I don't own Andromeda. Nor do I own any other TV show that appears in this fic. If I did, I'd be rich.

It was just a normal, non-exciting, completely boring day when Captain Dylan Hunt of the Andromeda Ascendant, whistling, minding his own business, walked onto the bridge of the Starship Enterprise.

"What?" asked Dylan, surprised at this unexpected turn of events. When he walked somewhere on his ship, he generally expected to stay on his ship. Of course, he supposed, anything could happen, really. As he walked further on board, he began to notice that every single person in the vicinity was staring at him. For a minute, he wondered if perhaps he had grown another head, or arm, or some other extra limb, when he realized that, of course, he was still his pajamas. No wonder they were all looking at him funny.

"You know what?" He said, smiling broadly at his incredible genious. "I'll just go get changed now." And with that, utterly pleased with himself, he walked out.

Captain Jean Luc Picard turned to his first officer, Commander Riker, and demanded, in no uncertain terms: "What the hell was that about?"

"I have no idea, sir," Riker shrugged, and went back to playing his gameboy.

hibobhibobhiobhibobhibob

"DYLAN HUNT!!! GET YOUR BUTT UP HERE!!!"

Wondering what he possibly could have done to anger his first officer now, Dylan rushed onto the Andromeda's Command Deck. Beka stood in the direct center of the room, hands her hips and foot tapping. When she saw him, she immediatly smiled, and turned back to whatever she had been doing before.

"What did I do now?" huffed Dylan, out of breath from his run across the gigantic ship.

"Nothing," replied Beka. "Just wanted to make sure you were listening."

"We thought you might have accidentally walked into another reality," explained Trance, her tail flicking back and forth, back and forth. "But obviously, you got back."

Dylan stared at her. "Aren't you supposed to be golden?" he finally asked.

Trance grinned. "Oh, but I am. See?" And then, in flash of light, Golden Trance appeared, waving.

"Hi!" She beamed. Purple Trance turned to her.

"I am so much cooler than you." she said.

"No you're not!" cried Golden Trance, enraged. Purple Trance snorted.

"Come on!" she said. "I have a tail!"

"I'm the cooler one," pouted Golden Trance. "Harper, Tell her!"

Harper, who had just walked in for no particular reason, froze like a mermaid in the arctic.

"Er," he mumbled, backing towards the door. "I don't know, I mean, you're both pretty cool, but-OOF!" He was aruptly saved from this cosmic error by bumping into the ten-foot-tall Neitzchien, Tyr Anasazi. Tyr tutted, and picked the poor boy up, depositing him out of harms way.

"Do you think we could stop this useless bickering and get on with the story?" He said loudly, as only Tyr could.

"There's a story?" asked Rommie, entering with her usual sarcastic comment behind Tyr.

"I hope so," said Beka. "This is getting boring." The rest of the crew agreed, and was just about to go try to find trouble, when Rommie noticed something on her scanner.

"Hey Guys?" She called. "I'm picking up a weird looking alien ship."

"Wow, you're stong," said Dylan in awe. Rommie rolled her eyes.

"No," she said. "I mean it's coming our way."

"Ohhhhhh," said Dylan.

"An alien ship?" asked Tyr, intrigued. "Can I shoot it?"

"No," said Dylan, taking command. "No, you may not shoot it."

Tyr felt tears welling up in his eyes. "You never let me do anything!" He sobbed. Harper patted him on the back, attempting to console his large friend.

Beka, who was beginning to feel like she might start crying if she continued to stand there doing nothing, tapped Dylan on the shoulder. "Can we go to slipstream?" she whined.

"Not now," Dylan told her.

"Why not?"

"Because I said so!" shouted Dylan.

"OK! Geez, sorry I asked," Beka wandered away, muttering about revenge plans on the great Commonwealth Captain.

Dylan sighed, turning away to face the viewscreen. Purple Trance and Golden Trance had started up their argument about which one of them was better, Tyr sobbed in the corner, with Harper trying to console him, and Beka and Rommie were whispering conspiratoraly in the opposite corner, occasionally throwing a dirty look his way. Dylan ran his hand through his hair, and sighed again.

"This ship ain't what it used to be," He muttered.

Big mistake.