One, she wasn't terrified of me. And two, she was smiling. A real, and perfect smile. The first time I ever saw purity in her. Not that she wasn't pure, but…oh gods never mind. I walked over to the side of her bed and took a seat next to her. We both sat there quietly for a bit. Neither one of us wanting to speak. Just watch each other. Both being comforted by each other's presence. I took this opportunity to get a better look at her. Now that I was closer, I saw details I had missed in my dreams. Her eyes were a deep midnight blue. And if I looked closely I could see small flecks of sky blue mingling in the darkness of them. Beautiful. Everything about her was beautiful. Her small, slender hands. Her long graceful arms a soft creamy color with a satiny feel. Lips the color and shape of a small rose bud. Her waist curving dangerously in a very seductive way. I longed to touch the softness of her. But I again restrained these feelings. They were something I shouldn't indulge in. But I was quickly losing the battle. The one and only battle I have ever lost and loved losing. Her body was soft. She really didn't look defenseless at all. She was average in size. Not slender like April. She was slightly fuller. She was also the first to break the silence.

            "Why didn't you want me to see you?"

He blinked in surprise, not quite sure how to respond to her blatant question.

            "Uh…well, uhm…ah…"

            "Were you afraid?"

            "Well you see…"

            "Cause, if you were, you shouldn't have been. You're not bad to look at, at all. You're very wonderful to look at if you want to know the truth. And I'm sure you have heard this a bazillion times, but, I've never seen anyone quite like you before."

            "You think I'm wonderful to look at?"

A deep red rose into her cheeks. I felt my heart flutter.            

            "Uh, heh, yea."

Before I could stop myself, I reached out and grasped one of her chained hands. At first she tried to pull away, afraid as if I would hit her, but relaxed as I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. I could tell she was very confused and at the same time ecstatic. Just by how her eyes came to life. That very moment I touched her she came to life. And the tightening feeling in my chest exploded into pure ecstasy of the sheer knowledge of having that power.

            "Leo…"

            "Hmm?"

            "I don't want to be alone anymore."

Her voice broke and she fell into my arms crying. I frowned and did the only thing I could. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me.

            "Shh…shh…you don't have to be alone anymore. I'm here, it'll be ok."

But in my heart I knew it wouldn't be. And that, I believe, was the first time I ever felt real defeat.

Rain

            The moment he wrapped those powerful arms around me, was the moment my soul unlocked itself and opened up everything that had been hidden for so long. He held me close to him and told me I wasn't alone anymore and I believed him. I trusted him and I knew I could count on him. I hadn't even known him for more than a couple days, yet, I had complete trust in this man. It felt right. Did mother send him to me? Did she know how lonely I was? How unloved and neglected? Again more questions left unanswered. But one answer I did have was, there is someone out there who could love me. Ack! Love me? Leo? Maybe I meant cared for me. Ok, maybe I should just stop thinking about this. Right, I'm stopping. Leo could never love me. Could he? I sighed into his plastron and listened to his steady heartbeat. Then without warning, I felt him slowly begin to run his fingers in small circles in the middle of my back, which relaxed me and I soon, found myself feeling drowsy. I didn't want to fall asleep, but after letting all those pent up emotions out, I soon found myself slipping away to another world where pain didn't exist.

            Quick heavy footsteps could be heard from the hallway heading towards Rain's room. Leo quickly removed Rain from his lap and gently laid her down on the bed. He frowned realizing she had no covers or even a single pillow. In fact there was hardly anything in the room. A single dresser sat in the corner, but nothing sat on it to show that its owner had any sort of personality. The whole room was plain and impersonal. He took one more look at the girl sleeping, and then slipped out of the window just as he heard the lock slide out of place and the bedroom door creak open. Leo dropped to the ground soundlessly and made his way to the manhole nearby. Before he reached it though, he sensed a presence hiding in the shadows to his right.

            "Raph, what are you doing here?"

            "Well that's a real good question Leo, I should ask you the same thing."

            "Its none of your business."

            "Oh ho ho, the fearless leader thinks it's not my business. Well you have another thing comin' to ya pal. It is my business, and yea wanna know why?"

Leo had a stern look on his face. He did not want to be having this conversation at this very moment. Especially out in the open where the foot could easily catch them. But, he'd humor his brother, just this once.

            "Why Raphael?"

Raph sneered, rejoicing in the fact that, for once, Leo would play along.

            "Because I know about everything. I know who is up there in that little room. And I know about your dreams Leo. How you've been denying them to our faces. What kind of leader does that huh? What kind of leader goes behind his brothers' backs like that? Do you know?"

            "No, why don't you enlighten me, Raphael."

            "One without honor, Leonardo."

It took all of Leo's self-control not to level his brother right that instant. If he knew half the story then he would have known better than to say something that harsh. He gave his brother an angry look and was about to say something when a sudden scream cut through the thick tension between them. They looked at one another then both jumped up onto the fire escape. Leo reached her window first and wished he hadn't. Rain's father had her long dark hair wrapped around his knuckles tightly and was jerking her head around violently. Leo only heard half of what he was yelling about before thrusting the window open and knocking him onto the floor in one fluid motion.

Raphael

            When I heard the scream I forgot about Leo and I's little disagreement and immediately went into ninja mode. Leo gave me a quick "ok" look and we both jumped onto the fire escape. But we both weren't prepared for what we saw when we reached the bedroom window. Rain's father had her by the hair and was yelling at her furiously about denying something.

            "Don't you fucking lie to me, there was someone in here, I heard their voice. Now how was it?"

            "I swear, there was no one in here!"

He yanked her head violently again. That's when I watched Leo throw the window open and leap inside, ramming the guy to the floor. I rushed over to Rain and immediately went to work on the chains.

            "No, no, leave them!"

            "Excuse me? I know I didn't hear you say that."

            "Please just leave me, get out of here!"

            "Uh uh, no way, I ain't leavin' without you. You don't have much of a choice sweets."

She gave me a cold glare, which only made me grin as I broke the handcuffs. God, her wrists and ankles looked horrible.

            "C'mon, lets go?"

            "Wait! Hang on a second!"

I groaned. We didn't have a second. Leo was about to kill her father. She quickly scrambled to her closet and grabbed an overstuffed backpack, then rushed past me to the window. I made sure she was out safely before going back to Leo. Rain's father had become his personal punching bag. Not a good thing.

            "Leo, c'mon, lets get outta here!"

With one final blow to the head, he got up and slipped out the window. Wow, I didn't want to be him when he wakes up. It's gonna take a little more than a bottle of Tylenol to help with the pain he's gonna feel. Geesh.

Leo glanced around one more time before sliding the manhole cover back into place. Then he jumped down into the sewer and started heading towards home. He was not a happy turtle. Ok, so maybe callin' him an honor less leader was pushin' it, but dammit he pissed me off when he did shit like this! Ugh! I glanced over at Rain, she was a pretty girl. About my height, 5'7", long dark hair and dark eyes. With long dark lashes hovering over them. She was a real looker. Wait'll Casey sees her! I grinned; Casey and I were going to have to pay Rain's father another visit in the near future. I again glanced to my side at her, and then blinked. Wait. Where the hell…?

            "Rain?"
            "Uh…I'm stuck."

            "Your what?"

            "Stuck."

            "Fuck, Leo. Hold up, she's stuck!"

Leo turned around and walked back over to us.

            "She's stuck?"

            "Yea, stuck. Ok can we get over the 'She's stuck' thing? Christ!"

            "Here, I've got her."

Leo walked over to her and reached out to take her by the shoulders but she cowered away, as if he was about to smack her. I saw a glint of guilt in his eyes.

            "Rain, its ok, we won't hurt you.Yea maybe we have some nasty tempers, but we would never, ever hit you."

She glanced up at me shyly, and relaxed a bit, which was enough for Leo to be able to pick her up and carry her the rest of the way home. Now maybe Splinter could figure out the whole dream thing. There has to be some reason, some connection.

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