Heart In Chains
Author: sohemotional
Pairing: Emily Fields/Paige McCullers
Rating: M (for Part 2)
Length: 633 (Part 1 of 2)
Summary: "Paige had broken free of her chains and was floating, taking Emily with her if only for those few moments."
Set after Paily car kiss in 1x17. Emily can't shake the feeling of Paige after she kisses her.
Emily was still reeling from the confrontation between her mother and Nick McCullers as she quickly made it to her car in less steps than usual. She could feel the cold air fill her lungs. It was refreshing yet ominous. She was angry, hurt, surprised, and hopeful all at the same time. Her emotions tugged her every which way until she grasped for her seat belt, the one anchor to hold her in place. She just needed a moment of stillness, her rambling thoughts spiraling out of control.
That moment never came as, before she could grasp any moment of tranquility, Paige McCullers was sitting next to her. Emily wanted to scream just out of sheer frustration, but the kind yet sorrowful eyes across from her drew her in.
She had studied Paige throughout her mother's rant toward Nick McCullers. Paige had always been hard to read; she never let her emotions show, at least directly. Paige McCullers remained a mystery to most, but at times, Emily knew she would let clues slip, pieces of herself disguised in passive-aggressive remarks, quick glances, the slight quivering of her lip when she was holding back her deepest truths. These were all pieces Emily had collected over the years, hoping that one day she would understand the bigger picture.
Despite her frustration, Emily studied the girl as she spoke, "Listen, it's like your mom said, my dad is always looking for somebody to blame." Paige was never this blatant. It caught Emily off guard, as if Paige were about to reveal an important piece of the puzzle, one that would make sense of everything else.
Emily tried to speak, but all that came out was, "I have to go home. My mom is waiting for me."
"Right. Your mom's waiting," Paige sighed as if it were a slap in the face. This time, Emily needed no map, she was reading Paige like an open book, the frustration and anguish evident in her face.
"God, why is everything so easy for you?" she continued through gritted teeth.
"Easy? What planet do you live on? I spent most of my life trying not to feel the way I feel!" It was then that Emily saw something she had never witnessed in Paige McCullers. It was a mixture of passion, heartache, and understanding. She looked as if she was trying to fly, trying to let something go, but chains were anchoring her to her seat.
"I come out and they ship my first girlfriend off to god knows where and now maybe she's done with me. So yeah, it's all about Emily. All Em, all the time!"
Their lips collided before Emily could finish her last breath. It was in that second that she knew. She understood years of misconstrued arguments, indecipherable facial expressions, and unexplainable actions. Paige had broken free of her chains and was floating, taking Emily with her if only for those few moments. It was an escape. It was as though Emily finally understood what Paige was fighting for this entire time. Paige hadn't been just fighting Emily, or the school, or her parents; Paige was intrinsically fighting herself- the same battle Emily had faced the majority of her life.
Before Emily could grasp the meaning of any of it, Paige was gone, and she was left alone once again. She knew she would never reach a moment of stillness as long as the feel of Paige's lips still lingered on hers. But she didn't want tranquility any more. She wanted Paige. Her emotions became incomprehensible, no rhyme or reason to them. She was left with longing, compassion, and desire. She felt her heart break all at once as the pieces floated up into the night sky with the lucid memory of Paige' lingering kiss.