I sat with my back completely stiff as powder was applied to my already white face and my hair was brushed continuously despite its already silky texture. The under-dress was uncomfortable, like always, but like always I kept my mouth shut and let them treat me like a glass doll. I watched in the mirror as one maid weaved black threads into my long hair, making it looking more appealing and almost fairy like. Then again, that is why I am still here, to the kingdom I was just a beautiful Princess beyond their reach that people spoke of in excitement.
The few times I had snuck out at night I would ask some people about her, and the way they talked about her was nothing at all what I thought of myself. They spoke like she was a goddess with a pure heart and beauty that no one could ever turn a blind eye on. Sometimes I wanted to laugh at what they said, because none of it was really true.
I'm a horrible person because I have never once opposed the council's decisions. When they told me to grow my hair out, I did so. They told me to be incredibly polite, I was. They said that I was now the Princess Tetsu instead of the seldom known Prince Kuroko. With that my life became that of a porcelain doll of beauty.
No one knows how hard it is, to be this doll.
The council constantly arranges balls to keep up appearances and to show off their prize jewel. The people don't know that the first time one of the men touched me I almost cried. They didn't know that whenever the dances ended I would go to my room as quickly as possible to scrub my hands where the kisses were placed, I scrubbed them until they bled once. Then there are the marriage proposals.
When I first recieved one I was terrified, but this fear was soon changed when I realized the council wanted the attention of only the most powerful marriage proposal. They wanted me to marry a powerful kingdom so they could feed off of that wealth. It hurt me to think that the people thought our kingdom was so pure, when it is anything but.
Tonight there is another ball. It's my sixteenth birthday and they would take any chance they could to attract the young Princes' attention, even when I just wanted to lay in my room and sleep. One would think that someone of royalty was allowed to sleep in, but I rarely slept longer than when the sun first appeared in the sky.
Someone came in and she began talking to the others in a worried tone. All of the maids care about me so much. They are incredibly kind and try their best to make me feel comfortable. Another maid cried out in fury but stopped once I placed a gentle gloved hand on her shoulder.
"It's alright. Tightening the corset won't hurt me that much. I'm used to it," in reality I hated the pain, but whining only got me more pain. Every so often the maids were ordered to tighten my corset; I needed to look slimmer, I needed a smaller waist, I needed to look more petite. It made me want to cringe whenever I hear of women that die because their corsets were too tight and crushed their ribs. I might end up like that one day.
Tightening the corset was always the worst. I panted in pain and squeezed the wooden polls used when pulling the strings tighter. You could feel everything being squeezed tighter with horrible pressure, making me want to throw up or rip it off, since it never allowed me much air.
I wore a small dress cage too. It's this wooden basket looking thing that looks like a long skirt. They use dress cages to keep all of the fancy dresses looking puffy and full. I had to unchange and redress in order to tighten the corset. They helped me into a rose pink dress with light blue embroidery and black, silk ruffles along the sleeves, skirt, waist and bust. The cut on the dress was low and the sleeves were thin circlets that wrapped around my biceps, showing off my neck and shoulders. A small black choker with a blue gem adorned my neck, completing the look with my black pumps that were just barely visible when I walked.
After touching up on my hair, I opened the door to my chambers and found the captain of the guard there to escort me to the main room.
"Captain," I inclined my head and gave him a small smile.
"Princess," he gave me his arm and I took it as the smile on his face grew. Captain Aomine Daiki was aware of everything going on in the kingdom, but instead of raging out he stayed to help protect me and to be there when my secret was revealed -if it would be revealed. His helmet was tucked under his other arm and I held onto my skirt with my free hand, since it is easy to trip in a dress like this.
The roar of hundreds of nobles reached my ears before we approached the doors. I tried to take in a deep breath but the corset only allowed minimal movement, adding more pressure onto my already stressed person. Guards opened the doors for us and we entered slowly, followed by an announcement of our arrival.
Ladies curtsied and men bowed as we passed. Like the perfect Princess I was told to be, I nodded to them and gave them all a beautiful, but fake, smile. The all too familiar look of lust in some peoples' eyes made me want to shudder and run away to hide. Aomine held my hand as I slowly took a seat in the raised throne to sit there like a flower waiting to be picked. He stood next to my seat and excitement returned to the crowd as the orchestra began to play a symphonie. I knew that it wouldn't be long before I was plucked up and pulled away to dance for hours with any willing person.
The first man greeted me like the rest usually do. With a smirk on his face as he called me beautiful and a kiss on the hand that lingered too long but not long enough to get chastised by the Captain. I smiled kindly and acted like it was fine whenever a mans' hand slid from my waist to get a feel of me. I politely declined when a man would confess his undying love for me. I smiled and made sure that everyone was having a nice time, even when I was the attention of most peoples' seduction.
The soreness in my feet was enough to make me cry but the ball was still alive with full force. I lost count of how many people asked me to dance and how many times I was twirled on the dance floor until I felt like I would be sick. I thankfully accepted the Captains asking of a dance with me, saving me from some drunken men. We didn't dance and instead he helped me back over to a desolate table in the corner. The thanks I had for him was pushed off as he ordered me to stay as he fetched me refreshments.
I took one of the silk napkins on the table and began to wipe down my hands. Despite the gloves that I wore, my hands still felt dirty. As the napkin began to wrinkle someone sat down next to me. Expecting to be asked to another dance, I straightened up and folded the napkin to sit it on the table. When the man said nothing to me and simply grumbled to himself, my hands began to fidget. The silence that the man gave me was new and uncomfortable, like a new corset that had yet to be worn in and all of the strings and pins dug into your skin, making the flesh raw so that once it was removed you would start bleeding.
He kept running a hand through his red hair and talking to himself about arranged marriage and snotty councilmen. I could understand a little bit about the latter but I know for sure that my marriage will be way worse than any sort of arranged marriage. Aomine came back and handed me a glass of water. Once my hands were gripping the glass I saw him glare at the red-haired man sitting by me. I took a sip of water and sighed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Aomine's hand dance down over the hilt of his sword. My hand flew to cover his.
"He hasn't acknowledged me, Captain. He is probably harmless," I saw the doubt in his eyes and I agreed with him but violence was never good. Seeing him relax slightly and draw back his hand, I drank some more of the water and fought the urge not to cough. My throat hurt and, whenever I tried to swallow, the water would get stuck in my throat and sit there like a rock. I might have accidentally coughed or made a noise because the red-haired guy turned suddenly and almost jumped up from his seat when our eyes met.
"When did- what!?" his shock was evident and he was leaning precariously on the edge of his chair. One hand gripped the back of the chair and the other held onto the tables edge, making me worry he may fall.
"Please be careful," I heard Aomine groan in protest but I reached out and took the man's hand, pulling him forward and back onto the chair properly. Aomine stiffened behind me and the man gripped my hand tightly, almost making me wince, almost. My blue eyes stared into wide red ones that bored into me with unwavering curiosity. It wasn't like the lustful gaze I had grown to ignore, nor was it like the look of want the council gave me or that praised stare of civilians.
"Excuse me," Aomine stepped closer to me and I felt his hand on the back of my chair. He stared intensely at the other man who was still holding onto my hand. "But I believe that you have been holding onto her Majesty's hand a little too tightly," I saw the shock on his face and he looked from me to Aomine and then back again before letting go of my hand and standing up, looking flustered.
"Oh! Uh-well, I'm very sorry, your Majesty! I-I uh…"
"It 'tis alright. There was no harm done, I apologise for making you worry," I stood up and nodded my head to him respectively. Confused, he went between nodding back and bowing, making it look awkward and jerk-ish. I donned a small smile momentarily before he straightened up with an ashamed look.
"No really, I am sorry. Forgive me," he took my hand and leaned down, placing a soft kiss on my knuckles before straightening up and letting it go. "I am Prince Kagami Taiga of Seirin, it is an honour to meet the well-spoken Princess Tetsu," I curtsied to him and tried to suppress a strange feeling in my stomach. It felt like snakes were wriggling around in my intestines, ticklish but at the same time tight and unnerving.
Kagami was looking at me oddly and I felt my hands twitching from there place in the folds of my dress. His adam's apple bobbed up and down as if he were trying to clear his throat before speaking. I saw Aomine move slightly so that he was standing behind me protectively, like he always was. And for once, I was shaken by the strong presence that the Captain had. The most confusing was of my reaction to those around me.
For one I actually feel very comfortable around this Kagami person. Which is something that has never happened after meeting someone new. The second is that I wanted Kagami to ask me to dance. He seemed like a good dancer from his strong stature and muscular build. I shivered by accident and I saw Kagami's concern.
"Are you cold Princess? Here," I watched with curious eyes and a slightly parted mouth as he took off his overcoat, so he was know just in a silk tunic and vest, and gently wrapped it around my bare shoulders. With both my hands holding the coat on myself, I gave Kagami a small smile. I think that I might like this prince.
"Thank you very much for this, Prince Kagami," he looked flustered and smiled back with a small twitch around his eye.
"Please, Princess, just call me Kagami."
"Well then, Kagami, shall you refer to me as Tetsu or Princess?" I felt my hands shake slightly and saw Aomine walk back to lean against a wall near us. I wasn't sure if they shook from excitement, fear or a little of both. I had never addressed someone knew by their name so intimately. The air around us was warm and I felt Kagami's heat from the coat warm me to my bones.
"Tetsu, if I may," I nodded and tried to keep myself from smiling again. He opened his mouth again and spoke in a soft tone. "I would ask a beautiful lady like you to dance, but seeing as the ball has gone for hours and the Princess has waltzed the many hours, I would like to walk with you, Tetsu, perhaps in the garden, as not to bore such an exquisite person," I brought my chin up and gave him a dead stare. On the inside my heart was warmed with gratitude and I had trouble remembering how to breath. I love walking in the garden, and Kagami's way with words was amazing. I would like to know where he learned to speak with such grace.
"I would love to accompany Kagami on a walk in the garden," he smiled and thanked me. I took his arm and we left the party without any disturbances. The noise died from my ears as I guided Kagami to the garden. It was large with a variety of flowers, especially the famous blue rose. It was the symbol of my kingdom.
"Is it alright that I stole thee away from thou's party? I would not wish any bewitchment upon thee for leaving," I was again amazed by his speaking. Maybe Kagami is trying to impress me, or maybe he is a fan of the great William Shakespeare.
"I assure thee that no harm shall come due to thy person," hiding a smirk from him, I silently challenged Kagami with my response. I saw him glance over at me with a raised eyebrow as we neared a stone bench in the garden. Kagami held my hand as I slowly sat down before he joined me. I was very grateful for Kagami's overcoat because I did not fare well in the cold and it had been getting colder since.
"Art thou feeling well?" He must have seen me pull the jacket closer. The cold was beginning to sink in and the jacket had lost its previous warmth.
"The frigid air is chilling me to the bone. I am not one that bodes well with a cold like this," I saw Kagami's eyes flicker about from me to the coat and to his hands. The inner struggle was evident in the contortions of his face. I wasn't sure if I should feel happy that he is taking so much time to make a decision, or afraid that he may do something now that we are alone. He opened and closed his mouth like one of the koi fish that swim in the pond towards the other side of the garden. I found it very amusing and giggled, keeping myself from snorting.
"Sh-shall I hold thee for warmth?" I ducked my head down and felt the blood rush into my face. I do not think that I am cold anymore. Rejecting the invitation of warmth was very nice and I was very grateful for warmth, but I was really cold. I nodded and saw him shift closer out of the corner of my eyes. He draped an arm over my shoulder and I shivered as a hand brushed my neck by accident. "It this alright, Tetsu?"
"Yes, thank you for the offer, Kagami," I leaned into him and felt my stomach churn. I didn't know what this feeling was. I had never felt it before and I was confused. Although this feeling was strange, it wasn't unpleasant. Along with Kagami's warmth, I felt... relaxed. I wanted to jump up and scream and rip my hair out. The corset dug into my delicate skin making me want to tear it to pieces and curl up into a ball to cover my wounds. I wanted to be normal. To just be whom I am.
I want to tell Kagami my secret, because I think he will understand. I want to get away from here. I want to run with the wind slapping against my skin and my feet aching from the horrible strain in my shoes.
I want to scream my lungs out and curse the world away as tears are let free and my skin is once again pure of any markings and disgusting touches of vile creatures.
I want to be…
Me.