Please Remember

Dedicated to my two C's and to V. And to all the others gone too soon.
Dedicated to Little Miss M. And yes, to myself as well. And to all the others left behind, hoping to remember.

Booth's key turned in the lock. He waited to open the door, wondering how he would find her. He could guess but, with Brennan, one never knew. Taking a deep breath he lowered the handle and finally opened the front door. The house was quiet and silent, but a light was on in the living room and he could hear Christine's giggles. He carefully settled his badge and gun in the safe by the door and hung his coat, rubbing together his cold hands. That late December evening was freezing. A couple of days and it would be the new year. It was not a cheerful time though. Not this year.

As he approached the room he heard her talking softly to their daughter and he knew. Just from her voice in the distance, he knew. He knew he would find her trying to keep it all together with tape and glue, keeping it all inside and guarded as always, but he also knew her true feelings. He did know her so well, maybe years ago she could have fooled him into thinking that it all wasn't affecting her, but now? Now he knew, and she knew. And that made it all even more difficult.

He walked quietly towards the living room and peeked in. Christine was sitting on her colorful mat surrounded by her new toys. For Christmas she had got a ton of new toys from friends and family and the little girl was still in the middle of the process of discovering and exploring them all. He observed how she would pick one of them up, turn it in her hands, laugh and show it to her mother who, from the couch where she was sitting, would smile and nod. Christine would then put it back down to reach for another one. Brennan's smile gave her away as her voice did. Yes, it was a smile, the sweet and loving smile of a mother looking at her daughter, but he could see that it was a sad smile too. And the fact that she was holding tight in her hand Christine's new stuffed red-nosed-reindeer was quite telling too. As was the tear that rolled down her cheek.

Life was so ironic and cruel. Yes, because that Christmas had been one of the best ones he has ever had. He got Parker over for four whole days in a row, including Christmas Eve and Day and he couldn't have been more thankful for that. They had a party in their house with the closest friends and family and it had been a real success. Plus, Christine was finally old enough to fully understand and enjoy it. Michael and she were the real spirit of the holiday… the innocent, carefree and always joyful spirit. The women joined forces to prepare an amazing dinner and the men built together the biggest and most colorful Christmas tree. Max dressed up as Santa, long fake white beard included, and showed up at the door after dinner with a bagful of presents for old and young. It was indeed the perfect evening, the perfect holiday. Until… until.

"Daddy!"

Booth came out of his own thoughts as his daughter got up on her feet and walked towards him. With a proud smile he leaned down and caught his little girl in his arms. Christine started talking one hundred words a second as usual, telling him about her new toys and her new discoveries, but his eyes were still fixed on Brennan's. From her expression he could tell that apparently Christine had been indeed the first one to notice him, because Brennan looked like someone who had been caught doing something they weren't supposed to do. She rapidly passed a hand over her eyes and cheeks. As if.

She had been incredibly strong and steady these past few days, maybe too much to an outsider's eye, to them for sure she could have even seemed cold, but he knew better. And he knew it wasn't going to last much longer. That dam was eventually going to break, and so was she. It was all going to crush down at some point. He just had to make sure he was there when it happened. His eyes softened as he kissed his daughter's cheek and set her down on the carpet, where she immediately reached for her toys again. Ruffling her dark curls he moved to the couch and sat down next to Brennan.

"Bones…" he murmured as he took in her red-rimmed eyes and damp cheeks.

She closed her eyes and started to turn her head from him, but his fingers softly caressed her jawline, effectively stopping her from hiding away.

"Booth" she sighed, blinking faster to avoid more tears that would not go unnoticed.

"You don't have to be brave around me, you know, right?" he whispered, his tone tender and reassuring.

Brennan looked down at the stuffed animal in her lap, her knuckles turning white so tight was her grip.

"He..." she tried but her throat closed up and her eyes filled with tears again and this time she wasn't able to stop them.

"Just say it, Bones... you need to say it" Booth's arm was around her shoulders, giving her all the comfort and support she so desperately needed.

She looked up at him for a brief moment and he was gazing at her with such love and understanding that she collapsed helplessly into his arms. He held her through her sobs, keeping an eye on Christine in the meantime.

"He died Booth…" she cried, her head leaning on his chest as he tears wet his shirt "He's gone."

Silent tears rolled down his own eyes "Yes, Bones… he is" How much he wished he could tell her no, tell her that it wasn't true.

"I… I know it… I just…" she choked up and he hugged her tight, letting her know, deep inside, that he was there for her, always there. "He…and she…" she trailed off again.

He ran soothing circles on her back, trying to relax her and get her to breath normally. But, instead, her breathing got even more erratic as the dam broke over and over. "He's gone and she… she's so little, she won't even..."

"Who, Bones? Christine?" Booth asked. He felt that now she wanted to get it all out "She won't what?"

Brennan's voice was weak and fragile and the two words barely made it out of her mouth. "Remember him"

A big lump formed in his throat and this time he couldn't find any comforting words to make that terrible truth less painful.

"She's only three… she may not even remember him when she's older…" she sobbed quietly "She loves him but she won't even remember."

"Christine… she - " her voice broke again and she took a deep breath "She asked for him earlier, Booth. She found this and asked when he would come over" Brennan said, holding up the reindeer Max got her for Christmas, just a couple of days before.

"We'll tell her about him, Bones…. We'll make sure she remembers her grandpa" he whispered as Christine started to try and climb on the couch.

He helped her up and the little girl took the reindeer from her mother's hands and hugged it close to her. She yawned and snuggled between her parents, her little hand gripped on Brennan's fingers like how she used to when she was a baby.

Booth started rocking gently, trying to get now both mom and daughter to rest, wondering when he would be able to do just that. He had been focusing it all on Brennan and he didn't get to cope with what happened that day himself. But no, he couldn't do it just yet. It wasn't about him. She and Christine needed him and all of his strength. He just couldn't waste any of it.

He had started to think that Christmas, maybe his favorite time of the year, was indeed cursed for the Brennan family. And yes, he hated that the tragedy happened right on Christmas Day. No, not that any other day would have been better but that particular day had been … critical to Brennan for years and she had just began to appreciate it as a pleasant family time. And then... then he had to answer that phone call and crash it again, just as she was preparing their planned Christmas family lunch.

He had just gone to pick Max up at his apartment and the two men were in his car when it had happened. They were talking and laughing when he had suddenly started gasping. He was already gone when Booth got to the hospital five minutes later, full speed and sirens on. Heart attack, doctors had confirmed. No one could have seen it coming. No history, no previous health problems. It just... happened.

A few minutes later his phone had rang. He had taken a deep breath and had answered. Brennan had immediately started to scold him because they were late and their lunch was getting cold.

He went back to the present and shook his head to try and forget what had happened right after. It seemed like she had frozen for three days and he had suspected that she wouldn't let herself feel anything, just slipping back into her usual dangerous habit of never letting anyone in.

All he could do was to be with her, help her through it, trying to keep thinking that, no matter how many curve balls life had thrown them, they were still together, still solid, still a family.

He looked down tenderly at his girls, finally both asleep on him. On the couch his back started to make him realize the not so comfortable position he was in, but he would gladly ignore it if it meant giving Bones some much needed peaceful rest. But, as if she had heard his thoughts, she raised her head from his chest and looked first up at him, then down at their sleeping daughter between them.

"I should take Christine to her bed" she whispered, fingers stroking gently the girl's curly hair.

"I can take her, if you want..." he offered.

She looked up at him again, deep into his eyes. He thought he detected a hint of gratefulness before she shook her head. "No, I'll do it" she murmured, her voice as fragile and weak as before "But thank you"

Carefully and without waking her, Brennan gathered Christine in her arms and stood up, one of the toddler's hands still gripping her stuffed animal. She walked quietly to her room, gently laid the sleeping girl in her bed and tucked her in. In her sleep, Christine hugged the reindeer close to her. Swallowing the now familiar lump in her throat she leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Please remember him..." she whispered softly.

As she stood back up and turned away from Christine's bed, in the dark she spotted Booth leaning against the door frame, surely there to check on her from a distance.

She took the few steps that separated them and stopped right in front of him. She looked up into his eyes without saying a word. Her nature was still to hide away and shut everyone out when things got rough and those instincts almost won once again. Almost.

She had finally learned that she could let him in, that he wouldn't consider her weak, but he would just be there and comfort her and just get her. She knew now he'd always be there to catch her whenever she fell. She knew. She realized that, yes, for the second time in her life she was an orphan and nothing would make it easier to accept it or deal with its consequences... but there was a big difference from the first time. This time she wasn't alone. This time she had someone she could lean on.

Without thinking about it one more moment, she took the last step that landed her against his chest, his strong arms immediately around her, making her feel protected.

And safe, finally safe. Against anything.