AN:

JK: Mleh…it had to be done. Yes, Itachi is OOC. Yes, I am an Itachi fangirl.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

-------

-Konohagakure, 8:43 a.m.-

"ITACHIIIIII!!!" Sasuke screamed, charging towards his ubular-sexy brother.

"Not again…" Kisame complained. "Can we never go grocery shopping in Konoha without your brother attacking us?"

"…I think not…" Itachi sighed. "Kisame, do you still have our tally-sheet?"

"Yeah,"

"Then mark this off as number…"

"One, two…oh, my."

"Yeah."

"Say your prayers!" Sasuke yelled, angry that he'd been ignored. Itachi sighed, then bowed in mock prayer. "NOT LITERALLY!!!" Kisame sighed, then checked eggs off the list.

"Itachi? Cereal?"

"Bagels." Itachi said, standing back up.

"Meh…" Kisame vanished into the store.

"DAMMIT, ITACHI! FIGHT ME!"

"Fine."

-Ten Very Painful Seconds Later, Involving Dango, Baseball Bats, And Itachi's Stuffed Weasel-

Itachi was sitting on his brother reading Kisame's diary, which he'd swiped from the shelf when the shark-nin wasn't paying attention.

"AAAAAARGH! GET-OFF-ME!!!" Sasuke yelled.

"Oh, my. This is intriguing."

"AND PUT THAT SHARK'S DAIRY DOWN!!"

"Huh…?"

"Phoenix Flower Jutsu!"

"Wha- OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!" Unfortunately, Itachi was so absorbed in his partner's diary, that he forgot that he was SITTING on his brother. And just when you thought his sexy ass couldn't get any hotter, it did. Literally.

"Gotcha now!" Sasuke said triumphantly, enjoying watching his brother sitting in a fishbowl to put the fire out. "Any last requests?"

"Yes, actually." Itachi replied, standing up, the fishbowl coming up with him. "Um…two, actually."

"One?" The younger Uchiha asked, eager to get rid of his brother.

"One, my rear's stuck in this bowl. Help me out, will you?" The normally emotionless Uchiha asked. Stifling a laugh, Sasuke hastily complied, laughing when Itachi flew ten feet when he got him unstuck.

"Pfft…two…?"

"Yes…well…It's very personal."

"What?"

"I don't know how to put it…"

"What?!"

"Well…"

"WHAT?!" Sasuke shrieked, eager to get this over with and annihilate his obnoxious brother. Itachi turned his back on his brother and pointed to his right shoulder blade.

"My shoulder blade itches like no tomorrow, and I can't reach. You think you could scratch it for me?" Sasuke fell over anime style.

"That's IT?! You want me to scratch your back?!"

"Well…yes."

"Ask the shark!"

"Have you seen his nails?"

"No."

"I'd have five scars on my back."

"Oh." Sasuke sighed, walked up to his brother, and scratched his back.

"Lower…lower…no, higher…little to the right…Oh, yeah…right there…"

"There." Sasuke dropped his hand. The words 'Thank you' had barely fallen from the elder Uchiha's lips before he kicked his younger brother straight through a wall.

"He unconscious?" Kisame asked, staggering out the door.

"Yeah."

"Would it kill you to help me?"

"Yeah."

"Then just let me…" The shark-nin spied a forgotten item on the ground. His diary. "Is this my…?" Itachi paled considerably. Well, paler then normal. When Kisame was mad, he was MAD.

"No…" Itachi started.

"It is! My diary!" Kisame skimmed through some pages. "And you read it?!"

"N-"

"UCHIHA ITACHI, YOU DIRTY ROTTEN WEASEL!!!!"

"…eep…"

-----

AN:

JK: The 'scratch my back' thing was from an episode of Sailor Moon. LOL. Silly weasel, never steal Kisame's diary.