Gideon had just taken the last of that morning's pies out of the oven and placed it in the display case when the door to his shop was kicked open, giving way to two officers of the law. The officers said nothing as they marched up to the counter, sunglasses shielding their eyes. Gideon took off his mittens and stood up to greet the officers at eye level.
"Mornin' officers. Somethin' I can help ya with?"
"Gideon Gray?" The shorter of the two asked.
The fox behind the counter bounced on the balls of his feet. "The one and only."
The two officers exchanged glances before the taller of the two spoke. "You're under arrest."
The color drained from Gideon's face in an instant. "What for?"
The taller of the officers leaned over the counter and removed his sunglasses, his cheeks spreading into a wide, wolfish smirk. "Violation #897 sub-section F of the official Zootopia mandate."
The two officers shared small smiles between themselves before he continued. "Pies too good to be legal."
The trio of animals shared a good-natured laugh, the fox giving Gideon's shoulder a friendly nudge.
"Gideon, how's it goin', bud?
"Pretty good. Just gettin' ready for the morning."
"Well, the pies look delicious today," Judy said, her face flat against the display case below the counter.
"You want a couple?" Gideon asked.
"That'd be great."
"Alright," Gideon plucked a spatula out of the wooden container on the counter and spun it deftly in his paws. "What'll it be?"
Judy's eyes hungrily roved the display case, her mouth practically salivating as she imagined tasting them all. She was conflicted. She had initially decided on cherry, However, as she continued to study the case's contents, she spied a lemon meringue pie that set her taste buds a-twitter; and she would have been perfectly content with it too if she hadn't seen the carrot pie hiding at the very end.
"Ugh, they all look so delicious. I can't decide."
"Here, lemme help," Nick said, leaning over so that his face was right next to Judy's, the tip of his claw touching the glass. "Eeny...meenie...miney...moe." Nick's searching claw eventually settled on one of the confections closest to him and Judy had to lean over him and squint to read the tag.
"Pickled pink…? What is that?"
"Pickles," Gideon answered simply. "Lotsa pickles."
Judy scrunched up her nose at the confection and looked to Nick, who was grinning impishly at her.
"Nick," she started in a hushed whisper. "I don't know about-"
"Perfect," Nick interjected, fishing his wallet out of his uniform and flicking it open. "How much?"
"That'll be $9.99."
"Great," Nick removed a couple of bills out of his wallet and placed them on the counter. "We'll take two."
Gideon flipped the spatula in his hand and pushed open the display case. "Two pickle pies, comin' right up."
Judy leaned over toward her partner, a paw cupped over her mouth. "Nick," she whispered. "I thought you said you wanted Tiramisu."
"I say lots of things I don't mean."
"Do you even like pickles?"
"Yeah, who doesn't like pickles?"
"...Me."
Nick frowned down at the rabbit. "You know you really can't afford to be picky these days. You know what they say, 'the pickiest ones are often last of the litter.'"
"...what?"
"You've never heard anyone say that before?"
Judy shook her head, slowly.
"Well, it's a common expression."
"How common?"
"Common enough."
The duo's back and forth was interrupted as Gideon resurfaced, placing two brown carry-out boxes on the counter in front of them, each bearing his smiling face.
"There ya go. Two pickles pies, freshly baked and ready to enjoy."
"Thank you," Judy said grabbing one of the boxes and giving it an experimental sniff. "Smells-" she had to fight the urge to gag as she looked up at her childhood tormentor turned friend. "-delicious."
"I do my best," Gideon replied proudly.
"And I'm sure they're excellent as always." Nick cut in, lifting the other box off the counter with one paw and shepherding his partner toward the door with the other. "Anyway, we've got a big day ahead of us. Lots of tickets to write, perps to catch. You know how it is."
"Oh, I don't doubt that. I'll just leave the police work to you two, so long as you leave the pie makin' to me." Gideon laughed.
"Deal," Nick returned the chuckle, turning to wave at the other fox. "Have a good day, Gid."
"Likewise."
"Bye, Gideon," Judy tried even as she was being steered out the door by her partner. Once she heard the bell ding behind them and was sure the door had closed, she spun out of Nick's grasp and affixed him with searching eyes.
"What was that about?"
"What was what about?"
"That," Judy gestured toward the building with her free paw. "That whole rushing out the door thing. And buying not one, but two pickle pies? I didn't even know you could put pickles in a pie."
"You know what, carrots. You are so right. Here." In a movement nearly too fast to react to, Nick shoved his box in the crook of Judy's free arm. "I'm gonna run back in and get my pie."
"Hey," Judy protested, teetering on her feet as she tried to balance the boxes. "We have parking duty today in case you forgot."
"Two minutes, I promise. Keep the engine running."
"Whatever," Judy grumbled as she waddled toward the car.
Back inside the shop, Gideon had just finished replacing the two pies he'd sold and was busy idly cleaning off his favorite spatula when he heard the bell above the door chime.
"Welcome to- Oh, hey Mr. Wilde. Forget somethin'?"
"Don't call me mister." Nick said, placing his paws behind his back and began strolling around the shop. "I already feel old enough as it is."
"Sorry."
"Not a problem."
"And no, I didn't forget anything." Nick sauntered innocuously up to the counter and bent down to inspect the freshly baked pies lining the inside of the display case. When he'd vetted the whole row he stood back up, leaning an elbow on the counter and grinning up at the other mammal with his eyes.
"Alright, let's talk turkey."
Gideon raised an eyebrow "Pardon...?"
"You think I don't notice?"
"Notice what, Mr. Wilde?"
"Nick." he corrected.
"Right, sorry. Nick."
"And don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You do it every time we come in here." Nick smiled at the taller fox, reaching into the pocket of his uniform and extracting a pen and a slip of paper, which he immediately began to scribble on. Gideon attempted to lean over the counter to see what the shorter fox was writing, but the paper was pulled away and he was met with an absolutely wolfish grin. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
Gideon shot ramrod straight, "Gee, I ain't sure exactly what I did. But whatever it is, I'm awful sorry."
"Good," Nick said, reaching over the counter and — with the flick of a claw — hooking Gideon through the collar of his shirt. Using his newfound leverage, the slender fox pulled their upper bodies toward one another, his muzzle just inches from Gideon's ear. "Because ogling an officer is a punishable offense."
Gideon's jaw unhinged and fell open as he was informed of his supposed offense. "I wasn't oglin', I swear."
"You swear?"
Gideon raised a paw as if under oath. "On my mother's eternal soul."
Nick laughed and leaned back on the counter. "Relax, big guy. You're not actually in trouble."
Gideon let out a breath of air and his shoulders immediately relaxed. "I'm not?"
"No," Nick laughed. "Trust me. If you could get locked up just for rubbernecking, I'd have been in jail a looong time ago."
Nick returned the pen to the breast pocket of his uniform and folded up the ticket he'd been writing on. "But I do wish you'd have said something earlier-" with a grin befitting his lineage, Nick leaned over and tucked the card into the collar of Gideon's shirt. "-Carrots isn't exactly the 'friends with benefits' type. Plus, I haven't really had anyone to mess around with in a while."
"Mess around with…?" Gideon repeated incredulously. Nick only continued to grin at him.
"Yeah. I mean, unless I'm reading this wrong, but you don't strike me as the window shopping type."
"I'm not sure I follow."
Nick's features sagged a little. "You know how some animals-" the bleating of a car horn effectively broke Nick's train of thought. "-Whatever, it's not that important. I gotta run. But if you do feel like messin' around a little or something, you have my number."
Gideon watched Nick scuttle out of the shop, and only once the chime above the door sounded did he come back to himself, pawing clumsily at the collar of his shirt until he found the paper Nick had stuck there.
Unfolding the parchment which he could now see was a blank parking ticket, Gideon turned it over in his paws, his face blanching at the ten digit number scrawled in barely legible handwriting.
"Oh, jeez. What did I go and get myself into?"