Punk Rock 101
"Behold Perry the Platypus! My new glue-inator!"
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz fired his newest inator at his nememis/frenemie Perry the Platypus otherwise known as Agent P. What's a glue-inator? Well a glue-inator is exactly what it sounds like. It's an inator that fires projectile globs of glue. Well the old doctor was starting to run out of ideas but it was better then nothing.
Perry dodged all the globs easily and rolled in front of Doof before jumping up and kicking him into the wall behind him. The platypus jumped on him and raised his first to punch the "evil" scientist when the front door flew open forcefully and was then slammed back shut.
Both the aquatic mammal and supposed pharmacist looked up to see a fuming Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. The strange thing was though that for once it seemed that Doof wasn't the cause of the sixteen year old's fury as she only looked at him and his nemesis for a second before stomping off to her room and slamming that door shut. Heinz and Perry looked at one another for a moment before Perry got off the human and helped him up.
"Thank you Perry the Platypus." said Heinz as he dusted himself off.
"Well I better go see what's wrong with Vanessa, so... curse you Perry the Platypus yada yada yada okay bye-bye now." Doofenshmirtz waved at Perry goodbye before walking away in the direction of his daughter's room while the secret agent nodded at his frenemie making his way out of the apartment.
Heinz meanwhile slowly walked up to Vanessa's door which appropriately had a large red sign on it that read "KEEP OUT!". Nonetheless he cautiously knocked on the teen's door three times awaiting for it to open and silently hoping nothing would fly out and hit him in his face. After a few minutes without an answer Doof jiggled the door and found that it was in in fact open.
Like a member of the bomb squad he cracked the door open while poking his head ever so slightly into the room. Thankfully nothing flew toward him so he ventured further into his daughter's room and found said teen on her laptop with her headphones on and furiously tapping on the laptop's keyboard. Upon seeing her father she stopped her tapping and took out her headphones sighing.
"Is something wrong Vanessa?" asked Heinz as he sat down on her bed by her feet.
Vanessa's gaze on her father softened slightly but she still looked far from happy. True she never was the most cheerful of girls, but that didn't mean she always looked unhappy. If her dad noticed she was really not happy then something was definitely wrong.
"It's nothing Dad, me and Johnny just broke up that's all."
Heinz looked at his daughter with a look mixed with confusion and concern.
"Do you want me to make a Destroy-Johnny-inator because I could do that easily..."
"Dad! I don't think an inator will solve any problems." Vanessa rolled her eyes but then stopped and lightly sighed again once she saw her dad cast his gaze to the ground. She put her hand on his shoulder causing him to once again look up.
"I just need some time alone Dad. Okay?" He nodded slowly lifting himself off her bad and started to exit her room.
"Whatever you say Vanessa but just say the word and I'll make the inator."
Once the door was again closed Vanessa plugged back in her headphones and began listening to a Scraping Fangs song that she always liked. Vanessa had never been the type to cry over a boy, and certainly wasn't going to cry over a jerk like Johnny. At least that's what she told herself. Normally she would talk to Lacey about something like this but her best friend was halfway around the world on vacation and didn't have international coverage on her phone. And while she did love both her parents deeply she didn't feel exactly comfortable talking to them about Johnny. Especially since she knew they had never approved of him in the first place.
So for now she would just have to keep her feelings on her breakup to herself. Unbeknownst to the Doofenshmirtz however, a certain platypus heard their entire conversation that had occurred between father and daughter. Perry quickly started his hovercar before he was discovered and flew off in the direction of his host's home with an idea quickly forming in his head.
Phineas and Ferb were lounging in their backyard under their tree looking up at the sky when a young girl with a pink bow walked up to them.
"Hi guys... whatcha doing?"
Phineas looked up at their friend Isabella and then looked back up at the sky.
"Nothing."
"What do you mean nothing!? Shouldn't you guys be finding the cure for the common cold or building the world's largest snow cone or something?" asked Isabella who was a little shocked at the young inventor's laziness. Phineas moved into a sitting position soon followed by Ferb and looked back up at the leader of the fireside girls.
"No really Isabella we don't have any ideas today. Maybe we're in a slump."
"What's up Dinnerbell?" asked Buford as he and his frenemie Baljeet walked into the backyard.
"Nothing." said Phineas in the same way he said it to Isabella.
"What do you mean, nothing?" asked Baljeet as he blinked his eyes in confusion.
"As in they have no ideas today. They're in a slump or something." answered Isabella as the two stepbrothers stood up.
"That's very unlike you two, are you sure you are not feeling ill?" asked Baljeet.
"Nope. It's strange we just don't have any ideas today."
"Well I know what we're going to do today." Isabella told Buford and Baljeet.
"What's that?" asked the red-head who was now very curious as was Ferb who just didn't show it.
"We're going to help you two come up with a spectacular idea for you guys to do today." the girl said confidently.
"Gee thanks Isabella." smiled Phineas causing the girl who's had a crush on him for years to blush.
"Yeah that's great but can we get lunch first Buford's hungry." interrupted the bully his stomach growling loudly.
"Buford can't you think with your head and not your stomach." groaned Baljeet rubbing his temples with his hand.
"Buford no understand, needs food."
"Actually Baljeet that wouldn't be a bad idea." chimed in Phineas as his own stomach grumbled.
"After all it's easier to brainstorm with a full stomach."
The other children grumbled in agreement as they followed Phineas into the house. Ferb was following behind them when he heard a familiar clicking noise. He turned around and saw Perry under the tree in his normal platypus state.
"Oh there you are Perry."
The green-haired boy squinted his eyes upon seeing a small black object on the ground near Perry. He bent down to pick it up and realized it was an audio recorder of sorts. Curiosity getting the better of him he pressed the green play button to find out what was on the machine.
"It's nothing Dad me and Johnny broke up that's all."
Ferb's eyebrows lifted themselves up upon hearing the voice he recognized as belonging to the women who captured his attention since he met her, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. And from the sound of her voice he could tell she was far from fine.
He gazed at the machine as the audio ended with Vanessa sighing before stuffing it in his pocket. Ferb wished more than anything that he could help the girl of her dreams but what could he do? He was only ten and she was sixteen. He didn't know anything about relationships and romance and he doubted he would be any help to her even if he could.
So with a heavy heart he trudged into the house leaving Perry by himself. Once everyone was inside the house Perry stood up straight and put on his fedora. The platypus slapped his forehead forcefully at his owner's obliviousness that could rival his stepbrother's. The secret agent realized that he would have to take a different course of action as he once again jumped in his hovercar but this time flew of towards the DEI building.
Doofenshmirtz evil incorporated!
Vanessa was still on her laptop listening to music though this time she wasn't listening to Scraping Fangs, but to Phineas and the Ferbtones. Normally she wouldn't listen to something so upbeat and cheerful, but since it was Ferb she made an exception.
It at least took her mind off Johnny, but it put it on a much more troubling topic. Ferb. The young boy had quickly carved himself a special place in Vanessa's life. While Vanessa didn't exactly share Ferb's "secret" romantic feelings she definitely had a soft sport for the young Brit. Even though he was only ten he listened to her when most boys her own age would have just ignored as "girl talk".
And she couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if he was only a few years older. She took out her headphones when she heard a faint tapping noise and turned around to see Perry the platypus outside her window in his hovercar.
"Perry the platypus!" she exclaimed. Perry nodded and moved his head gesturing her to hop in.
"You want me to get in?"
He nodded again.
"Hold on just a sec."
Vanessa walked out her bedroom door and opened it a little.
"Hey dad! I'm going to go out for a little bit okay?" Vanessa shouted out the door.
"Sure thing sweetie just be sure to be back before ten!" Heinz yelled back. She closed the door and then climbed out of her window and sat next to Perry in his hovercar.
"Ok, so where are you taking me anyway Perry?" Perry didn't say anything as they flew back towards the Fletcher-Flynn household. Heinz didn't notice how Vanessa left the building as he was too busy in his laboratory creating the Destroy-Johnny-inator.
...
Perry parked his hovercar on the sidewalk outside his owner's house and motioned for Vanessa to step out of the car. Once she did she looked at the house in front of her questioningly.
"Who lives here?"
Perry only took a picture out from under his fedora and handed it to the sixteen year old girl. She held it up close to her face and saw that it was none other then Phineas and Ferb in the picture.
"Wait does Ferb live here? Do you know Ferb?" But when Vanessa looked back up from the picture and saw both Perry and his hovercar were gone. She looked around the street and saw no signs of a platypus nor hovercar. She then looked at the house and for the hundredth time that day sighed to herself.
"Well I won't find out standing out here."
She slowly trekked her way to the front door and stood on the doormat for what seemed like a lifetime but in actuality was only about 2 minutes. And in what felt like slow motion rang the doorbell.
"Well I'm either making the best decision I've ever made. Or the worst since dating Johnny."
Inside the house Ferb and friends were in the living room lying down in various lazy positions trying to come up with and idea for the day's activities. Phineas and Ferb were hanging upside down on the their couch while Isabella lounged on the recliner next to them while Buford laid on top of Baljeet on the floor.
"So any ideas anyone?" asked Phineas still sounding uncharacteristically lazy and bored.
"Nope."
"Buford tired."
"MMGFFFFPJJHHLL!"
Phineas looked around with his eyebrows raised before settling on Buford who was drifting in and out of consciousness.
"Buford could you get off Baljeet? I think he's running out of oxygen."
"Huh? Oh all right."
Buford begrudgingly got off the suffocating Indian boy who sat frantically grasping his throat trying to regulate his breathing. Once he once again had a semi-normal breathing rate Phineas addressed him.
"No sorry, I do not have anything." Baljeet said quietly once he completely stopped hyperventilating. Finally Phineas looked at his stepbrother expectantly.
"How about you Ferbouche?"
The proclaimed "man of action" shook his head causing everyone(except Buford who was asleep) to collectively sigh and gaze back up at either the ceiling or the ground.. Their utter laziness was broken momentarily when the sound of the front doorbell ring throughout the house.
"Ferb can you get that?" asked Phineas. Without a complaint Ferb hopped off the couch and straightened out his back while shaking his head to regulate the blood flow from his head to the rest of his body.
The boy with a ride from outer space walked over to the door and opened it to see who it was that was ringing their doorbell in the middle of the afternoon. Ferb opened the door partly and was shocked when he discovered who their visitor was.
"Vanessa."
"Hey Ferb."
The green-haired inventor blinked in surprise before opening the door fully to see the girl of his dreams standing in front of him.
"What are you doing here?" Ferb was too shocked to ask the question in a more polite manner but Vanessa smiled nonetheless albeit a little nervously.
"Oh you know I was just flying by and a friend of mine thought I should come here for some odd reason."
Ferb finally came to his senses and remembered his manners as he stepped to the side and gave a gesture asking if Vanessa wanted to come inside.
"Actually I was wondering if you would maybe want to take a walk with me." Vanessa was strangely nervous as she shifted all her weight onto her right foot.
"You know I figured we could catch up a little, it's been a while since we had a talk just you and me."
"Not since Paris"
Ferb thought to himself silently thinking things over. He peered into the living room and saw his friends still lying around in various positions then looked back at Vanessa. Finally the Brit gave her a shadow of a smile before stepping out and closing the door behind him.
"I know just the place."
...
The two walked to a nearby park and after about five to ten minutes before finally sitting down on a nearby park bench. They had walked mainly in silence and were both currently staring either at the ground or the scenery both waiting for the other to start a conversation.
Ferb took his eyes off the ground and instead started to watch a young couple sitting on a picnic blanket a few feet away from them and from what he could tell they were both around sixteen years old. They were both snuggled against each other and the boy was sure they were whispering sweet nothings to each other while smiling and giggling at each other. It was safe to say he had never been so jealous.
Thankfully the intoxicating brunette next to him broke the awkward silence between them.
"So um how've you been?"
The shorter boy turned to face her catching a small smile forming on her face as she observed him and no longer able to control himself he smiled as well.
"Oh I've been alright. How about you?"
There was something about his deep rich British accent that always got Vanessa. He was only around ten years old but his voice definitely made him sound much older. And he was the most mature kid that she knew, actually he was the most mature person she knew period. I could listen to him talk forever. Wait Vanessa what are you thinking!?
"Well... I've been alright." Ferb raised his eyebrows at the girl clearly not convinced at her poor attempt to sound perfectly fine. He could tell by the way she nervously and slowly spoke that there was definitely something going on with her.
"Ok fine you got me." How does he always get me to talk by saying nothing at all?
"Actually I just broke up with my boyfriend a couple hours ago." Of course Ferb already knew this from the mysterious tape recorder but he wasn't about to tell her that.
"What happened?" She smiled to herself at his genuine concern for her personal problems, he sure was wise beyond his years.
"Oh I wouldn't want to just dump all my problems on you." He scooted slightly closer to her and leaned his chin on his fist giving her all his attention.
"I don't mind, I happen to be a great listener."
Vanessa laughed to herself quietly at the notion he was just a "great listener". She knew for a fact he was actually a fantastic listener, that was probably why he didn't talk much.
"Okay, we had been going out for a while and I thought he was sweet and caring at first but lately we've been...well... drifting apart."
She wasn't quite sure why she was telling her young friend all of that, maybe it was the sincerity in his eyes, or the way she seemed to be the only one in the world to him whenever she was talking to him. He was like that when she was trying to get the pizzasium, when they were in Paris, and he was like that at that exact moment.
"Is that all?"
The owner of a Mary Mcguffin doll bit her lip pondering if she should reveal everything to a boy she'd really only had a couple encounters with. And yet he listened to and understood her better then people she talked to on a daily basis. And while she felt like she knew him forever he was still rather a mystery to her. Maybe if she opened up to him, he would do the same to her.
"Well actually this is the second time that we've broken up. The first time was when he started to pay more attention to a video game then me, then a couple weeks later he came to me and asked me to give him a second chance. And I remember what you said about meeting people you love halfway so I decided to give him a second chance."
Ferb nodded still listening to her intently already knowing where this story was heading.
"And for a while things were great, I was happy and I thought he was too, but then he stopped returning my calls all of a sudden. At first I thought he was just really busy so I went to his house to check up on him."
She found herself struggling with her words slightly, this being the first time she talked about this event she tried her best to control her emotions. When she looked back at Ferb she saw he was still focusing on solely her, she decided to slowly continue.
"Anyway I walked into his room and guess what he was doing. Playing that same exact game! And the worst part was that his phone was right next to him, he could have picked up at anytime! But no he was too busy with his game, that's when I realized that he wouldn't change...so I broke up with him."
She exhaled feeling like a huge weight on her shoulders was lifted by talking about her break-up. But then she looked at the green-haired boy beside her and felt slightly guilty.
"I'm sorry we've been talking about me all this time and we didn't talk at all about you. What's new with you Ferb?"
This time Vanessa leaned on her fist giving him her full attention returning the favor to him. Ferb leaned back against the bench and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"Well let's see. Things have actually been kind of quiet since we traveled around the world, in fact before you stopped by my friends and I were trying to come up with something to do today."
"Well it's always fun to go to a concert in the summer. Is there a band you and your friends enjoy."
"Well we always have fun whenever Love Handel plays."
"That was my mom and dad's favorite band. And I secretly kinda like them too." Vanessa admitted.
"There's nothing wrong with that."
"Well I know I'd certainly like to see them live. I'm sorry I'm talking about myself again."
"No it's fine I don't mind."
She gazed intently at her enigma of a companion to her shocked that the boy always seemed to say the right thing at the right time.
"Well I should probably get you home before your friends start to worry. Come on I'll walk you." Ferb nodded as he got up to follow her back to his house. Of course the two of them were enjoying themselves with each other too much to notice a certain blue-green mammal watching them from a tree above them.
Hey folks welcome to my first Phineas and Ferb fic I hope it's not too bad so far, and it's not quite the end my friends there's still one more chapter to go and I should posting it in a day or two depending on whether I have the time or not. Anyway be sure to read it because you'll find out what happens with Phineas and friends, Doof and his inator , and how Love Handel fits into this story. Anyway be sure to read and review. They make my day so please give them to me.
Disclaimer: Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Bowling for Soup own the song Punk Rock 101