Gokudera's P.O.V.
Never in my life have I dreaded going to school so much...well actually it's this day every year. Another sight passed my lips as the school gates came into view. Like always, there was a crowd of girls swarming the gates talking in loud voices. And there, in the middle of the circle, was him. That stupid idiot, that one way or another, always managed to make himself the center of attention, whether it was playing baseball, stealing girls' hearts, or Juudaime's attention, it seemed everything involved him. The one guy I've been trying to ignore, I can't. I'm start to believe it impossible to ignore his existence.
As I got closer I was able to make out the words the girls were saying as they swarmed him. "Yamamoto-kun, please accept my chocolates", "I made these chocolates just this morning for you", Yamamoto-kun do you have a girlfriend", "I'm a huge fan of yours, please accept this chocolate". And that idiot did, he accepted every single one of the idiotic girls' chocolates, and with that annoying smile on his face the entire time. I was about to yell out for them to get out of my way when Yamamoto looked up and saw me. He smiled and said something to the girls before making his way through them over to me.
"Ohayo*!" Yamamoto greeted me with his usual giant smile.
"Ohayo." I muttered walking past him as the girls moved away from the entrance, some shooting me a dirty look which I shot right back to them making them look away and move quicker.
"It's Valentine's Day." he said happily keeping pace with me as we walked into the building.
"No dip idiot." I snarled shifting my bag slightly. "I already figured that out."
"Why are you in a bad mood today?" Yamamoto asked. "It's a fun day, you get a lot of chocolates."
"If I wanted chocolate I'd go out and buy it myself." I said looking up as two girls approached us in front of our classroom.
"U-ummmm..." the smaller of the two said coming up to me. "G-Gokudera-kun, I made these for you, I-I hope you will accept them."
"No." I said immediately. She looked up and tears started in the corner of her eyes, I sighed and rubbed my hands. "I can't eat chocolate, I'm allergic to it." I lied so she wouldn't start balling, Reborn would have my head if I made another girl cry, whether she was in the family or not, he wasn't happy when I made Haru cry, not repeating that.
"I-I see." she said forcing a smile. "I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about, give it to this idiot." I said jerking my head to Yamamoto. "He'll eat them and tell me if they're good." She nodded and handed them to Yamamoto before running off her friend giving me a long look before following her. I shook my head and walked into the classroom greeting Tsuna before making my way to my seat. Yamamoto followed me and stood beside me as I sat down.
"What the hell do you want?" I asked glaring up at him.
"That was really rude." he said. "I know you lied to her, I've seen you eat chocolate you're not allergic."
"Then why didn't you intervene?" I asked him. "If you knew, then why didn't you tell her I was lying. By doing that you would have forced my hand to take it. So why did you keep quiet."
"You said no for a reason, plus you lied to keep her from crying." he said sitting the box she gave him down on my desk. "These are yours not mine. Eat them and tell her you like them."
"And you think giving me an order will work." I said lowering my voice. "What mind are you in? You don't give me orders."
"It's not an order it's a suggestion." he replied folding his arms. "You know you're going to feel guilty later on."
"Of all the things we've done so far you think not eating some girl's chocolates is going to make me feel bad?" I said widening my eyes. "What the hell goes through your head?"
"Yes I do believe that." he said with a shrug. "You may not feel bad when you fight but when it comes to small things like this, I know you feel bad, I can always tell."
"Look Yamamoto." I said rubbing my head. "I don't know why you think you know me so well but let's get two things straight, one, you don't know me at all, two, I hate Valentine's Day, so if you don't want the chocolates throw them away. But I think she'd rather they be ate than thrown away like trash."
"But that's already how you're treating them!" he argued. "I'm not throwing them away, I'll give them back to her and tell her the truth, it's better than a lie."
"Fine by me." I said looking away from him. Damn idiot, he doesn't get it at all, and now he's gone and made a big deal about it.
"You seriously don't care?" he said annoyance filling his voice.
"I seriously don't care." I confirmed still not looking at him. I don't want her chocolates, I don't even know her. Why except someone's feelings if you're not actually returning them? You just give them false hope, isn't that worse than refusing them? I won't chocolates from someone else not her, but you're too much of an idiot to understand that. "I hate Valentine's Day." he was right, I did feel guilt, but not from refusing her, but from being too much of coward to tell him why.
"So what." he said raising his voice. People turned to look at us and I felt my body heat up from embarrassment. "What does that have to do with anything!"
"You damn idiot!" I yelled standing up quickly and grabbing the front of his shirt. "Mind your own business and quite making a big deal about this. You're too much of an idiot to understand this so go sit down, go tell that girl the truth or whatever. But leave me alone until you understand what the hell it is I'm talking about!" I said breathing heavy. He looked mildly shocked and his hand had grabbed mine at some point. I jerked it away and he stumbled back.
"Whatever Gokudera." he said smoothing his shirt. "I'll talk to you later." he walked back to his seat and Tsuna kept looking back between him and I, confusion and worry clear on his face. My fists were shaking when the teacher walked in.
"Gokudera-kun, please have a seat I'm about to take attendence." he said in a monotone voice. I released my fists and grabbed my stuff. "Gokudera-kun." I walked up to Yamamoto and grabbed the chocolates that were from the girl and stormed out of the room while the teacher yelled to me. I ignored him and went up to the roof where the girl and her friend from earlier were. The girl was bawling and as I walked over her friend glared at me which I kindly ignored.
"Mei?" I said kneeling down in front of her. She looked up her eyes wide with shock.
"Y-you know me?" she said and I nodded and raised the chocolates.
"Can I ask you something about these?" I said quietly. And she nodded her friend stood up and stared at me. "Are these Honmei* or Giri* chocolates?"
She looked down before muttering out the response. "Honmei..." she said quietly and I sighed.
"I thought so." I said before sitting down next to her. "I lied earlier, I'm not allergic to chocolates, actually I love them." she looked at me and I continued. "But I couldn't accept them so I lied so you wouldn't cry. I guess that didn't work out well and I apologize." Which, by the way, felt weird. I don't apologize even if I am sorry but I'm so annoyed with that idiot I decided to anyway. "In Italy we don't really celebrate Valentine's Day, and for those of us that do, it's for people we're truly dating or are married to. But, that's not why I didn't accept them, not entirely the reason anyway, I don't feel the same way for you. And to me, knowing these were Honmei it felt like a confession, and I couldn't accept it." she nodded tears still sliding down her face. "If they were Giri I could, but there not, to accept these chocolates would be an even bigger lie, if I accepted these it would have meant, to me, that there may be a chance that we could get together and there isn't. I didn't want to give you false hope so I lied about being allergic so I didn't have to outright said I didn't like you. Am I making sense?"
"Yes." she said, her voice cracking. "So you're not annoyed?"
"No, I'm not annoyed." I said smiling some. "Honestly, I'm grateful for these. And I wish I could accept them, I really do, but I just can't. It'd be unfair to you since I can't return your feelings. But I shouldn't have told you to give them to Yamamoto, that was wrong, and I apologize for offending you by doing that."
She shook her head and stood giving me smile, one that didn't seem so fake anymore. "No, it's alright. Thank you for explaining." I hand her the chocolates but she pushed them back to me. "Please eat them, they're Giri chocolates now, I hope we can at least be friends."
"Thank you, I'll gladly accept them." I said wipping her tears away. "You're a great girl Mei, I've seen you around school, you're always helping people. You have a beautiful smile and an amazing personality, you'll find a guy that's totally crazy about you."
She blushed and her smile grew larger. "Thank you Gokudera-kun. I hope you find someone too."
"Hehe, I have." I whispered and she nodded. "Oh you weren't supposed to hear that."
"I won't say anything." she laughed. "I wish you the best of luck, maybe today you'll have better luck. It is the day of love after all. I'll see you around school." she said waving good-bye as her and her friend left the roof. I looked down at the chocolates and my smile faded.
"Love and I don't quit get along." I muttered sitting back down on the roof. I took out and cigarette and lite it calming down as the smoke filled my lungs. I opened the chocolates and took one of them out and ate them. "They're actually pretty good." I put out the cigarette and placed the chocolates in my bag before laying down on the roof and staring up at the ceiling. Well, at least that was out of the way. But, there was no way I could go back to class, not with how I left. Not that I really cared, I just didn't want Juudaime to worry anymore. Ehh, I'll wait till the bell rings and go back for the second class." I turned on my side and closed my eyes and fell asleep.
I opened my eyes as I heard footsteps behind me. I looked behind me and quickly sat up. Tsuna and the baseball idiot were walking toward me, Tsuna looking worried and relieved and Yamamoto looking like he did when I left.
"Gokudera-kun here you are!" Tsuna said sitting down next to me. "You never came back."
"I was planning on coming back for our second class." I said rubbing the back of my head.
"It's lunch now." Tsuna sighed looking at me.
"Yeah, I guess I fell asleep." I laughed not looking at Yamamoto as he sat down across from me.
"Are you alright?" Tsuna asked glancing at Yamamoto.
"Yeah of course." I said with a shrug. "I just remembered some stuff I had to finish and didn't feel like listening to that guy talk."
"What did you have to do?" Yamamoto asked his voice lacking it's usual upbeat tone.
I tensed up before looking at him, his eyes were empty and he wasn't smiling. "Once I again I fail to see how it's your business what I do. But, for Juudaime's sake, I'll tell you. I went to speak to Mei."
"Mei?" he said sounding confused.
"The girl from earlier that gave me those chocolates you got so worked up about." I said my voice dripping with sarcasm. Tsuna looked between us getting more nervous with each second. "And I told her the "truth", as you liked to put it. Now we're friends, I hope your happy."
"What the hell Gokudera!" he said clenching his fists. "What can't you for once sound happy when you talk instead of sarcastic, you were being a jerk and I called you out on it. Did you actually talk to her or just snap at her like you do with everyone else?"
"There's no pleasing you is there?" I asked my smile dropping away immediately. I knew this wouldn't go over well, but I'm still not used to him snapping like this.
"Why do you have to be an ass though?!" he said. "You're like that to everyone you always push them away, and I get that most of the time, you have to. But what did that girl do to you that made you have to act the way you did?!" I stood up and glared at him, I could feel the tugging of tears at my eyes and I forced them away.
"YOU GOD DAM N IDIOT!" I yelled at him as loud as I could, "I DON'T LIKE HER LIKE THAT, I CAME UP HERE TO TELL HER THAT! I COULDN'T ACCEPT HER FEELINGS SO INSTEAD OF OUTRIGHT TELLING HER I LIED SO SHE WOULDN'T CRY, BUT I FIGURED SHE DID ANYWAYS AND GUESSED THAT SHE CAME UP, I KNEW THAT THE MOMENT I WENT INTO THE CLASSROOM! THEN YOU HAD TO GO AND GET ALL ANGRY AND I DIDN'T WANT THAT SO I LEFT AND WENT TO FIND HER TO APOLOGIZE. AND NO I DIDN'T SNAP AT HER, I TOLD HER THE TRUTH, SHE FORGAVE ME AND I ACCEPTED THE CHOCOLATES ON THE BASES THAT WE WERE FRIENDS AND THERE WERE NO OTHER FEELINGS BEHIND THEM!" I stopped and stared at him my breathing hard and fast and my nails were cutting deep into my skin that I could feel blood trickling from my palm. Tsuna and Yamamoto were looking at me in deep shock and I felt the tears slide down my face and my eyes widened before I shut them and wiped them away on the back of my hand. Damn, guess Mei wasn't the only I was going to make cry today, I making myself cry because I'm gonna do the one thing I swore to myself I wasn't going to do.
The silence stretched on till the sound of someone clearing there throat made us look over towards the door. Hibari stood there staring at us before walking forwad. "Well as interesting as that wasn't, I'm interrupting you to take away your precious friend." he said grabbing Tsuna's arm and pulling him up before walking away. Tsuna stopped and looked over at us, I looked away from and down to the ground, he shouldn't be seeing his right-hand man crying because of something as petty as this.
"I'm not sure what's going on." he said as Hibari turned to look at him, an annoyed expression clear on his face. "But please talk it out you two, try not to argue anymore." he said but was cut short as Hibari pulled off the roof and back into the building. Silence spread between as I stood staring at the ground, I heard Yamamoto move and glanced at him as he stood looking at me.
"Gokudera-kun..." he started but I shook my head.
"I couldn't accept her feelings because I liked someone else." I said looking at Yamamoto. "She liked me and I couldn't give her false hope because I couldn't return her feelings because I love someone else. But that person is too much of damn idiot to get the hints. But it wouldn't matter anyways, since that person would that just get too grossed out by me anyways. But you know what? I don't care anymore, it's you! I couldn't accept her feelings because my feelings for you keep getting in the way and I'm tired of it! So there now you know, so please just lay off, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of arguing with you and having this depressed feeling afterward. I'm tired of seeing you with other girls and knowing that you'd never be able to return my feelings. I'm tired of being the odd one in the family. I'm tired of it." The tears were flowing freely now and I couldn't stop them, I didn't try. "But I'll try, I'll try to be normal. Now that I told you, I'll end these feelings for you now."
"Gokudera..." I reached out for me. "I'm, I, I'm your friend why didn't you say something?"
"How was I supposed to?!" I said covering my face. "I didn't want you to hate me and never talk to me. I'd rather live with unrequited feelings than live with you never talking to me. But I'll drop them, somehow, I'll get rid of the feelings so please just forget any of this happened, forget I said anything. Maybe I'll ask out Mei, she's nice and pretty, I'll learn to love her instead." I pulled away and grabbed my stuff leaving the roof. I ran down the stairs and into the bathroom, thankfully it was empty, surprisingly. I looked in the mirror and winced. My face was flushed and my eyes were turning red. I turned on the cold water and splashed my face continuously before cupping my hands under the water and watching as the water spilled over.
I'm such an idiot, why did I do that. Why did I tell him, I shouldn't have gotten so worked up, after all the things I did for the mafia I should have been able to handle my emotions. "Gah! I'm so pissed, I'm an idiot!" I said splashing the water on my face. It took a few minutes but I was able to get my breathing under control again and my eyes to return to normal. I stood up straight and walked out of the bathroom and into my next class just as the bell rang. Yamamoto walked in after and looked at me before sitting down. Throughout the class he would glance over at me and then away looking slightly confused. For the remainder of the school day this is how it remained.
When the bell rang I was grateful, at least until the teacher from my first class walked and stood in front of my desk. I remained motionless as everyone walked out and looked at us whispering. Yamamoto was the last to leave as he stared at his for a second before walking out and closing the door.
"Well Gokudera?" he said glaring at me. "Want to explain your actions this morning? I don't care who think you are but I won't allow you to get away with that in my class. I should expel you, but I won't, this is the first time you've walked out of my class with that big of a disturbance, and while you're fouled temper you're a great student." his tone softened. "I know you live alone Gokudera, if you need help or someone to talk to you just have to say something, we may be old people to you but that doesn't mean we're oblivious to the things students go through, big or small."
"Thanks but I don't need the help." I muttered looking at the desk. "And it won't happen again. I just had stuff to take care of and left."
"I didn't think you'd tell me." he laughed. "I'm giving you a warning, you ever do that again in my class I'll have you expelled I don't need that behavior. Now I suggest you go straight home and not cause any more trouble."
"Yes sir." I said as he walked about nodding to someone in the hallway. I stood up and looked out the windows at the people leaving the gates laughing or holding hands with others. I sat my bag on the table and walked up to the windows. Everyone seemed happy, I wonder what will happen tomorrow to that happiness, will it still be there or will it be replaced with anger or sadness. What will Tsuna say, he never came back to class so he doesn't know yet, what will Yamamoto say? He won't talk to me anymore, even if I did ask him to forget, something that big isn't easily forgotten. And Tsuna, he'll take Yamamoto's side even if he doesn't say it outright. People like me, we're not liked amongst the mafia, we're liked even less among them than we are among normal people.
"I'm an idiot." I whispered. "I've ruined everything." I said before tensing up as arms ciricled around me. I looked down at the tan arms around my chest and titled my head back some to see black hair as his head was laid on my shoulder.
"Y-Yamamoto!" I said shocked, I didn't even hear him come in or when he shut the door.
"I'm sorry Gokudera." he whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't realize how you felt, I made you suffer so much because of it."
"Shut up." I hissed. "What are you sorry about? What did you do? Nothing, this time it's me, I'm the one in the wrong."
"How are you wrong just because of your feelings?" he asked. "Why do you have to feel this way? There's nothing wrong, I wished I would have noticed. I'm so sorry Gokudera, I'm sorry, please give me another chance." my eyes widened at his words as he turned my around and hugged me into his chest. "I won't let you feel this way, please, don't ever cry because of me again." He tilted my face up towards him and wiped away my tears. "No, please don't cry ever. I don't care what anyone says, there's nothing wrong with you, I don't know what this feeling is but I promise you it's not pity or disgust." he cupped my face and stared at me before hugging me again. "I'll take care of you, so just give me another chance."
"Yamamoto." I said grabbing onto the back of shirt as more tears fell from my eyes. "You don't, you don't just change your emotions like that. You don't like and I don't want you to treat me like this, you're too nice and I don't need that."
"I'm not being nice." he whispered into my hair. "I'm being selfish, maybe emotions do change that fast, maybe they were always there and I just didn't know what they were. I always liked you more than anyone else in the familiga. Whenever you were around I always paid attention to you, I thought maybe it was because you were so much louder than the others. But I don't think so, I always felt conflicted when you acted so cold towards others, I wanted to make you see that they weren't against you, that you could trust us, and when someone hurt you I felt a deep anger in me, I wanted to make you sure safe and unhurt but I didn't know how and I knew you wouldn't let me even if I could. Maybe these feelings have always been love and I didn't know because I never planned on falling for you, never expected too." I went motionless as he continued to whisper things to me, his words became a hum and I couldn't understand him. There was no way, after all this time, since I first saw him, he was actually returning my feelings. I reached my hands up and wrapped them around his neck and smiled.
"I don't know what I have to do to make you believe I'm telling you the truth." Yamamoto said pulling and holding my shoulders. "I know it seems like I'm saying this out of pity and I'm not, nor am I saying this to make you feel better about yourself. Maybe you're right, maybe this isn't love but let me try, I know I have feelings for you outside of being a friend, if it's not love now it will. Already I want to spend as much time as possible with you at school, even outside of school I want to hang out with you."
"Alright." I said, this is what I wanted why am I so hesitant now? "I believe you, if you're willing to try fine. After everything I said to you, I'd be an idiot to refuse, just don't expect me to change. I don't know if I can just open up, as you call it, to you or anyone else just like that."
"I don't want you to." he nodded. "But I'll do anything to make you see that there isn't anything wrong with you, us, or anything you seem worried about."
"In the mafia, there is a problem with it." I answered him slowly so he'd listen. "You can't just change that, I wish, but you can't, while true it's not as much of a problem now as it used to be, it's still highly thought down on."
"Tsuna's gay." he said suddenly and I froze and looked at him and he laughed. "You look confused, you didn't seriously not know? Him and Hibari are dating, that's why they left at lunch, Hibari probably did something special for him since it's Valentine's Day." I remained silent before looking down with a sigh.
"I can't believe I missed that." I said regretfully, I've been so caught up in myself I didn't know Tsuna had found someone.
"Don't worry about it." Yamamoto said. "Tsuna was doing the same thing you did, he never told us because he thought we'd be disgusted, just like what you thought. I only know because Hibari asked me what Tsuna liked to do in free time since we're always with him." I looked up, so Tsuna thought that too.
I let out smile at Yamamoto. "I'm glad he's happy, even if it is with Hibari." Yamamoto didn't reply and his face became serious as he stared at me. "Yamamoto wha..." I was cut off as he leaned down quickly and placed his lips in mine. I froze and tightened my arms around his neck unsure of what to do. He raised a hand to rest in my hair and placed the other on my hip and tilted my head back further to reach my lips better. He didn't close his eyes and stared into mine as he hummed out. He was kissing me, he actually kissed me, on his own will. I fought against it but my eyes closed as I leaned into the kiss as he let out another hum. It was a passionate kiss, but it was the first and one I didn't even dare to dream about having. As he pulled away he leaned his head against mine.
"Happy Valentine's Day, my Love." he whispered kissing me again as the empty classroom was painted orange from the setting sun.
Happy Valentine's Day, my Love.
Me: Yeah so really late but I didn't have time to do it on the 14th since my family surprised me by taking me out for the day after class and then I spent the weekend home, which doesn't happen often enough, so I didn't do anything then. And Monday was class and work and then homework. So sorry it's so late but I loved writing this. And oh gosh did this story take a direction I did not see coming. I was going to do all pink and red fluff in this story and I didn't, I was honestly going to make it pure happy and cheesy and I just couldn't write it and it came out like this. I was going to have it where Yamamoto confessed to him after school and not Gokudera yelling out his feelings on the roof. Wow, well I still liked how it turned out even though it wasn't what I was suspecting and I hope you guys enjoy it even though it's late.
Ohayo- Ohayo means morning in Japanese, they say this before 12 noon when it is then switched to Konnichiwa. Ohayogozaimasu is the formal, polite, way of saying morning, I translate it as good morning while Ohayo just means morning. This may not be over accurate but in English terms this is what it would roughly translate too. Ohayo is used among friends while Ohayogozaimasu would be used to teachers or random people on the street.
Honmei Choco- these are chocolates girls give to boys there like. They're "true-love chocolates"
Giri Choco- these chocolates are given by girls to boys that they don't have romantic feelings for. They're called Obligation Chocolates.