THE YU-GI-OH ROAD-TRIP FROM HECK! by The Maine Coon Cat
A parody of all the "Road-Trip", S. I. (Self-Insertion), and O. O. C. stories I have ever seen.
Chapter One: SUMMONING!
Little Yugi Motou stood in his little kitchen, pouring himself a little bowl of Cheerios. Or the Japanese equivalent of Cheerios, anyway. "Ah, what a wonderful, peaceful morning! I LOVE (the Japanese equivalent of–) Cheerios!"
"Me too." Came a dark voice from behind him. Little Yugi (who was lucky enough not to have been holding his cereal at the moment) leapt approximately four feet, six inches into the air. Wow! That's taller than he is! Any-who...
"YAMI!" he cried.
Indeed, it WAS Yami Yugi, in all his bishie glory. Take a good look at him, obsessed fan-girls, for now he has his Own Body.
"Yes." Yami responded needlessly. "I don't know how it happened."
"Maybe something EVIL is afoot!" Poor Yugi cried.
"Perhaps." Yami narrowed his (GORGEOUS!) eyes in determination. "And we WILL find that evil! ...Right after we eat breakfast."
But before they could eat their yummy (Japanese equivalent of–) breakfast, a bright green light appeared!
AND IT TRANSPORTED THEM OUT OF THE KITCHEN, CEREAL AND ALL!
Just kidding! The cereal got left behind.
Poor cereal...
(THIS IS A SCENE CHANGING DEVICE!)
"Ugh...where are we?"
Both the bishies opened their eyes to see...
A warehouse and two blue vans?
"Welcome, Yugi-boy!" A familiar voice called. "And, um...OTHER Yugi-boy."
"Yami Yugi." Yami corrected him, before pointing and yelling, "Why have you brought us here, Pegasus!"
"HUH? Well, I never! I didn't bring you here! Look around! MY evil lairs are SO much more CHIC!"
"So... who DID bring us here?"
"Well, that's what everyone would like to know."
Once again, little Yugi leapt in the air. Only this time, he twirled for some reason. "TEA?"
And not JUST Tea! There was Seto Kaiba, Mokuba, Marik, Yami Marik (in his own body too!), Duke, Weevil, and...Dartz? That blue-headed FREAK with the sea monster and glow-y stone thing! What's HE doing here?
But Tea didn't get a chance to respond (Awww!-–NOT.) because everyone's attention was suddenly turned to...
The authoress of this fanfic! Behold her in all her supreme (-ly stupid!) S. I. splendor! "Hey everyone!" she chirped.
"Why are we here, fiend!" Yami Yugi (but we'll just call him "Pharaoh" from now on, okay?) yelled.
"You are going to do something no one has ever done before! EVER! You are the best! The bravest! The only people qualified for this mission! YOU ARE GOING TO...get me a candy bar!"
The S. I. Took a moment to observe her stunned audience.
"A candy bar!" Seto Kaiba was livid; but he's always livid about something, so no one cared. "You kidnaped us so we could get you a CANDY BAR?"
"A candy bar...from across the world!" S. I. Faith added, as if that made anything better. "And you're going to ride there in those two big, blue vans! They each seat six, so you'll have to split up, 'cause there's eleven of you."
"I don't want to be here!" Seto growled; but Seto never wanted to be ANYWHERE, so no one cared. Well, no one except Mokuba, but Mokuba ALWAYS cares about his big brother, so... he was just upset.
S. I. Faith ignored Seto, along with all the other protests coming from her audience. "I've already set everything up, so there's NO WAY OUT OF IT. And no–" She glared at Pharaoh, who was opening his mouth to say something. "–I will NOT duel you. Live with it."
She continued. "Anyway, money for gas, food, and hotel-staying is already provided, and I have the groups all picked out...
LIGHT BLUE VAN or VAN 1
Duke (as the driver)
Yugi
Pharaoh
Tea
Seto
Mokuba
DARK BLUE VAN or VAN 2
Marik (as the driver)
Yami Marik
Dartz
Weevil
Pegasus
Get it? Got it? HUH? Good. GET SEATED NOW!"
And, with that, she disappeared, leaving everyone stupefied.
"...I call front seat!" Weevil cried.
"NEVER!" Pegasus shrieked, and all the others watched the two imbeciles race for Van 2. Unfortunately, both got there at relatively the same time, and a girly cat-fight ensued.
"HA!" Pegasus yelled victoriously, slamming the door in Weevil's face.
"You just got lucky!" The boy replied, slinking into the back.
Tea lifted her head proudly. "We don't need to fight over seats, do we guys? We're FRIENDS."
But, in back of her, said 'friends' were all fighting for the passenger's seat as well.
Eventually, Tea won.
"Ha-ha! LOSERS." She chorused as the van started up.
(THIS IS A SCENE CHANGING DEVICE!)
In the Dark Blue Van, hereafter referred to as 'V2', Yami Marik was having a royal fit.
"YOU! She. Picked. YOU to be the driver!"
The good other Marik sighed contemptuously, "I'M not insane...like SOME people I know."
"I'M NOT INSANE! I'M A RADICAL!"
The rest in the backseat moved as far away from the psychopath as possible. (Just so you know, he was sitting in the middle, because Weevil and Dartz both had blueish hair, and it just wouldn't have looked right to have them sit together. It would have CLASHED.)
Dartz (who was seated to the left of Psycho Yami) inspected his fingernails in an 'I'm-soooooo-much-better-than-yooooouuuu' fashion. "If you two baboons are finished bickering, where exactly is this–" He shuddered. "–'Candy Bar' we are supposed to be after?"
"At the other end of the earth." Marik answered casually.
"I don't have time for this!" Weevil squawked.
"Why? Where do you need to be?"
Weevil just snarled in response, because in reality, he did not need to be anywhere. Because he was a nerdy loser who had no friends. Let's all feel sad for Weevil a second...
...(boo-hoo)...
Okay, we're done!
Pegasus wasn't listening to the conversation, and was quite surprised when Marik (the one driving– not Mr. Weirdo) tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, will you hand me the map, please?"
"Why, yes." he said. Unfortunately for Pegasus, he did not know where the map was. "Um..."
"I think it's in the glove box." Marik offered nicely.
But, being so used to riding in a glove-box-less limousine all his life, he didn't know what a glove box was, or why a MAP would be in it when it was called a GLOVE box.
Marik didn't look so nice anymore. In the backseat, his yami snickered violently.
"Just let me get it." Marik reached over, opening the glove box and feeling around. Finally, he pulled out a map and handed it to Pegasus. "You can READ maps, can't you?"
And, in fact, he COULD! Huzza! Huzza! Soon, the trio knew exactly where they were going.
"Wait a minute–we've passed that barn THREE TIMES already!" Yami Marik cried.
"PEGASUS!"
(THIS IS A SCENE CHANGING DEVICE!)
(A/N: Well, there it is. Oh, and, before you review, I want to let you know that I am not making fun of anyone's story in particular–this was actually inspired by a 'Fruits Basket' parody I read awhile ago.
Please read and review! And no flames or criticism that rips the story apart.
FRENCH TOAST AND JUICE FOR ALL MY REVIEWERS!)