Title: Not What I Wanted
Author: Trowa B
Rating: FRM
Notes: For havenward's prompt on comment_fic
Summary: It wasn't what he wanted. Not at all.
*****
Nate almost sobs as Eliot pushes into him gently – far more gently than he had expected or even wanted. Eliot stops once he's all the way in, one arm around Nate's waist as they lie spooned together on Eliot's bed. His other hand is fondling Nate's flagging erection back to full hardness and Nate can't help but moan, even as he's cursing Eliot for doing it this way, for taking time and care.
It's not what Nate wants. Not now. Not tonight, of all nights. Not on this anniversary. He wants the pain, wants the distraction of the aches for days to come.
When he had shown up on a surprised Eliot's doorstep though, Eliot had looked at him levelly as he had asked – alright, demanded – that the younger man help and had then towed him into the bathroom, throwing him into the shower fully clothed and switched it on cold.
"I'm not drunk," he had snarled and Eliot had nodded affably and agreed.
"Not any more than usual, anyway."
He doesn't know why he just handed control over to Eliot, but he did, and as Eliot takes him he tries for more friction, more force, more sensation, more anything, but Eliot's hold is too firm and he doesn't vary his pace, just croons softly in his ear and strokes him like he's a nervous colt.
*****
They're lying together later, Nate curled into Eliot's side, utterly wrung out from being kept on edge for so long, when he mutters, "It wasn't what I wanted. Not what I wanted," then adds, "Not that you care."
He can hear the smile in Eliot's reply just as he drifts off.
"Maybe what you needed though."