Dom sat in Nate's office, waiting for Nate to come in so he could perform his psych evaluation. He purposefully looked around at all the pictures in his office. There was a little lady that looked like his mother. Several children. Nieces and nephews, Dom assumed. And then there was a short young woman with red hair, very close to Hetty's height. Friend? Girlfriend? Dom could only guess.
He was trying to distract himself from all the thoughts running through his mind. He was anxious, his heart beating like a bass drum in his chest. What would he say to Nate? How would he react to his questions?
He'd been dreading this since he returned back to the Mission after getting out the hospital. There was a nagging feeling that wouldn't stop bothering him and it kept playing in his head like a broken record.
'I shouldn't even be alive.'
It should have been him, not Sam who took that bullet. If it hadn't been for Sam jumping in front of him just before one of the terrorists fired, it would be Kensi mourning her partner, not Callen having to keep vigil over Sam's hospital bed. Sam survived, thankfully, but Dom owed Sam his life, and it should have been Dom's life that was taken.
It felt so odd being back here, very much alive physically but emotionally drained. The month that he was in captivity was something that Dom would just rather forget than keep reliving it in his head over and over again.
The door to the office opened, and Nate walked in. He saw Dom and he smiled, but Dom didn't have one to give back.
"How's it going, Dom?" Nate asked as he sat down. Dom just shrugged.
"Don't know."
"How do you feel?" Nate tried asking.
"I don't know." Dom wanted to glare at Nate, but he didn't have the heart. The man was just doing his job.
"Well, we're all glad to have you back." Nate smiled again.
"Yeah, I'm sure you all are." Dom replied, still not smiling. Except he was the only one not glad to be back. Everyone had been fawning over him, babying him. He'd never escape being the rookie now, and everyone would be walking on eggshells and preventing him from doing his job fully.
"I'm sure you're looking forward to getting back to duty." Nate was trying to get a response out of him, any response at this point.
"But there's a chance I may not do that, right?" He felt worried now. Was this whole evaluation pointless?
"I want you to pull through this, Dom." Nate said with a wash of genuine concern over his face. "And I will try and help you through this as best I can. The fact that you were strong enough to escape and get through this ordeal in one piece is very encouraging. But now I need you to keep fighting and help me help you. It'll be rough, but it's got to be done. If you can do that, then I think in time, it will be a lot better. Are you willing to try?"
Dom closed his eyes and couldn't fight the images of that dark, dank dungeon he was kept in. He still heard the sounds of his captors yelling at him and beating him, trying to get him to break. It was so painful to remember. He'd felt weak and vulnerable, and it was the worst thing in the world.
He shouldn't have made it through all that, and yet here he was. He was alive. He was healthy. They didn't win, HE did.
Dom opened his eyes and strangely enough, found comfort in the eyes of his friend. It took some strength, but for the first time since he was found and rescued, he was able to smile.
"Let's do it."
END