How Do You Go On?

How do you go on? When you are constantly burning, insulted and despised, unable to turn to anyone? Loneliness clouds your thoughts and influences your actions. Your energy and life come from the terrifying strength of darkness. Your own name offends those who hear it; you are an insult. You've given up on amending your lost ways; Forgiveness for who you are and always will be is far beyond your reach.

So, how do you go on? Do you seek someone who will understand? Someone who will show you compassion and love despite who you are and what you have done? But, if you find this person, against all of the odds, will you trust them? Will you give them your battered heart, in the hope that they won't shatter the fragile thing? Do you open yourself to them, show them your feelings, and tell them what is on your mind? Will you talk to them? Will they listen?

So, how will you go on? When you see this precious someone's purity start to fade, to dim, abandoning them when you come near? When you realize that, if you stay, they will be doomed to the same fate that you have suffered for millennia? When their will being rests in your bloodied hands, and you had to hurt them first, to then let them heal? Will you tell yourself that it's right, that they will be happy without you, and that you can go on without them? Without their love to comfort you, how will you go on?

So, how should you go on? They tell you that you will always be loved, and will always have their feelings for you. Do you believe them? Because if not, how would you go on? Would you cry? Shed tears that have never fallen before? When you don't know how to in the first place? You cannot shed a single tear, and cannot love the one you hold dear, how will you go on?

Can you find it in yourself to go on?

Will you give up the fight, and simply quit?

Or will you see the reason you have to go on? Do you see it? There. That's how you can go on.

Your home, a shelter for those who have died unrepentant, can't stand without you. To redeem the souls of the damned, and to help them right their wrongs, that is your reason to go on. To show them the light, the bright purity that you cannot obtain, the one you wish for but cannot own. You will help these poor souls to see the light, reach it, and own it, sharing it with others. They will rise out of hell, your home, and they will have the peace that all the dead deserve. That is how you will go on.

And, go on you shall.