Twilighted Facebook Statuses
Summary: What would each character's status updates read like? Let's follow them through a day on Facebook. A lot of the characters, incl. Nessie. Very fluffy, sorry.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Facebook. They are property of their respective owners.
Alice has set up Facebook accounts for each member of the Cullen family. She wishes it was her idea, but she actually stole it from Jasper's friend Peter, who set one up to keep up with all the other nomads they know. She logs on, and her news feed brings up everyone's status updates.
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What's on your mind?
Edward's_Bella is dancing in her room, and spinning some "Blue October."
Bella's Edward is watching Bella dance with Nessie. It's so cute!
Nessie_Rocks thinks her parents should get a room.
Jasper Whitlock says Alice is looking good today. (You like this).
Blondie Vamp is watching her hubby watch football.
Emmett is awesome Go Giants! It's pennant time for Tim Lincecum, my friends.
Mom to six vampires wishes her husband was home from work already.
Carlisle the Cardiologist wishes he was home from work, too (two friends like this).
Peter loves Charlotte wants to go camping/hunting/fishing with Jasper Whitlock!
Charlotte loves Peter thinks that Peter is dreaming. Fishing? Srsly? (You like this).
Randy the Great wants to know if he's invited to this shindig?
Stefan the Original thinks the Volturi sucks.
Vlad_the Terrible is listening to Jimmy Buffet (You, Stefan, and Carlisle like this)
Tanya in Denali is a cheeseburger in Paradise (take that, Vladimir). (Vladimir likes this).
Kate in Alaska says that if Tanya is a Cheeseburger in Paradise, then she is drifting away again in Margaritaville, and no, she doesn't like Pina Coladas. Back at ya, Tans. (Tanya, You, and three others like this.)
Carlisle the Cardiologist thinks that if this is going to turn into Jimmy Buffett song-lyric insult time, he's SO not coming home.
Esme Cullen says think again, buddy. (Carlisle likes this).
Carlisle the Cardiologist sorry, baby.
Jacob Black says gross. I really need to find a new vampire family to hang around with. (Jasper, Edward, and You like this)
Seth the Werewolf thinks that Jacob Black has issues. Yep, yep.
Charlie Swan thinks that Jimmy Buffett sucks. It's all about Neil Young.
Aro from Volterra rolls his eyes at the American's taste in music.
Marcus the Elder actually thinks that Taylor Swift is cute.
Caius the Oldest thinks his brothers are full of bologna.
Liam from Dublin says actually, they are full of people from Bologna. (Caius, Esme, and Edward like this).
Siobhan Murphy thinks Liam needs to not be insulting the Volturi. Got it, you eegit?
Maggie Purple Eyes thinks that parents are embarrassing. (every Cullen kid likes this)